Chapter 1: What nostalgic TV experiences does Michelle Jalowski share?
Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm your host this week, Michelle Jalowski. It's hard to remember a time before Netflix and Hulu and on-demand TV. Even though I grew up without all those things, I'm one of those millennials on the cusp who had a pretty analog childhood, it's been a long time since I watched TV on an actual TV.
In this episode, we have two stories about old-fashioned television magic. Our first story is a blast from the past and put me right back to childhood, on the couch, in front of the TV. Jessica Lee Williamson told this story at an LA Story Slam where the theme of the night was respect. Here's Jessica live at the Moth.
When I was 18, my little sister, for my birthday, she gave me this journal that she had written in the front cover. It said, to Jessica, if you don't make it as a talk show host, maybe you'll make it as a writer instead. Happy birthday. Okay. And when I was 18, that's the only thing I wanted to do with my life. I was obsessed with the idea of being a talk show host.
I would just come home from school and just sit on the sofa and go through Rosie O'Donnell, Maury Povich, Geraldo, just down the line. And it wasn't my personality that squashed those dreams. It was Geraldo Rivera and his live studio audience.
I lived in Maryland, which was like three hours away from New York City, and they would always show on the talk show, they'd say, if you want free tickets to send away. So I had to send away to all of them. I got tickets to all of them, including Geraldo. I got four tickets, and I invited the people who I thought were the coolest people I knew.
And we had this plan to go up to New York City and go see the show live. And then everyone bailed on me. And I was devastated. And so my mom was like, I'll drive you up there and go see Geraldo with you, which was horrifying. And then when we got there, this producer came out and said, who wants to take part in today's show? And I rose my hand because I had this desperate need for attention.
And I guess Geraldo's producers had a desperate need for people with a desperate need of attention. Because they picked me to be in their show, even though the theme was women who date the wrong men.
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Chapter 2: How did Jessica Lee Williamson's childhood dreams shape her story?
I was only 18 years old and I had only dated two guys in my life, but to be fair, I was technically a woman and they were both technically really wrong for me. I guess it made for really boring television because Geraldo was like really trying to pump up the drama by pouring on the pity. And after asking me about my dating experiences, he just kind of grabbed my hand and was massaging it.
And it was really weird because he had this, I think it's a Star of David tattoo in the web between his thumb and his index finger. And that's all I could stare at while the cameras are on me. And he just kept massaging my hand and saying, you poor girl. How are you ever going to find the right man? And it made me really uncomfortable.
And I tried to diffuse it with a joke, a really bad joke, something along the lines of, well, I guess I'll just dye my hair blonde because every guy I've ever met always likes girls with blonde hair. But it didn't come out as a joke. It just came out like a sad person.
Chapter 3: What embarrassing moments did Jessica face on a talk show?
And then that was when the studio audience turned on me and gave me this group lecture on self-respect. Most of it's foggy, but I remember one woman standing up and just shouting, girl, don't ever change yourself for a man. At this point, I didn't realize... The level of humiliation I had made it to, you know, I still was like, oh, this is going all right. I think this is going all right.
My mom is a man-hater. I'll just put that out on the table right now. She's also Cuban and talks too much, and so she was in the audience kind of talking to herself, and then Geraldo noticed. I don't even think he knew she was my mother. He just saw this woman who had something to say, and he was like, you look like you've got something to say to her. Why don't you stand up and say it?
And all I could think was like, oh my fucking God, my mother's going to embarrass me so bad right now, like not realizing how badly I had embarrassed myself. And she stood up and she's, I mean, she's like a talker. It's like... She goes on and on and on. You're just always like, get to the point.
And so she gave this really dramatic monologue on women and honoring themselves and having self-respect. And I was just dying the whole time. And then the audience stood up and gave her a standing ovation. And then on our way out, they were still telling me, like, you can't dye your hair blonde. You're pretty just like you are, giving me this pep talk.
And this many years later, I definitely did learn something from it in terms of self-respect of not changing myself for a man, but nothing in terms of getting up on a stage and humiliating myself in front of hundreds of people. Thank you.
That was Jessica Lee Williamson. Jessica Lee Williamson is an artist and television writer living in Los Angeles. Her credits include I'm Dying Up Here, Medical Police, and F is for Family. Jessica has also told a whopping 39 stories on Moth stages all around the country.
If you want to tell a story at the Moth, remember you can go to our website, themoth.org, to pitch us your story and find information about upcoming slam dates.
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