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Chapter 1: What is the main theme of today's episode?
Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you love this podcast, you'll probably love the live event that I'm doing later on this year.
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Once again, freedomwaitlist.com. Today, I'm gonna show you why some people completely transform their lives and other people stay stuck for decades. And it's not a difference of intelligence or luck or discipline. It's far, far, far deeper than that.
And once you fully understand it, you'll realize why you keep repeating the same fears and the same excuses and the same limitations, and you're staying stuck with the same results over and over and over again, year after year.
because if you don't understand what's really happening beneath the surface, you'll spend your entire life treating symptoms, but the actual problem will continue running under the surface and ruining your life. And so today's gonna be a little bit different of an episode. I want to hopefully change your perspective. more than give you tips and tricks.
Today I want to lovingly call you the hell out. Not in a mean way, not in a shamey type of way, not in an internet guru screaming at you from a rented Ferrari or Lamborghini type of way. I mean in a way that a friend that loves you more than anything grabs your shoulders, looks you in the eye, gives you a little fucking shake for just a second and says like, hey, you're not lacking potential.
You're not lacking intelligence. You're not lacking signs from the universe. You're not lacking another book or podcast or journal prompt or morning routine or notion board. You're lacking full on obsession. And I know the word obsession can feel intense. Because people hear the word obsession and think like, oh my God, that sounds unhealthy.
And obsession with some things can absolutely be unhealthy when it's pointed in the wrong direction. But if you can point into the right direction, you can point obsession, which means focused energy of your mind, of your body, of your spirit, of your actions in one direction and It's like a heat-seeking missile. You're gonna fucking hit it. And I want you to be really honest with yourself.
What are you already obsessed with? Because most people are not free from obsession. They're just unconsciously obsessed with the life that they actually want to escape. And they don't realize it. Like they're obsessed with their limiting beliefs. They're obsessed with proving why they can't change.
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Chapter 2: Why do some people transform their lives while others remain stuck?
They're obsessed with their insecurities. They're obsessed with their old story and fears. They're obsessed with defending an identity that's keeping them stuck. And so then when you say something like, I really do want a new life. It's like, yeah, but do you? Because I'm watching people fight harder for their limitations than fight for the life that they want. Think about that for a second.
How many times have you over-explained yourself to somebody as to why you're not good enough, why you have fears, why you have limiting beliefs, why your trauma is holding you back, why your parents didn't give you what you want, why it's the president's fault or the economy's fault or another nation's fault or Nancy and accounting's fault.
It's always a fault of something versus being like, I don't give a shit. I'm going to be obsessed with what I want. I'm going to get it no matter what. I see people unconsciously become lawyers for their fear. Like they build a whole case. A whole case. Well, this is just how I am and I've always been anxious and I've never really been disciplined.
I'm not a disciplined person and I am bad with money and I'm just not the kind of person who follows through and I just self-sabotage and I'm also lazy and I'm like, damn. you have an incredible amount of focus, like an incredible amount of focus, but you don't realize you're just aimed at the wrong thing. Like you're aimed at who you used to be.
Like life is like this, at this moment right now, it's like from this moment back to the moment you were born is chapter one. From this moment forward can be chapter two. But a lot of people are just like, I want to keep reading chapter one. I want to keep reading chapter one.
Most people are aimed and focused, hardcore, consciously and unconsciously on who they used to be versus who they want to be versus the life that they're trying to build. Because obsession is not something that you think about sometimes. Obsession is something that you think about all of the time. It's like this mental orbit. It's always floating around in your head, right?
It's the thing that your brain keeps circling back to when you're driving, when you're showering, when you're walking, when you're lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Think about it like this. When I always think about obsession, I always think about it because this tends to relate with people, like your first love.
like your real first love, the person that you were obsessed with, like you weren't, you weren't like casually interested in your first love. Do you remember? You weren't like, yeah, you know what? Like I think about them every other Thursday when I finished doing my emails, right? Like, no, it was like, you were insane. Like you were checking your phone.
Like it was a medical device that was trying to keep you alive. Like you heard their name. Oh my God. And like your whole nervous system lit up like a Christmas tree. Like you heard anything, any song with the slightest little hint of a love song or just even a line inside of a song that sounded lovingly and like, oh my God. And you think of them, right? You drive and you pass like a yield sign.
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Chapter 3: What does it mean to be fully obsessed in your pursuits?
