The Real Question

Did They Quit: Nicotine?

26 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The next person we're checking in with this week is Ely Kreimendahl – host of one of our favorite podcasts, Shame Spiral. How did things turn out fo...

Did They Quit: Being a Teacher?

25 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Across this holiday week, we're checking back in with some past guests. How did things turn out for them? Did they quit what they wanted to?Today, we'...

Should I Quit: My Grudge?

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jacki has had a grudge against her cousin for the past three years. Jacki turned to her cousin during a tough time and left the situation feeling real...

Should I Quit: My Dream of Being a Rockstar?

27 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Five years ago, Penni Jo made a late-in-life decision to pursue a career as a songwriter. Now, with a few years of rejection under her belt, she’s w...

When to Quit Your Job (with Anne Helen Petersen)

13 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Anne Helen Petersen is the voice behind the popular newsletter, Culture Study, and the podcast, Work Appropriate. This week she joins Vanessa to talk ...

Should I Quit: My Comfortable Relationship?

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Over the last year, Miranda has taken some steps back from her relationship. They used to live together and now they live separately. She used to imag...

Should I Quit: Drinking? (with Marcelle Kosman)

16 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're thrilled today to be joined by Marcelle Kosman, co-host of one of our favorite podcasts – Material Girls. Marcelle likes to have a couple glas...

Should I Quit: Mom Instagram?

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Rebecca just had her second child and is spending a lot of time, focus, and energy on being a mom. But sometimes it feels like her whole life is consu...

Should We Quit? | An Announcement

25 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Producer Ariana drops into the podcast to discuss an upcoming change with Should I Quit? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(How) Should I Quit: My 40s?

18 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Kathy is turning 49 this year and she wants to be planning for the decade ahead! Should she continue on the career path she's on? Or it time to step o...

Should I Quit: Harry Potter?

11 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

G has always loved Harry Potter – so much so that in 2019 they joined their local Harry Potter and the Sacred Text group to meet monthly and ma...

Should I Quit: Trying to Get My Driver’s License?

04 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Shira has been trying to learn how to drive for the past two years. She failed her first driving test and recently, when trying to renew her learner's...

Should I Quit: My Best Friends?

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Paige has had the same best friends for twenty years but lately they've been really letting her down. She doesn't feel seen or loved by them, and they...

Should I Quit: My Career?

24 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah owns a ballet studio in a small town. She loves dance and she loves teaching, but running her own business is really stressful! If she changes c...

Should I Quit: My Crush?

17 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jocelin has a crush on their friend Paul. Ever since they met, there's been an intense instant connection – they like all the same things, they text...

Should I Quit: The United States?

10 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Prerna has lived in The United States for over ten years but it will probably take her another thirty years to get a green card. She loves living in t...

Should I Quit: Listening to Podcasts about Addiction?

03 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

For the past fifteen years, Rob has been concerned about his relationship to opiates. One of the ways he has managed that relationship has been listen...

Should I Quit: My Fitness Watch?

26 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Allie started running casually in college and has gotten more and more into it over the years. She joined a running club, she ran her first marathon, ...

Should I Quit: My Uterus?

19 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Every time Mars has a period they think about getting their uterus taken out. They hate having this dumb organ in their body! But doesn't everyone hat...

Should Vanessa Quit: Trying to Be Clean?

12 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're taking one more week off of regular programming, but we'll be back next week on June 19th.In the meantime, please enjoy this un-locked Patreon p...

Pop Culture Prescription: When You Have Some Extra Time to Yourself

05 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As we prepare for our Not Sorry C.A.M.P. this week, we're taking a break from the show. We'll be back in two weeks, on June 19th.In the meantime, plea...

Should I Quit: Nicotine?

29 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ely knows that vaping is bad for her, but she can't seem to find the motivation to stop. Is it okay to indulge certain vices? Or is that logic just th...

Should I Quit: Making New Friends?

22 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Margaret is a very sociable person – everywhere she goes, she finds new people to be friends with. But with that list ever-expanding, she feels...

