Finance Expert: How You Talk About Money Matters Ft. Vivian Tu
episodePreviously titled “Money Conversations Everyone Should Be Having Ft. Vivian Tu” — renamed by the publisher on Sep 11, 2026
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Why do people at the bottom say “we can’t afford it” while the wealthy say “it’s not in the budget”?
Is there a difference in how the top talk about money versus how the bottom talk about money?
People who are at the bottom will say we can't afford that. People at the top will say it's not currently in the budget. It's the exact same thing. And unfortunately, for a very long time, we have equated your value as a human being with your net worth. So when you have debt, we consider it a moral failure. We think you're a bad person. So I get this job at JP Morgan. I was very literally only sitting next to rich people. And I hate to say it, they're doing it better than us. Because when they talk about money, they have more to compare. They're trading secrets.
At what point in a dating relationship should you bring up money?
Soon as possible, baby. Easing into the money conversation is always the best way to do it. How
do you ease into it?
Yeah, you and I are on a dinner date and I say, If a million dollars dropped into your lap, what would you do? Would you still be an attorney?
Yes.
That tells me you likely aren't motivated by the money you're making as an attorney and that you actually really enjoy your job.
I've seen a lot of things in the news about good hardworking employees being laid off. At this point in time, should we be asking for raises or should we just be thankful that we have jobs?
Loyalty to your company. Let me be very clear.
Why is it that talking about money seems to be harder than talking about Everything. Yes. Yeah.
Um, because we've been conditioned that way, right? Um, so here's the story. You're we're sitting around the family table, little Johnny goes, Mom, Dad, like, how much is our house worth? You're like, Johnny, please don't ask that. That's so rude.
Okay.
F Flash forward a couple of years. Little Johnny's like, Hey dad, how much do you make? The kids at school were talking about how much their dads make.
Mm-hmm.
And dad's like, Little Johnny, don't ask that. That's so rude. Okay. Then suddenly little Johnny's eighteen, signs a six figure student loan contract. Little Johnny is now twenty-one, needs a credit score to rent his first apartment. doesn't know how to fill out his tax return at the end of the year or in April. Little Johnny has no idea how to negotiate for his salary at his job. Little Johnny has no idea how to budget. Little Johnny has no idea that he should be saving, doesn't really understand how the credit card works, but they'll give him one. They'll give him one for sure. And little Johnny's not investing because he's never even heard his parents talking about MST. If we talked about the Money, the same way we talk about literally anything else.
At the dinner table. We would be able to talk about money. Think about it. Your parents talked about Their political affiliations, which is typically a taboo topic at the dinner table, I remember, because kids were coming to school and parroting what their parents were saying. Your parents talk about pop culture. Like I have 1000% sat down and talked to my mom and dad about movies coming out or music that I'm listening to, things like that. Great. Yeah. You've talked about sports. You've talked about religion. Like my husband grew up in a Catholic family. He went to a Catholic high school. They talked about religion, certainly. And you know We talk about all of these quote unquote hot button taboo topics. Think of the last time your parent sat down and said, Hey, we need to talk about how much you're probably going to inherit.
Right.
Never.
Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
It is crazy. I I definitely agree with that there's some aspect of it that is conditioned because it is the one thing we don't talk about. Truly, Vivian. I mean, I've never really talked to my own parents about you know, what they make and my whole life. I just was it wasn't it wasn't a thing. And I don't know also uh also if it's a cultural thing. I don't know if it's the same in the US as it as or even within, let's say, northern states, southern states, west coast, east coast or in different cultures, but I do feel like Absolutely correct that there's a part of it that's conditioned.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do people at the bottom say “we can’t afford it” while the wealthy say “it’s not in the budget”?
0:00–5:43
2
How does early family conditioning shape our money habits and attitudes?
5:43–12:30
3
When is the right time to bring up money in a dating relationship?
12:30–18:15
4
What did Vivian learn about money language while working at JP Morgan?
18:15–24:12
5
How do the rich talk about money differently than the rest of us?
24:12–29:00
6
How can couples decide who pays for dates, bills, and big expenses?
29:00–35:17
7
What are effective ways to teach kids about budgeting and financial trade‑offs?
35:17–40:20
8
What is Vivian’s financial‑wellness app and how can it help listeners?
40:20–47:10