If the harshest voice in your life is your own, you’re not alone. In this video I map John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen” (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling) onto our inner dialogue to explain how self-abuse forms—and why it’s so hard to escape.Then I show you how to rebuild the relationship with yourself using two levers: high commitment (taking “give up on me” off the table) and realistic standards (dropping the inhuman bar). Expect practical reframes, not platitudes—and a path out that’s hard, honest, and doable.If you’ve been withdrawing, sabotaging, or fantasizing about disappearing, this is your sign to try again—with better tools and a fairer contract with yourself.Get my ⁠5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles⁠.Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly⁠⁠⁠.⁠2 Unique ways to work with me⁠⁠Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps⁠⁠ with my Sleep Workbook.⁠⁠⁠My book: For When Everything is Burning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Connect with me on TikTok⁠⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.But I do care.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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