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Chapter 1: What valuable life lessons has the host learned in the last five years?
Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today's podcast title is five valuable life lessons I've learned in the last five years. And this episode, this discussion was inspired and motivated by a recent podcast I was listening to. This was a Craig Groeschel podcast.
And it was all about the most challenging lessons he learned in leadership in his multiple decades of leadership and being a pastor. And I'm also going to reference one of his that he spoke about. But as I was listening to him speak, I was on a run, it was a five mile run and I was listening to this podcast and it really spoke to me and really connected with me.
And I started reflecting just back on how much I have grown as a leader over the years and the experiences and lessons that I've learned.
Chapter 2: How does purpose influence fulfillment in our lives?
So I got back from the five-mile run, it's about two weeks ago, and I just started jotting down some of the things that I've learned and I believe have been extremely valuable to not just my professional life as the founder and CEO of BPN, but also applied to my personal life and being a husband, being a father, and ultimately leading myself as well. So we'll start with number one.
We need purpose and meaning to truly be fulfilled. I think we all know this, but oftentimes glance over it because we get lost in the day-to-day. And I once heard a fellow founder and entrepreneur describe the day-to-day of building a brand and building a business. And They described it as blocking and tackling.
You know, we have this big vision for our life and we have these massive goals that we're trying to chase down and accomplish. But life is complex and complicated. And over days and weeks and months and years, we might work towards this objective, this vision and these goals.
Chapter 3: What does it mean to rise and dive in leadership?
big picture perspective and approach. But in the day-to-day, it sometimes doesn't feel like we are making progress because we are literally blocking and tackling. Obstacles pop up, problems arise, distractions are placed in front of us, and we are in a defensive position Battling, fighting, blocking and tackling things as they pop up, get in front of us, we're trying to get around them.
From the day to day, it's easy to glance over and miss purpose and meaning and fulfillment. Because for many of us, some days feel like we're just trying to survive. I saw this Instagram post the other day and it really connected with me, really spoke to me. And it was this dad who has young kids and he was filming himself running in the dark in the rain.
And the caption summarized, can't remember exactly what it said, but summarized, it said that for all you other parents out there with young kids who are getting five hours of sleep a night, I see you. And don't try to compare your life to someone else's life who doesn't have as many responsibilities. And that really just like hit home for me, spoke to me.
Chapter 4: Why is selflessness considered a keystone to life?
As a husband and father with two young kids, I average six and a half hours of sleep a night, but there are nights where I'm not sleeping. nearly enough or as much, but still waking up and getting after it day after day. Because if it matters to you, you will make time.
And when you're in those moments, trying to survive day to day, getting a little bit of sleep, taking care of your kids, spending time with your family, show up to work, building your professional career, it's challenging. And it's really easy to lose sight of the bigger picture, the thing and things that really do matter, truly do matter.
And if we're not careful, we will get lost in the day-to-day. We will become distracted in the day-to-day. We have to be rooted in
Chapter 5: How does pride lead to self-destruction?
in a greater calling, a larger purpose and meaning in life to truly be fulfilled. One of my favorite books, and I've shared this before, is Halftime by Bob Buford. And it talks about how the first half of your life is focused on success. And after many of us experience a halftime moment,
we have this renewed mind and we realize that the second half of life is no longer focused on success, but it's focused on significance. And I've also heard people describe the first half of your life as you are working to build and accumulate. And the second half of your life, you are working to give it all away to people you love and friends and family and your kids.
Chapter 6: What are the consequences of living a hurried life?
That could be materialistic things. It could be your money. It could be your time, your energy, anything. But in the book Halftime by Bob Buford, he says that people are at their largest, their noblest, and most virtuous when they are given over to a cause, something larger than themselves. We are at our best, our largest, our most...
Noble, virtuous, when we are working towards and for something larger than ourselves. True purpose, true meaning. I'm also a really big fan of Arthur C. Brooks. He teaches a very popular class, I believe at Harvard, on happiness. And this class... It books out every year instantaneously. And there is a wait list to get into this class of hundreds of people. He is also an author.
Chapter 7: How can we create margin in our lives to avoid rush?
He has multiple articles published on happiness and fulfillment. And one of his books called From Strength to Strengths is one of my favorites. And it talks about life transitions and how to navigate and manage the many life transitions that we go through. And he talks about happiness a lot.
And happiness is something that a lot of people want to learn about, want to experience, want to hear how to be happier. This is one of the reasons his classes fill up so fast and there's a wait list from hundreds of other people. Brooks says that happiness is not a feeling. Happiness is a combination of three things. Enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. We need purpose. We need meaning.
Not only to be fulfilled, but also to be happy. And you need a portfolio from what Arthur C. Brooks says. of four habits to experience happiness. Your portfolio of four habits are faith, family, friends, and work. Faith being a perspective, a piece on life much larger than you. You need to get small in order to be happy. You can't be God and never will be God. You can't be the cause.
You can't be the purpose. You can't be the meaning of not only your life, but everyone else's life. That makes you selfish. We have to get small in order to have a much larger cause that we are living for. A purpose, a meaning, faith, family, friends, and work. Those are the four habits within our portfolio that contribute to our happiness.
I'm going to keep leaning into some of Arthur C. Brooks' work here for a second. He also talks about the difference between complex and complicated problems that we experience in our life. And I share this because I hope this gives some perspective of
why you may be struggling and why I have in the past struggled with feeling or experiencing fulfillment, contentment, because my purpose and meaning in life wasn't secure. It wasn't rooted. It did not have an identity. Brooke says that there's two types of problems that we experience in life, complex and complicated, and they're different.
Complex issues or problems cannot be solved or fixed with technology apps or quick fixes. They can only be experienced, managed, and lived daily. Complicated problems have technical solutions, whereas complex problems are relational, emotional, and unpredictable. Happiness and purpose are not puzzles to be solved, but rather ongoing, messy processes.
And true enjoyment requires a mix of pleasure, people, and memory. And true satisfaction comes from the struggle toward a goal rather than just achieving it. So that first valuable life lesson that I talked about, we need purpose and meaning to be fulfilled. I think at this point, we know what purpose and meaning is. Purpose and meaning is something much larger than ourself.
It is like Bob Buford said, a cause, something larger than ourselves that we are living for, that we are serving, that we are glorifying. We have to get small. Faith is getting small to then have a purpose that is rooted in something larger. So we've identified what purpose and meaning is, but what is fulfillment? What does it mean to be truly fulfilled?
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