The Luke and Pete Show

Elderly Japanese Lady Golfer

26 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Remember when you used to get fat footballers? Luke and Pete do.On today’s episode, the guys discuss the sartorial choices of football fans of the p...

Goodnight to the Metaverse

23 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The trailer for SNL UK is out and Luke and Pete are sticking to their original predictions vis à vis its quality. But there’s bigger fish to fry on...

Wet Music and Big Shoes

19 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s distaste for what he calls “wet music” might have ruined a recent night out, but his negativity is no match for Pete’s beef with a cert...

Drinking is the Abraham

16 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Pete might have cracked the code to weight loss, everyone. But will the solution give him bad pumps? Only time will tell. Elsewhere on today’s episo...

Mongo the Chimpfluencer

12 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Cryptids. Ever heard of them? Well, they get everywhere. Including Hartlepool, it turns out. Today’s edition of the Luke and Pete show moves from th...

Wild Moldovan Dogs

09 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s been off on his holidays again, this time to Moldova and the breakaway republic of Transnistria. And he didn’t even get as pissed as he cou...

The House You Can Aggressively Have Access To

05 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Luke is in the purgatory of British house-buying — a process his Wife He Has Access To finds baffling when you can apparently just kick a door in an...

Chess and Chest Presses

02 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome, intrepid podcast traveller - good to have you with us. Let Pete regale you with tales of a near-death experience involving a 25-minute walk, ...

Obama’s Extraterrestrials

26 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

A former US President said that aliens exist! More on this story right here on LAPS. In other news, Battery Robot has returned to the fold, Luke’s g...

Something Fishy About the Biscuits

23 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Monday everyone. What better way to start the week than with some allegorical analysis of 1986’s Top Gun? Also on today’s menu: framemogging...

The Ice Have It

19 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete contend with some of the grim realities of the ruling classes on both sides of the pond. In unfortunate news for P...

The Happy Promptman

16 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

On the agenda today: Maxïmo Park, tight trousers and the appendages they disguise (or don’t disguise) and the astonishing number of famous people p...

The Six-Sheep Threshold

12 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

We kick off today’s episode with a look back on the good and the bad of 1990s cartoons and satire, before taking a moment to appreciate the late, gr...

Peter, it’s Paella Time

09 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Mr Donaldson’s just got in from another European trip, this time to the land of tapas and seashell-adorned buildings. Today’s topics include punct...

Too Many Stick Insects

05 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Disturbing psychological conditions, Disney cruises and the obscenity of billionaires. Variety is the spice of life. Plus, there’s plenty of love ar...

Always Smell the Beef

02 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s been to Paris and it’s making everyone very depressed, and not because of envy. The man is self-admittedly awful at booking things.On an eq...

A Cow’s a Silly Animal

29 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete kick off this episode by delighting at the days getting longer. It’ll be spring before you know it, lads.Things get more controversial...

The Many Cakes of Tom Cruise

26 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Carmageddon II looms large in Pete’s early university memories, but it’s not the reason he had to apologise to campus security. Luke, meanwhile, h...

Fascinating Problematic Characters

22 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Impending doomsday diary entry 876, from Donaldson and Moore’s bunker studios…As the world casually burns, we still find time to enjoy Looksmaxxin...

Is Bailey’s egg-based?

19 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s got to come clean about his murky past: the amount of pints and chocolate eclairs he knicked while working at the Student Union. To be fair, ...

The Rest is Pete’s History

15 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After dancing delicately through Luke’s recent toilet trouble for a good ten minutes, we find out that Pete’s been buying radar keys on eBay. Doth...

What's That Cash For, Sir?

12 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

I know what you're thinking - if I download this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, what can I expect to hear? Well, first off you're going to hear ab...

Hand Warmers of Various Types

08 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Hello and welcome back to what feels like a podcast at the end of the world. Put it this way, Pete is desperate to know where he can secure regular as...

Who Let the Wallabies Out?

05 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Looking back on it, how weird was Covid? Luke and Pete share some of their oddest memories of a strange time, before going on to chat about potential ...

50 Shades of Paté

01 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The Luke and Pete Show is back for another year, and what better way to start 2026 than to have a deep and fairly involved conversation about paté? A...

