Chapter 1: What financial struggles do listeners face in this episode?
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Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life from the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. This is the Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw. Next to me, Dr. John Deloney. We are taking calls from you all hour long. We're headed out to Seattle, Washington, where we have Shelby on the line. Hey, Shelby, what's going on? How can we help today? Hi.
Yes, I'm calling and wondering if the way my fiance is splitting the finances with us, with me... Is it the right way? Okay. I can already tell this is going to be a fun call, Shelby. Yeah, tell us about the right way that he has it split now. Have you listened to our show before? Yes, I have, and I actually listen to you guys always. And, John, like Jane, I follow you guys religiously, so yes.
Okay, so whatever answer we give you, same team, right? Yes. Okay, all right, good. All right, let it rip.
Chapter 2: How should I handle a partner's financial irresponsibility?
So, long story short, my fiancé are a blended family. We do own a home together. I have three kids. He has one. My ex, who passed away years ago, left me in a financial situation where I did have to file bankruptcy before I got to my fiancé. I then built myself back up, got myself a very...
six-figure paying job you know moved throughout and now we have one joint checking but the mortgage is the only thing that comes out of that and then everything else venmo interesting okay your phone's breaking up a bit make sure you're somewhere where your phone's not breaking up you said you venmo each other yes all all hot relationships stay hot through venmo
So here's, there's some things going on here that might be outside of your belief system, but I'm just going to say it because I try to give the advice that I would do in my own life. And that I think is something that would really help you. So you've got the one account, all the money goes into it because both of you are paying for the mortgage.
And then who pays for, who pays for the other stuff? Well, so only the mortgage money goes into that one account. Right. But that comes a little bit from both of you, right? Yes, it does. Okay. Is it half and half? Yep, it's half and half. Okay. And then tell me how the rest of the bills and kids stuff and how that's divvied up. So things like Internet, power, garbage are half and half.
Groceries, we go back and forth on, well, you have two more kids than I do, so maybe you should pay for a little bit more. And I'm like, well, you knew how many kids I had coming into the picture. How do you think it should be? How do you think it should be?
I think we should each have our own accounts for spending and fun and leisure, and then we should combine the rest of our finances and majority of our finances and pay all the bills from one account. He is the father figure in my children's life because their father is no longer around. How long has he been around? How long have you guys been in this relationship together? Three years.
Okay, and when's the wedding? That's a good question. He wants to wait until we've been engaged for two years before we get married. Why? Oh, wow. I don't know. Is this like level two in his test? I feel like it. I mean, and I've watched your show many times before, and I'm just like, you proposed. Why? And he's like, well, I just, I want to make sure. That you're the one?
And that's what I said. I was like. You don't change? Here's the 100% guarantee.
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Chapter 3: What are the best strategies for managing joint finances?
Both of you will change. A million. My wife's on version like 41 of the idiot 24-year-old she married. Thank God, right? I'm glad I changed. The ring doesn't mean, and now I'm considering you for marriage. Yeah. That's not what the ring means. The ring is we're going to get married. I have decided you are the one I'm going to marry.
The engagement is just simply a planning period to have the party. That's really all it is. I agree. Let me ask you this. How much of – because I want to honor this. How much of your concern about – I need to have my own on the side here. How much of that stems from the absolute mess you were left when your first husband passed away?
In the beginning, I was terrified to join any type of finances with him because my late husband did everything. significantly put me in a bind where I like could barely feed my kids.
But now that I've gotten to know this man and I see him and he runs his own business, um, you know, I see the dedication of work that he puts in every day and that I am like, okay, yes, I am now comfortable with this. However, I would feel like my own account for like getting my hair done or my nails, you know, I'll still tell you, I think, um,
the nerd work the research data on this confirms it what we've been teaching for more than three decades all of it goes into the same boat and together you'll have the conversation about hair and nails and haircuts and shampoo like all of that stuff I have to tell you like just as a husband of a wife of almost a quarter century you're worth more than you're getting right now yeah
You're worth more than being in trial period number two. You're worth more than no marriage I've ever heard of. I'm sure they exist. And I get a... I get a sample size of the ones who are in crisis, right? I've never heard of a successful marriage where they're Venmoing and bickering over who – you like it colder, so you have to pay more of the electric bill. You know who does that?
19-year-old roommates who share an apartment. Yes. Not people who are ride or die till death do us part, like making a life together that they both want to be awesome. And I think that's part of, I think exactly what John said is part of the problem. There is a very shallow commitment here. And because of that, I think you're experiencing that. It's like, I'm only going to go so far in.
