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Chapter 1: What financial dilemmas do listeners face in relationships?
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I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, host of The Dr. John Deloney Show, my co-host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. Jack's in New York. Hi, Jack, how are you? I'm doing very well. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. How can we help today?
Chapter 2: How can one navigate unexpected wedding expenses?
Oh, I hope you can help me. My mother, after Dad died, went on a series of cruises. And as you may or may not know, on cruise ships, they have art auctions, where basically you're buying overpriced art after you've had a few drinks and everything. And my mother, on a series of six cruises, spent $1.1 million on cruise ship art. You can't get into our house.
There's so much cruise ship art in the bedrooms and everything. My brother and I are trying to sell it at auctions and stuff. We're only getting 10 cents or 20 cents on the dollar. And I know you good folks have seen it all. I thought maybe you could give me a suggestion or something.
This is a new one for me, Jack. Well done, brother. Wow. Wow.
That's disturbing. Yeah. So how many cruises?
I believe six or seven cruises, and she kept it from the family.
You guys didn't go inside of her house for six or eight months?
Oh, no, we would go in, and we saw some art there, but she had it in the garage. And after time went on, it got worse and worse. So we did see some of it when we went into her house. And we said, okay, Mom's spending five or six grand. She's worth a lot of money. She wants to have a little fun.
Then she just kept doing it, and we kept trying to get her to stop, but she would just disappear and go on cruise ships and keep buying all this stuff.
Is she broke now?
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of financial decisions on family relationships?
Good question. She's living comfortably as opposed to super comfortably. So she's getting by. She's not worried where next meal's coming from, but the little extras, that's where she's struggling with.
There's not another million dollars to buy art with.
No, thank goodness. No, there is not.
Does she recognize she has a problem?
She did towards the very end. And we had no idea she was spending that kind of money. Again, we thought, it's not good, it's sloppy. But she saved all her life. She was a use the same teabag twice type of person. And she just, I think she lived with her parents, got married to my father, who would have squashed it in two seconds.
How long after he passed did this go on?
It started about, oh, I'd say a year and a half to two years after he died.
So this was her wicked, weird way of grieving. Wow.
Man, I'm sorry.
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Chapter 4: How to address spending issues within a partnership?
Yeah, I got that. I got that.
But still, I mean, if you love somebody and they're doing something stupid, you stand between them as stupid. But so Bozo has no backbone. All right.
The only thing that pops into my head, and I have no idea, is if I were you guys, I would get in touch with the cruise line and try to work your way into the publicity side of the cruise line or the customer service side of the cruise line and say, you know, here's what has happened on your cruise line. Was it all on one line?
I think so. Yeah, probably. But it's the same company concept.
And I would just say here's what's happened on the line. So we have a widow here that you all accidentally took extreme advantage of. We're not saying there was malicious intent on the part of the crews, but the crews just took a million dollars from her for art that's not worth a million dollars.
We're going to ask you to buy it back and put it on the cruise ship and resell it and make your money back as a PR decision.
Okay.
Because you don't really want me telling the whole world on social media that your cruise line took a million dollars from a widow. And I'm getting ready to. Okay.
And I honestly don't think you guys did it on purpose, but I do think you need to do something about it because you should have had some kind of checks and balances in place because you've got widows and old people cruising with you every day. And if you guys are taking advantage of the other people at this level, even if you don't mean to, you should stop it. It's wrong.
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Chapter 5: What is the cost of grad school in Europe?
How much will grad school in Europe cost? It's $30,000. Okay. And what is she studying?
It'll be diplomacy from a very high caliber university. Okay. What does she want to work for the state department?
Yeah. Okay. All right. And to be able to say you graduated with your master's from Cambridge or whatever is a big deal. Okay. I'm with you. I made that up. You didn't say that. All right. And so you have the $30,000? Yes.
So I just graduated college last year. I have $130,000 in a brokerage account.
Okay. So you write a check and pay for it. And then what?
Yes, I could. So I also have a car that's worth $25,000. I own it. And I think we might just sell it since we're both going to be gone. We don't need it.
Okay, that'd be okay.
And then my Roth has been maxed for the last five years.
No, we don't need to touch that. We have the money between the car and the brokerage account to pay for this easily. So she's going to be in grad school how long? One year. And you're going to be deployed how long? 12 months. Where? Can you say?
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Chapter 6: How should I manage my finances during a divorce?
No, I can't. Okay.
All right. And I'll be, my paycheck will be for the next 12 months, it'll be $100,000 untaxed. Okay. Combat zone.
Okay.
Yeah. I mean, it sounds pretty cut and dry.
What's the question? You have the money. She wants to do it. You're going to be separated anyway. This is her desire. It apparently has value. It adds value to do it there, according to her, and I don't doubt that, actually, the way you're describing it. What's the question?
I guess, is it smart to pull money from a brokerage that has made almost 30% per year the last half decade for that?
What's your other option?
I guess I have the car to sell.
Yeah, sell it. You can sell it anyway. Or I could just cash flow it. All of that's okay. Yeah. Anything's okay. You're overthinking it.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of pulling money from investments?
But before you borrow any money, we definitely cash out brokerage, car, any of that's fine.
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Hey, I'm doing all right. How are you guys doing?
Better than we deserve. What's up?
So I'll just get right to it. Somewhat recently, my wife informed me that we would be getting a divorce. Ouch. How long have you been married? Going on six years.
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Chapter 8: How can I prepare to start a veterinary clinic?
The answer was always no, and then one day it's just, hey, I'm done.
Wow. Okay.
I'm sorry.
That hurts. Pardon? I'm sorry. That hurts. Yeah. So how can we help today?
So my question is, when we first got married, we purchased a house with cash using inheritance of hers. Now that things are kind of coming to a close, I'm trying to understand what the kind of moral settlement to ask for would be, considering I didn't contribute financially to the house itself. Now, every bill since, everything I've covered, she hasn't worked for some years now.
She's been going to school, and I've supported her through that. But just basically because of the method that we used to buy the house, I'm just curious, what's the most honoring way to her, myself, and God for me to proceed as we try to figure out a settlement?
In a lot of states, they will return her inheritance to her and then split the overage with you. And that would be fairly normal. So what did you pay for the house when you bought it?
$500 originally.
Okay. So she'd get the $500 back. And then what will it sell for now?
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