Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night! All day!
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers. See ya, bro. You too, you too. And we're up.
What the fuck is happening, Tony?
Yeah, yeah. Great to be here, man.
My man.
Made it back. Made it back. Last time I saw you, I don't know, my eyes might have been a little crossed. Well, last time I saw you was last night. Right. And the night before last night. That's true.
That's true. We'd start with that, then. But the last time we saw each other on a podcast, things went a little westward. We got a little intoxicated.
So absolutely. So, you know, the whiskey kept pouring. The whiskey kept pouring. And that was when I had that van. So I still have the van. But at the time, I was kind of living in the van, traveling in the van.
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Chapter 2: How does Tom Green's experience with alcohol impact his podcast?
And it's the next day. And I'm just like, oh, shit. What happened on the show? So, you know, I think maybe the last half hour of the show was such a blur. I don't really quite remember getting in the van. But I had a nice sleep in the parking lot. It was amazing. And then I kind of was a little nervous about, like, jeez, what? That's a weird feeling when you... Don't know what you said.
Don't know what you said. Yeah. And I called my mom. And everybody seemed, you know, like it was people thought it was funny. But I mean, I think she was a little concerned about the drinking, the amount of drinking. But no, that was a great time. But I'm not. It was fun. Yeah, it was a great time.
It was fun. So we got a little off the rails.
Yeah.
You didn't have to go anywhere. No. Your van was parked. It was awesome. It was awesome. What is it like sleeping in parking lots? That's got to be an odd thing.
Well, I rarely did that in the van. It was mostly out in these remote desert parks, like out in Bureau of Land Management land, BLM land in the desert. Yeah. And I was going around filming and- And so I wasn't, but there was a couple of times I'd sleep in a truck stop because I was wanting to make a lot of distance. So I'd drive until I kind of couldn't keep my eyes open.
Then I'd pull over at a truck stop and sleep between.
Sketchy proposition, right? You don't know who's around.
Yeah. Well, in the desert, it's a little more nerve-wracking because you're all alone out there. And people can see the van in the distance, and it's a pretty nice van. That's when the aliens come, too. Uh-huh, yeah. You're all alone. I was hoping for that. Nothing? No aliens. I had a nice flyover from... you know, U.S.
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Chapter 3: What insights does Tom Green share about owning a mule?
Yeah, pre-internet. Yeah, yeah. This was high school.
So how were you finding out about all this stuff back then?
Well, that was, you know, friends at school were listening to rap music. So friends at school were like, hey, you got to check out Public Enemy. You got to check out Boogie Down Productions. I'm like, Boogie Down Productions? Then someone would give you a cassette of, like, the criminal-minded...
Boogie Down Productions Bridges Over album and you're listening to it and they're rapping about Scott LaRock, their DJ who'd been, you know, unfortunately, you know, passed away in bad circumstances. He was shot and killed. And then you're listening to this sort of, that was the internet to me, you know, was rap music and skateboarding. Thrasher magazine was skateboarding.
You'd read stories about skateboarders in California in a magazine. You'd listen to rap music and hear stories about You know, people who are not in Ottawa, you know, doing cool shit. And I was kind of wanting to get up on stage and perform. I was kind of dabbling with stand-up at Yuck Yucks in the comedy club in Ottawa. And so... When you say dabbling? Well, I was doing stand-up.
I was doing stand-up, but I never really got to... really you know a level where I was kind of I was doing it every week I was going down every week for a couple of years and actually the reason I stopped was because the rap group got kind of sort of a record deal basically and I kind of went focused on that for a while and stopped doing stand up but
Yeah, the club in Ottawa, Yuck Yucks in Ottawa, still there. It's moved, but it's owned by Howard Wagman. Yuck Yucks is kind of like the improv of Canada. It's chained all across the country. Mark Breslin, I'm sure you know Mark. He started it. It was wild because, I don't know, it was something about the 80s, the 90s, before the internet, right?
You'd go down to a comedy club and you'd find out about stuff just through word of mouth, like the rap music and like comedy. So I would go down to the comedy club and I remember Norm MacDonald would come through and he was probably 25 years old, right? And I'm 16 in the audience. And then I got to become this huge fan of Norm. And he was... Norm.
But back then, there wasn't a lot of people doing stand-up like Norm. There wasn't this sort of angle of sort of this absurdity to it, this sort of... It was more of a structured, down-the-middle way of doing stand-up back then. And so Norm was this sort of... It was a curveball. Yeah, just sort of curveball, and we just couldn't get enough of it. So every time we was in town, we'd be down there.
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Chapter 4: What humorous pancake story does Tom Green share?
Oh, yeah.
Up to 20. Up to 20. Okay. 20. So if I'm having pancakes, I'm having 120 at least. I'm pouring a bunch of maple syrup on that shit. Six ounces? Yeah, easy. Easy six ounces. Like a glass of it. I'm getting in between the stack. Pouring a little in there.
It's just a nice little boost, a little energy boost, you know?
Chapter 5: How does Tom's farming experience impact his lifestyle?
It's for like five minutes. Then you're in a coma for the rest of the day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely, yeah.
But I guess if you're out there on your farm fucking throwing hay around all day, exhausted, right?
