Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

The Psychology of your 20s

386. 26 lessons I've learnt in 26 years

19 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What reflections does Jemma share on turning 26?

0.031 - 20.602 Unknown

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Over the last couple years, didn't we learn that the folding chair was invented by black people because of what happened in Alabama? This Black History Month, the podcast Selective Ignorance with Mandy B unpacks black history and culture with comedy, clarity, and conversations that shake the status quo.

0

20.642 - 37.333 Unknown

The Crown Act in New York was signed in July of 2019, and that is a bill that was passed to prohibit discrimination based on hairstyles associated with race. To hear this and more, listen to Selective Ignorance with Mandy B from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

0

37.554 - 56.372 Ben Higgins

You can scroll the headlines all day and still feel empty. I'm Ben Higgins, and if you can hear me is where culture meets the soul. Honest conversations about identity, loss, purpose, peace, faith, and everything in between. Celebrities, thinkers, everyday people, some have answers. Most are still figuring it out.

0

56.692 - 68.689 Ben Higgins

And if you've ever felt like there has to be more to the story, this show is for you. Listen to If You Can Hear Me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bowen Yang.

0

68.85 - 69.712 Nat Rogers

And I'm Nat Rogers.

69.732 - 92.305 Ben Higgins

During this season of the Two Guys, Five Rings podcast, in the lead up to the Milan Cortina 2026 Winter Olympic Games, we've been joined by some of our friends. Hi. Hey, Elmo. Hey, Matt. Hey, Bowen. Hi, Cookie. Hi. Now, the Winter Olympic Games are underway, and we are in Italy to give you experiences from our hearts to your ears.

92.986 - 98.955 Nat Rogers

Listen to Two Guys, Five Rings on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

101.821 - 124.082 Ben Higgins

In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband.

125.26 - 153.411 Ben Higgins

Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpride became the victim of a random crime. The perpetrator was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything. I was a monster.

Chapter 2: What are the most significant lessons learned in the past year?

1034.956 - 1039.503 Ben Higgins

But it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark.

0

1040.064 - 1045.272 Gemma Speck

You're a dangerous person who preys on vulnerable and trusting people. Your creditor might go up in good.

0

1046.197 - 1055.235 Ben Higgins

Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bowen Yang.

0

1055.255 - 1056.217 Nat Rogers

And I'm Matt Rogers.

0

1056.237 - 1078.813 Ben Higgins

During this season of the Two Guys, Five Rings podcast, in the lead-up to the Milan Cortina 2026 Winter Olympic Games, we've been joined by some of our friends. Hi! Hey, Elmo. Hey, Matt. Hey, Bowen. Hi, Cookie. Hi. Now, the Winter Olympic Games are underway, and we are in Italy to give you experiences from our hearts to your ears.

1079.494 - 1085.468 Nat Rogers

Listen to Two Guys, Five Rings on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1088.182 - 1090.686 Ben Higgins

What if mind control is real?

1090.946 - 1094.01 Unknown

If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have?

1094.03 - 1097.155 Ben Higgins

Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car?

Chapter 3: How can reflecting on personal experiences be therapeutic?

1407.305 - 1432.191 Gemma Speck

Some pagan traditions also have a similar thing of serving others first or giving to others before you give to yourself. That's important for me, especially given the state of the world right now. And just having a good gratitude practice is... So essential, like hold tight to that stuff. That's a big lesson. You need it. You need spiritual practices to make you feel nourished.

0

1433.072 - 1460.346 Gemma Speck

Similar to this, when you are feeling terrible about the world, be kind to small creatures. This is such an important lesson. Again, with the state of the world right now, It's very easy to feel very despondent, duh. It's very easy to feel terrible about the world. I like to imagine that humanity is this big experiment and there is this higher power who is judging our experiment only

0

1460.326 - 1475.803 Gemma Speck

on whether it was good or bad and whether humanity is succeeding or failing. And it's my job every single day to do something that proves the experiment is working and to do something that proves the hypothesis that humanity is good.

0

1475.783 - 1502.045 Gemma Speck

And there is, this is going to sound a bit, a bit weird, but I imagine that there is this like tiny telescope or like microscope on me and they are watching me positively interact or watching people positively interact with each other and checking it down as evidence that people are good. and taking care of small creatures, honoring their lives, appreciating them is a way that I do that.

0

1502.946 - 1524.792 Gemma Speck

Life is hard for little things, life is hard for small creatures, and sometimes knowing that not just killing the ants that are in my house, or not just killing the fly that's in my car, or stopping for birds, or saving a pigeon, or something like that, knowing that I have kindness for them makes me feel like a higher power will have kindness for me.

1524.772 - 1551.017 Gemma Speck

I don't know it just it makes me feel connected to what's around me that's an important lesson lesson number 11 If there is an opportunity to go to the beach, you should always go. The older you get, the more you realize the healing power of water and the healing power of nature. It's called the Lassa therapy. I'm a big proponent and I'm going to say nothing more about that lesson.

1551.057 - 1572.016 Gemma Speck

I feel like that one's pretty obvious. Lesson number 12, work hard at something, even if it feels meaningless, whatever it is. Typically, I feel like we save all of our hard work for others. I honestly think we save all of our hard work for our boss, for our parents, for our co-workers, for people we want to impress.

