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The Last Show with David Cooper

Tony Five: Clean While You Cook - January 6, 2026

07 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

7.81 - 8.236 Tony Five

I'm sorry.

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24.365 - 48.448 David Cooper

Welcome to The Last Show. I'm David Cooper. And in McDonald's-based news, we are joined by special foreign correspondent Tony Five in London, England, to discuss the arrival of the McRib and some surprises that customers aren't happy about. So much so that there's a major lawsuit that McDonald's is facing. Tony Five, welcome to the program. Hello. McHello, David. How are you, my friend?

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48.715 - 51.98 David Cooper

I am McDoingGreat. We're trying to get a McDonald's sponsorship here, clearly. I know.

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52 - 72.252 Tony Five

It would be wonderful if we could. I have never, ever, ever understood that whole popularity with the McRib. It's kind of a pop culture icon when it comes. It's always a limited release. And for those who don't know, it's a burger, and it's called the McRib, but they have, I think, a beef patty. It's a pork patty.

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72.272 - 73.293 David Cooper

It's a rib.

73.393 - 85.952 Tony Five

It's a pork rib, yeah. Covered in like barbecue sauce. But it's not really that. It's kind of gelatinous, I felt. I find it quite sickly. People do love it. It's in like a sub roll or whatever. But people go crazy for it.

Chapter 2: What controversy surrounds the McDonald's McRib meat lawsuit?

86.012 - 100.913 Tony Five

Oh my God, they should bring the McRib back. And I don't know whether it's kind of a joke in on itself, but people have like sort of sued McDonald's because it genuinely, people think they've been misled because it's not a genuine rib, a real pork rib.

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101.618 - 121.77 David Cooper

A 45-page lawsuit was filed at the end of last month in northern Illinois by a bunch of plaintiffs. And they're saying the McRib doesn't really have – let's just say the word allegedly because McDonald's legal counsel has deep pockets. But they're saying that it, like, doesn't have real rib in it. It's just random pork parts.

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121.75 - 141.042 Tony Five

Well, can I tell you what the constituents are and then you'll maybe rethink it. So it's a process combination of cuts such as the shoulder, the heart, tripe. I've no idea what tripe is, but it sounds disgusting. And scalded stomach, David. Scalded stomach, not just regular stomach, scalded stomach, apparently none of which are just rib meat.

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141.494 - 149.325 David Cooper

It's what the lawsuit claims. We want to say that very clearly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah, don't sue us, McDonald's. In fact, sponsor us. We love you.

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149.345 - 165.127 Tony Five

I can imagine Ronald McDonald just kicking your door in and just having a go at you. But okay, carry on. No, it would be the Hamburglar would come in and rough me up. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, Hamburglar. Oh, what happened to him? Do you reckon he's really behind bars? I feel like he's typecast. Like he maybe did something many, many years ago.

165.187 - 169.493 Tony Five

And for the last like 40 years, he just has to wear the stripy outfits and stuff.

169.658 - 181.56 David Cooper

Yeah, the sorry state of the legal system. He just can't get a job because, you know, he got convicted of a crime. Now, every time he goes in for a background check to get an honest job, it's hamburger theft.

181.58 - 187.05 Tony Five

He just fails it. He absolutely fails it all the time. And that Zorro hat he wears doesn't do him any favours, does it?

187.371 - 208.503 David Cooper

It does not. He's got a real record with Grand Theft Hamburger. That's what they're saying. A tripe, by the way, is like one of the stomachs of a cow and it's delicious if prepared well. But it is very much like a strong, meaty, like livery, organ meat flavor for sure. Very lovely texture. I feel like you would like tripe. Over Thanksgiving, you tried liver and you liked it.

Chapter 3: What are the surprising claims made in the McRib lawsuit?

282.683 - 286.268 Tony Five

I think they I think these people are just freeloaded. They're trying their luck.

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287.092 - 309.195 David Cooper

All right. Our next topic is, I love these articles, like eight ways that you will find love if only you eat pepperoni pizza. There is a report out there that our producer sent us about people who clean as they cook. And if you do that, you display these eight psychological traits. I'm not even sure we'll get through them all, but let's go through them.

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309.576 - 311.698 David Cooper

Are you someone who cleans while you cook, Tony? Yeah.

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311.678 - 331.774 Tony Five

I do. I fundamentally disagree with this research, if you want to call it research. God knows what university is doing this research on psychology about people washing up. But I do like these clickbait articles like, you know, if you wear your socks on the other side of the foot, you will attract women from Italy. I love stuff like that. And I want to investigate more of that.

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331.794 - 353.498 Tony Five

But this one basically says, if you're a washer-upper while you cook, so as you clean as you cook, which I am, you display, you know, sort of more sort of organized. You have less sort of stress in your life, which I disagree with because I have more stress in my life. And I do clean, you know, while I cook. I don't like a dirty surface.

353.478 - 372.402 David Cooper

And you? I partially clean while I cook, but when I finish the meal, that's when, like, the very last items I use, I don't wash them before I put the meal on the table. My girlfriend, on the other hand, trashes the kitchen. Yes. And it's so annoying because when I cook, she cleans. When she cooks, I clean. But this is a problem for our therapist, not a problem for this show.

372.742 - 390.299 David Cooper

Number one, if you clean while you cook, you have stronger executive function, which means you're better at, like, memory, self-control, flexible thinking. Yep. Number two, you have less stress and anxiety. Like you said, Tony, I don't believe that's true because I'm always stressed and I'm always anxious and I clean while I cook.

390.6 - 398.252 Tony Five

Number three, they possess higher conscientiousness. So you're kind of more reliable in your commitments. I don't know. I can't agree with that.

398.272 - 409.81 David Cooper

I actually agree with that one. I think I am a little bit more of a conscientious person and I do cook while I clean. Okay. How about this one? You demonstrate superior impulse control.

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