The Real Weird Sisters: A Harry Potter Podcast

Take Five, Take 4.12: Goblet of Fire, 55:01-60:00

22 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Well done, Dragon! Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim have made it through the first hour of Goblet of Fire... oooOOOhhhh! Harry fights the...

Into the Pensieve: Stuart Little

15 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha enter a world which is entirely E.B. White's own, which may or may not be a good thing. Is Stuart a mouse or not? What ever happened ...

Neville Longbottom: Character Study, Part 7

08 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and Jim Dale are back to finish discussing Neville. In the seventh book, Neville becomes--there's no other word for it--cool. As usual...

Neville Longbottom: Character Study, Part 6

01 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Neville's arc continues in the sixth book, though perhaps not quite as gracefully as readers might hope - there's still plenty of falling on his back,...

Neville Longbottom: Character Study, Part 5

25 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I dink it's time for our fifth Neville character study, in fact I'b sure id is! After Christmas on the closed ward, Neville takes an "alarming" and "u...

Neville Longbottom: Character Study, Part 4

18 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's time for Neville Part 4, which of course covers Neville in the first half of the fifth book! Alice and Martha discuss his amazing birthday presen...

Neville Longbottom: Character Study, Part 3

11 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha pick up their conversation on Neville from several years ago, this time, hopefully, without repeating any content! In the fourth book...

Professors Tofty and Marchbanks: Character Study

04 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to break down everyone's favorite dynamic duo of professors! With help from the Wiki, Alice and Martha speculate on whether old Griselda Mar...

Into the Pensieve: Make Way for Ducklings

26 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha dive into Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey. This super cute picture book includes some yaasss queen moments, a deadbeat dad...

Take Five, Take 4.11: Goblet of Fire, 50:01-55:00

19 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Mike NeWELL, it's time for another Take Five! Special guest Shut Up Tim joins the sisters to discuss Moody's transfiguration tactics and tongue antics...

Grawp: Character Study

12 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Grawp, Hagrid's absolutely miniscule younger brother. From his special bond with Hermy to his role in the Battle of Hogwarts,...

Into the Pensieve: Mrs. Piggle Wiggle

05 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha review Mrs. Piggle Wiggle by the highly memorable Betty MacDonald. Mid-century kids misbehaving and being disciplined... what could g...

Take Five, Take 4.10: Goblet of Fire, 45:01-50:00

29 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha and special guest Shut Up Tim are back for another Take Five! Find out what significant figures, Willem Dafoe, and teenage tragedy have ...

Professor Flitwick: Character Study, Part 2

22 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha resume inferring things about tiny little Professor Flitwick. Find out why he wasn't a member of the Order, what was really going on ...

Professor Flitwick: Character Study, Part 1

15 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Without much source material to go off of, Alice and Martha are left to make a lot of interferences about this week's character, Filius Flitwick! Luck...

Into the Pensieve: A Series of Unfortunate Events #1 - The Bad Beginning

08 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this podcast (a word which here means "a recorded discussion between two real weird sisters"), Alice and Martha delve into The Bad Beginning, the f...

Cho Chang: Character Study

01 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Cho, Cho from Harry's point of view, and Cho from Hermione's point of view on this week's episode. From really good Quidditch...

Into the Pensieve: Magic Tree House

18 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha reminisce on Mary Pope Osborne's hit children's series, Magic Tree House, in which Jack and Annie stumble across a treehouse filled w...

Phineas Nigellus Black: Character Study

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Believe it or not, Alice and Martha manage to fit Phineas Nigellus Black's entire character arc into one podcast! The thin, reedy voice comes out more...

Take Five, Take 4.9: Goblet of Fire, 40:01-45:00

04 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to discuss another five minutes of Mike Newell's cinematic masterpiece! These five minutes are h...

Take Five, Take 4.8: Goblet of Fire, 35:01-40:00

27 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to discuss Mike Newell's most unhinged five minutes yet. McGonagall proves to be the only sane a...

Into the Pensieve: Among the Hidden

20 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha enjoy their privilege as first and second children as they discuss Margaret Peterson Haddix's twisty thrill ride, Among the Hidden. T...