Should I Quit: Giving Advice? (asking Heather Havrilesky)

15 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Heather Havrilesky is the voice behind the popular existential advice column, Ask Polly. This week she joins Vanessa to talk about giving advice, when...

Should I Quit: Posting Photos of my Kids on Instagram?

08 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Courtney loves posting photos of her kids on instagram – she loves scrolling back and seeing all the small moments captured, she loves being able to...

Should I Quit: Social Media Before Bed?

01 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Chris Stedman gets stuck scrolling Twitter at night. He knows why he does it – it makes him feel in control, it soothes his anxiety. But should he b...

Should I Quit: Going on Zillow?

24 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Taylor gets sucked into looking at houses on Zillow. It's addictive! Comparing prices, imagining her life in different places... But is that imagining...

Special Edition: Reality Television and ‘The One’ (with Julia Argy)

18 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Julia Argy, our incredible pilgrimage director has her first book out today! It's called The One, and it's about a woman who joins a reality televisio...

Should I Quit: Telling White Lies?

17 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Brigid has gotten into the habit of telling white lies. It's a defense mechanism to feel in control of what people know and think about her. But is be...

Should I Quit: My Yoga Subscription?

10 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

During the pandemic, Brooke signed up for an online yoga subscription. Does she ever use it? No. Can she get herself to cancel it? Also no. This ...

Should I Quit: Chicago?

03 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah has lived in Chicago for the past seven years. She never really wanted to live there long-term, but now she's having trouble leaving. Her famil...

Should I Quit: Trying to Get My Book Published?

20 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Katie has written a novel. She worked hard on it and she thinks it's good, but the process of trying to get it published has been grueling. Should she...

Should I Quit: My Choir?

13 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Lisa has been a choir nerd for basically her whole life. But recently, with two young kids, she can barely stay awake for the rehearsals. Should she g...

Should I Quit: My Relationship?

06 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Emily loves her boyfriend. There’s not enough good things to say about him: He’s kind and attentive and easy to be around. But she’s always want...

Should I Quit: My College Club?

27 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When Cameron joined the disability advocacy club during his first year of college, it became a huge part of his life. Now a junior, he's the club pres...

Should I Quit: Karate?

20 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sami has been practicing the same style of Karate for 20 years; it’s a huge part of her identity. But a recent conflict with her Sensei has thrown h...

Should I Quit: Dating?

13 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Rin wants a life partner, but they’ve never felt romantically attracted to someone before. Should they keep dating, hoping that they’ll find the r...

Should I Quit: Being a Teacher?

06 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Lacy has been a teacher for fifteen year, and like many teacher’s right now, she’s feeling overwhelmed. School doesn’t feel the same as it did p...

Should I Quit: Trying to Get Better?

30 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

About a year and a half ago, Fran got sick. Since then, she’s been focused on getting a diagnosis and then trying to get better. But the kind of chr...

Should I Quit: My Rule Against Long Distance Relationships?

23 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When Cheyanne was twenty-three years old she made a rule: no long distance relationships. They just set you up for heartbreak! Every time she fell for...

Should I Quit: My Dream Job?

16 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jaime loves birds. Since they were eight years old they’ve wanted a career in bird science, and so far they’ve been living that dream! But a recen...

Should I Quit: My Church?

09 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Cari has been dreading going to church. In theory, she likes so much about the community. But lately, she’s been resenting her obligations there. Is...

Special Sneak Peek! (Forgiveness: An Alternative Account)

02 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Beloved co-host of Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, Matt Potts, released his book Forgiveness: An Alternative Account a few weeks ago and it is so! g...

Should I Quit: Quitting?

19 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa and Ariana reflect on how the show's going and whether Vanessa's thoughts about quitting have changed since starting the season. We're taking ...

Should I Quit: Interior Design?

12 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Emily has always been passionate about decorating her home. It’s a big creative outlet for her! But the online culture around interior design has st...

Should I Quit: Calling My Parents?

05 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah calls her parents…a lot. Like four times a day. She loves talking to them, but all her friends think it’s weird. So she’s started to wond...

Should I Quit: My Small Business?