Got Any Old Beef?

29 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's beef wellington didn't quite go to plan on Christmas Day, due to some promises made by a butcher that simply weren't kept. But did he let that ...

Three Noel Edmonds Coasters and a Christmas Samurai

25 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Merry Christmas everyone! Luke and Pete muster on Christmas Day to deliver you a festive, bumper edition of the Luke and Pete Show, because they know ...

Experiencing Paddington

22 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete has been hanging out with one of the world's most famous bears, and do you know what? He bloody enjoyed it. But the feel-good chat doesn't last v...

A Night in a Hostel

18 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to a new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! As we build up towards Christmas, the lads talk presents, including a very thoughtful gift Pe...

Finally! A Podcast Episode About Food Poisoning

15 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

How is Pete preparing his turkey for Christmas dinner this year? By sticking it in the freezer, of course. Pray for his guests, particularly when it s...

The Worst Snack of all Time

11 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's been out on the lash again, and you simply will not believe his drunken food of choice. Honestly, you could have a thousand guesses and you'd n...

Airfrying Your Big Toe

08 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Christmas is coming and so the inevitable Pete Donaldson/Luke Moore airfryer debate simply must rear its ugly head. Can Pete honestly be planning to c...

TV Show Anxiety

04 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to your all-new edition of The Luke and Pete Show! This time around, the lads start, as all great podcasts do, with chat about the semina...

A Geriatric Man of the Match Award

01 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Has Christmas started even earlier this year? If so, why? And what's the attraction of adult lego?Just two of the questions that the Luke and the Pete...

On The Lash in Leicester

27 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Yes indeed, as the title suggests, Peter has been to the historic city of Leicester, home of his alma mater the iconic De Montfort University, to have...

Toilet Plates

24 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What has Pete been up to this week? Now there's a question to strike fear into the heart of men, but worry not! Because the answer basically extends t...

The Radio Doctor Will See You Now

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete tells Luke about his time volunteering on hospital radio before revealing that he was never given a slot on his university's radio station Demon ...

Cyst to Kidney, done deal!

17 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The sheer range of subjects covered on today's episode boggle the mind. Today's topics include, but are not limited to, Pete's Christmas cake recipe, ...

Hot, fresh gallium delivered to your door

13 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It seems strange to say it but we now live in a world where one can have high-quality gallium delivered to one's home the very next day. Is Pete takin...

AI Slop Pardons

10 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Behold! 'Tis the season for Christmas adverts! But why is the Coca-Cola one AI generated again? When will they learn, eh?On today's episode the lads a...

Playing baseball with turkeys

06 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to an all-new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! This time around the lads spend more time than planned on Jamie Oliver, including the tr...

Chinese Takeaway with a Sex Worker

03 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In a development that will surprise absolutely no-one, Pete went into The City for a night out and was propositioned by a sex worker. Unfortunately fo...

Arise, Battery Robot!

30 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Bad news everyone: Peter has been sealing his car and now he absolutely stinks. No matter what he tries, he can't get the stink off. Luke tries to tak...

Sodden on the South Coast

27 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear all about Luke's experience of the 2025 Great South Run. 10 miles of sheer hell in biblically bad conditions, he nonetheless just about ...

Row, Fisherman, Row

23 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Did you ever play manhunt as a kid? And did it ever end up with you almost dying on some mudflats? Those are just two of the questions Luke and Pete t...

This Isn't a Prank

20 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The lesson to take from today's episode is that algorithms will be the death of us all. And what's more, no-one even seems to care. Luke and Pete disc...

Dysfunctional Breathing

16 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete visits a notable lungman about his wreck of a body. Will he get the answers he so desperately needs? Will he get a new inhaler? And, more importa...

Big Fat Northern Holiday

13 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hello all! The game is afoot on this episode as the lads don their deerstalkers and whip out the magnifying glasses to investigate a blurry picture of...

Algorithm Busters

09 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The lads start today's show by talking about AI girlfriends before having a good old chinwag about large language models (lady, lady, m'lady). After t...

Peruvian Power Hour

06 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Behold! Because the lads are back with the usual nonsense, including but not limited to, Old El Paso, Uncle Ben's rice, writing the quiz question...

