The Luke and Pete Show
Episodes
MDMA on a Desert Island
11 May 2026
Contributed by Lukas
GB News continues to evade toothless regulatory bodies and Pete’s dad continues to tune in. It turns out Luke’s met plenty of the presenters, many...
One Question for the Boss
07 May 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Pete’s DIY mission continues and it’s all getting a bit treacherous. He’s discovered some mould and keeps getting electric shocks off his drill....
The Christianity Escape Pod
04 May 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Luke’s off to the BFI (Boxing Face Institute) and Pete might have recently participated in the worst conversation to have ever happened. At least Sa...
My Name Isn't James
30 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Imperial War Museum’s got a WWI-era puppet and it’s brought up some terrifying memories for Luke. Maybe ARC Raiders would take his mind off it...
Yes, Captain Kidney
27 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
It’s nearly Sir David Attenborough’s 100th birthday but Pete isn’t especially looking forward to the celebrations. He is, however, excited for a...
I’ve Got Loads of Bags of Cement
23 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Pete went to Las Vegas for WrestleMania and disgraced himself by not drinking or gambling enough. He got a hat, though. Swings and roundabouts.Meanwhi...
Dispatches from Orchestra Camp
20 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
New Lime bikes are being rolled out! Big news for a man (Luke) who’s racked up an incredible number of kilometres on the current ones.There’s also...
Leave the Tortoise Alone
16 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Mr Donaldson's about to turn 45 and frankly Luke is shocked he made it this far. Before the big day, though, he’s off to WrestleMania in Vegas. Fing...
Schrödinger’s Poo
13 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Pete’s been using an angle grinder and it’s made his cabin smell awful. Luke’s son is reassuring him that he hasn’t done a poo. All is right i...
A Balustrade Tragedy
09 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Pete’s got a new project and it’s nearly claimed his life already. It involves walls, glass, vans and a great deal of calamity. Before any of that...
Ten American Men
06 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Under the microscope this fine Monday: the land of the free and the home of the brave. Luke and Pete discuss the recent passing of Robert Mueller, Kas...
AKA the Bronx
02 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
On today’s show, Luke laments the inherent meekness of the British and their aversion to revolution. Thank God for a new set of golf clubs to lift h...
The Last Men on Earth
30 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
If Luke and Pete were to leave the studio to find they’re suddenly the only people left on the planet, what would the strategy be? Minor spoiler: pr...
Elderly Japanese Lady Golfer
26 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Remember when you used to get fat footballers? Luke and Pete do.On today’s episode, the guys discuss the sartorial choices of football fans of the p...
Goodnight to the Metaverse
23 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The trailer for SNL UK is out and Luke and Pete are sticking to their original predictions vis à vis its quality. But there’s bigger fish to fry on...
Wet Music and Big Shoes
19 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Luke’s distaste for what he calls “wet music” might have ruined a recent night out, but his negativity is no match for Pete’s beef with a cert...
Drinking is the Abraham
16 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Pete might have cracked the code to weight loss, everyone. But will the solution give him bad pumps? Only time will tell. Elsewhere on today’s episo...
Mongo the Chimpfluencer
12 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Cryptids. Ever heard of them? Well, they get everywhere. Including Hartlepool, it turns out. Today’s edition of the Luke and Pete show moves from th...
Wild Moldovan Dogs
09 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Pete’s been off on his holidays again, this time to Moldova and the breakaway republic of Transnistria. And he didn’t even get as pissed as he cou...
The House You Can Aggressively Have Access To
05 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Luke is in the purgatory of British house-buying — a process his Wife He Has Access To finds baffling when you can apparently just kick a door in an...
Chess and Chest Presses
02 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome, intrepid podcast traveller - good to have you with us. Let Pete regale you with tales of a near-death experience involving a 25-minute walk, ...
Obama’s Extraterrestrials
26 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
A former US President said that aliens exist! More on this story right here on LAPS. In other news, Battery Robot has returned to the fold, Luke’s g...
Something Fishy About the Biscuits
23 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Happy Monday everyone. What better way to start the week than with some allegorical analysis of 1986’s Top Gun? Also on today’s menu: framemogging...
The Ice Have It
19 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
On today’s episode, Luke and Pete contend with some of the grim realities of the ruling classes on both sides of the pond. In unfortunate news for P...
