Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
A lot of people have lights on their tables now to light up their face to make them look more pretty. Really? Yeah, they have a slight opening in the table and then a light that gets on you so you don't see the shadows in your face so you don't look shitty. Isn't that what you do with a scary story? You put a flashlight under your chin? Yeah, but they're not trying to do that.
They're trying to balance it out so you look flat. That's crazy. You look like what you look like.
Chapter 2: How do lighting techniques affect appearance in video?
Yeah, you got to give up after a while. The weirdest shit is men who use filters when they take pictures. That's insane. There's comedian men that use filters.
Really?
Yes. It's very odd. How do you know? How do you tell? You know what they really look like.
Yeah, duh.
And then you see them and they look like a cartoon. Netflix does that with the pictures that they use when they promote your special, like the picture of you. They'll put that bitch through a filter. That makes sense. And you look so pretty. If people see you after the show, you're like, you look horrible. I didn't know you looked so bad. You look so old. Thanks, man. I am so old. I'm almost 60.
Dang. I know. It's crazy. I'm 58. I'm 40. I just turned 40.
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of using filters in photography?
Those are real numbers. Yeah, I know. As soon as I had kids, I aged immediately. You would have thought I literally gave birth. Yeah, well, it's the lack of sleep. Yeah, that's what got me. You know what's really good for that? Creatine. I've been taking it. Yeah, creatine, they say 20 grams a day.
Start with five and work your way up to 20 and check to see how your butthole holds up because the seal might be loose. I've ran this experiment. 20 gets my guts going, man. Bro, it does. It does. I don't do 20 in a dose. I do 10 in the morning and 10 at night because I was doing 20 in a dose and it was just like, everybody out of the pool. I'm also not convinced diarrhea is bad for you.
I swear to God, like not shitting for sure, but diarrhea is just like, let's speed this up. Well, isn't that what, is that consumption? What is the disease where you can't stop having diarrhea? Dysentery. Dysentery, that's it. Shit. All right. Well, if you can't stop having it, sure. Well, that's like you can't digest food. It just goes right through you and just shit. Constantly.
Now you shit starve? Yeah. That sucks, actually. Yeah. That sucks. Not good. Once a week, though. That's fine. You know what I used to do? I used to drink kale smoothies in the morning. That was the first thing that I would do. I would throw kale and garlic and, like, apples and shit in a blender, and that's what I would drink first thing in the morning. Yeah.
And, boy, that is just, like, that clears the pathway. That's like, you know when you clear your rain gutters of leaves? Yeah. You get a hose on that bitch and you just fucking blow him off the top. That's what it's like. Yeah, I've done the green drink before. It does get you. I was vegan for like a month. And that was like the biggest dumps. But I actually got hemorrhoids from being vegan.
Oh, because on the toilet too much? It was just that the turds were so big. I was getting like blown out. I got hemorrhoids from being vegan. Was it taking too long to poop? No. Or was it just like, it was just spectacular? It was spectacular. There were massive bull winders. It was like twice a day. I was like an adult entertainer. I was like my body just gave out. Adult entertainer.
Well, when you think about it, it's all that fiber that your body doesn't process. But they say that that's what's good for keeping you clean. The fiber pushes everything out. I'm back on the fiber train now. I was all about protein now. I'm like, yeah, I need my fiber now. It's hard to know who's right because the carnivore people are like, you don't need fiber. There's no need for fiber.
But then there's evidence that fiber is good for you. Isn't that what your whole microbiome needs to make the germs or whatever that are good for your brain? I don't know. I get confused as well. My balance is I eat a lot of kimchi. I really like kimchi. That's a move. I eat that stuff all the time. Kimchi and I eat sauerkraut. That stuff's legit.
Yeah, I know that stuff's supposed to be good for you. But yeah, I tried the carnivore and it was like... I first five days I felt cool. And then like after I think I made it to 17 days, I was like, dude, if I just ate and some vegetables with this, I'd be the healthiest guy in the world because it was just like I stopped pooping. I was like, this can't be good for me.
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Chapter 4: What role does failure play in a comedian's growth?
And I always have in the past made big leaps after I bombed. I'm like, I think it's important. Like failure is important. It sucks. You don't like it, but you got to go through that. Like maybe you got overconfident or maybe you were in a bad mood or maybe it was like whatever. Yeah. No, it helps. That's what, like, motivates me to write stand-up.
If I bomb, I'm like, all right, now let me, like, dial it in.
Chapter 5: How does bombing on stage affect a comedian's writing process?
Because I have, like, I'm always doing a bunch of stuff. And, like, I'm like, oh, I got a show. And I, like, you know, organize kind of against the gun. But, yeah, a bomb really is, like, a clarifying. It's good for you, honestly. Yes. It's good to have a bomb. Well, I used to say that to fighters, too. You lose a fight, it's good, as long as you don't get really hurt.
It's good because you like that feeling.
Chapter 6: What insights do comedians have about performing in front of family?
Go home with that feeling and think about all the stones that you left unturned, all the times we skipped road work, all the times we skipped strength and conditioning, all the times you're half-assing it in the gym. That guy didn't do that. He just beat you. Now you know. You have to understand that there's levels to dedication, there's levels to competency, and a good loss is good for you.
