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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm Dave Ramsey, Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author and host of The Front Row Seat. Fabulous show on Ramsey Network.
It's blowing up. He's my co-host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. The call is free, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. Lacey is in Seattle. Hey, Lacey, what's up? Hey. So my husband and I are kind of looking for a little bit of an outside perspective on a situation we're having. Okay. So our... My in-laws, his parents, helped us with a down payment on our house.
And now we're receiving a lot of, on my end, unsolicited financial advice about debts and what we're doing with our money. And I guess I just want to know how much influence I should allow them to have in what we're doing with our finances as a unit, the two of us. I don't know why they would have any. Do you owe them the money back? Do they loan you the money?
Well, they have a weird kind of situation. They've done this with my husband's sister as well. They kind of use it as a business strategy.
transaction with their kids so they'll help with the down payment on the house and in the future when the house is sold they would get their down payment back and a certain percent of whatever uh profit we would make on the house oh that was stupid you shouldn't have done that oh no that's horrible what an abusive mess yeah how much money did they give you They put $300,000 down on the house.
Wow. Yeah. And how much is your mortgage? Our mortgage is about $2,650 monthly. So you borrowed $250,000? We borrowed from them about the $300,000 that they put down. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't think that was a loan. I thought it had to only be repaid at sale. Are you paying payments to them? No, we're not paying payments to them. Okay, do you have a mortgage in addition to them?
Other than the in-laws, do you have a mortgage? No. Okay, so they paid cash for this house. So you bought a $300,000 house. The house was $800,000, and they put $300,000 down for us, and we are paying the remainder of the mortgage.
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Chapter 2: What financial advice is given regarding unsolicited advice from family?
So you have a mortgage, other than the in-laws, of $500,000? Yes, sir. Okay. And your household income is what? It's about $80,000. between the two of us. My numbers fluctuate a bit, but my husband's is $50,000 and mine's about $30,000. So you also bought a house you can't afford.
Yeah.
Your payment is, what, 30% or 40% of your take-home pay, right? It's about that, yeah. You guys are not going to do anything I tell you to do, I can tell. But you bought a house that you can't afford, and you bought it on terms with the in-laws that are absolutely cray-cray, ridiculous, and you've got a mortgage you can't afford.
So you're not going to do this, but what you should do is sell the house. And you get out of both problems, the mortgage you can't afford and the in-laws that you can't afford. This was kind of sold to us in, like, a dreamscape. Like, we'll do this for you guys so you guys can stay in town. They want us close to them. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're going to help you. You can't afford the house.
That's not a dreamscape. That's a nightmare. Yeah. It's a nightmare. You're broke, and they helped you get broker. They helped you. I bet they co-signed on this loan, didn't they? Yeah. Well, it's technically a lease-to-own situation. It's in their name. The house is in their name? Yes. Honey. Okay. So, Mom and Dad, we don't want the house. We can't afford it.
So, we need to put the house on the market so you can get your money back out.
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Chapter 3: How should one handle financial obligations to family members?
Because we can't pay this. Unless they don't want to do that, how do we? It's their problem because you can't afford it. Right. Yeah. But you're not going to do that because your husband, he's totally bought into this crazy family. It's dysfunctional. Yeah. Yeah. He's cut totally off. Yeah. These people are not a blessing. They're a problem.
I don't know what to tell you, honey, but if I were you, I would get out of that as fast as my hair was on fire. There's just everything. Every time you bury the lead, to start with, you didn't buy a house. Hello. You're renting a house, and your landlord is interfering in your personal life. Well, no duh. These people like control. They got their fingers in everything.
Yeah, I mean, this is, again, parents don't do this stuff, please. You're not being a blessing. You're being a butt. That's absolutely right. You're trapping this poor couple. By the way, the whole house was just a carrot to get them to stay locally. And that's the real freaky, scary thing here. And this is tough for her. Because if husband doesn't step up, she's stuck.
He's not going to step up. Yeah. He's not going to step up. He's got to rewrite the script in his mind that his parents who are such philanthropists are actually a curse. Yeah. And he had to rewrite his script to be able to sell this house, and he's not going to do it. And instead, what's going to end up happening is this is going to end up in divorce or bankruptcy or both.
Because this is not going to end well. It's not going to end well. These numbers are horrendous. And so here's an idea. Don't accept gifts that aren't really gifts, number one. Number two, when you buy a house and it's not in your name, you didn't buy a house. Someone else bought a house. Hello? Number three, rent to own is not owning. It's renting. Okay?
