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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions it's the ramsey show where we help people build wealth do work that they love and create amazing relationships i am rachel cruz hosting this hour with best-selling author dr john deloney and man i'm getting over something but my voice sounds terrible now that i'm hearing it in my ears sounds all like smoky and sultry like hey everybody welcome to the world headquarters of ramsey solutions it's winter it's winter i blame the weather
Well, it is a free call, and as Ken Coleman would say, a toll-free call anywhere in the country.
Because he's 141.
888-825-5225. Give us a call. We'll talk about your money, your relationships, your work, and your life. All right, first up, we have Stacey in Atlanta. Hey, Stacey. Welcome to the show.
Hi, Rachel. Hi, Dr. John.
What's up?
Perfect pair for this question. My mother recently passed away from dementia.
I'm sorry.
And when my brother and I sell her house, I'll come into some inheritance. And.
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Chapter 2: What should I consider when buying long-term care insurance?
But yeah, go ahead and get a second opinion and maybe even a third opinion, right?
Shop this. Please don't buy a whole life policy. Please, please, please, please. Not good. And just, Rachel, that feels like a snaky thing.
From her financial advisor?
Yes. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels gross to me that they're going to sell you on an expensive product when you went... Yeah, it just feels gross. It feels gross, gross, gross, gross.
And the whole thing about whole life, Stacey, you have to understand because a lot of... There are financial advisors out there that sell these kind of products. And either... them themselves know that they're getting a great back end. And so they're just like, hey, we're going to kind of push this product because we're making something off of it. Or some of them are just ignorant.
Some of them literally have been sold this bag of goods too. And they believe that this is the best thing. But when you run the numbers and you actually look at the options, Stacey, it's terrible. Like it is. And so stay away from anything, universal life, whole life, all of it, because they do. They try to tack on all these different types of insurance and it becomes extremely expensive.
And if you had invested part of that money, right, if you went and did long-term care insurance with someone else, it's just purely long-term care. There's no insurance, whole life parts of that.
There's no package.
Yeah, and you invested the remaining part. How much you're going to have left too, Stacey, for your kids, right? So there's so many different options. Go ahead and price that out, but do not, I would not go with that product at all.
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Chapter 3: How can I effectively manage my mortgage and inheritance?
So really expensive, not covered by insurance. So we went into debt last year and, you know, then adopted this program, got on a budget. And just like you guys said, getting on a budget, like suddenly we had a rain and we had money to start paying down the debt, which is why we've been able to pay down the debt in the past few months. You know, our cars are all over 10 years old.
You know, we have a really low mortgage payment. It's just this, I have five kids and they eat a lot and just a lot, a lot coming in and out.
Excellent. Okay, I totally get that, man. Kids, yes, they will eat everything, all things, and then more. I know it sounds so trite, but don't just hang in there. Celebrate where you are. And I know you're like, ugh. And with five kids, $200 feels like somebody could sneeze and you're going to spend $200. I get that.
I would lean on my husband's optimism in this season and then keep grinding away at it. Keep grinding away. I'll tell you this, on the back end, You are providing your kids a life-changing picture of what hard work looks like, what breaking chains looks like, what changing your family tree looks like.
When things that are hard come up in their life, which they will, economic problems, war, relationship issues, their own financial issues, they will have a crystal clear picture of the time mom and dad didn't even get each other something for Christmas because they had something bigger in mind that was changing their family tree.
They will remember the months mom worked every day of the week and missed recitals and missed games and made us cook our own dinner because she was so focused on setting the family free. None of your efforts are lost. It's disappointing that you didn't put 3,000 bucks down, you only got 1,000 bucks down, but man, you are changing everything. I'm proud of you, proud of you.
Yeah, no, absolutely. And I think that's a fear from a lot of parents is, Is, oh, my gosh, I'm going to miss out on this time with my kids. Like if we're doing this for 18 months, even you saying I'm missing recitals and practices and all the things because I'm sacrificing to get us in a position where we can actually breathe as a family.
