Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you love this podcast, you'll probably love the live event that I'm doing later on this year.
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Today, we're going to be talking about protecting your inner peace because one of the greatest skills that you can develop in your lifetime is the ability to protect your inner peace because life is never going to stop being unpredictable. There will always be stress. There will always be uncertainty. There will always be bad news. There will always be difficult people.
And there will be moments that test your nervous system. And if your inner peace depends on everything outside of you going perfectly, then you will spend your entire life emotionally unstable. And so today I wanna teach you how to build peace no matter what the circumstances in your life are.
And the reason why I wanted to do this episode is because of something that happened to me this past Saturday. And so I'm gonna tell you this story and then I wanna teach you what I learned from this story, okay? It was this past Saturday morning. I'm sitting outside on my back porch. I had my coffee in my hand. The sun was out. My son was sitting on my lap.
It was calm and peaceful and beautiful. And we're just looking out of my back porch. My house backs up to 2,000 acres of protected land. And so I'm just like... looking at this beautiful moment, this beautiful view, sitting with my son on my lap, right? I'm enjoying the moment.
And then my phone buzzes and I get a text message from someone on my team and the text said, hey, I think your Instagram account just disappeared. And I'm immediately like, the hell do you mean my Instagram account disappeared? So I open up my phone, I go to Instagram and it says, your account has been disabled. Boom. Just like that. Overnight, it was just gone. No warning.
1.7 million followers, 11 years of growing it, over 11,000 posts, and millions of dollars in revenue in my business each year are connected to my social media.
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Chapter 2: How can you protect your inner peace amidst uncertainty?
All of that was gone. And instantly...
i could feel it happen inside of my body right fear anxiety stress i could literally feel those emotions rising up inside of me that i felt so many times and then my brain started doing what brains do it immediately started projecting itself into the future and asking myself terrible questions like what if i don't get it back what if this messes up the business what if we lose all of our revenue what if this screws everything up
What am I going to do? I've put so much work in this, I can't believe that it's gone. And then I started getting pissed off about how much work I've put into it and it's just gone and I can't even control it. And my body started becoming dysregulated. My chest got tighter, my nervous system started activating, my mind was racing all over the place. You ever felt this way? Does it sound familiar?
Have you done this before? The crazy part about all of this is that none of the things that my mind was projecting into the future and thinking were possibly going to happen, none of them were actually happening in that moment. My mind was creating a false future. And my body was...
taking what my mind was coming up with and imagining the fake scenarios that didn't exist and feeling those feelings. Like my body was reacting to those imaginary futures in real time. My body was suffering over things that weren't actually truly happening. I was still sitting outside in the sun with my coffee in a beautiful day, just looking to view my son and I just hanging out.
But because I've been doing this work now for 20 years, I noticed my body was shifting. I noticed my mind was doing something. And I noticed my brain leaving the present moment. And so I noticed it's starting to drag me into fear, into uncertainty, into catastrophic thinking. And I had this moment where I said, okay, hold on.
So I did what I typically do whenever I notice myself getting dysregulated or leaving the present moment. I breathe in and then I hummed out. And I did it for a few minutes and I closed my eyes and I tried to pull myself out of my head and bring myself back into my body, back into the present moment. I could feel the sun on my skin. I could smell the coffee. I could taste the coffee.
I could hear the birds chirping outside. I could hear my son making his little noises. I could feel him sitting on my lap. And I asked myself a question that's changed my life over the years. And the question is this, what's actually true right now? What's actually true? Not what I fear, not what could happen, not the stories, not the projections that my mind is doing into the future.
What is objectively true in this exact moment? And the only thing that was true in that moment was my Instagram had currently been disabled. That's it. Nothing else was true.
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Chapter 3: What personal story illustrates the importance of inner peace?
Not my business is ruined. Everything is falling apart. I'm screwed. This is the end. None of those things were true. But the only thing that was true was my Instagram account was disabled. And we do this all of the time where we have one thing happen and we project into these catastrophic futures and ruin a beautiful moment. And at that moment, I realized I had a choice.
Like I can let this ruin my day. I could spiral. I could disconnect from this beautiful present moment. I could poison this beautiful Saturday morning with fear. Or I could bring myself back to the present moment. I could regulate myself. I could trust that whatever happens is going to happen. I could trust that it's going to happen the way it's supposed to.
