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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work they love, and create amazing relationships. I am Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw, and we are here to take your calls. And you can call us at 888-825-5225, and we'll be answering your questions on life.com.
and money and career relationships all of it all of it so let's get to the phones this hour we have amy in pensacola hi amy welcome to the show hi how are you we are doing great how are you good
I'm really, really excited to be on the phone. I have a bunch of questions, but my husband and I are definitely in need to help with overall financial plan. We have more than over a million dollars in debt. What's it in?
Chapter 2: How do Rachel and Jade address a couple's $1 million student loan debt?
What's the debt in?
Well, we went through a really long school life. Okay. So our student loan was a million when we graduated. Oh, my gosh.
Wait, you can't just cruise past that. You got to tell us more.
What are your degrees, then, Amy?
So we are both in dental specialists. So, you know, college, well, we actually didn't have any loans for college. Dental school, we had loans. Specialist residencies, we actually didn't have loans because my husband served in the military.
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Chapter 3: What advice do they give about financial success in Baby Step 7?
So they pay for that. So just dental, four years of dental loan, we have a million dollars together.
Okay, but you earn a lot of money, right? I sure hope so.
So now we came down to like $750,000, so we're proud of it. But since he's in the military, we don't actually earn that much money. But the good news is he's getting off of military and we're going to start a new job where we should, our minimum income will be about $600,000.
Okay, so wonderful. That's good. Is this a business that you're opening a practice together? Is that what it is?
Actually, no. So we wanted to make sure our life is in a little bit less of a mess before we even think about opening our own. Sure. That would require a lot more capital.
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Chapter 4: How should one approach financial discussions in a relationship?
You just said we, so I didn't know if you were working together or you were just going out and getting separate jobs. We are working together in a practice together, but we don't own them. And combined, you'll be making $650,000. That will be a minimum, yes. When does that start? Uh, summer.
Okay. So soon. And these are guaranteed jobs and salary. Like this is what you're going to make.
Yes. So it's a per production. So, you know, that's going to be a minimum. And if you make more, you know, you're going to get more.
Well, that's the great news of this story, Amy. So for you guys, I mean, I would work to live on 70K and you throw everything at this debt and you get it paid off in a year and a half and be done and then go right off into the sunset making $600,000 a year debt free.
Like your numbers sound really big, but ratio wise, it's the same as the person who calls in and makes $60,000 a year and has $100,000 of debt. Like that's right. It's it sounds a lot because a million dollars is just a big number, but the ratio is the same. How are you living right now? Like tell me about your numbers right now. What what is rent cost? What are you bringing in right now?
So that's another question. Thanks for asking because that will be my next question. Because we now technically own a house but not pay off. Okay. So we are planning on, well, in the beginning before I started listening to you guys show, I wanted to either rent this place and buy another place in our new job will be because we have to move. If you sell it, what will it bring?
Doesn't bring much because our financial advisor told us to pay as minimum as possible. So we actually didn't pay that much off. Okay. We bought this not that long ago, actually, not even three years ago. So we are trying to sell this and then...
OK, but Amy, talk in real numbers, because right now you're saying like it's all kind of up here. I want to know real numbers. If you buy if if you're moving, give us more details. If you move, where are you moving from and then where are you moving to? If you sell the house, how much will it bring and what do you plan on doing with that money?
Like give us a few more details so we can really dig in with you.
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Chapter 5: How can I address financial control in my marriage?
And that might be really clear, like really important to make clear to him. Zero based budget simply means. We've talked about that.
OK, so he knows. So at the beginning of this call, Sharon, you mentioned that he is.
he's more the one that's controlling all the finances what does that mean does that mean do you have a debit card to your account that you share with him and you go and buy the costumes for the kids or how is the money flow happening right now i do have a debit card i spend very little of the money out of the account without at least clearing it with him first because i'm so blind to why it's there why why do you feel the need to ask his permission
Because we don't have a budget, so I don't know what money is there and how to use it.
Okay, let's get down to it. Because our screen says, my husband has been withholding money, has been withholding finances from me for our entire marriage. And that sounds different than what you're saying. So help us understand.
Well, yeah, he does withhold all of the information about the about the account. Yes.
So you don't want to you ask permission to spend because you have no idea what money's in there. So it's just you're you don't want to blindly spend with the debit card.
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Chapter 6: What steps should I take to regain financial independence?
Can you not log into the do you have login information, Sharon?
I don't currently have the login.
Have you asked it for him? And he what does he say?
I have asked him for it, and I have tried to look at it. I'm not here recently, but I have tried to look at it, and I'm so overwhelmed. Like, I don't even know where to start.
So he gave it to you or he didn't give it to you? Um... He logged in himself. He logged in himself and let you look over his shoulder.
Oh, Sharon, that makes me nervous. Yeah, I think at this point, I would be okay with you having your own account. But hear me say, Sharon, that this, it's going to fix one part of it, that you're going to have money to be able to spend, but it's not gonna fix your marriage.
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Chapter 7: How do I balance financial priorities with my partner?
This is a temporary solution to really dive into the deeper parts. Because Sharon, what makes me nervous is, and we've seen situations like this, that if you don't know where the money's going, I would be very highly concerned that there's stuff going on in other parts of your marriage that you have no clue about. Yeah, you don't know what he's hiding. Do you feel that? Yes. In some ways, yes.
Okay. Yeah, I would start laying down an ultimatum with him. And again, this is, and for anyone listening right now, this is regardless of Sharon is the breadwinner or not, okay? So her making the money, great. But even if Sharon was a stay-at-home mom, my viewpoint would be the exact same.
Because as a married couple, as you guys, you are a team working together, and he has control issues, right? And sometimes, Sharon, and I'm going to just say this, and you can correct me in here, but sometimes it puts you in a dangerous situation with a lot of abusive husbands. They use a level of power and control that you can't even go to the grocery store.
Chapter 8: What are the implications of investing with debt?
Has there been abuse in your marriage in the past 20 years? Physical abuse? No. Okay. Never. Do you feel in danger? Do you feel like there's danger in your home?
No. No. I feel like my husband is very insecure, and so he's trying to keep hold of the money so that I can't leave. I know that sounds terrible.
No, it doesn't. No, that's the truth. That's very real.
That's what's going on. Yeah.
Do you guys have kids?
We do. We've got two kids. How old are they? Almost 9 and 13. They're both about to have birthdays. Okay.
Okay. Um, yeah, I would, I would have an ultimatum conversation and it is, you're going to give me all this login information.
Yeah.
And I, I want to see everything that's been going on. Any bills. Do you know how many credit cards he has?
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