A lot of people see that as complete detriment, but it's not.
there could not be a better lesson I promise you if you have to decide well my kids got a travel soccer game that I just have to go to or hey son I want to sit down we're going to have breakfast together at the house we're going to have cereal because that's what we're eating right now we're going to have oatmeal I'm working really hard to get our family out of debt and so I'm going to miss this game I'm going to be thinking about you I want you to call me the moment you walk off that field but I also want you to know your daddy or your mom's working really hard to set this family free
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of combining finances in a relationship?
How many people have you talked to who went to Disney World with their kid and all their kid comes back talking about was the hotel pool? Right? Just your kids want you. That's right. They want you. They want you. They want you. So have the conversation if your finances are tight this year.
And if your finances are not tight this year, don't use Christmas as a way to sing and dance in front of your kids. Like they don't want your song and dance. They want you. That's right. They want you. That's right.
All right. Let's go to the phones. We got Kelsey in Austin, Texas. Hey, Kelsey. Welcome to the show. Hey, y'all. Merry Christmas, and thank you for taking my call. How are you guys? Merry Christmas, Kelsey. I don't think I've said that yet on the show.
And that was a good Texas. Hey, y'all.
That was awesome.
Thank you guys so much. So my question is, my husband and I are in Baby Step 2, and we have a really great opportunity to move back home to North Carolina and start the process of taking over a 100-year-old family business. But we are about like we'll be lucky if we break even on our house here just outside of Austin.
And so really my question is, do we wait until we have more equity in our home to move or do we kind of take that opportunity and like try to just break even with our house here?
Yeah, I wouldn't wait.
I was going to say, I've bought and sold multiple houses in my life, Kelsey. And one of those times, because the economic incentive on the back end was so important, I ended up having to take a check to closing. I technically lost money on my house. Not a lot. It was a little bit. It was like 4,000 bucks. That was the check I had to take to closing, which sounds bananas.
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Chapter 5: What insights do Rachel and John share about defining a meaningful life?
And you're like finding deals. So after we stopped running for our lives, meaning we didn't owe anybody anything, my wife and I asked a question. What kind of life do we want to have? And what do we want that life to feel like? Not like, what do we want? Well, we want another house and more cars. That's not what we asked. When you walk in the door, John, what do you want this house to feel like?
Hey, my wife, when you walk in the door, what do you want the house to feel like? And what must be true for that to happen? And what that did is I'm still as ambitious and busy as ever, but I'm ambitious and busy about different things.
And in a weird way that I wish I had learned 20 years ago, financially, we're doing better going after things that make our lives more whole than I did just running around like a maniac trying to not be on fire anymore.
right does that make sense yeah yeah that's sort of where this question arose from we had a talk a couple days ago and i was sort of like where do we want to be in three to five years from now mind you we're 25 and 24 so we're just trying to get ready for our whole lives and so we're like well we want kids in a few years and whatever so we sort of want to just have this goal of paying off the house early before we have kids and get that out of the way so we sort of have this freedom to do things yes wouldn't necessarily have and i think that's sort of what you're saying but listen are
I want you to ask a different question because everybody asks the question, where do you want to be in three to five years? You know, five years ago, how different the world was? Three years ago, how different the world was, right? So we can't control what happens in the world. One iota, zero. But I can control what I want my house to feel like when I walk in the door.
And when I walk in and it's COVID, when I walk in and I'm a professor, when I walk in, I'm a dean of students, I walk in and I'm a YouTuber. I can decide through the world we've created what that's going to feel like. You see what I'm saying? So go out five years.
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Chapter 6: How should I approach financial decisions during a life transition?
What do you want this house to feel like? I want there to be a kid and I'm pregnant with kid number two and you're laughing and X and Y and Z. All right. What has to be true? Well, for me to walk home laughing, I can't owe anybody any money for me to walk home laughing. We have to have like somebody else cutting the grass for once. You see what I'm saying?