Minerva McGonagall: Character Study, Part 7

13 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha gather to properly eulogize Professor McGonagall, although luckily, her body doesn't end up lying next to the Creevey brothers in the...

Minerva McGonagall: Character Study, Part 6

06 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss McGonagall in the penultimate book, as she helps verify timetables and performs some very cool magic, reprimands Malfoy (to S...

Minerva McGonagall: Character Study, Part 5

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Harry and Professor McGonagall bond over a shared enemy as Umbridge enters the series. Have a biscuit and settle in to listen to Alice and Martha's an...

Minerva McGonagall: Character Study, Part 4

23 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Professor McGonagall in one of her most stressful books yet, as she tries to make sure her students don't embarrass her in fr...

Minerva McGonagall: Character Study, Part 3

16 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha are on "barrier watch" again this week as Professor McGonagall takes on the important new role of blocking Harry from going to Hogsme...

Minerva McGonagall: Character Study, Part 2

09 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha resume their study on Queen McGonagall. While her main role in Chamber of Secrets may be to deliver bad news to the students and resp...

Into the Pensieve: Sideways Stories from Wayside School

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's a good thing this isn't the 19th episode of Into the Pensieve, or it wouldn't exist! This week, Alice and Martha climb thirty flights of stairs t...

Take Five, Take 4.7: Goblet of Fire, 30:01-35:00

25 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the next five minutes of a very Newell-that-just-happened five minutes....

Hedwig: Character Study, Part 3

18 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The time for fun and games has come to an end as Alice and Martha conclude their discussion on Queen Hedwig and she flies off into the sunset. Though ...

Hedwig: Character Study, Part 2

11 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Heh! Hooooot!! Alice and Martha are excited to continue their discussion of Real Weird Queen Hedwig. Though Harry is awfully rude to her numerous time...

Hedwig: Character Study, Part 1

04 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After all this time... Alice and Martha finally get the chance to honor Queen Hedwig! Reproachful glances and helpful nibbles abound on this week's le...

Into the Pensieve: Half Magic

28 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha wish that you would listen to this podcast about Edward Eager's Half Magic. They wish it twice! While they may not be the biggest fan...

Take Five, Take 4.6: Goblet of Fire, 25:01-30:00

21 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Shut Up Tim makes yet another guest appearance on this week's Take Five, covering Moody's questionable teaching methods, a hilarious slapstick montage...

Zacharias Smith: Character Study

14 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Would you like us to clean out your ears for you? We weren't about to weasel out of discussing "Smith," even if he is suffering from a bad case of Los...

Take Five, Take 4.5: Goblet of Fire, 20:01-25:00

07 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There's plenty of competition for the Mike Newell That Just Happened moment in this five minutes, and from Flitwick's choice of meal to Alice's classr...

Into the Pensieve: Charlotte's Web

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha - AKA Fern and Templeton - discuss one of their all-time favorite children's books, Charlotte's Web by E.B. White. In this series, Al...

Dolores Umbridge: Character Study, Part 4

24 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Rounding out the discussion on (but unfortunately, not eulogizing) Umbridge, Alice and Martha analyze Umbridge in the sixth and seventh books. The "Se...

Dolores Umbridge: Character Study, Part 3

17 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's time for Part 3 of our Umbridge series! Filch may think his dreams have come true with Umbridge as the head of the school, but Fred, George, Peev...

Take Five, Take 4.4: Goblet of Fire, 15:01-20:00

10 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In what might be the best five minutes of the movie so far (despite some stiff competition), Harry and the gang arrive at Hogwarts and are joined by t...

Dolores Umbridge: Character Study, Part 2

03 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Our second Umbridge character study covers her reign of power as Hogwarts High Inquisitor, from blocking meetings of the DA, Gryffindor Quidditch team...

Dolores Umbridge: Character Study, Part 1

26 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Hem, hem! Thus begins our series on the most supremely obnoxious and infuriating character of the Harry Potter universe. Progress for progress's sake ...