And you have your reservations as well that you're only going to go so far in. And I actually think it's a wonderful thing that you're not combining money right now. Because you're not married and this thing, even if you were the most solid engaged couple ever, I would still say, hey, right now you don't need to have your money combined because the deal is not done.
But I don't hear like a super solid engaged couple. And so the reasoning still applies. Now is not the stage to combine money. I understand that you guys are all living in the same household. And probably while you're in that scenario, yeah, having a fund where you both kick in your parts for the rent or for the mortgage, that probably makes sense for how you're choosing to live at this moment.
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Chapter 4: How can I support a family member in financial distress?
I would not push for marriage if you don't think this is the guy. But if you're like, this is my guy. I believe in him. I trust him. I trust that we're going to grow together and change together and we're going to be able to get on the same page. Yes, get married. But if you're having reservations, and I want to say this because you said I got burned before.
The calls that John and I get where people have been burned before, there were red flags. Yes. There were red flags and there were little behaviors that was like, ah, that doesn't feel right. And there was just this more and more of a separation that occurred. And so I want to tell you, if you can create a relationship that from the beginning, there is transparency. Everybody's involved.
Everybody. We may not think about things exactly the same or have exactly the same values, but we're both very, very interested. It's our priority to show up for one each other, for one another. So if he values something, I have to show up and show, hey, I care about it too, just because you care about it and vice versa.
And if you don't sense that or feel that or see proof of life in that area, you need to consider that deeply because, John, these are the things. Red flags are red for a reason. Yeah.
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All righty, back to the phone lines where we have Jonathan, who's in Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Hey, Jonathan, how are you doing today? Hey, Jade. Hey, Jonathan. Thanks for the call. I appreciate it. You bet. How can we help? Yeah, so my question today is just, how do my wife and I buy a house with a mortgage payment being around 25% of your take-home pay and the situation that we're in?
I'll give you a little quick details to hear if that's cool with you. Yeah, the more the merrier. So- Awesome. Awesome. So we've been written for seven years. We're debt free. We got debt free last last May, actually. And then we do have our three to six months of expenses. So we follow y'all's plan. And the dilemma is. I get paid $46,280 a year. Last year, I earned like $55,000 with overtime.
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Chapter 5: What should I do if I'm struggling to pay off a high-interest car loan?
What's that worth? About 4,000. It's an old, old truck. It's got a lot of high miles. That's your new daily driver, dude.
Chapter 6: How can I address financial irresponsibility in a relationship?
Yeah, that's your new daily driver. So, yeah, this is even better. We sell the motorcycle. I would still put the four-wheelers up because who knows? Maybe you can close that gap and get the 3,000.
Chapter 7: What factors should I consider when deciding to pay off a family member's mortgage?
I don't know what a four-wheeler's worth, but you need 3,000 to go with the 7,000. Then you sell the $30,000 truck, and you've got your diesel truck, your older one, sitting there ready for you to drive. This is what's called a clean slate. That gives you a completely fresh start. And it's not what you were envisioning, but man.
Chapter 8: Should I rebuild my house or buy a new one after a fire?
What's your trade, brother? I'm a welder slash heavy machine operator. Okay, can I tell you right now in our current world, a 21-year-old who is a licensed welder and heavy machine operator that has no debt, you know what you can do? Anything. Anything you want. You're one of the freest men on the planet. That sounds real nice.
But right now you got a dad who's struggling with cancer and you have a four-wheeler dealership saying, I don't care what's going on. You owe us money. You go to work. You have a diesel truck, evil people who just sold you a diesel truck over your head. And they're like, I don't care if your old man is getting sick, is about to pass away. You have to go to work because you owe us money, right?
And we're cutting all those chains today. Right. That sounds like a plan to me. Dude, welcome to your freedom, good man. Yeah, I'm proud of you. Listen, John, here's the thing. Whenever we get calls like this and the solution is so sweeping and it's just so extreme, it's like sell the car, sell the motorcycle, drive the old truck, get rid of the four wheelers. I am always so proud of the people.
Now, don't get me wrong. Like when we say that, I know they're going to get off the phone and they're going to sit in their car or they're going to sit, you know, in their break room and be like, okay, Like the true test happens now where he has the next, you know, 30 minutes to an hour to really think about what we said. And am I actually going to do it? Don't think. Just go. Just go. Just go.
Just go. Just do it. Just do it. The people who we're not saying just listen to us and don't think. But you know what we're saying is right. You know, it's the right move. Don't talk yourself out of it. Strike while the iron is hot. Change your life today. Just go ahead and do it. You won't regret it. Hey guys, George Campbell here. Listen, we need to talk about your phone plan.
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