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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. Jay Guashaw, Ramsey personality number one, best-selling author, is my co-host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. I'm your host, Dave Ramsey.
Chelsea is in Dallas, Texas. Hi, Chelsea. How are you?
I'm good. How are you?
Better than I deserve. What's up?
Well, the simple question is, should we sell our house, which should let us completely pay off all of our debt, rent for a couple years, save up, and then buy again? Wow.
Pretty bad out there, huh? Big move.
Yeah. Well, we bought this house recently. My previous house, my husband and I married in 2021. I bought a small home on two acres that because of COVID and everything that happened, it doubled in value. And so when we sold it, because it would only fit three of us and there were going to be four of us and now there's going to be five of us, we There wasn't a lot on the market.
We ended up buying something that was really at the higher end, but we were going to have about $40,000 in our savings account from the sale of that property since I basically doubled my money on it. And we put 20% down on this home as well.
Okay, so what do you owe on this home today?
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Chapter 2: How do I prepare financially for a custody battle?
We take home, it just kind of depends. I work at my church three days a week, and then I keep my niece during the week. But as I said, I'm coming up on some maternity leave, having a third, and so my income will be out of it.
So my husband brings home... Now, what do you make now?
Somewhere between $45,000 and $5,000 a month.
Okay.
Combined.
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Chapter 3: What should I do if I lost my job?
Depending on my hours combined. Okay.
And then your hours are getting ready to go away because of maternity. So you're seeing the pinch. So it's not really the debt. It's the house mortgage that's going to kill you.
Right. It already is.
It's already very high. Yeah. Well, and that $40,000 that we had had to go to pay for court fees because I had to take my ex-husband back to court to protect our son.
That doesn't matter. I mean, I'm sorry for that, but it doesn't matter. What matters is you have a $2,200 mortgage with a $4,000 take-home pay, and that's getting ready to go down.
Right.
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Chapter 4: How can I encourage financial transparency in my marriage?
And that's going to be your house payment. It's going to be 50% of your take-home pay. Now, when you say $5,000 take-home pay, do you mean after taxes or have you taken out 401K and other stuff out of that?
Correct. That's what comes into our bank account.
Okay. How much is going to 401K?
He has a state job, so I think we do as much as we can to match what the state puts in.
Do you have an idea of what a dollar amount might be? Just an idea. I don't. I don't. I'm so sorry. What about insurance? Do you have a dollar idea of what that might be, each check?
Insurance is like $700. Okay.
A month?
Yeah, he's covered completely for free, but it's like $700 whether you have one dependent.
So when we say $5,000 is coming into your check, but when we're talking about the ratio to your house payment, we mean just after taxes, not after 401K and after insurance. So we're going to add back probably $1,500 to this in terms of running the calculation. So the $2,200 doesn't sound quite as bad then until you quit work to have a baby, and then it starts sounding bad again. Right.
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Chapter 5: What financial transparency issues are discussed in this segment?
That's all you need. And you need a text number.
Yeah, a telephone.
And a phone. But you do not need a business card.
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Chapter 6: How can couples navigate financial disagreements?
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Kayla is with us in San Francisco. Hi, Kayla. How are you?
Hi, Dave. How are you? Thank you for taking my call. Sure.
What's up?
Hi. Yeah, I have a question. How can I get my husband to be financially transparent with me as far as bank accounts, debts and income?
So when you ask him what's his response, you tell me what you say and then you tell me what he says.
So I am not included in the bank account.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of not being financially transparent in a marriage?
I'm a stay-at-home mom, so when I ask him, you know, what is in the bank account, he never gives me an exact amount. He always kind of goes around it and says, oh, we're okay. We're doing okay.
Does he get upset with you if you continue to ask?
You know, he's, for the most part, a very calm person. He just kind of takes the conversation to a different direction. He tries to avoid all that.
So if you said, well, instead of you telling me the balance, can you just give me the login? That way I can check it whenever I want. What would be his response?
I believe he told me once that he would rather... And be in charge of the finances so that I wouldn't have to stress about it.
And you say, well, it's not stressful for me. I just want to see it.
I've told him that and he avoids it at all costs.
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Chapter 8: What advice is given for managing personal finances and investments?
How long have you been married?
We've been married for three years.
Okay. Okay. All right. Somewhere along the line, someone gave you guys a bad message about how our relationship actually works. And someone told him and someone told you that your vote doesn't count and your vote counts. So it just depends on how. crazy you want to get to make your vote count.
Because my prediction is this, that as long as you continue to build up resentment and anger inside of you because he's treating you like a freaking doormat, the longer that goes on, eventually you're going to blow.
And when you do, your marriage will be over, and no one will be able to talk you into staying because you will have put up with this for 10 years or 15 years or eight years or whatever, and you will have had it, and no one will be able to dial you back in.
I've sat in coaching sessions with couples and watched their marriage come to an end because they let this stuff go on and on and on and on and on, and finally they blow up.
Mm-hmm. Now, here's another take. I think Dave is right. Here's another way to consider it. I think that sometimes in these situations, when people want to prevent transparency, a lot of times it is because they have something to hide. And what's making me think that is because he's framing it in the way that you have the problem. Oh, I don't want, you'll be too stressed out.
You'll be too worried. You'll be the one, right? When really the problem is he has the problem and he's not saying, I just don't feel comfortable. I just need to get a grip. He's making it sound like you're the person who has a problem.
So that's a red flag for me, and I do think that this has to be brought to a counselor because whether it's what Dave said or whether it's what I said, both of those are not – you can't continue down that path that way.
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