Train Station Stranger

02 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's been on the small talk again, he can't get enough of it these days. This time it was a man that decided to walk with him to the train station a...

My name is Grandma

29 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The lads open proceedings by chatting about a picture of Pete's dad's quite strange-looking foot, which has been provided to us in x-ray format via wh...

Midwest Pete

25 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hello everyone and welcome back to an all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! This time around, the lads imagine what it would be like if Pete grew...

The Beef Paste Andrew Tate

22 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Luke is stunned and offended by Pete's bombshell revelation that he can no longer make their planned evening out at the Towngate Theatre in Basildon t...

Guitar Solo Eye Contact

18 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! Recording late because Pete forgot about it and decided to take his computer apart ins...

Your Guitar Has No Strings

15 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's a pretty guitar-heavy episode today as the lads chat about musical performance-themed anxiety nightmares (Pete's a member of the Smashing Pumpkin...

Another Glass of Amniotic Fluid, Sir?

11 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today's show opens with the bombshell revelation that Peter has enjoyed breakfast with the Oliver twins, creators of the Dizzy franchise! But what did...

The World's Oldest Flamingo

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's been a crazy few days in the world of Luke and Pete. Peter's had a recent break ruined by the wanton destruction of an animal, Luke's had his wee...

Coleslaw Mix for the Soul

04 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What does male self care mean to you? Remember, there are no right or wrong answers to this question; to Luke it means going to a football match alone...

Uncle Labubu

01 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete tries to do a nice thing for his niece and ends up tearing around central London on a doomed quest to find a Labubu. The labubu he eventually lan...

The Incognito Butcher

28 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After copping a tremendous amount of deserved flak from general practitioners everywhere for his ill-advised comments, Luke is considering shaving off...

Pepe le Prawn's Little Door

25 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Luke's been on a Disney cruise! He tells Pete all about it - the characters appearing out of nowhere and terrifying his son, the amazing places he vis...

Wound Check

21 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Greetings, all! Where to start this week? Well, Pete celebrated Stak moving offices to central London by heading straight to Harley Street and having ...

I Trust the Streets

18 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today's episode starts with an impassioned debate about whether you can drive both ways over the Queen Elizabeth Bridge in east London. If that doesn'...

Little Dirty Pennies

14 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's been thinking about opening his own nursery, but stumbles badly over what he'd call it. But never mind all that, because as ever on T...

A Little Sweet Treat

11 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The lads have moved into a new office and are starting to roll out their best small talk efforts with their new colleagues. But something more pressin...

Creating a Human Flute

07 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are we living in an entirely new societal system? There's plenty of evidence to suggest we are. And it's called The Peteriarchy. But how many Petes ar...

A National Trevor

04 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete and Luke are back to ask a question that is surely on the lips of everyone - who is the UK's National Trevor? There's also time to discuss how ma...

Powered by Lasagne

31 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today on your all-new LAPS portion: Luke meets the Bad Boy of Petanque in the flesh, there's some reminiscing about the abandoned 3D TV revolution and...

Oven Water

28 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What foods would you say are acceptable to eat before midday? Unsurprisingly, Pete doesn't discriminate. Not that he can, mind you; his oven is inexpl...

Bathroom blood

24 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What's Peter doing in the bathroom with a shard of porcelain stuck in his foot? And why are there bloody footprints everywhere? And more importantly, ...

Grand Provocateur

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's fluent in French! Who knew? Did Pete even know until this recording?The boys discover a definitive list of the world's hardest languages and a ...

Magna Carta Men

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What's your favourite internet fight? Luke and Pete list a few contenders, including a man getting told he's about to be thrown into a lake before bei...

Two Stings and a Flea

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's something of a music-themed show today as Pete reveals he once interviewed Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and he had something resembling a tort...

The Waxy Wing Oreo

10 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete saved a bird's life this week, but can he split the G on a pint of Guinness? And if he can, does that make him a 6 Music Dad? Elsewhere, the...

3,200 Cans of Moretti

07 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Remember when Pete went to Newquay and put his foot through the ceiling of an AirBnB? Well he's once again returned to the scene of the crime, on...

