The Real Weird Sisters: A Harry Potter Podcast

One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 261

23 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In a rare twist, the pensieve is about to enter a world which is entirely our own, as Caractacus Burke recounts his memory of scamming poor Merope and...

One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 764

15 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It's thestral time, baby! Harry, Neville, and Luna show off their thestral expertise while Ron, Hermione, and Ginny stand open-mouthed and staring in ...

One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 444

09 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It's time for Hagrid's first Care of Magical Creatures lesson for the year! Aided by his disheveled appearance, the ominous Forbidden Forest, and his ...

One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 353

02 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha head back to the seventh book, where Harry and Hermione are about to find out the truth (?) about Dumbledore's friendships with both ...

One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 328

23 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss page 328 of book 6 for the second time in a week! It's almost Christmas and Harry and Ron have a lot to discuss after Slughor...

One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 124

16 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It's back to the Potions classroom this week, as Ron pays the price for sloppy chopping and Draco milks his "injured arm." Snape's just trying his bes...

One Page at a Time: Book 1, Page 223

09 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha return to Sorcerer's Stone for a unique Hermione and Ron POV page. Draco is full of witty jabs, Neville is full of amazing comeback...

One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 335

02 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Dumbledore's phone is blowing up, Lucius is about to lose his servant, and Harry knows exactly where to look during this important exchange. Alice and...

One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 628

26 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha return to the Hospital Wing, where the remaining professors (who haven't been murdered like the headmaster) decide what to do with th...

Take Five, Take 4.30: Goblet of Fire, 145:01-THE END

19 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim close the book on Mike Newell's magnum opus, discussing the credits of Goblet of Fire. Please consider ...

One Page at a Time: Book 1, Page 138

12 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week's episode features Snape's first speaking appearance, both in the books and in the One Page at a Time series. Alice and Martha discuss the w...

One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 63

05 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Something horrible has happened here! This page may not be pretty, but Alice and Martha find plenty to discuss about Slughorn's "murder" scene. Harry ...

One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 720

29 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's Tale at King's Cross. With so much dialogue from Dumbledore, this week is ripe with band an album name options! ...

The 2025 Real Weird Holiday Special

22 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We are back to celebrate the holiday season in the realest and weirdest ways possible. First, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shandy to s...

One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 270

15 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha tell a group of second-year girls about Sirius's break-in - oh wait, that's Ron! From Sirius's ghastly to Ron's ability to make him s...

One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 177

08 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Harry's arm bones might not be back yet, but Dobby is! On this week's One Page at a Time, Alice and Martha discuss linguistics, magical medicine, hous...

Take Five, Take 4.29: Goblet of Fire, 140:01-145:00

01 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to (nearly) wrap up Goblet of Fire! Some more amazing acting from the trio, including an amazin...

One Page at a Time: Book 4, Page 617

24 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha return to the fourth book as Harry prepares for the third task. A sweet moment from Ced, a not-so-sweet moment from Amos, and an almo...

One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 288

17 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha continue to strike seventh book gold as they discuss another chapter from "The Goblin's Revenge." Ron's unreasonable and irascible mo...

One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 185

10 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha return to the thrilling page sequence in Sirius's bedroom. A shady reference to Muriel, a (Hermione voice) "Harry" and a possible hin...

Take Five, Take 4.28: Goblet of Fire, 135:01-140:00

03 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the 28th five minutes of Goblet of Fire, which includes the reveal of the real Moody and a speci...

One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 488

27 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Martha gets to practice her singing (and just so you know, she actually can carry a tune, unlike Slughorn) as Harry gets some implied help from Feli...

One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 184

20 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Find out who Bathilda is (unless, like Harry, you've already figured it out), whether or not Godric's Hollow suffers from the Charity Burbage Effect, ...

One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 75

13 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha return to Grimmauld Place, where this crucial page includes plenty of dungbomb hilarity and... not much else! Don't worry, though, th...

Xenophilius Lovegood: Character Study

06 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha return to character studies, covering one of the realest weirdos of all time! So, don your sun colors, sit far away from any erumpent...

One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 297

29 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Lockhart makes his third appearance in the OPAAT series, but will he win Real Weirdo yet again? Alice and Martha discuss page 297 of Chamber of Secre...