I did this summer in August. I have some fields with hay. We cut the fields. And I have some local farmers that help me cut the fields to square bales.
So you're really farming. Yeah. Farming for real, for real.
Farming hay for my animals. Yeah. I had 580 bales of hay off the property this year. Wow. And we had to lift it all, carry it all onto a hay wagon. See, because... I'm going to try to figure out a way to do it a little differently next year. But normally, the farmers that have done my property for years, they've been doing it with these big circle round bales.
But I wanted to get square bales this year because it's easier to handle for the horses, the mules and the donkey every day. So every day I go to the barn, I pick up a bale, feed about a bale and a half of hay a day. It's cool because like from May, June till about the end of September, you don't even have to feed them.
They're just out in the pasture eating grass, which I often think about, you know, when you think about vegetarians and you go, how do you put on, you know, muscle with just ā and you can look at this giant animal. All it's doing is eating grass all day and they're massive. But ā
But yeah, so I've got to figure out a better way to get it in the barn this year because some of my friends- They have to eat it all day long.
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Chapter 6: What serious injury did Tom Green sustain while on vacation?
But vegans always like to make that comparison. Like the gorillas, they eat nothing but vegetables. They have a totally different body. That's true. They are also not humans. Yeah, they're not human beings. It doesn't mean if you ate what a fucking horse eats, you'd look like a horse, you dumbass. You're not a horse. And also, do you know how annoying that would be to have to eat grass all day?
It doesn't sound like a blast. Not a lot of variety there. I think about that. I have cookies for them. I have a vitamin mix that I give them every day. Is variation to their diet good, though? For some animals, when you- You got to, for instance, apples. I have apple trees at the property. That's one of the places she loves to walk towards the apple tree. There's apples on the ground.
You can feel her pulling towards the apple tree. But you don't want her to eat a bunch of apples because that can create acid in their stomach and they can get sick from that.
Yeah, I was wondering that. What happens to them in the wild, though, if they find a bunch of apples?
Yeah, it's interesting. I'm not sure. Are they fucked up? I'm not sure if they ā I don't know the answer to that. But maybe they kind of somehow self-regulate when they're left to their own. But, you know, you can feed them carrots.
And one thing, I haven't done this yet, but I understand that they really like, I was just told, because I'm actually thinking, what kind of variety can I give the ladies, you know? So they really like a frozen watermelon to be tossed into there. Oh, no kidding.
Bears like that, too. Oh, yeah? Yeah. We went to a grizzly bear... I guess it's just like a conservation center where they have these enormous places. It's in Montana. They're like captive, but it's really an enormous construction thing.
and the bears have like swimming pools and shit, and they would roll them out, these frozen watermelons, and watch them bite through a frozen watermelon will scare the living fuck out of you. Because they go through it like it's nothing.
A grizzly does that. I've seen hippopotamus do it on YouTube, but a grizzly does that too.
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Chapter 7: What are the dangers of ice fishing and how can you stay safe?
Now, people make mistakes all the time. They go, they wait too long and it's the spring and they drive their truck out on it and it goes through the ice. But if you're, you know, if you're...
properly advised by people that know what they're doing don't you know like like the people you know that some of my friends out there do a lot of ice fishing you know they tell you okay the other thing you can do is like when i was playing hockey on the lake this year you just just stay close to the shore so you go okay well if i fall through it's only two feet deep or three feet deep here so you know you won't actually be sucked away under the under the under the ice but walking across in the middle yeah you have a little bit more dangerous out in the middle there
I'm sure you've seen the video of the Russian woman who jumps into the river. Oh, yeah. It's so horrible. Oh, my gosh, yeah. They cut a hole in the ice, and she doesn't realize it's a raging river underneath it, and she just gets sucked under.
And I heard that just happened recently in the States, too. A woman's dog or something went in, and she dove in after.
Oh, God. God damn it. That's fucking terrifying.
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Chapter 8: What experiences does Tom share about his time in the wilderness?
The idea of being trapped under the ice.
There's another one of a guy who's trying to ā they cut two holes and they try to swim from one to the other and the ice is clear and you see him under there. You see him get disoriented and then you see him trying to find his way back to the other hole.
And then he does eventually find his way but there's this sort of moment of panic where his friends are up on top and they're banging on the ice and they're trying to say, no, no, this way, this way. You see him ā You can see his body panicking. You know, you can see him like sort of feeling.
And when you panic, you lose oxygen. You know, your body, your heart rate goes up. It's like not good. Not easy to keep. There's the guy. There it is right there. I don't want to see this, man. I don't want to see this. Stop it, Jamie.
I remember the first time I saw the concept of falling through the ice in the winter was that. Remember that movie Never Cry Wolf? You ever seen that movie? That was a good movie. Look at this. Yeah, and this is real. They're trying to say, this way, this way, and then he goes back, all the way back. He goes all the way back. Yeah. Oh, the music even makes it.
What is he doing? Yeah, they had a rope.
He found the rope.
Is he going to make it?
Yeah, he ends up making it, but yeah, there you go. So I think you want a cold plunge in the lake closer to shore. Bro, fuck what that is.
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