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The Ramsey Show

Don't Let Debt Take A Toll On Your Relationships

08 Sep 2023

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

29.883 - 55.553 Rachel Cruz

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing, healthy relationships. I am Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, hosting this hour with my good friend and fellow Ramsey Personality, Dr. John Deloney. And we are answering your questions, and it's a free call anywhere in the country at 888-825-5225.

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55.533 - 62.061 Rachel Cruz

So starting us off this hour is Sarah in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hey, Sarah, welcome to the show.

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63.382 - 64.243 Shayna Goldman

Hello, how are you?

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64.664 - 67.167 Rachel Cruz

We are doing great. Thanks for calling. How can we help?

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68.649 - 97.926 Shayna Goldman

Okay, so we have a really old family car that probably doesn't have a whole lot of time left. And we're also trying to save up for Baby Step 3. And I feel like we have to do both at once because our emergency fund is really small and our car is really old. Yeah. So my question is, number one, is that a good idea? Should I be doing them together or should I break them up into separate goals?

98.687 - 101.471 Shayna Goldman

And what's a reasonable timeline to accomplish both of them?

102.052 - 107.239 Rachel Cruz

Sure. Well, how much do you guys make a year? About $130,000. Okay.

107.259 - 107.359

Okay.

108.301 - 115.931 Rachel Cruz

And for this car that may be leaving you soon, how much do you think, if you Kelly Blue Booked it, what would you get it for?

Chapter 2: How can I balance saving for Baby Step 3 and replacing a dying car?

233.701 - 236.786 Dr. John Deloney

You said $1,400. I was like, man, your kids eat way less than my kids.

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237.587 - 240.051 Shayna Goldman

No, no, no, no. $14,000. We have five kids.

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240.251 - 240.852 Dr. John Deloney

Yeah.

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240.872 - 246.2 Shayna Goldman

Yeah, yeah. And I homeschool, so I don't bring in any money, even though I work all the time. Sure. Yeah.

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246.521 - 247.021 Rachel Cruz

Yeah.

247.041 - 247.542 Shayna Goldman

Yeah.

247.562 - 268.104 Rachel Cruz

OK, well, here's the deal, Sarah. I mean, your car, we talk about the four walls, food, shelter, utilities, transportation. Transportation is is a to a degree a need. Right. Especially for one car, for one person to leave the home, earn money and come back. But there are a lot of families, you know, I'm not suggesting this, but just say it out loud. People do the one car family a lot.

268.225 - 270.507 Rachel Cruz

I mean, that that's a reality as they're in this process.

270.487 - 275.295 Dr. John Deloney

There's always four or five couples. Somebody's dropping somebody off here at the office because they're trying to get out of debt.

Chapter 3: What should I do if I have a small emergency fund and a dying car?

515.944 - 549.407 Rachel Cruz

Keep it up. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney, and we're answering your questions when it comes to life, to money, everything. So, 888-825-5225. It's a free call anywhere in the country. Up next, we have Carly in Fargo, North Dakota. Hey, Carly, welcome to the show. Hi. Hello. Thanks for having me. Absolutely.

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549.427 - 550.969 Rachel Cruz

Thanks for calling. How can we help?

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552.552 - 562.628 Shayna Goldman

So I just have a question about me and my husband. We are buying or hoping to buy my parents' house. And I was just wondering if we are ready to do that.

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563.509 - 566.074 Dr. John Deloney

All right. Is your family ready for that?

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568.277 - 572.864 Shayna Goldman

I don't know. So we would be living with them in the transition of everything.

573.245 - 575.809 Dr. John Deloney

So you're going to buy their house and they're going to keep living in it?

577.038 - 580.222 Shayna Goldman

Yeah, for a little bit, and then they are building and moving.

581.364 - 583.807 Dr. John Deloney

No, they're not. They're going to stay with you forever.

583.827 - 586.05 Rachel Cruz

Oh, stop, John.

Chapter 4: How can I prioritize paying off debt while managing family dynamics?

1443.616 - 1451.25 Rachel Cruz

Again, if you pre-order, you get a bunch of free great stuff, and it will be delivered in your mailbox October 3rd. Awesome.

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1451.23 - 1473.082 Dr. John Deloney

And for those of you that can be in the Nashville area, October 5th, we are going to have a Madhouse live event here on Ramsey's campus. October 5th, 7 o'clock. It is going to be wheels off. We're going to have a book launch party. I'll be speaking. We'll have some guests show up. Don't miss it. You can get on RamseySolutions.com and check out tickets and all that. Get tickets there. Awesome.

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1473.102 - 1473.603 Dr. John Deloney

It's going to be fun.

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1473.803 - 1479.752 Rachel Cruz

So great. All right. Up next, we have Casey in Fayetteville. Hey, Casey. Welcome to the show.

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1481.437 - 1483.62 Shayna Goldman

Hey there. Thank you so much for having me. I feel grateful.

1484.081 - 1485.743 Rachel Cruz

Oh, well, thanks for calling. How can we help?

