The Mel Robbins Podcast
Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible & What to Do About It
10 Feb 2025
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “where did all my friends go?” or felt like making friends as an adult is impossible, you are not alone. In today’s episode, Mel is breaking down the surprising reasons why friendship feels so much harder in adulthood—and, more importantly, how to change that. In this episode, you’ll learn: The three essential pillars for creating deep, lasting friendships. Why you may be experiencing a “friendship recession” How to stop taking friendship shifts personally. How to use The Let Them Theory to take a more flexible approach to friendship. A simple, step-by-step plan to find and keep incredible friends at any stage of life. Mel also shares shocking research that will change the way you think about friendships—including how long it really takes to form a close bond and the single most important factor in building lasting connections.If you feel lonely, disconnected, or simply want to strengthen the friendships you already have, this episode will give you the exact roadmap you need.For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked this episode, your next listen should be this one: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons From the Longest Study on HappinessGet a copy of Mel’s new book, The Let Them Theory here. Connect with Mel: Watch the episodes on YouTubeGet Mel’s new book, The Let Them TheoryFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes Disclaimer
Full Episode
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Ooh, I am so glad that you're listening to this because today you and I are going to talk about why making friends as an adult feels impossible. And I'm just going to start by saying, I want to put this on the record, for most of my adult life, I didn't understand the rules of adult friendship.
If you knew me, Mel Robbins, in my 20s, 30s, or even 40s, first of all, I apologize because I will own the fact that I was a walking red flag as a friend. You know, I was the kind of person who was both clingy and also exclusive. I was kind of transactional.
I might have been supportive to your face, but in private, even though I wanted to be supportive, if you were winning, it made me feel insecure and jealous or threatened. Look, I made every mistake. that you could make in friendship. But I didn't know what it takes to truly create a great friendship, or more importantly, how to be a good friend. Because I didn't know a simple fact back then.
See, when you hit your 20s, absolutely everything about friendship changes, and nobody sees it coming. I didn't. So today, I'm going to walk you through very eye-opening research that I've done and then apply to my own life in the area of friendship. It's life-altering. It's groundbreaking. You're going to love this. See, I now know the rules of adult friendship.
I understand and own the mistakes that I made. And as you listen today and you think about what I'm sharing with you, you're probably going to realize these are some of the same mistakes that you're making too, and you don't even know it. I didn't know it. So if you're feeling lonely, if you feel like you never see your friends, if you're wondering, where did all my friends go?
Or if you're surrounded by people, but they just don't feel like your people anymore, I or you just wish you had more fun, you had a better social life, you could create those close friendships that you really yearn for and you deserve, this conversation is exactly what you need to hear. It doesn't matter how old you are. Doesn't matter how young you are.
Everything that you're about to learn is going to open your eyes and alter your life. Because yes, it is true. It does feel impossible to make adult friends. We all feel it. But after our conversation today, you will know the truth is that the best friendships of your life, they're not in the past. They are in your future.
And today, you're going to get the step-by-step roadmap and the insights that you need to go create them. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and I just want to take a moment and welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited you're here, and I'm especially excited about what you and I are going to talk about today. This is research and insights that changed my life. It has made my life better.
We're going to be talking about friendship. You are going to love this. You're going to want to share this with people that you know, that you love, and in fact, If this is one of your first episodes, I want to take a moment and welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Because you made the time to listen to this particular episode, here's what I know about you.
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