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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
We're gonna get right to the point, short, concise, direct, all that and more, let's go. Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher Podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything.
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This podcast is sponsored by, you know it, Cozy Earth. I love Cozy Earth because all of their products are extremely premium, comfortable, and cozy. From bed sheets to bath towels to house shoes, to be honest, they're house shoes. For those who've been listening to these episodes, they're still killing it. I have been wearing these things around the house and they're fantastic.
So I can't recommend Cozy Earth enough. We have their bed sheets. We have their bath. They have these bath sheets. These like bath towels that are as tall as me. I'm over six foot and they're huge and they're awesome. So if you like quality products, you like things that are comfortable and cozy, look no further than Cozy Earth. You can go to CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson.
Use the code Jefferson and get up to 20% off. That's CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson. Use the code Jefferson and get up to 20% off. Let's keep going. I speak to a lot of people, not just, I don't mean that in people in the world. I mean, specifically in my job as an attorney, I speak to a lot of people and I train a lot of people in how to communicate.
And one of the number one things that I hear time and time again is Jefferson, I wish I could just, I'm not very direct when it comes to depositions, cross-examination, direct examination. When I answer questions from people, I have a really hard time being direct. And I wish that I wasn't that way. If that's you, if you're listening and go, I wish I could be more direct.
I really don't know how it sounds and I really don't know how to do it. This is the episode. I'm going to teach you exactly how to do it. So what is being direct? It is a straight line from A to B. That's what it is. No farther than what it needs to be. No longer than what it needs to be. It is not a detour.
I want you to think of it like Google Maps or Waze or whatever you, you know, however you, maybe MapQuest, anybody? Think of it as a straight line. You're not taking any detours. You're not taking the scenic route in the conversation. You are getting there as fast as you can, most efficiently as you can. Yes, it's not artful. Yes, it's not some fancy sounding, very flowery language.
It's just getting right to the point of exactly what you need to say. So that's what direct is. What does direct sound like? Direct sounds like your words sticking, not stretching. not expanding. So think of it like in the Olympics, right? They have in gymnastics in the summer Olympics and these gymnasts who are amazing do these amazing things in the air and then what's the goal here?
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Chapter 2: What does it mean to be direct in communication?
I'm so glad you asked. So here's how to do it. Number one, state the issue. In one sentence, in one sentence. For example, there's been a charge on my account. This product was not delivered. This is the problem. So if you have a, if you have a problem, if you have a hard time describing what the issue is, just finish the sentence, this is my problem, blank. Blank is my problem.
Be very, very clear on exactly what the issue is. Number two, you have to state the impact. What has been the impact to you? There's a charge on my account. It cost me $75. This is late. I am not able to do this. State the impact, the harm, the consequence. It's very similar to kind of like in legal things. You have to write a petition, state a petition.
And in a petition, which is a written document, you state the issue, you state the harm, and well, who's responsible for it? Same kind of principle. You're having to state why they are responsible. So first, you have the issue. Second, you have the impact. And third, you state the remedy, what you're wanting them to do. I've had a charge on my account. It's $75. I want this money back.
I need a refund. I want to exchange this. I need to X. Be explicit as possible, specific as possible. This is where you get to say, that doesn't work for me. Nope, I don't agree with that. Like for some people, that is really hard to do. They have a hard time pushing against that. It's an uncomfortable feeling. You get to train that. It is a learned skill. Believe me, it is a learned skill.
You can do this. Three separate boxes here. You're gonna state what the problem is, two, state the impact, and three, state the resolution. What are you asking for? What are you needing them to do? You can apply this at home, at work, anytime when you get to say, here is my problem. Here's the impact to me. Here's what I'm asking you to do. Here's how you can fix it.
Here's the fix that I've come up with. Don't do it to where you just state the problem and go, I leave it up to you. Find the solution. Ask exactly for the solution that you want. Now, if you say, I want a refund and customer service says, I'm sorry, sir, we can't do this. You said, that's not acceptable. Then what are my other options? Ask, what are my other options?
Is there a way that I can escalate this? What is a solution that is available to me? How can I escalate this? They all have a procedure in their book of what to do, when, and yeah, maybe you do hit a dead end, but you can at least rest assured that you've been direct about it and stating what you want. No, you're not gonna use that company again.
You know you're gonna cut off the relationship with that because they're not giving you what you want. Same thing with everyday human relationships and romantic relationships or dating relationships. If you are not being direct and stating what you want, you are setting yourself up for failure.
This kind of reminds me of this quote that I heard and it's something to the tune of the single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place, right?
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Chapter 3: How can customer service interactions improve direct communication skills?
We'll have a new client, potential client who calls and they talk to the receptionist and they go, okay, so the other day, like three months ago, I had this guy and he did this and they start saying,
all of the tea all this context that's been in their mind and it's all story and it's convoluted and they're like no way and so this guy and they start dropping names and then they're like well he did this and then actually you know what wait let me back up what he did was that
is maddening all right i understand that it usually comes from insecurity or fear and it's it's the fear of that you're not giving enough information totally valid what the other person hears and what the other person is doing is trying to distill like okay what's what's relevant what's not relevant what's the issue what's not the issue and it's it's like playing um
like an I spy book game, like a where's Waldo, like you're searching for the things that go, that's the issue right there. But not everybody does that. They're not gonna just try to find the issues for you in that type of capacity. Instead, they're gonna be just as lost. So what are they gonna do? They're gonna say what they want, because they don't really know what you're asking for.
So you start with a story, I can promise you, you're going to end up being disappointed when it comes to being direct. Unless, I'd say unless, there was a reason why the story is important and that would come on the back end. So instead I would say, here's my issue. Here's the impact to me. Here's how I want you to fix it.
And they're going to give a response and you say, I'm going to give you more information because you need to know this, right? That's when you're able to give the additional information, but you don't want to start with it because it sounds like you're trying to I don't know, run up, go up on an escalator that's going down. Like you're just going to be running in motion and not getting anywhere.
All right, we've talked about what being direct is. We've talked about what being direct sounds like, how you wanna stick the landing, how you wanna have short choppy sentences. In my world, what I like to teach is if you can't say it in three sentences, you need to think about it again. You need to condense, you need to reduce. So let me give that little tidbit to you.
I have a three sentence rule that I like to live by, both in my company and regular communication, if need be, and it's this. If I can't say it in three sentences, I need to go back and think about it. Now, the other people, if they're asking for information on something and they need context, absolutely, I'm going to give that.
But in terms of me initiating a message, if I cannot say it in three sentences, not run-on sentences, but actual grammatical sentences, then I need to go back to the drawing board. It's that quote about if... I would have written you a shorter letter if I had had more time. Like it takes effort to try and condense information down. And so when I can do that, that's me being direct.
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