Yeah, it kind of, like, you know, again, if you have your tried and true and you're just going on stage, oh, it's working night after night, you just go home and you're like, oh, whatever. But, yeah, when you bomb it, like, for me, it does something in my brain where my thoughts start flying. You know, whatever that is just helps me get stuff out there.
Well, when I lived in Boston, one of the things that was a real problem was there was these local headliners that had these fucking acts, man. They had 45 minutes of, like— hammered samurai sword it was so good because they had been doing that 45 minutes for a decade and a half that's crazy dude it was so good their timing was so good the pacing was so good they would crush every night
But after a while, they never added anything new to it. And these guys just, like, a buddy of mine went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from, like, Fitzsimmons. Went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from the 80s. And he goes, dude, he was doing the same material. He goes, it was so sad. He goes, he was just phoning it in. It was barely getting a response from the audience.
It was, like, dated references. Because this guy just had an act. And, like, a fucking guy who shows up at the office, he would... open up a suitcase, pull his act out. That was his act.
Those guys are always fascinating because when you're like, you know, I started in Philly and like, so like the only, the first like paid gigs you get as an open mic-er are like, you do like Moose Lodges and shit for like 50 bucks. And it's always one of those like wacko headliners. Who's been around for 30 years. He's doing it forever. He's giving you the career talk in between the show.
There's, like, I would get, like, comedy magicians all the time. Oh, yeah. And, dude, it was, like, yeah, those guys would always kind of freak me out. Like, I would open for guys that would talk about, like, floppy disks in, like, the 2000s. And I'm like, bro, what are you doing, man? Like, we don't even have CDs anymore. Floppy disks. This guy talked about porn on a floppy disk. On stage?
Dude, it was fucking Screech. R.I.P. It was Screech. Screech. R.I.P. I opened for Screech back in the day and I was like, fuck yes, this is going to be awesome. He was killing it in the comedy clubs. He was like one of the first people to go from being on a sitcom to touring on the road. Yeah, I call it late Screech though. Skippy. Remember Skippy from Family Matters? Was it Family Matters?
What was it from? What was the show? he was another guy who was uh he was on a sitcom was he on not step by step i don't remember but he was i remember the same thing the same thing he was became he like hollywood didn't work out for him and family ties family ties with michael j fox yeah Yeah, so that guy was headlining comedy clubs all over the place. This was like a bar in Delaware.
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Chapter 7: What potential UFO storage facility is mentioned in South Korea?
A giant building in South Korea is often cited as a potential UFO storage facility. Can you imagine if they just built it the shape of a UFO? That kind of looks like it, honestly. That's so crazy. Dude, do a square building. What's in that fucking building? I don't know. Imagine if that's real. Yeah, what is this? Why are they, why do they think this?
Well, I would imagine that place would have to be heavily guarded.
Yeah.
It was just a gate. Who's that guy? Eric Burleson insisted on the existence of aliens but admitted he has no definitive proof.
Chapter 8: What are the implications of a congressman's claims about UFOs?
Okay. I was talking to that video I showed you the other day who said he was going to go look at these places. He was going to go look in Korea? He mentioned he was going to go look at the underground one. He didn't say where it was. Oh, this is the congressman. A congressman's claim. So scroll down there a little lower. So here it is. U.S.
congressman has claimed classified facility housing a UFO is hiding in plain sight. Well, that's kind of hiding in plain sight. They literally made a little antenna on the top just like this sport model.
Look at this sport model.
It has that antenna on the top. I don't know what to believe, man, but I know I want to believe. 270 feet in diameter, holy shit. Yeah, that's fucking, that's insane. Yeah, especially now with all the deepfake stuff that's going to come out. Like, the next election will be in, like, deepfake territory. Everyone will be like, you were on the Epstein list. You were on it.
No, you were... I'm like, I'm just, you know... You could have people saying all kinds of things that they've never said. Or being like, I didn't do that. Hanging out with people that never hung out. I mean, there was all these photos that were fake of Epstein with a bunch of different people. Oh, yeah. No, there was a completely fake video people were sharing. Yeah.
It's like, you know, so I don't know. By that time, it's like... I've been trying to just pull back completely from like the news and I'm like, you know. Hey, what is the official story of the Colbert show where they had to air that Tallarico interview on YouTube? Because I'm hearing two versions. I'm hearing one version is that CBS wouldn't let them air it.
Because, like, Trump was involved and the government was involved somehow or another because they're worried about this Tallarico guy, this very charismatic guy in Texas that I really like. Very nice guy. I'm on the show. Brian Simpson told me about him.
And then the other thing that I'm hearing is, no, with FCC equal time rules, if he had Tallarico on, he would also have to have Tallarico's opponent, which is, I think, Jasmine Crockett. Is that true? I didn't even know whoever his opponent is. So I think there's rules like that for the FCC that don't exist for podcasts. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. They have to balance it. Yeah.
Like if you have this person on that's running for office, you also have to have someone that is opposing them. Okay. They have to have equal time. I didn't know they had that. Is that true? So he was on Colbert's show. Whose show was he on? Yeah, Stephen Colbert's show. And so they were framing it like it was the government was censoring this guy because they're worried.
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