I mean, let's just use the words the way they're supposed to be used and get it out from under dreamscape. Shoot me. Oh, my God. There's nothing good about it. This is such a dysfunctional mess. The poor girl, bless her heart. Oh, man, I can't even imagine.
The last thing I want to do with my kids is to put this many wedges in between me and them because I got to tell you where I was on Saturday afternoon. I was sitting on my daughter's back porch eating hamburgers that my son-in-law cooked, and everybody was there, all the kids, all the grandkids. All 16 of us were back there, and we had no discussions like this.
Right.
At all. That's true. None. None-ya. None-ya. I don't even get to choose where we're having dinner. I just have to go where I'm told. That's exactly the truth. It's not even close to me having control of that. Wow. Scary crap. Scary crap. People, don't do scary crap with your kids and then expect them to be hanging around with you, loving grandpa. It's not how it works. I love entrepreneurs.
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Chapter 4: What steps should be taken to address financial difficulties and debt?
I'm sorry, you mean borrow on a car so that you can invest? No, no, no. I'm saying like instead of getting the car like I originally thought about doing. Oh, just stick it out and just be sweaty. Just be sweaty and then just keep using the money like the $500 to $700 I would be making for that car payment.
Yeah, you're not going to have a car payment, though, because you're going to pay cash for a $10,000 car. Right. Yeah. Well, but then that would deplete a lot of my savings. Deplete $5,000. You'll have $7,000 left, and you've got no payments.
Right.
And with no payments, if no payments, you can actually build wealth.
But the sweating, you have to decide, am I going to tough it out with a motorcycle or do I not want to sweat very much?
There's no $500 car payment in the equation here. None. No car payment at all in the equation. If you're asking us, I mean, that's what I would do if I was 32 and I lived in Las Vegas and I was single and I made $45,000 a year. I'm getting an air conditioner to start with.
And then build the emergency fund next. Yeah. Right.
And then I'm going to start building some wealth and, you know, work more, make more.
Work more, make more. What's the path to six figures in hospitality? Or if it's not a path there and you don't want to be in hospitality, decide what is it that I want to do and start to get very intentional at 32. The good news is you've avoided a lot of crazy debt at this point. Bad news is you don't have a plan, and we do have a plan.
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Chapter 5: What insights are shared about gambling and day trading?
Now, I'm going to go back to the table. And the only part I'm going to remember is the time I won. I'm going to forget about the 16 times I lost. And when you add it all up, you lost. That's how they build those nice hotels in Vegas. So true. And the same thing is true at day trading. You lost money. Poor guy. Poor gal. What a horrible thing they're going through.
But some of you people, man, you're sitting out there, well, Dave Ramsey doesn't understand. Listen, I understand. What I don't understand is why you don't understand. 97.
Chapter 6: How does pride impact financial decisions?
What other number do you have that's 97% of anything ever? That's not statistically significant. That's like a fact. You're going to lose money. Oh, my God. Yeah. And it has the same trap that gambling does. Oh, it's the exact same trap because it's got a feedback loop. It's the same thing as DraftKings. Same crap. Same exact thing. That's why sports betting has gone through the roof.
It's a feedback loop, a scarcity feedback loop. And, you know, our friend Michael that wrote Comfort Cross. Michael Easter.
Chapter 7: What are the differences between life and disability insurance?
His second book, Easter, his second book talks about that a lot. And he went into great depth to study on that about the dopamine hits and how you just keep cycling back into this thing. And you cycle back into this thing and it's – It's just pushing the same button, but it always has at its core this ridiculous arrogance that I can beat the house. It's arrogant.
Pride comes right before you have to sell your house because you lost everything. Wow. Pride comes right before the fall. Wow.
Wow.
We'll see you next time.
Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage. No gimmicks, no whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long-term disability insurance.
Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them. Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive but can't work. So it replaces a large part of your income so the bills still get paid while you get back on your feet.
Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it.
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Chapter 8: How can you enjoy money received from inheritance?
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Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family. Are you sick and tired of working so hard but having nothing to show for it? Feel like a rat in a wheel, run, run, run, run, run, get nowhere? Well, that's normal. And normal's broke. Well, you ought to be sick and tired of that. Well, good news is you don't have to live that way.
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I'm doing pretty good. How about yourself?
Better than I deserve. What's up?
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