1487.325 - 1509.655 Shayna Goldman

Yeah. So, um, I am currently serving active duty in the army. Um, I actually just completed 10 years. Um, thank you for your service. Oh, I appreciate that. Thank you. Um, unfortunately I've sustained some pretty significant injuries that is requiring me to be medically separated, hopefully medically retired, just depending on disability rating and all of that. Um,

1510.141 - 1534.307 Shayna Goldman

My question to you is I have remaining debt that I have is $10,000 in student loans. Um, and I'm kind of in a pickle where I have the money to pay them off. Um, right now, however, um, my situation is if I get a high enough disability rating, the VA takes care of those loans for you. Um, now I expect to be separated probably by next spring.

1535.008 - 1548.099 Shayna Goldman

My guess is March, April, just given how long these things take. Um, Obviously with the, you know, interest rates kicking back in and payments, you know, starting back up in October, it's kind of made me sit down and think about this. Like, do I want to just go ahead and knock this out?

Chapter 5: What are the implications of accepting financial help from family?

3398.352 - 3405.948 Rachel Cruz

But he didn't want to pay for it. He didn't want to pay for it. Well, can we say this real quick, Lindsay? Let's just say, oh, this is a good problem to have.

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3405.968 - 3406.91

Yeah, usually it's the opposite.

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3406.93 - 3418.452 Rachel Cruz

Usually it's the opposite. And they're like, my parents have to come and live with us because they're broke. So I would say on the... I don't want to say better or worse side, but we're probably on the better side.

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3418.472 - 3419.473 Dr. John Deloney

If you have to pick a side to be on, yes.

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3419.513 - 3422.037 Rachel Cruz

I would pick your side, Lindsay. Just know that. Just know that.

3422.158 - 3422.298 Dr. John Deloney

Yes.

3423.199 - 3424.001 Rachel Cruz

I'm very grateful.

Chapter 6: How can you balance financial independence with accepting help?

3424.101 - 3449.395 Dr. John Deloney

I remember being a young kid, and I went into my granddad's garage, and he had coffee cans in there. And in one coffee can were nails that he straightened. And another coffee can was just string that he picked up when he would go for his morning walks. And I remember asking my dad, why does he have cans of straightened nails and string? And he said, your granddad fought Nazis.

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3450.296 - 3460.98 Dr. John Deloney

Your granddad knows what it's like to be somewhere and they're coming for you. Your granddad went through the Great Depression. Your granddad understands.

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3461.1 - 3466.13 Rachel Cruz

And so that stuff gets- Understands suffering at a level that- There is no stores to buy nails at.

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3466.15 - 3481.178 Dr. John Deloney

There's no metal left to buy nails, right? And so that stuff is not just a decision at some point. That stuff gets wired into your nervous system when you're a kid. And so I'm thinking about your dad being born, what, in the 40s and 50s in Poland and

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3482.525 - 3486.95 Shayna Goldman

Well, he's first generation born here in 41. Okay, okay.

Chapter 7: What are the best practices for discussing financial support with family?

3486.97 - 3487.89 Shayna Goldman

Same thing, yep.

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3487.911 - 3489.252 Dr. John Deloney

Okay, with parents that got out?

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3490.573 - 3490.813 Shayna Goldman

Right.

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3491.134 - 3513.352 Dr. John Deloney

Yeah. So he's wired into his little one and two and three and four and five-year-old nervous system. This is how you live because it can go bad at any second, right? And so now he's 81 in the most prosperous time in human history, and his daughter's like, Dad, will you buy a Coke, right? Right? What do you want him to spend money on?

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3516.336 - 3527.911 Shayna Goldman

Vacations or if I can find an example like the newspaper that he loves so much, maybe magazines or crossword puzzles or something to keep his brain active.

3529.733 - 3532.056 Rachel Cruz

How much money does he have?

3534.339 - 3539.506 Shayna Goldman

Okay. You may not even know. 160. I'm the person.

Chapter 8: How can you ensure financial security while maintaining relationships?

3539.526 - 3544.847 Shayna Goldman

160 in cash. Okay. And $30,000 in a 401k.

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3546.029 - 3547.612 Dr. John Deloney

Okay, so he doesn't have a lot, right?

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3547.993 - 3553.443 Shayna Goldman

No, but $400,000 in a paid-off house. Yeah. So his house is paid off.

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3553.463 - 3554.745 Rachel Cruz

He doesn't have many expenses.

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3555.646 - 3562.258 Shayna Goldman

Right. He's got no debt. He's got very little expenses. Electric, and that's it. The property taxes are reasonable.

3562.278 - 3567.249 Rachel Cruz

And what's he living off of? Social security only.

3567.99 - 3578.192 Dr. John Deloney

Well, and so to be stark, he is one heart episode away. He can burn through 160 plus 30 in an afternoon in an ER.

3580.062 - 3580.904

OK.

3581.385 - 3587.135 Dr. John Deloney

And so his his his tentativeness is too far by a newspaper for crying out loud.

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