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The Ramsey Show

My Parents Just Told Me I Owe Them $114K

26 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What financial advice is given regarding repaying 529 funds?

5.06 - 9.214 Unknown

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14.425 - 38.973 George Kamel

Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined by bestselling author Jade Warshaw. If you know, you know. Give us a call at 888-825-5225 and we will do our best to help you take the right next step for your life and your money.

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39.454 - 42.357 George Kamel

Sarah is going to kick us off in Chicago. What's going on, Sarah?

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43.501 - 44.802 Unknown

Hi, thanks for taking my call.

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45.143 - 47.184 George Kamel

Absolutely. How can Jade and I help?

48.486 - 71.027 Unknown

So I'm 30. My husband's 31. Our household income is about $235,000. My parents had set up a $529,000 plan for me when I was young, which I ended up using to pay for the majority of my undergrad and grad schooling. I did take out a couple of federal loans just to cover the remainder of my grad school, which we still owe about $35,000 on.

71.446 - 81.705 Unknown

Recently, my parents asked me to pay them back roughly $114,000 for the money that I used from my 2529 plan. What?

82.005 - 87.415 George Kamel

Come again now. So is that the money they put in or was that the balance of the account?

88.577 - 89.919 Unknown

That was the balance of the account.

Chapter 2: What should I consider when dealing with family loans?

147.333 - 150.857 George Kamel

All sums paid to you. Yes.

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152.118 - 163.08 Unknown

This is diabolical. I definitely didn't understand that when I was signing it. I kind of understood it more as like my... requirements. You know what?

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163.1 - 169.01 George Kamel

Let him take you to court. I think this would be a hilarious way to end the relationship with his daughter. What a way to go.

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170.372 - 170.953 Unknown

This is wild.

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170.973 - 177.745 George Kamel

Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. What was your relationship like prior to this with your parents and or just dad?

178.872 - 185.322 Unknown

Are they broke?

185.943 - 194.416 George Kamel

Like, what's the underlying reason why now, you know, over a decade later, they're like, hey, remember that contract you signed when you were a child?

194.716 - 212.17 Jade Warshaw

Yeah, have they brought it up at any other point other than now? And how long have you been out of school? I graduated grad school about a year and a half ago. Okay. So, okay. When you brought it up or have you brought it up?

213.247 - 227.528 Unknown

Um, I just basically asked them, I told them I wasn't aware it was a loan. And what'd they say? They sent me the contract. They sent me the contract and then they said, let's talk about it. And so we're going to talk about it tomorrow, which is why I'm calling.

Chapter 3: How can I navigate a difficult conversation about financial expectations?

429.938 - 432.686 Unknown

Yes.

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432.746 - 444.96 George Kamel

Yeah, because it's been in there for, I don't know, 15 years.

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444.94 - 469.125 George Kamel

which you can if you want to keep the relationship alive you can never repay this and again he can try to come after you and i don't know what if he has any legal standing to come after you from a dad to daughter you know 529 perspective uh but i would i would honestly if you want to consult with your own attorney and say hey what is actually in this does this actually hold up should i actually be worried what is actually my obligation based on what i signed i would at least get that clarity

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469.358 - 480.982 Jade Warshaw

And Sarah, here's another thing. Here's another take for you because there is a relationship here. How does this make you feel, first off? Forget the money part of it.

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482.044 - 496.368 Unknown

I'm a little hurt by it and blindsided, like you said. My whole life I was like, oh, my parents kind of, I was really grateful for them setting me up. I'm in a really good financial spot right now. I think you need to tell them that.

496.548 - 501.677 George Kamel

You need to share that. I'm grateful. And I didn't understand what I was signing.

502.012 - 518.222 Jade Warshaw

And also tell them how you fear this could affect your relationship. I think if you lead with your heart on this and how you're really feeling and the gratefulness, the blindsidedness, how you're afraid for the future of the relationship, keep it less about money, I think you might have a better shot.

519.625 - 523.412 George Kamel

Goodness gracious. Diabolical. What are we doing, parents? This is insane.

541.297 - 568.35 Unknown

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Chapter 4: What steps should I take if I feel blindsided by family financial demands?

679.677 - 695.957 George Kamel

This may not be for you in this season. This is for people who are on baby step four or higher. Exclusive. You've paid off the consumer debt. You have the emergency fund. You're investing for the future. This is your chance to mark the milestone and celebrate big. When is it happening, Jade? February.

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696.457 - 700.562 Jade Warshaw

Oh, gosh. I laid you up, Jade. I know, but I was formulating another thought.

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700.602 - 701.102 George Kamel

I'm sorry.

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701.583 - 702.764 Jade Warshaw

Go ahead and do it.

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702.844 - 708.331 George Kamel

March of 2027, which means you have plenty of time to budget for this trip.

708.631 - 719.263 Jade Warshaw

And you can get the cabin now. If you're like right up on it, this should be your goal. Like I need to pay off. I need to get my baby step three in place so that I can sign up. That's what I was thinking of when you asked me.