The Happy Promptman
16 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
On the agenda today: Maxïmo Park, tight trousers and the appendages they disguise (or don’t disguise) and the astonishing number of famous people p...
The Six-Sheep Threshold
12 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
We kick off today’s episode with a look back on the good and the bad of 1990s cartoons and satire, before taking a moment to appreciate the late, gr...
Peter, it’s Paella Time
09 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Mr Donaldson’s just got in from another European trip, this time to the land of tapas and seashell-adorned buildings. Today’s topics include punct...
Too Many Stick Insects
05 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Disturbing psychological conditions, Disney cruises and the obscenity of billionaires. Variety is the spice of life. Plus, there’s plenty of love ar...
Always Smell the Beef
02 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Pete’s been to Paris and it’s making everyone very depressed, and not because of envy. The man is self-admittedly awful at booking things.On an eq...
A Cow’s a Silly Animal
29 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Pete kick off this episode by delighting at the days getting longer. It’ll be spring before you know it, lads.Things get more controversial...
The Many Cakes of Tom Cruise
26 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Carmageddon II looms large in Pete’s early university memories, but it’s not the reason he had to apologise to campus security. Luke, meanwhile, h...
Fascinating Problematic Characters
22 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Impending doomsday diary entry 876, from Donaldson and Moore’s bunker studios…As the world casually burns, we still find time to enjoy Looksmaxxin...
Is Bailey’s egg-based?
19 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Luke’s got to come clean about his murky past: the amount of pints and chocolate eclairs he knicked while working at the Student Union. To be fair, ...
The Rest is Pete’s History
15 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
After dancing delicately through Luke’s recent toilet trouble for a good ten minutes, we find out that Pete’s been buying radar keys on eBay. Doth...
What's That Cash For, Sir?
12 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
I know what you're thinking - if I download this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, what can I expect to hear? Well, first off you're going to hear ab...
Hand Warmers of Various Types
08 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Hello and welcome back to what feels like a podcast at the end of the world. Put it this way, Pete is desperate to know where he can secure regular as...
Who Let the Wallabies Out?
05 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Looking back on it, how weird was Covid? Luke and Pete share some of their oddest memories of a strange time, before going on to chat about potential ...
50 Shades of Paté
01 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Luke and Pete Show is back for another year, and what better way to start 2026 than to have a deep and fairly involved conversation about paté? A...
Got Any Old Beef?
29 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete's beef wellington didn't quite go to plan on Christmas Day, due to some promises made by a butcher that simply weren't kept. But did he let that ...
Three Noel Edmonds Coasters and a Christmas Samurai
25 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Merry Christmas everyone! Luke and Pete muster on Christmas Day to deliver you a festive, bumper edition of the Luke and Pete Show, because they know ...
Experiencing Paddington
22 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete has been hanging out with one of the world's most famous bears, and do you know what? He bloody enjoyed it. But the feel-good chat doesn't last v...
A Night in a Hostel
18 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to a new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! As we build up towards Christmas, the lads talk presents, including a very thoughtful gift Pe...
Finally! A Podcast Episode About Food Poisoning
15 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How is Pete preparing his turkey for Christmas dinner this year? By sticking it in the freezer, of course. Pray for his guests, particularly when it s...
The Worst Snack of all Time
11 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete's been out on the lash again, and you simply will not believe his drunken food of choice. Honestly, you could have a thousand guesses and you'd n...
Airfrying Your Big Toe
08 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Christmas is coming and so the inevitable Pete Donaldson/Luke Moore airfryer debate simply must rear its ugly head. Can Pete honestly be planning to c...
TV Show Anxiety
04 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to your all-new edition of The Luke and Pete Show! This time around, the lads start, as all great podcasts do, with chat about the semina...
A Geriatric Man of the Match Award
01 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Has Christmas started even earlier this year? If so, why? And what's the attraction of adult lego?Just two of the questions that the Luke and the Pete...
On The Lash in Leicester
27 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Yes indeed, as the title suggests, Peter has been to the historic city of Leicester, home of his alma mater the iconic De Montfort University, to have...
Toilet Plates
24 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What has Pete been up to this week? Now there's a question to strike fear into the heart of men, but worry not! Because the answer basically extends t...