Take Five, Take 4.27: Goblet of Fire, 130:01-135:00

22 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's finally time for the iconic "MY BOYYYY" moment. Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim reconvene to discuss Harry's amazing acting, Moody's...

One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 421

15 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha head back to Owl Post Again, again! This time, the trio is released from the hospital wing, hardly believing the events of just last ...

One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 303

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, Alice gets a break from extended Jim Dale narration and Martha does much of the heavy lifting with a classic impression of a real weirdo. P...

One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 752

01 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha are back to discuss page 752 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Hermione practices her improvisation skills and wows with ...

One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 269

25 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When in doubt, follow the spiders to this week's One Page at a Time! Alice and Martha's discussion this week includes analysis of Ron's phobia and awe...

One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 388

18 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week's One Page at a Time takes Alice and Martha to the 388th page of Half-Blood Prince, which takes place in "Birthday Surprises" but doesn't i...

One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 492

11 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha cover the 492nd page of Order of the Phoenix, on which Harry fears he might be the weapon, the group rides the muggle train, and Ma...

One Page at a Time: Book 1, Page 304

04 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss the 304th page of Sorcerer's Stone, as Harry gets a handsome, unlikely, and possibly even shady gift from Hagrid, escapes Ma...

One Page at a Time: Book 4, Page 597

28 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss the 597th page of Goblet of Fire, where Dumbledore makes his first significant appearance of the One Page at a Time series as...

Take Five, Take 4.26: Goblet of Fire, 125:01-130:00

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to continue discussing the graveyard scene, this time featuring a full-bodied Voldemort and some...

Take Five, Take 4.25: Goblet of Fire, 120:01-125:00

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In a surprising twist, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are almost as excited to discuss this week's five minutes as Cedric was to realize...

One Page at a Time: Book 4, Page 358

07 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In one of the most Hermione's bag-worthy pages so far, Harry stops Ron from some important personal growth and Hermione bursts into tears at the *boys...

One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 120

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

One of Martha's predictions from last week comes true as Harry finds himself in detention with Lockhart, hearing voices that no one else can hear. Is ...

One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 431

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Oh, cheer up, listeners! Alice and Martha return to the One Page at a Time series, while the trio returns home for the summer holidays. All on this pa...

Take Five, Take 4.24: Goblet of Fire, 115:01-120:00

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It might be the most boring five minutes yet, but that doesn't mean it will be most boring Take Five yet! Alice and Martha are joined once again by sp...

Take Five, Take 4.23: Goblet of Fire, 110:01-115:00

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On this Take Five, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim talk mistakes of epic proportions, voiceover flubs, and the Hogwarts band. It might s...

Fleur Delacour: Character Study, Part 3

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha close the book on Fleur, discussing her arc in the seventh book. Fleur may be 'ideous as one of the seven Potters, but don't worry - ...

Take Five, Take 4.22: Goblet of Fire, 105:01-110:00

26 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hello, Father! Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to discuss JUNIOR'S race around the courtroom, Karkaroff's dramatics in the cage ...

Fleur Delacour: Character Study, Part 2

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The characterfleur studies continue, as Alice and Martha discuss Phlegm in the fifth and sixth books. Ol' Fleur Delacour eemproves 'er Eenglish, 'Arry...

Fleur Delacour: Character Study, Part 1

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha return to character studies to discuss everyone's favorite French champion, Fleur Delacour! Hermione might not give her a fair shake,...

One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 420

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Three of Martha's most infamous characters, plus Harry and Ron convene on this week's page for some very goofy times in the Hospital Wing. Plus, find ...

One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 222

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In the most somber OPAAT yet, Alice and Martha review recent bad news in the Wizarding World, which is affecting many of Harry's classmates, including...

One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 334

21 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

One Page at a Time returns to Prisoner of Azkaban, this time for a scene in which Sirius acts enormously strangely. Alice and Martha discuss cat, ra...

One Page at a Time: Book 4, Page 231

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss page 231 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Alice gets to practice long-form Jim Dale impressions, Barty Crouch Jr. ge...

