Where Does the Libido Gap Myth Come From?
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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What is the libido gap myth and where does it come from?
For years, we've been told men are just naturally more interested in intimacy than women, that there's a libido gap. Men just want more sex. But what if that isn't biologically true at all? What if it's the result of some pretty bad lessons that people are taught at an early age? Well, let's talk about it here with someone who's done research in this area. She's a psychology and brain science researcher and instructor at the University of Toronto. Her name is Diana Paragene. Diana, welcome to the program.
Happy to be here. Thanks so much for having me.
For decades, this myth of men having high libidos and women not, this not biologically true at all. Like how big of a myth are we talking about here? And why do people still pretend that this is true?
Right. I mean, well, we're really talking about when it comes to this gap in particular, I think the myth is really centered on, again, where it comes from than really the size of the gap, right? You know, this libido gap between genders, it's been a staple of punchlines, headlines, party conversations for decades, right? We're talking about a gender gap that's pretty large, about as large as the gender difference in weight, and one that's pretty reliable. It's been replicated across 500 or more studies in the past 25 years alone. And across that, you know, long and sort of girthy body of research, three or four women do report less interest in sex than men. The question is, or I think the controversy is more about where that gap is coming from.
Right. Is it a natural one or is it something that, you know, we acquire over time?
Ah, is it learned or is it just somehow innate in, you know, we were born with it for whatever reason, I guess.
Exactly.
So is it learned is my question.
How has research challenged the belief in a libido gap between genders?
Right. I mean, it is a good question. I mean, the traditional or the sort of classical view, right, has kind of been that, you know, this is something that we can chalk up to biological differences that are kind of programmed before birth, like hormonal ones, for example, right? Or, you know, some have actually more recently kind of chalked it up to experiential differences or learned differences that we acquire as adults, right? You know, I mean, gender differences and sexual enjoyment are among the largest documented in psychology, right? And the orgasm gap is actually increasingly discussed as, you know, one of the possible explanations for women's lower interest in sex. But, you know, what we don't discuss quite as much or even acknowledge, really, is the largest orgasm gap or the largest sexual enjoyment gap on record, which is the one between adolescence, actually, the one that lands the very start of sexual life and actually may land during a critical period for learning about sex and whether sex is worth desiring.
Yeah.
When I learned about sex as a young kid, like in school, it was about pregnancy and STIs and consent and like human body parts. We didn't really focus on pleasure. Is that lack of conversation for kids who are learning about sex? Like, is that where this stems from?
I would say that's definitely a part of it. I mean, but I think a common misconception as well is that pleasure is missing from the curriculum entirely. It's actually something that is included in even the most conservative curricula, but only for a privileged few. Right. I mean, you know, lessons on puberty, those touch on wet dreams, erections, ejaculations for boys. But for girls, they center on menstruation. Likewise, lessons on procreation. Those necessarily include the role of the male sexual pleasure organ in orgasm, but instead of the female one, they spotlight the birth canal, right? So it shouldn't really be all that surprising that young people, you know, prioritize vaginas versus vulvas during sex when sex educators do the same during lessons, right?
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:04–0:29
2
What is the libido gap myth and where does it come from?
0:29–2:12
3
How has research challenged the belief in a libido gap between genders?
2:12–5:18
4
What role do early lessons about sex play in shaping libido perceptions?
5:18–10:11
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from The Last Show with David Cooper
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