The Radio Doctor Will See You Now
20 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete tells Luke about his time volunteering on hospital radio before revealing that he was never given a slot on his university's radio station Demon ...
Cyst to Kidney, done deal!
17 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The sheer range of subjects covered on today's episode boggle the mind. Today's topics include, but are not limited to, Pete's Christmas cake recipe, ...
Hot, fresh gallium delivered to your door
13 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It seems strange to say it but we now live in a world where one can have high-quality gallium delivered to one's home the very next day. Is Pete takin...
AI Slop Pardons
10 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Behold! 'Tis the season for Christmas adverts! But why is the Coca-Cola one AI generated again? When will they learn, eh?On today's episode the lads a...
Playing baseball with turkeys
06 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to an all-new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! This time around the lads spend more time than planned on Jamie Oliver, including the tr...
Chinese Takeaway with a Sex Worker
03 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In a development that will surprise absolutely no-one, Pete went into The City for a night out and was propositioned by a sex worker. Unfortunately fo...
Arise, Battery Robot!
30 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Bad news everyone: Peter has been sealing his car and now he absolutely stinks. No matter what he tries, he can't get the stink off. Luke tries to tak...
Sodden on the South Coast
27 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today we hear all about Luke's experience of the 2025 Great South Run. 10 miles of sheer hell in biblically bad conditions, he nonetheless just about ...
Row, Fisherman, Row
23 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Did you ever play manhunt as a kid? And did it ever end up with you almost dying on some mudflats? Those are just two of the questions Luke and Pete t...
This Isn't a Prank
20 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The lesson to take from today's episode is that algorithms will be the death of us all. And what's more, no-one even seems to care. Luke and Pete disc...
Dysfunctional Breathing
16 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete visits a notable lungman about his wreck of a body. Will he get the answers he so desperately needs? Will he get a new inhaler? And, more importa...
Big Fat Northern Holiday
13 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hello all! The game is afoot on this episode as the lads don their deerstalkers and whip out the magnifying glasses to investigate a blurry picture of...
Algorithm Busters
09 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The lads start today's show by talking about AI girlfriends before having a good old chinwag about large language models (lady, lady, m'lady). After t...
Peruvian Power Hour
06 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Behold! Because the lads are back with the usual nonsense, including but not limited to, Old El Paso, Uncle Ben's rice, writing the quiz question...
Train Station Stranger
02 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete's been on the small talk again, he can't get enough of it these days. This time it was a man that decided to walk with him to the train station a...
My name is Grandma
29 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The lads open proceedings by chatting about a picture of Pete's dad's quite strange-looking foot, which has been provided to us in x-ray format via wh...
Midwest Pete
25 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hello everyone and welcome back to an all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! This time around, the lads imagine what it would be like if Pete grew...
The Beef Paste Andrew Tate
22 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Luke is stunned and offended by Pete's bombshell revelation that he can no longer make their planned evening out at the Towngate Theatre in Basildon t...
Guitar Solo Eye Contact
18 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! Recording late because Pete forgot about it and decided to take his computer apart ins...
Your Guitar Has No Strings
15 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's a pretty guitar-heavy episode today as the lads chat about musical performance-themed anxiety nightmares (Pete's a member of the Smashing Pumpkin...
Another Glass of Amniotic Fluid, Sir?
11 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today's show opens with the bombshell revelation that Peter has enjoyed breakfast with the Oliver twins, creators of the Dizzy franchise! But what did...
The World's Oldest Flamingo
08 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's been a crazy few days in the world of Luke and Pete. Peter's had a recent break ruined by the wanton destruction of an animal, Luke's had his wee...
Coleslaw Mix for the Soul
04 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What does male self care mean to you? Remember, there are no right or wrong answers to this question; to Luke it means going to a football match alone...
Uncle Labubu
01 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete tries to do a nice thing for his niece and ends up tearing around central London on a doomed quest to find a Labubu. The labubu he eventually lan...
The Incognito Butcher
28 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
After copping a tremendous amount of deserved flak from general practitioners everywhere for his ill-advised comments, Luke is considering shaving off...
Pepe le Prawn's Little Door
25 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Luke's been on a Disney cruise! He tells Pete all about it - the characters appearing out of nowhere and terrifying his son, the amazing places he vis...
