Theo Von is a stand-up comic and podcaster. He is the host of "This Past Weekend with Theo Von." www.theovon.com This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Get working on a better you with therapy. Visit BetterHelp.com/JRE today to get 10% off your first month. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using dkng.co/rogan or through my promo code ROGAN. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT) or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD).21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What does Theo Von think about aging rock stars?
From ACDC. Going ham. Old fucking dude, white hair, just dancing. See if you can find that video. Just dancing around on stage. Carl is still up. He's like, Dad, you didn't even put me down yet. It takes three minutes to calm him? You got a whole system? It's usually three or four minutes, and then by for sure seven or eight, he's asleep. Do they have a weighted blanket or not for him?
I don't think they do that for dogs. He doesn't have that much anxiety. He's pretty big. Does that really work with people? I feel like there's other ways.
There's that one video of that really kind of weak kid who gets trapped under one or whatever. Have you ever seen that? Oh, no. At that birthday party. How big is the blanket? I mean, I guess it's like 80-pound test or whatever. I don't know how heavy the threat is. Like a Marlin blanket?
A Marlin line? I mean, I don't know how heavy the thread was, but it's like, he's like trying to text for help or whatever. Jesus Christ. Oh, so it's just a joke. No, no. It has to be a joke. For real? No, he was really trapped?
Chapter 2: How can therapy help improve your life?
Yeah, it looked like he was very much trapped under there. Oh, man. He was very, I don't want to say malnourished or unnourished. You know, he just didn't like to eat or whatever. One of those kids that only eats nuggets or whatever. Oh, well, nuggets are better than just chips. At least nuggets are some kind of protein. Yeah.
I mean, some kind of. What do you think Bobby Kennedy's going to do when he gets into the White House? Did we start? I think we're starting. Are we rolling? I've been going. Yeah, we're rolling. Okay. You think they're going to get rid of nuggets? See, here's my take on it. I was just reading this whole thing about Chick-fil-A, and they were saying, this is the most dangerous food in America.
The number one burger, Chick-fil-A is like the number one fast food sandwich, chicken sandwich, and there's a fucking thousand ingredients. Yeah, just don't eat it every day, stupid. Yeah. I eat them. I'm healthy. I'm real healthy. You just don't eat them every fucking day. You enjoy them. Yeah, you don't. That's not your primary diet.
Yeah, if you're going over there every day or whatever, leaving your kids at home to go get one or something, if you're lying. You're just fiending for Chick-fil-A all day. Well, they're so good, and they come in that little bag. It almost has that. They come in the unmarked bag, you know? This is a paid advertisement for BetterHelp.
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The key is just don't make that most of what you eat. Yeah. Every now and again, a little Chick-fil-A is not going to hurt nothing. Yeah. Treat your lady. Treat your friend. Treat yourself. Treat yourself. Get off of work. I'm going to have one today. I'm going to get me a double-double from In-N-Out. Fuck it.
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Chapter 3: What are the pros and cons of fast food?
Oh.
Oh, I love that. That's like an old-school New York steakhouse thing. Like a burrata-style thing, you mean? Oh, that's good, too. If you go burrata, you're great. Oh, burrata and the tomatoes, you can't go wrong. But the onions and tomatoes. Tomato and onion salad was like a steakhouse thing. I never really saw it anywhere else.
But, like, tomato and onion salad was, like, a big thing in, like, New York steakhouses. Yeah, baby, that sounds good. I like having, I like when you get, there's a Vidalia onion. You ever seen that one? No. That's a beautiful onion. Bring one up if you don't mind, Jamie. But let's guess, though, because I genuinely have no idea. Okay. Do you think there's any nutritional content in onions?
Let me think about it. Let me think about it while I'm eating one.
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Well, now you know. Switch today at visible.com slash rogan. Terms apply. See visible.com for network management details. I don't know. There might be some sneaky shit that only Andrew Huberman can tell you about. Some weird ingredient. Like a back-end magnesium or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some weird... Some weird shit.
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Chapter 4: How did boxing evolve in Mexican culture?
There is a lot of nutritional value. I have it on the next tab. That's what I want to know. Impressive health benefits of onions. Oh, okay. Now I feel better for liking onions. Tell me, what can they do for you? Vitamin C.
easy we should have known it let's see look at all that there's a little sugar interesting 4.7 grams of sugar in an onion imagine how nasty it would take without that sugar how nasty would onions taste if they taste that good with that much sugar and just say just god put a touch in there he knew it has anybody ever had onion sliced onions with sugar all over it
Mmm, I don't know. Because you would think it would bring the sugar out even more. Right? You know what I had the other day that was really good? Watermelon with salt on it. You ever have that? No, I haven't had that. Dude, it's... Like, it's you either love it or you... What the fuck have you done to watermelon? Oh, I could see that. I love it. Mexican people like to put... Crazy shit on fruit.
