PDB Afternoon Bulletin | December 31st, 2025: The 2025 Stories We Didn’t Cover On The PDB
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It's Wednesday, the 31st of December. The clock is ticking on 2025. Is it just me or did the past year go by in a complete blur? Welcome to the year's final episode of the PDB Afternoon Bulletin. I'm Mike Baker, your eyes and ears on the world stage. And I cannot wait to see what 2026 brings. And the PDB team will be here morning and afternoon to keep you informed as we make our way through the new year. All right. Let's get briefed. Now, usually when I say, all right, let's get briefed, that means we're about to take a look at the most pressing international and national security stories of the day. But since it's the last afternoon bulletin of the year, the PDB Board of Advisors decided that we should do something a little different.
We're going to set aside our usual coverage and highlight some of the year's more bizarre and entertaining stories that obviously didn't make the cut for coverage in 2025. Our first story takes us to Virginia, the state of Virginia, where a drunken crime spree went viral. And of course, I'm talking about everyone's favorite liquored-up raccoon. You may have seen this story by now. Earlier this year, police responded to reports of a break-in at a liquor store, only to discover that the suspect was still inside. Surveillance footage showed the culprit helping himself to alcohol, knocking over bottles, and generally behaving like a customer who'd been over-served. Officers eventually found the suspect hiding in the ceiling.
The suspect, it turned out, well, was a raccoon, a trash panda, a wash bear, and he was very, very drunk. At the time, it seemed like a one-off, maybe a bizarre encounter between law enforcement and a raccoon who'd made some poor life choices. The animal was safely removed. Reportedly, the police took his car keys and had him Uber home. No humans were harmed, and the story quickly went viral for obvious reasons. But as it turns out, the liquor store break-in wasn't his only crime. Police later revealed that the raccoon had a bit of a rap sheet. Investigators connected him to at least two other break-ins in the area, including incidents at a nearby karate studio... and another business. In those cases, the raccoon forced entry, rummaged through the premises, and caused property damage before disappearing back into the night.
Authorities believe it was the same animal, based on timing, location, and, this part's important, the method. Apparently, the raccoon had a consistent approach to crime, which is something that most humans never quite manage. The liquor store incident just happened to be the one where he stayed long enough to get caught on camera, and intoxicated enough to forget his escape plan. Police described the animal as disoriented when found, we can all relate to that, and yes, intoxicated from his evening rager. It appears that peanut butter whiskey, by the way, was a particular favorite. He was taken into custody, briefly, and then released back into the wild, presumably to sit and reflect on his choices.
There were no charges filed, no mugshot released, just a hungover, masked marauder sleeping it off in the woods, dreaming of his next caper. All right, our next story finds us in Nantucket. Now, Nantucket, of course, is a small island off the coast of Massachusetts. It's known as a haven for posh, wealthy folks. There's a saying, apparently, that millionaires live in Martha's Vineyard, billionaires live on Nantucket. Full disclosure, I have been to Nantucket numerous times, oh how posh am I, and it is indeed a remarkable, lovely place with more than its fair share of high-end compounds. Now, normally Nantucket is known for quiet beaches, of course, expensive real estate, and people who wear sweaters tied loosely around their shoulders.
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