1572.717 - 1596.396 Gemma Speck

Save some of that hard work for you and use it for things that feel personally meaningful. There is so much good that comes from working hard, even if at the time it seems like there's no point or like nothing is going to come from it. Working hard on a novel, no one's going to read. Working hard on improving your running, even though you're never going to be a professional.

1596.797 - 1608.34 Gemma Speck

Working hard on perfecting a recipe just for yourself or whatever it is. So much personal reward for me has come from the joy I've just found from working hard professionally.

Chapter 4: What is the importance of friendships and conflict resolution?

2562.304 - 2593.002 Ben Higgins

If you've ever felt like there has to be more to the story, this show is for you. Listen to If You Can Hear Me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime.

0

2594.945 - 2605.922 Ben Higgins

He pulls the gun, tells me to lie down on the ground. He identified Jermaine Hudson as the perpetrator. Jermaine was sentenced to 99 years imprisonment.

0

2607.404 - 2611.089 Unknown

I'm like, Lord, this can't be real. I thought it was a mistaken identity.

0

2612.451 - 2634.323 Ben Higgins

The best lie is partial truth. For 22 years, only two people knew the truth. Until a confession changed everything. I was a monster. Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

0

2637.762 - 2667.44 Gemma Speck

Lesson number 20, you do actually feel better when you exercise more and drink less, which sucks. See, I like alcohol. I do. I like alcohol. I also, I like exercising, but I wish I didn't have to do them as much as I do. Or I wish that like, I could go to the gym like once a week and drink every night and feel amazing. And it's just not how your body is, right?

2668.722 - 2690.772 Gemma Speck

When I was definitely – when I was younger, when I was like 17, 18, 19 and I was at university, I would like – we would like binge drinking. We were like drinking every single night and nobody was blinking an eye. And we would like go on like one 5K run or like play some like Frisbee once a week and And I remember being like, oh, why do I feel so tired?

2690.812 - 2715.981 Gemma Speck

And like, why am I exhausted all the time? And why do I feel disgusting? And then slowly, like, as those habits became more and more difficult to maintain and more and more repulsive, and you start adding some exercise back in and you start realizing that drinking on a Monday with your pals is probably not healthy. I was like, wow, I actually feel better. And my habits are a reflection of like,

2716.653 - 2736.833 Gemma Speck

the quality of life that I want and how I want to live my life. So that's definitely been an important lesson, one that I wish wasn't true, but unfortunately is. You do feel a lot better. To go in a completely different direction here, lesson 21. Wait 24 hours before making an impulse purchase.

2737.494 - 2755.907 Gemma Speck

I feel like these are all tips of just like learning impulse control and learning what it means to be healthy financially, emotionally, physically. I had a real impulse shopping problem when I was probably like 22, 23 in my like early 20s when I first got like a proper job.

Chapter 5: Why is it essential to prioritize self-care and personal growth?

3733.675 - 3759.524 Gemma Speck

causing me more pain than they should have and that were making me unhealthy and unhappy. Like I felt so imprisoned by them because that's how I'd always done things. And I'm just realizing more and more like my life doesn't have to be bad. I don't have to suffer more than what I'm already going to naturally suffer just by being alive. And I have a choice in a lot of that.

0

3760.245 - 3786.615 Gemma Speck

I have a choice to go to therapy. I have a choice to get on medication. I have a choice to change my mindset, to have healthier habits. I have a choice to prioritize and deprioritize relationships and certain things in my life that are making my life harder. And I just felt for so long like everything was just being handed to me and I had to accept it.

0

3786.595 - 3812.991 Gemma Speck

And maybe the biggest lesson from my 26th year and hopefully again my 27th year is that that is not true. And I can opt out of the circumstances and the things and the patterns of behavior that are making me suffer and that I don't want anymore. And it's hard and it's difficult and I definitely make a lot of excuses. But I'm at this point where I'm like, I want to live a life of ease and

0

3813.528 - 3838.04 Gemma Speck

And I want to live a life of being as carefree and stress-free as possible, not as busy and successful and brash and loud as possible. And I just think that's been a huge, massive priority change. And maybe that's a lesson that you're learning as well, or that's a lesson that you need to hear. You don't have to. to suffer. You don't have to suffer more than life is going to make you suffer.

0

3838.52 - 3852.563 Gemma Speck

Those are my 26, 27 lessons from 26 years. I hope that they've, I don't know, taught you something that you've related to them. Maybe it's validated an experience that you're having.

3852.543 - 3863.201 Gemma Speck

If you are listening on Spotify and you have made it this far, I want to know, give me a lesson that you have learned in the past year, past six months that wasn't on this list that you think other people could learn from.

3863.221 - 3886.622 Gemma Speck

I feel like every year there's this new knowledge popping into my mind and I've definitely forgotten things that were important lessons, but I'd love to hear from you guys and I'd love to hear your experience. Make sure that you are subscribed, following, wherever you are listening. If you are in the US or Canada, you can listen to this episode on Netflix.

3886.642 - 3911.956 Gemma Speck

Actually, should I say you can watch this episode on Netflix. I'm so used to saying listen, but you can watch on Netflix and I would love it if you did so. Make sure that you are as well following us on Instagram. And thank you for listening to this episode and for being a massive part of the last five years of my life. Almost all of my 20s. I don't know. I'm getting closer to 30.

3911.976 - 3922.306 Gemma Speck

I have to decide if I'm going to do the psychology of your 30s or what's going to happen. So I guess time will tell. But be safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.