We're going to reverse engineer how we want this thing to feel. Who we want to be. Not like, how much money are we going to have? What kind of car? Because you'll start cutting corners to get that money. You'll start cutting corners to get that new car. And all of a sudden, you're going to end up with a hectic, chaotic life and a bunch of toys. Or you've gone on a nice vacation. You have a pool.
And y'all are still the same hustling, exhausted people.
And I think you guys are experiencing some wins really early in life, which is amazing. And I think what can happen is that feeling can be so addictive where you're like, oh, my gosh, we got to get the next and the next and the next and the next. And what John's saying, too, is there's depth in all of that. And you can do the same action, but your motivation is different.
So check that motivation and you and your wife sit down and have that conversation because it's a good one to have. Thanks, Michael, for the call. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney. And our Ramsey Show question of the day is brought to you by Neighborly, your hub for home services.
Neighborly is one place that brings together a nationwide family of locally operated providers to help you take care of repairs, routine maintenance, and home improvements. Go to Neighborly.com slash Ramsey today to get started on your search.
All right, today's question comes from Adrienne in Georgia. Adrienne writes, my fiance and I are in our 70s.
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Chapter 7: What steps can I take to manage my finances after a significant life change?
Ah, the girl, Adrienne. I love it. And planning on marrying in the next six months. Dude, yes. We're going to end up at the end with no tread left on the tires. Good for you. I've heard your advice on always combining finances as a married couple. However, I'm not sure if that's a reasonable path when both parties have children from previous marriages. What's the best approach here?
Oh, that's a great question.
That is a great question. Yes.
Yeah. Because, you know, they're, Yes, you guys as an entity, as a married couple, you're going to be dealing with finances together. You're going to be doing paying household bills, like working as a team on all of that. But it always raises an interesting point when there are grown children involved from previous families.
And, you know, do you suddenly combine the family just because you got married in your 70s and everyone's equal? You know what I mean? Like all of that. And yeah, and I lean towards keeping it separate still at this at this stage of life. I mean in my head, I'm like, like your immediate family before this marriage was pretty much done. I mean, like grown kids, you've done your job.
You've made your life. This is something different. That's right, exactly. This is somebody like, let's just party until the wheels fall off. Like, let's do this together.
Right, right, right.
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Chapter 8: What strategies do Rachel and John suggest for dealing with debt in a crisis?
So I'm all about combining your incomes at this point, seeing yourselves as one, because you guys could still have 20 great years. 20 more years, that's right. So as much as a team aspect that you can do, I mean, all of my advice would be the same, but I would say things like estate planning, wills, stuff with grown kids.
If you want to keep all of that more separate and his money that he brought into the marriage maybe is divvied up among his kids. I don't know.
Well, this is one of the very few times, and again, this matters a lot. If neither of them have anything, it doesn't matter. Right, right. but if either of you or both of you have any sort of wealth or an estate this is one of the rare times when I would be okay not only okay but I would recommend a prenup and here's why you're not protecting each other
you're protecting the your husband or wife if one of you passes away from cousins and kids coming out of the woods that is going to take stuff from you so it might be that i don't i don't want if um rachel if you and i were married and i died i don't want my kids suing like i don't want that mess yeah so i want both sides to be protected here but i do think for the sake of your marriage whatever money social security coming here dividends coming here
I think they should go in the same pot. Yes, yes. And we're going to make married decisions about bills. We're not just going to be roommates for the next 20 years.
Right, right.
We're going to be married. So let's do it. Let's do it right.
Absolutely, yeah. And that's not just from the technical aspect and the logistics side of it, but there's also an emotional part of this. I mean, Andrea, when you really do see yourself as one, and this is if you're 70 and getting married, or 27 and getting married, there's an emotional connection there that's really beautiful. And I don't want you guys missing out on that.
Even for the 20 years, maybe you guys have together in the vein of like, well, we're just adults now and we've done this all ourselves. So we're gonna just keep it separate. I think you guys miss a level of intimacy and connection
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