Smooching Noel Edmonds

03 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's a fine Thursday to discuss Pete's most inspirational piece of work yet - a lovely graphic of him kissing Noel Edmonds. Luke's not quite sure...

Volvo car chase

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Rejoice, for Luke and Pete are back! And this time around they're talking Jeff Bezos' wedding - what's the small talk going to be like?Meanwhile Pete ...

Why do you always let Luke talk over you?

26 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In what is sure to become absolutely seismic news, Pete was accosted at a train station this week by a listener who quite simply hates Luke and his in...

Urinating off a diving board

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This is a show primarily about urination. But don't let that put you off! We all do it! But do we all do it on consecrated ground, or off of diving bo...

The Sacred Pub

19 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s riding high after winning a 90s-themed pub quiz, but Luke isn’t celebrating – he’s staunchly anti-pub quiz, claiming it threatens the s...

Y-Front Nation

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Scandal rocks the studio as Pete catches Luke doing the unthinkable: eating a snack on air. Things spiral further when Luke takes a swing at pronounci...

Halloumi Boys

12 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Luke tells Pete about his most stressful Lime bike ride yet – unknowingly cycling home on one graffitied with “Pedo bike” on the side. Naturally...

Brydon? I Hardly Know Him

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Luke and Pete dive into the chemical mystery of WD-40 – is it basically just liquid cocaine? Then they move on to debating the fastest way to...

Luke and Pete are here to discuss some sheet

05 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Turns out your favourite duo aren’t the only Luke and Pete in the wider podcasting ecosystem. So now we have extensive beef with a seemingly questio...

Wait, when is the Witching Hour?

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete and a laryngitis-ridden Luke settle in for a thoroughly analytical breakdown of the current state of the UK box office. Plus, we have to ask the ...

Nigel Farage’s problems with Pete

29 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re keeping it British today, as we get through our respective Nando’s orders and rank the frankly outrageous eating habits from our student day...

Funkadelic Franky

26 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today, the lads kick things off with a classic Jeremy Kyle moment: a man boldly declares he loves cocaine more than his kids. This prompts a discussio...

Mothering Wednesday

22 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s livid at the fact he’s stuck with just one Father’s Day while his wife gets to celebrate Mother’s Day in both the UK and US. Meanwhile,...

2 cats and a Nazi doc

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fresh off a Football Ramble tour, the lads recap a monster journey back from Glasgow, including a five-hour delay, a detour through Edinburg...

Met Gala Mayhem

15 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete kicks things off by unpacking the most scandalous moment of the 2025 Met Gala: Rosa Parks printed on a pair of knickers. Naturally, this leads Lu...

Tesco Tyrants

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Luke poses a crucial hypothetical: if music awards only went to artists who’ve never taken a stimulant… who’d actually be left? The lads then di...

Poo Particles

08 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The lads hop aboard the Steven Bartlett hate train, again, and Pete accuses Luke of being just a little jealous. Elsewhere, Luke shares the tale of a ...

4 Toilet Donaldson

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s on a mission to become the most pasty man in Britain, while Pete’s seriously considering a Juicy Couture tracksuit… naturally. Then, the ...

Piss Politics

01 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After foxes ransack Pete’s nappy bins, Luke suggests a very DIY deterrent: peeing in an Evian bottle to mark his territory… not that he’s speaki...

Melatonin Mayhem

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fresh off the plane back from Vegas, Pete takes aim at the culinary crime scene that is Panda Express and regales us with tales of invisible man match...

The 120-Man Rumble

24 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete kicks things off with an identity crisis – he’s convinced he’s 34, and Luke has the unenviable task of breaking the news that he’s... abs...

Worm King

21 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Luke reflects on the pain of a joke that doesn't land with Gen Z — but insists it’s them, not him. He also shares the story of his Seven Si...

Juicy Sweet Liver

17 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Luke and Pete dive into the UK’s sugar tax and discover why Mexican Coke is far superior. Luke confesses he can’t stomach the punch of full...

Swamp Life

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today, after Pete introduces us to the world of expat DJ channels, Luke is left wondering why some expats seem to loathe British culture — especiall...