How a Divorce Mediator Turns Conflict Into Clarity
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What is mediation and how can it transform a high‑conflict divorce?
Not every mediator has to be an attorney. So having the attorney um education and the experience doing New York matrimonial and family law, I can explain how New York law works, what the durations look like, what the calculated results would look like. And in my experience what judges facing similar fact patterns have done before. So I say if that's helpful for you, um, you know, and you can't resolve this here, you're gonna have to go to a court. So I can help them get unstuck by telling them the reality of what might happen in court and educating them on how the law works in New York.
Deborah Whitson is the founder and managing attorney of Whitson Law, PLLC, a New York family law firm focused on divorce, custody, mediation, and collaborative law. With more than 30 years of legal experience, including work as a special victims prosecutor, Deborah has built her practice around helping families navigate difficult transitions with less conflict and more control.
I've had a number of mediation couples reconcile. They say, Well, now that you've taught us how to effectively communicate, we actually leave the mediation session and we go home and we talk through things and we're like, Maybe we can make this work. So I've seen people they come and they say, My fiance and I did an AI pre nuptial agreement, will you review it? And though I would not have anybody go sign one of those things. There need there's very technical things in New York State that need to be in marital agreements and premarital agreements and postnuptial agreements. So AI doesn't always get that part right. So they might think they have an agreement, they sign it, and then when they get divorced later
It spans the globe like a super high-scalled internet. Elvis, Freddy, I have a green. Today
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Hey, welcome back everyone to another episode of Living Your Legacy Podcast. I'm your host again, Jay Slangan, and we got a special person here from America's Top Lawyers. And yeah, please introduce yourself and what kind of lawyer are you? Where are you from? Also,
hi Jay. Yeah, hi, I'm Jenberg Whitson. I um am an attorney and mediator and collaborative attorney as well. I'm the founder of Wits and Law and Mediated Online Solutions. We practice um law from Albany up to the Canadian border in New York State.
All
right.
And uh practice mediation everywhere in the world.
And so you're you're up in in in Albany?
Uh we have five offices from Albany to Plattsburgh and everywhere in between Saratoga Springs, uh locations. Yeah.
Yeah. So It must be nice down here in Miami, but it's humid.
It's summer is the best time to be in the Adirondack Park of New York State because everything besides summer is winter. Um so Miami is hot compared to Adirondack summers. But it's always great to be in Miami.
How does a New York family‑law background help a mediator explain court outcomes?
It's a very fun, vibrant uh I
gotta say, you gotta prepare for the humidity and the hair. Right. When when you're coming down to the studios, the humidity does have an impact on the hair and the poofiness. So
Yeah, my hair is used to living in the mountains with no humidity. So it's a little bit challenging here today.
So so mediation.
Yeah.
Yeah. So you're getting uh people to be in the room, right? Uh or sit down at a table and be in separate rooms, right? Uh tell tell us about mediation.
Okay. So first I guess I should say that um the law firm and the mediation is all focused on divorce, family law, custody, pre maps, post ups, things like that.
Yeah.
Um and so in that context, right, we're just doing those kinds of mediations. Um, mediation can take a couple of formats. Some people want to sit around a table together and they're able to do that without, you know, shooting uh knives out of their eyes at each other. Um the pandemic had a lot of downsides, but one of the upsides is everybody got used to virtual meetings.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is mediation and how can it transform a high‑conflict divorce?
0:00–3:09
2
How does a New York family‑law background help a mediator explain court outcomes?
3:09–7:55
3
Why are communication ground rules essential for keeping divorce talks productive?
7:55–13:51
4
When should a mediator use written proposals instead of live negotiation?
13:51–19:21
5
What are the risks of using AI‑generated prenups without attorney review?
19:21–24:09
6
How can unmarried couples protect shared assets with cohabitation agreements?
24:09–27:25
Speakers
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