Take Five, Take 4.21: Goblet of Fire, 100:01-105:00

07 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

To discuss this amazing five minutes, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim! There's plenty of tongue wiggling, MVB contenders, and...

One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 341

31 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha continue with their new show format - One Page at a Time! In this series, the sisters will focus on one randomly selected page from t...

One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 119

24 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha premiere a new show format - One Page at a Time! In this series, the sisters will focus on one randomly selected page from the series...

Remus Lupin: Character Study, Part 5

17 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to close the seventh book on Remus John Lupin, husband of "Dora," who prefers to go by her surname only. Alice and Martha spend plenty of ti...

Remus Lupin: Character Study, Part 4

10 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha go through the tiramisu-like "layers" of Remus John Lupin's reactions and behaviors in the first half of Deathly Hallows. And even t...

Remus Lupin: Character Study, Part 3

03 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In the third installment of the Lupinversation, Alice and Martha cover Lupin's arc in the fifth and sixth books. Lupin goes underground, comforts dear...

Remembering the Real Weird Grandma

24 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha take some time to remember their grandmother, Doris Krebill, who passed away earlier this month at age 99. Following a brief introduc...

Remus Lupin: Character Study, Part 2

17 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha resume the Lupinversation after just a little time off! It is he, Remus John Lupin in the fourth and fifth books, not yet husband of ...

Hepzibah Smith and Hokey: Character Study

10 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss another dynamic duo this week - Hepzibah Smith and Hokey the House Elf! Though he only gets to see them for one pensieve memo...

Bob Ogden and Mrs. Cole: Character Study

03 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha start the Bobversation at the House of Gaunt and Coleminate at Tom Riddle's orphanage. This week's dynamic duo of characters is t...

Take Five, Take 4.20: Goblet of Fire, 95:01-100:00

27 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It may be the end of Goblet of Fire's microwave minutes, but Mike Newell's magnum opus is far from over! There might not be much dialogue as Harry c...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 7.6

20 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The Ronversation comes to a close as Alice and Martha discuss Ron's part in the battle of HogWARTS and his many full circle moments at the end of the...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 7.5

13 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to the 75th Ronversation and the first Dragomir Despardversation! This week, Alice and Martha discuss Ron's travels with Harry to Shell...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 7.4

06 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ron's back, and so is conversation about the Ronversation! This week's episode covers the time between Ron's return and the trio's "visit" to Malfoy ...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 7.3

30 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Remembered Ron, have you? Well, luckily, so have Alice and Martha as they return to the seventh book Ronversation for the first time in a few weeks. ...

The 2024 Real Weird Holiday Special

23 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As 2024 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. First, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shandy to cast...

Take Five, Take 4.19: Goblet of Fire, 90:01-95:00

16 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Special guest Shut Up Tim is back to discuss the Second Task with Alice and Martha. Neville might have killed Harry Potter, but the "treasures" are th...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 7.2

09 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha cover Ron's arc in the time the trio spends after leaving the Burrow up through their adventures at the Ministry. From hugely signif...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 7.1

02 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha begin Ronversing about Ron's arc in the seventh book, discussing events leading up to the trio's departure from the Burrow. Did Ron ...

Into the Pensieve: Horton Hears a Who

25 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Take a trip into the Pensieve and all the way down to Whoville this week! But is it the same Whoville as the Grinch visits? Find out all this and more...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 6.5

18 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

And just like that, the sixth book Ronversation comes to a close, as Alice and Martha discuss Ron's relationships with his family, Luna, and Hagrid, ...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 6.4

11 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha continue the Ronversation, discussing Ron's plots with Quidditch and school as well as his relationships with Snape and Slughorn. Th...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 6.3

04 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Even thought last week's show would have been the perfect ending point for the show, Alice and Martha decide to return to finish eulogizing Ron his re...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 6.2

28 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's endless brat summer as Alice and Martha keep the Ronversation going, discussing Ron's relationships with girls in the sixth book. This podcast ...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 6.1

21 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha move the Ronversation to book six Ron, starting with his relationship with brat Harry! Hopefully this episode will have you guffawing...