Because no matter what happens, I know I'll figure it out. And to be honest with you, I probably will not remember this moment when I'm 90 years old. So why am I going to let it ruin my day? And I had this thought while my son was still sitting on my lap. And I realized, oh my gosh, not only am I trying to fix this for myself, I'm actually trying to fix this for him too.
Because his nervous system is feeling mine right now. There's so many studies around how children's nervous system is borrowed and learned and built through our own nervous system as adults and as parents. So he's downloading information from me right now as all this is going on. oh shit, I better fix it, right? So it made it even more important because children don't just listen to what you say.
They absorb what they see and they absorb what you are. And I thought to myself, do I want my son to absorb panic or do I want him to absorb peace? Do I want him to learn fear or do I want him to learn regulation? And so I decided, you know what? Damn it. No matter what happens, I won't even know until next week because I'm sure all of meta is off of Instagram for the next couple of days.
So I won't even have any answers until the week starts and we will be right back. And now back to the show. And so I texted my team. I was like, I'm gonna have a great day. Anyways, I text my team and I said, you know, handle whatever you guys need to handle. We'll figure it out on Monday. Enjoy the weekend. And I put my phone down and I consciously made the decision.
I'm going to enjoy my morning. I'm going to enjoy my coffee. I'm going to enjoy this moment with my son. I'm going to enjoy the sunshine. I'm going to enjoy my Saturday. And I did enjoy my Saturday. And I kind of just forgot about it for a while because I didn't let it ruin my day. And the crazy thing about it, here's the crazy part about everybody.
I ended up getting my Instagram back six days later. Everything was fine. So I could have ruined all of those six days with all of my catastrophizing, which believe me, I've done that many times before. But... The most important part of this story is I never lost my peace. And years ago, this would have ruined me. This would have ruined my day. Hell, it probably would have ruined my entire week.
I would have obsessed over it. I wouldn't have slept. I would have spiraled. I would have emotionally suffered for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. But as I've gotten older, I've realized something. Peace is a choice. Peace is a practice. It's not a constant state. It is a decision that we make in each moment. And inner peace cannot be dependent on outward circumstances. Hmm.
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Chapter 4: How can your thoughts create false futures?
Like you have to understand, it is a practice. Peace is basically like emotional mastery. Peace is I refuse to let circumstances outside of me control my inner world. Like that's power. You know, anybody can panic. Anybody can spiral. Anybody can catastrophize. We're all professionals at that. But to consciously regulate yourself in the middle of uncertainty, that takes practice. That takes work.
That takes real awareness. That takes nervous system training. So peace is not this destination that we arrive at someday. And then we just, hey, now that I've gotten here, I'm here forever. I think that's what people think it is. Like, oh, I just need to become more peaceful. No, it is a practice. It's a daily practice.
It is a decision of each moment of your life to choose peace over fear or over worry or over doubt or over insecurities or over all of this catastrophizing. It is a choice of what you're going to choose in that moment. And you might have to do it 40, 50, 60, 100 times a day to choose peace, okay? So that's lesson number four. Lesson number five.
Honestly, most things that we freak out over are not worth losing your life over. Most things are not worth losing your life over. That's lesson number five. Because when I say your life, I mean moments. Because your life is made of moments.
And so many people, I've done this for so long in my life, they sacrifice a beautiful morning or time with their children or vacations or a nice dinner or relationships or just their peace because something outside of them did not go the way that they want to. That's it. Something outside of you did not go the way that you wanted to.
And now you're kind of, as an adult, throwing an adult temper tantrum. Oh no, it didn't go the way that I wanted it to. Now I'm mad. Now I'm pissed. Oh, fuck off everybody. Right? Life is always going to go wrong in some sort of way. There's always going to be stress and uncertainty and problems and chaos.
The question is, will you abandon yourself every single time it gets uncomfortable or can you stay rooted in peace even when things are uncertain? The way I like to think of it is like the big giant oak tree. It's like, you know, you'll see a hurricane come through or you'll see a tornado come through and it will just wreck everything. But there's always like one big oak tree.
Where it's like, no matter how crazy the winds get, that oak tree is so deeply rooted into the ground, nothing is going to sway it. Can you have that oak tree energy, right? Our lives are not just big moments. Our lives are a culmination of millions of tiny moments throughout our hopefully 90 to 100 years while we're here. The best way I've ever heard it... described as this.
You're born, you have a set of circumstances, and then you die. That's it. That's the simplest way of life. You're born, you have a set of circumstances, and you die. The meaning that you give those experiences of your life creates the quality of your life. So what meaning are you giving every single moment?
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