719.243 - 741.436 George Kamel

Yeah. If you will be in Baby Step 4 by the time the cruise is happening. And here's the cool part. It gives you time. All you need to do right now is lock in your spot with a $600 deposit and cabins are limited. This will sell out again. And here's the really cool part. We want to really get people stoked on this. So right now you can save up to $300 this week only when you book by February 1st.

741.456 - 755.047 George Kamel

This is not a gimmick. The price will be going up. After February 1st. So book now. Get $300 off. You can lock in your spot with a deposit. I can't wait. March 2027. Wow. It's going to be the cruise of the year.

755.528 - 759.578 Unknown

Sailing takes me away.

Chapter 5: What financial strategies can help me build wealth after leaving an abusive situation?

3834.146 - 3852.736 George Kamel

Like if you want to win with money, it's still the same playbook. Budget like your money depends on it. Avoid debt like $10 lattes and build wealth on purpose. But here's the truth almost nobody tells you. Most banks make money when you lose yours. They want you swiping, overdrafting, and racking up fees because that's how they stay rich while you stay broke.

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3853.117 - 3871.342 George Kamel

And that's why I tell people to go with Fairwinds Credit Union instead. They actually want you to win with money and become debt-free. And their smart bundle gives you a no-fee checking account, a high-yield savings account, and my favorite, the new Ramsey-branded debit card that says debtisnormal.com. Be weird. Right on the front. It's not just a piece of plastic with your money attached.

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3871.602 - 3876.608 George Kamel

It is a declaration. It says you're not buying the lie anymore. You're taking control of your money for real.

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Chapter 6: How should I address my partner's debt before proposing?

3876.968 - 3912.283 George Kamel

So this year, forget the gimmicks from the big banks. Forget so-called rewards that keep you broke. And instead, partner with a credit union that actually backs you working the baby steps. Go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey to get started. That's fairwinds.org slash Ramsey. Insured by the NCUA. Up next, we've got Jennifer in Memphis. Jennifer, welcome to the show. Hi. Thanks for having me.

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3912.583 - 3914.287 George Kamel

Absolutely. What's your question today?

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3915.97 - 3935.88 Unknown

My question is, how best do I approach a conversation with my husband who recently purchased a home as an investment and without telling me, had no knowledge, didn't know it was a plan. It came up fast, I guess, and called me after he did it.

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Chapter 7: What should I consider when my spouse makes significant financial decisions without me?

3936.861 - 3961.621 Unknown

And my question on that is how best to approach that conversation? Do I approach it from a financial perspective of understanding can we do this or more so in the fact of the personal side? I'm struggling being a numbers person. focusing on the financials rather than the emotional side. So that's my question on how best to approach that.

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3962.063 - 3963.428 Jade Warshaw

Oh, when did this happen?

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3965.073 - 3965.615 George Kamel

Yesterday.

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3965.916 - 3989.925 Jade Warshaw

Oh, okay. listen this takes impulse purchase to a new level this is wild i applaud you the fact that you had enough self-control to be like i'm not gonna even mention this are you like you've held this to a radio conversation i applaud you because i would have been like what um so good job that's great how did this all come about as far as him telling you like what what happened here

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3990.833 - 4000.185 Unknown

Well, so long story short, this is his goal. He's good at it. The man has a 2% error rate in life, which frustrates me.

4000.606 - 4003.29 George Kamel

He's got a 100% error rate with his marriage.

4004.391 - 4010.219 Jade Warshaw

Yeah, well... How mad are you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does this just, like, hack you off?

Chapter 8: How can I effectively communicate about financial decisions in a marriage?

4011.701 - 4028.487 Unknown

You know, it's surprising, because normally it would, like, I'd lose it. The fury is not my normal fury. Okay. So I'm trying to, like, listen and go, is this... Is this an opportunity to have a discussion? Because we do struggle with his impulse control because he is a very smart person.

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4028.507 - 4033.362 George Kamel

The fact that you're not shocked by this tells me there has been a pattern of this your whole marriage.

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4033.595 - 4043.627 Unknown

This is the biggest. Usually I'm involved, but we've done some pretty high stakes investments that he researched. He's smart. So he's not impulsive, I wouldn't say.

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4043.667 - 4051.276 George Kamel

Hold on. He has a high risk threshold and you've trusted it. He's impulsive. He bought a house without telling you on a whim.

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4052.417 - 4063.633 Unknown

Well, it wasn't a whim. So come to find out, he's known about this. He's researched it. It was an auction. Okay. How much? In... $750,000.

4064.434 - 4065.896 George Kamel

Oh man. Was it cash?

4067.258 - 4075.228 Unknown

No. Um, we, we have very good net worth. Um, what is it? My net worth?

4075.649 - 4086.843 Jade Warshaw

Yeah. About two to 2.1 million. Is it all real estate or is some of that, can you tell us what that is? Yeah. Majority real estate.

4087.043 - 4107.777 Unknown

We have very, very good equity in our home. Um, And then we have an investment in some land that's in high, very nice area. So it's worth quite a bit. And then we've got some other assets. So our cars are paid off. Okay, good.

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