Take Five, Take 4.18: Goblet of Fire, 85:01-90:00

14 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Special guest Shut Up Tim joins Alice and Martha to break down the next five minutes of Goblet of Fire, in which Harry gets ogled by his forty-year-o...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 5.4

07 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha conclude the fifth book Ronversation, but don't worry, there's still a good 6-8 episodes left to properly eulogize Ron! This week's ...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 5.3

30 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Ronversation continues as Alice and Martha focus on Ron's relationship with Hermione in the fifth book. Even though they're always having a go at...

Take Five, Take 4.17: Goblet of Fire, 80:01-85:00

23 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss another brilliant five minutes of Mike Newell's magnum opus! Hermione c...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 5.2

16 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha resume their Ronversation about Ron's relationships with two of his closest mates, Harry and Quidditch (talk about a cute name!). A...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 5.1

09 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's onto the fifth book and Alice and Martha may be *genuinely* entering their Ron stan era as they discuss his friendship with Harry! He might drive...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 4.3

02 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The fourth book Ronversation continues as Alice and Martha discuss Ron's relationships with many extremely important side characters. Pigwidgeon Xes...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 4.2

26 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha continue Ronversing about Ron in the fourth book, this time focusing on his relationships with Hermione and his family. Between his...

Take Five, Take 4.16: Goblet of Fire, 75:01-80:00

19 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Find out who's a crazy elf, a carefree ogre, a unicorn, and a hairy troll as Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to re...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 4.1

12 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Ronversation continues as Alice and Martha begin discussing Ron in the fourth book, starting with his relationship with Harry. From their biggest...

Ron Weasley: Character Study, Part 3

05 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha finally resume the Ronversation, discussing Ron's plots in the third book! In this book, Ron gets a little taste of fame, his relat...

Take Five, Take 4.15: Goblet of Fire, 70:01-75:00

29 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It may take nineteen minutes before getting to the meat of the show, but Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are so excited to talk about the...

Cormac McLaggen: Character Study

22 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha talk through 100 great saves by Cormac McLaggen, even though it's not quite clear where he has actually played Quidditch before. McLa...

Take Five, Take 4.14: Goblet of Fire, 65:01-70:00

15 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the fourteenth five minutes of Mike Newell's classic masterpiece. There's plenty to talk about th...

Into the Pensieve: Because of Winn-Dixie

08 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha take a break from stories about mice to cover a story about a dog, Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo. Is Miss Franny Block real...

Horace Slughorn: Character Study, Part 3

01 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to propery eulogize our favorite Slytherin head of house! Alice and Martha discuss Harry's successful procurement of the memory and Slughorn...

Horace Slughorn: Character Study, Part 2

24 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha continue their discussion about ol' Sluggy, who throws an amazing and not at all problematic Christmas party. Harry makes a valiant a...

Take Five, Take 4.13: Goblet of Fire, 60:01-65:00

17 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Two full minutes of a joyride / dragon chase around the Hogwarts grounds, how thrilling! Harry nearly DIES, but luckily lives to revel in the glory of...

Horace Slughorn: Character Study, Part 1

10 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss everyone's favorite Slytherin, Professor Slughorn! This giant slug loves collecting creature comforts, knows how to amp up th...

Into the Pensieve: The Mouse and the Motorcycle

03 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's another mouse book this week! Alice and Martha discuss The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary. Ralph might not be quite as sweet as Rem...

Seamus Finnigan: Character Study, Part 3

27 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Yes, it really has taken three character studies to analyze Seamus's complex arc! In this episode, Seamus "apologizes" to Harry for the error of his w...

Seamus Finnigan: Character Study, Part 2

20 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Seamus in the fourth and fifth books. His storyline picks up speed as we meet his mom (or possibly a paid Craigslist actor??)...

Seamus Finnigan: Character Study, Part 1

13 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Kaboom! It's time to blow some things up! Alice and Martha deviate from the official Real Weirdos list to cover Me Cousin Fergus's cousin, Seamus Finn...

Into the Pensieve: Curious George

06 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Curious George, the Man in the Yellow Hat, and H.A. and Margret Rey. Though he may not have a tail, Curious George proves to...

The Muggle Prime Minister: Character Study

29 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss the first unnamed character to win the Real Weirdo, Canonical John Major! This isn't a Fudge character study, and this isn't ...