You start seeing opportunities and you start having conversations and you notice behaviors and books and people and decisions that align with what you're building. It's the equivalent of when you see a new car. You wanna go drive a car and you go drive a Ford and you're like, oh man, I really like that Ford F-150. I've never really thought about owning one before.
And you start thinking about owning one and then all day long, all you're seeing is Ford F-150s. It's not like they weren't there. They've always been there. But now you're starting to see it because your reticular activating system is not filtering it out anymore. It's the same damn thing with the life that you want.
Because right now you've been focusing your entire life and everything that comes in based off of the old you, the old limiting beliefs, the old fears. And when you start focusing on what it is that you want, And you become obsessed so that your life starts reorganizing around what you're repeatedly focusing on. And so most people are not doing that consciously.
I'm trying to have you do that consciously. Most people are just like waking up and without them realizing it, the old self just starts running the show. Old fears get the microphone to just scream into so they just hear those all day long. Old wounds choose what they do and what they don't do. Like old beliefs decide what's possible for you.
Old insecurities get to vote on what you're gonna be doing in this life.
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Chapter 4: How can obsession be directed towards positive change?
No way, dude. And then your future self is in the corner and it's like, hey, remember me? Do you wanna check in with me? Because all you're doing is you're checking in like once a week through some cute little journaling session. in my life, I want to be this. In 10 years, I want to be this. And then 99% of your week, you're focusing on your old self.
No, your future self cannot be your side chick, right? Your future self has to become the relationship. You have to become obsessed with the life you want. You need to, in that analogy I just gave, divorce your old self and your new life needs to become the one that was your side chick that now you're going to marry. Then you're going to promote to become married to that new life that you want.
You've got to divorce your old self and you've got to marry your new self. Like imagine if you got married to somebody and you only spent time with them sometimes and they didn't feel like they were a priority for you. Is that going to work out? No. They don't want to be a sometimes relationship that they married you. Be honest with me. Is that how you've treated the life that you want?
Oh, I kind of think about it when I sit down for a cute little journaling session for five minutes in the morning. No. Obsession. Don't think about it sometimes.
Chapter 5: What are the consequences of being unconsciously obsessed?
And then just like run on your old defaults for the rest of the week. Because your old patterns, like they're lightning fast. They have reps. They're good. It has so much momentum. It has so much years of evidence. And your new identity needs repetition too. It needs you to brainwash yourself before the world brainwashes you into being average.
And I mean that lovingly because the world's constantly telling you what to be. It's constantly like your past is telling you who you need to be. Your family system is telling you who you are. Your trauma is telling you on what you should do. Your body's telling you who you've been. Your environment is telling you what's normal for you. If you do not
consciously install the new obsession, your old programming will win. It will. Your subconscious is 19 times stronger than your conscious mind, which means that you're not going to change it by just thinking about it every once in a while. You've got to become obsessed with it. And that's why I love talking about reprogramming so much. We are patterns. That's all that we are.
We come in this world with all of the hardware that we need, then we get conditioned, and that's the equivalent of the software being installed in us. And some of us have a lot of viruses that we need to uninstall that we got installed in childhood. And so that's our job. You can't always control your first thought, but you can definitely control your second thought.
And with enough repetition, and I don't mean like 30 days or 60 days, I mean like two years, five years, 10 years, your second thought will eventually become your first thought. That is you reprogramming yourself. And so the question is, are you willing to give up your old life and your old self and all that familiarity in order to create the life that you want?
Because if you're not, it's not gonna work. because that's what obsession really comes down to. It is all out focus and devotion. It is the repeated decision to stop worshiping your old identity and to start worshiping the future that you're building. And yes, I use the word worship intentionally because some of you have built an altar to your insecurity. It's like you worship your insecurities.
You visit it every single morning. You bring it offerings. You give it your energy. You give it your excuses. You give it your dreams. And then you wonder why you feel empty. Take your power back. Become unavailable for entertaining the same limiting belief for the 4,000th time like it's a Netflix series that you can't stop watching.
At some point, you have to say, I've studied this fear long enough. I have repeated this pattern long enough. I have defended this identity long enough. And I am done being loyal to a version of me that's not even happy, or that's not fulfilled, or that's not even close to my full potential. That's the real shift. Because most people don't stay stuck because they don't know what to do.
You know what to do. Everybody knows what to do to be successful. 90, 95% of an idea, you know what to do, right? Is there some extra stuff you can learn? Sure. Everyone knows what they need to do to create a new life. But they stay stuck because they are emotionally bonded to the old self instead of the new one. So your job is to make the new self emotionally real. Visualize them.
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