28 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Since the start of the pandemic, Shannon’s confectionary business has really been struggling. Now she’s getting kicked out of her shop space and s...

Should I Quit: Watching Youtube?

21 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Casper spends a lot of time scrolling through YouTube videos. He feels like he should have a better evening routine, but the algorithm always pulls hi...

Should I Quit: My Dad?

14 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Our guest this week has a hard relationship with her dad. After years of hoping it would get better, she’s starting to feel like it might be time to...

Should I Quit: Texas?

07 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Mae lives in Texas. She grew up there, her whole family is there, there are a lot of things she loves about her life there. But now that she's raising...

Should I Quit: My Name?

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When Eleanor got married, she took her husband’s last name. Now, nineteen years and three kids later, she’s working on a PhD. The PhD feels separa...

Quitting: A Thesis

25 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Is there something in your life that's making you miserable, but you feel like you need to just put your head down and get through it? Have you consid...

Should I Quit: Trailer

04 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Our first episode of Should I Quit is coming October 24th! If you'd like to be on the show, you can submit a question here. Hosted on Acast. See acast...

Endings

19 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

With help from Gilmore Girls and the song Closing Time from Semisonic, Vanessa and Casper explore the grief of endings and share about their upcoming ...

From The Happiness Lab: Making Friends as an Adult featuring Casper

12 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Casper recently joined The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos for a special episode on overcoming loneliness–a feeling many of us are all too fami...

Humility

05 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Casper grew up with a lot of confidence. And as he’s gotten older, that confidence has only been encouraged and solidified by the various privileged...

Trusting Your Gut

22 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa has always had very good instincts about people. But recently she's started to wonder: where does that gut instinct come from inside of her? A...

In-Laws

08 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Lily has a boyfriend who she loves. But you know who she doesn’t love? Her boyfriend’s brother. He makes Lily feel small and hurt and honestly ang...

Language

25 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hima’s parents moved to the United States when she was two years old. Her first language was Telugu, but her early teachers encouraged her parents t...

Career

11 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When Rachel was working on her PhD, she always thought she would graduate and work at a science museum. But the pandemic changed her plans, no museums...

Dating

27 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Mariah has filled her life with meaningful friendships. In fact, she bought a house with her best friend and is helping to raise her friend’s kid. N...

Juneteenth Spotlight: The Final 5 Campaign

19 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We're cross-posting this special episode of Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, which we've released today. This year in commemoration of Juneteenth, No...

Maternity Leave

13 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Anna had her first child during the pandemic and she found her maternity leave to be really isolating and depressing. It was only once she was able to...

Stop Motion

30 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah Steinberg is passionate about making stop motion animation. It’s so satisfying, she could easily spend hours at a time working a single projec...

Quitting

16 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marie-Hélène is the kind of person who changed her major a million times during college. But after a while, this habit started to feel embarrassing....

Roommates

02 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Dani has always wanted to live alone. Now, at 28, she’s living the dream. She owns her condo and doesn’t foresee needing a roommate. But looking a...

Hard Conversations

18 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A few years ago, Lindsay left an abusive relationship. Since then she has almost completely cut her abuser out of her life. But there’s one friend t...

Non-Binary

04 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ruth has been a woman their whole life, but that label has never quite felt right. Recently they had an experience where a stranger gendered them “w...

Diagnosis

21 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Maya Gosh has been in pain for years. She’s been going to doctors, trying to figure out what's going on with her body, but nobody seems to think any...

Break-Ups

07 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Last fall, Sophie Clark broke up with her long-term partner and it was one of the hardest things she’s ever done. Trying to organize her grief,...

Jealousy with Dana Schwartz

21 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Dana Schwartz is a #1 New York Times Best Selling author (go read her new book!), top charting podcaster, and Twitter super-star. But still, she somet...

Announcement: New Year, New Format

26 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Happy holidays! We're dropping in your feeds to share some news about the future of the show. If you’re interested in being on the show, please fill...

Trying to Be Cool

13 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa's step-daughter is *very* cool. But...is that a good thing? And what is coolness really?With help from West Side Story and Gone Girl, Vanessa ...