Chili mango, man. That's a big one in Mexico. You like this fruit, and they're like, now you'd like it or what, motherfucker? That's spicy fruit. Yeah, they get crazy, dude. But chili mango works uniquely. Like, out of all spicy fruits, that's the one that caught on so much it made it to potato chips. Chili mango? Yeah, chili mango's in everything. I haven't had that.
Oh, dude, I drink chili mango element. You know what element is? Like the hydration mix. Uh-uh. It's nice. I like hydration, though. That's Rob Wolf's company, right?
I believe so. Dude, why is there so much hydration now? And also, dude, thank you. I just want to say thank you to Mexican people just for doing everything that they do, dude. I feel like every week we should have a round of applause for Mexican people, I feel like, in America. Yeah.
Well, it's weird to want to keep them out. They have some of the best food. They're the nicest people. They're some of the hardest working people. And they're organ donors too, a lot of them.
Well, that's awesome. One of the dumbest stereotypes ever was the lazy Mexican. What are you talking about? Everyone I've ever met has fucking three jobs. They're all working 12 hours a day. What the fuck are you talking about? Dude, I knew a Mexican guy. He had to leave work to go to his job. Bro. It never ends, dude.
Mexicans used to have a feud with Puerto Ricans back in the day with boxing. In boxing, there was always this feud between Mexicans and Puerto Ricans. And the Mexicans would always say that the Puerto Ricans didn't work hard enough. What? Like the discipline. Some of the Puerto Rican guys were maybe more talented, but the Mexican guys were known for discipline.
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Chapter 5: What insights do we have on the role of social media in shaping opinions?
I know. Dude, that has to be RFK's arch nemesis right there. Imagine if you were living off those eggs, the farts you would have if that's your only food source. Let's imagine you're stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean with only bottled eggs. Bro, after a while, your own farts are going to make you jump in the ocean. You're like, I can't even be around myself.
But there's a lot of like, there's that trucker's high that they get from huffing their own gas. There's like a syndrome or something that starts from it. From people, just imagine, that can't be good for you, right? Caging yourself up at 80 miles an hour with your own farts? And just cruising state to state, just fucking...
letting it go baby and the combination of things ring dings and pork rinds and fucking pepsi saying the saying fag over and over again just all of that just compiled at once into you and then listen to conspiracy theorists talk on podcasts all day Just deep into the murky waters of Alex Jones. Just hopped up. I've been on social media a little too much lately. Yeah?
Yeah. I've been reading too many people fighting and arguing about stupid shit to the point where I'm starting to develop theories. And I don't want to. Like, what do you, well, I saw Alex Jones and he looks really good, doesn't he? Yeah, he's losing all weight. He looks like he has to go to court for something. No, Sean, our friend Sean is helping him. He's working out with him every day. Yeah.
Bro, I noticed it like in a month. I just saw like, and I was like, oh my God. Yeah, he's really committed. He's going to do a documentary on it. He's going to do a documentary on taking back my health. It's so noticeable. I was like, wow, he looks handsome.
But this is fucking theories and it's not even him. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's theories that they replaced him with a different guy. Who did, though?
That's always the thing. That's the thing. But here's the thing. I know that's not true. I know the guy who's training him. I know him. I'm still in touch with him. I text Alex all the time. I know him. He's just losing weight. But if you go online, there's a lot of people that believe that this is a different person. Because a lot of people believe he's been co-opted by the government.
He has to chime in on every single thing that everybody wants him to. Otherwise, he's been co-opted. And I'm starting to develop these theories where I don't know how much of that conversation is real. I certainly think there's a percentage of that conversation is real. What conversation you mean?
When people think that people have been co-opted by the government, like that they've become, what is that one they like to use? Controlled opposition. If you want to pretend to be a smart conspiracy theorist, you have to say controlled opposition. I could easily see, bro, in two weeks, Tom Segura will be playing this guy.
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Chapter 6: How are modern celebrities influencing politics?
I think you should be allowed to do that. Yes, I think you should too. This is one of the problems with making the internet, you know, like taking away the anonymity. But here's my question. Mm-hmm. Because of that, right? So if people can just have fake accounts and people should be able to, which I think they definitely should be able to do.
Because of that, though, then you have to wonder when you see arguments, how many of these arguments are real people and they're real opinions? And how many of these arguments are... are this giant block of accounts that's been purchased by a large organization that is hiring people or using AI to have arguments with people and incite things online. It's not 0% people.
Now, I'm saying like if you have a personal belief in something like, no, they're not bogus because I think that way. I'm not saying that you don't believe what you believe. And I'm not even saying that you're wrong. I'm saying that if there's any hot button cultural topic. You can fucking guarantee that some of the people talking about it aren't real.
Either they're not real in that these are not their real opinions, they're being told to say these things, or they might not even be a real human. They might be an algorithm, or they're a bunch of people that have been hired. Whenever there's hot-button cultural issues or voting issues or political issues, a lot of those people arguing are not real. Yeah.
And there's a real question as to what the number are, like how much of this is like real interaction between people and how much of this is all of this meddling. that's being done, like they're changing the way people think about things and forcing and arguing with these things all day, very persuasively on behalf of some sort of special interest group.