Wound Check
21 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Greetings, all! Where to start this week? Well, Pete celebrated Stak moving offices to central London by heading straight to Harley Street and having ...
I Trust the Streets
18 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today's episode starts with an impassioned debate about whether you can drive both ways over the Queen Elizabeth Bridge in east London. If that doesn'...
Little Dirty Pennies
14 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete's been thinking about opening his own nursery, but stumbles badly over what he'd call it. But never mind all that, because as ever on T...
A Little Sweet Treat
11 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The lads have moved into a new office and are starting to roll out their best small talk efforts with their new colleagues. But something more pressin...
Creating a Human Flute
07 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are we living in an entirely new societal system? There's plenty of evidence to suggest we are. And it's called The Peteriarchy. But how many Petes ar...
A National Trevor
04 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete and Luke are back to ask a question that is surely on the lips of everyone - who is the UK's National Trevor? There's also time to discuss how ma...
Powered by Lasagne
31 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today on your all-new LAPS portion: Luke meets the Bad Boy of Petanque in the flesh, there's some reminiscing about the abandoned 3D TV revolution and...
Oven Water
28 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What foods would you say are acceptable to eat before midday? Unsurprisingly, Pete doesn't discriminate. Not that he can, mind you; his oven is inexpl...
Bathroom blood
24 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What's Peter doing in the bathroom with a shard of porcelain stuck in his foot? And why are there bloody footprints everywhere? And more importantly, ...
Grand Provocateur
21 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete's fluent in French! Who knew? Did Pete even know until this recording?The boys discover a definitive list of the world's hardest languages and a ...
Magna Carta Men
17 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What's your favourite internet fight? Luke and Pete list a few contenders, including a man getting told he's about to be thrown into a lake before bei...
Two Stings and a Flea
14 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's something of a music-themed show today as Pete reveals he once interviewed Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and he had something resembling a tort...
The Waxy Wing Oreo
10 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete saved a bird's life this week, but can he split the G on a pint of Guinness? And if he can, does that make him a 6 Music Dad? Elsewhere, the...
3,200 Cans of Moretti
07 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Remember when Pete went to Newquay and put his foot through the ceiling of an AirBnB? Well he's once again returned to the scene of the crime, on...
Smooching Noel Edmonds
03 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's a fine Thursday to discuss Pete's most inspirational piece of work yet - a lovely graphic of him kissing Noel Edmonds. Luke's not quite sure...
Volvo car chase
30 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rejoice, for Luke and Pete are back! And this time around they're talking Jeff Bezos' wedding - what's the small talk going to be like?Meanwhile Pete ...
Why do you always let Luke talk over you?
26 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In what is sure to become absolutely seismic news, Pete was accosted at a train station this week by a listener who quite simply hates Luke and his in...
Urinating off a diving board
23 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a show primarily about urination. But don't let that put you off! We all do it! But do we all do it on consecrated ground, or off of diving bo...
The Sacred Pub
19 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete’s riding high after winning a 90s-themed pub quiz, but Luke isn’t celebrating – he’s staunchly anti-pub quiz, claiming it threatens the s...
Y-Front Nation
16 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Scandal rocks the studio as Pete catches Luke doing the unthinkable: eating a snack on air. Things spiral further when Luke takes a swing at pronounci...
Halloumi Boys
12 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Luke tells Pete about his most stressful Lime bike ride yet – unknowingly cycling home on one graffitied with “Pedo bike” on the side. Naturally...
Brydon? I Hardly Know Him
09 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today, Luke and Pete dive into the chemical mystery of WD-40 – is it basically just liquid cocaine? Then they move on to debating the fastest way to...
Luke and Pete are here to discuss some sheet
05 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Turns out your favourite duo aren’t the only Luke and Pete in the wider podcasting ecosystem. So now we have extensive beef with a seemingly questio...
Wait, when is the Witching Hour?
02 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete and a laryngitis-ridden Luke settle in for a thoroughly analytical breakdown of the current state of the UK box office. Plus, we have to ask the ...
Nigel Farage’s problems with Pete
29 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We’re keeping it British today, as we get through our respective Nando’s orders and rank the frankly outrageous eating habits from our student day...