Bad Chaplaincy (Part 2)

06 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We got so many questions for our "bad chaplaincy" episode last month, we decided we needed another round! This week, Casper and Vanessa answer your qu...

The Sensible Thing

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Casper's life is on a path and generally he's pretty happy with how it's going. But every so often, he likes to fantasize about what it would look lik...

Bad Chaplaincy

08 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week we're taking some time to answer real questions from our audience! We touch on questions about disappointment in love, whether it's okay to ...

Anti-Vaxxers

01 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Risa has a family member who isn’t getting vaccinated and the relationship is really troubling her. She wants to respect the values of the person sh...

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa used to have a helpful story she told herself about her depression. She let herself stay in bed some days and understood that it was important...

Back to School

18 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Casper is feeling a lot of nostalgia for his graduate school experience. There are so many times in his day to day life where he feels like he should ...

Karens: Part 2

04 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Back in May, Vanessa brought us the question 'am I a Karen?' That episode focused on gender and the way systems of power can fail and frustrate women....

The Monarchy

20 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Casper has a soft spot in his heart for the monarchy. He understands all the absurdities of the institution, but he can’t get rid of that feeling th...

Old Photographs

13 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Every so often Vanessa scrolls through photos on her phone and runs into some memories she’d rather forget. Should she just delete those photos? Or ...

Middle Age

06 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Casper is getting older and he's been thinking about what that means. On the one hand: age is just a number! There’s no such thing as the ‘right’...

Rituals (The Happiness Lab)

30 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Instead of a normal episode this week we're bringing you an episode of The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos, featuring our own Casper ter Kuile.Sp...

Good Intentions

23 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa has had a lot of really positive interactions with strangers. However there are moments when strangers, for whatever reason, trigger her defen...

Beauty

16 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Casper is suspicious of the value he puts on beauty in his life. He knows that he doesn't want to judge human bodies by their aesthetics, that much ma...

Are You Okay?

09 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa doesn't know what to do when people ask her 'are you okay?' A lot of the time, she is not okay. She lives with a chronic illness, so unfortuna...

Name Change

02 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Casper has never liked his middle name. He’s ready to change it to something more meaningful to him, but how does he go about picking the right repl...

The Internet (with John Green)

26 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

John Green has spent much of his life and career online. The community that he’s built there has been one of his greatest joys and achievements. But...

Friend Break-Ups: Part 2

19 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa has some friendships that feel more like obligations than pleasures. What does she do with these friends? Does she break-up with them? Does st...

Regret

12 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Recently, Casper’s been looking back on his life with regret: he should have kissed more boys when he was younger! But what is he supposed to do wit...

Praying With Jane Eyre - Audio Book Sneak Peek!

08 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa's book finally came out into the world on Tuesday and we're so excited to share a chapter from the audiobook with you today! If you haven't a...

Praying With Jane Eyre - Release Day Interview!

06 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa's book is finally out in the world today! She chats with Casper about her writing process, inspiration, and more. If you haven't already, you...

White Lies

28 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa sometimes tells white lies in low stakes situations. Lies like ‘yes, I love that dress!’ or ‘I really enjoyed meeting your boyfriend!’...

Home Ownership

21 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Casper is getting to the age where he feels like he and his husband ’should’ start thinking about buying a house, but he doesn’t know if he...

Being Rude

14 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Every summer Vanessa goes to Germany with her partner, Peter. And every summer, Vanessa gets stuck around the dinner table at night surrounded by peop...

The Soul

07 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Following the death of his grandmother, Casper has had some uncomfortable and unresolved questions about death and the afterlife. He used to feel...

Friend Break-Ups

31 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vanessa has a friend she wants to break-up with. The case is very clear cut: This person did something awful, and Vanessa no longer wants this person ...

Leisure

24 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Casper has lot of rituals in his life to slow down: he keeps a sabbath every week, he spends time at a monastery every few months. But still, he rarel...

Karens

10 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The term 'Karen' has imbedded itself in our culture, and as a white woman, Vanessa is keenly aware of the moments she might be called a Karen. But she...