Yeah, I think that sounds very plausible, especially these days, there's like, there's not as much, you know, it used to be that a lot of media was controlled by a few channels and networks, right? I mean, that's safe to say. Would you agree with that? It was all controlled by a few channels. Right. I mean, all you had when we were kids, I remember when cable came out. It was crazy. Really? Yeah.
What was before that? You had ABC, NBC, CBS. That's it. No. Yes, that's it. And then out of nowhere, Fox. Fox was crazy. Married with children. The Simpsons. Fox was nuts. Fox was this wild network. Yeah, Fox. That was the fourth network. Marriott Children was so good, dude.
So good. So you have this fourth network, and then cable comes along, and then satellite, and now streaming and the internet. It's like, what? I don't even think we're aware of how much more content we absorb than people that lived when I was 21. Oh, yeah. Playoffs. Playoffs. We're talking about playoffs? You bet we are.
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Chapter 7: What is the impact of environmental factors on health?
And they're like giant changes in human testosterone levels just from the 1970s. Giant changes. Oh, yeah, dude. So I think if you're on that path and you're clearly on that path, we are as a human race, we're clearly on that path. Fast. Fast. And we're also at the same time on the path of artificial intelligence. It's like how much time do we really have? How much time do we really have here?
What if this, though? What if a trans kid – how many trans people are there? They're all trans now. Everybody. Right. The whole country is trans. I think they've backed off a lot of people have decided that they really didn't want to do it anymore. Yeah. Yeah. There's quite a few, and people get mad at them, which is really wild. People get mad at them for changing their mind.
Have you interviewed anybody that has gone down the surgery path and didn't want to have the surgery? Have you ever talked to somebody like that? No. Just curious what that world is like.
Everybody's got their own weird thing with that because it's a weird thing. You don't like your sexual organs that you're born with. You identify with another gender, or at least you think you do. At least you identify with what they like more than what the boys like. You're probably just gay. Right.
And that's one of the things that they've studied is when they leave transgender or supposedly transgender youths and they don't do anything, they eventually become gay men. Oh, I see. It's a big, big percentage of them. Yeah. Does that mean they're all like that? And some people don't like genuinely have like true gender dysphoria? No.
That's always been a thing too. And being gay used to seem like if you were just gay, that was everything. It was like, it was like, but I guess... It was like gay didn't – it was like, oh, if you were trans or any – now it's LGBTQI, right? Oh, there's also – yeah, there's intersex. Plus. Two. Plus. Right. What is plus? Huh? I don't know. I know two is two-spirit, which is my favorite.
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Chapter 8: How does societal perception of gender identity change over time?
Really? I know I'm going to need – Two-spirit. They took the kooky two-spirit people and – The Native Americans? No. Two-Spirit is like a very specific – like let's Google it. Two-Spirit is like you think you're like Foxkin or some shit like that. Oh, yeah, yeah.
This is where I found out that – I might be fucking up what Two-Spirit is. But this is where I found out about this stuff because a buddy of mine who lives in Utah, his wife worked at a public school. And he told me that she told him that they were having a meeting because one of the parents had proposed putting a litter box in the bathroom because the kid thinks it's a cat. Oh, that's crazy.
And he told me that. I talked about it on podcast. And people started saying that that was transphobic. And this is a transphobic lie. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So it wasn't a real story you mean? First of all, what does that have to do with transgender? What does that have to do with that? You're talking about someone who thinks they're a cat. How is that transphobic?
And then I realized, oh, there's a lot of things connected in this one group that are not the same thing. They're just trying to lump in every idea. Say if you only have like... You know, the electoral college, you get like a couple points in this state. But if you win like 10 fucking states, you got a big coalition you can get in the White House. You know?
So it's like if you can't just transgender people on their own, too many people are like, no, you can't go into the women's room. Get out of here. But then you add them to the gays. Oh, I see. You add them to the queers, which is like, what does that mean? You know? And then if you're... And you're more of a buffet of folks. What is that? Are you... Okay. Two-spirit people.
Maybe straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, or queer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. They're the people that want to pretend the most. I'm everything. I'm a boy. I'm a girl. I'm straight. You're a fucking narcissist, probably. You're probably a loon. Or maybe you really have this two-spirit thing. I don't know. But there's a variety of things that are true at the same time.
You're going to have people that are kooky, and you're also going to have people that unfortunately really do wish they were born a girl. Both those things are real.
But the thing about us as a species, if you're looking at these drops that are all clearly established markers in terms of testosterone levels, miscarriages, men who are incapable of having children, low sperm counts, smaller testicles and penises, we're moving in a direction of looking like those fucking aliens.
Well, that's what I've said this for years. If you look at an alien, their head is big, because that's the only thing that's going still, and their body is this useless sort of fucking Christmas ornament. Spindly, genderless thing. Genderless, like no tits? That's stuck under a weighted blanket. You want to stop an alien, throw one weighted blanket on that bad boy.
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