Into the Pensieve: Matilda

19 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss the Wunderkind Matilda and her sweet (albeit nerdy) teacher / best friend Miss Honey in this week's Into the Pensieve episode...

Take Five, Take 4.3: Goblet of Fire, 10:01-15:00

12 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha are once again joined by not-so-special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss a riveting five minutes of Mike Newell's almost-magnum opus.Plea...

Luna Lovegood: Character Study, Part 3

05 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's Luna's final episode, so we've donned our sun colors and prepared the pudding to celebrate! Luna's seventh book arc includes new friendships with...

Luna Lovegood: Character Study, Part 2

29 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha dive into Luna's highly complex sixth book arc. Hope you've dyed your eyebrow yellow and donned your spangled silver robes in order t...

Luna Lovegood: Character Study, Part 1

22 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Find out if you're more of a Crockford or a Purkiss on this week's show, as Alice and Martha begin their deep dive into one of the quirkiest main char...

Into the Pensieve: Frindle

15 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

For the first time in Into the Pensieve history, Alice and Martha discuss a book they may not still love as adults, Frindle by Andrew Clements. In thi...

Arabella Figg: Character Study

08 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Find out Mrs. Figg's real middle name, secret profession, possible relatives, and more from this week's character study! She may not always use the ri...

Take Five, Take 4.2: Goblet of Fire, 05:01-10:00

01 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's Take Five, we resume our Microwave Minute as Harry and his friends (sort of) attend the World Cup. Fudge practices his commentator skil...

Into the Pensieve: Amelia Bedelia

24 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha dive into the pensieve to discuss literature's most "successful" maid, Amelia Bedelia. She may take things way too literally, but at ...

Kreacher: Character Study, Part 2

17 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's time for Alice and Martha to round out their discussion on the Kreacher from the Black Lagoon! Stick to this episode like a couple of wart plaste...

Kreacher: Character Study, Part 1

10 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

He may be small, but his arc is long enough to warrant a two-parter, if you can believe it! Alice and Martha are joined by Kreacher to discuss his sto...

Take Five, Take 4.1: Goblet of Fire, 00:00-05:00

03 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Take Five is back, baby! Let's give our guest, Shut Up Tim, a proper greeting! (Insert frantic tongue waggling here!) Alfonso's magnum opus might be o...

Into the Pensieve: Frog and Toad

27 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha dive into the pensieve to discuss Arnold Lobel's masterpiece series, Frog and Toad. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on sha...

Mundungus Fletcher: Character Study

20 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We got it from mu'dungus (even if we're not quite sure what that means anymore)! It's time to break down the Wizarding World's most noble thief, even ...

Into the Pensieve: Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

13 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha dive into the pensieve to discuss one of Judy Blume's first novels, the first book in the Fudge series, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothi...

Ginny Weasley: Character Study, Part 5

06 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to properly eulogize wittle Ginny, wrapping up her story in the seventh book and (unfortunately) nineteen years later, too. Though Ginny isn...

Ginny Weasley: Character Study, Part 4

27 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha continue their conversation about widdle Grin, queen of physical comedy and impressions! In the sixth book, Ginny is joined by two im...

Ginny Weasley: Character Study, Part 3

20 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha cover Ginny's arc in the fifth book, as she starts to come into her own but continues to be handled with kid gloves by everyone aroun...

Ginny Weasley: Character Study, Part 2

13 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to discuss Ginny in Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire, two of her most important books! Tune in to see if Alice and Martha can pack in ...

Ginny Weasley: Character Study, Part 1

06 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss "Gin's" arc in the first two books. Even if she won't wake and isn't really herself, she still proves why she's Harry's hasht...

Into the Pensieve: Kristy's Great Idea

30 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Kristy's Great Idea, the first book in the legendary Baby-Sitters Club series by Ann M. Martin. In this series, Alice and Mar...

Nymphadora Tonks: Character Study, Part 2

23 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha complete their conversation on the MetamorphoSis, from her mouse-brown hair to her whirlwind romance with "Romulus." She has let 'ers...

Nymphadora Tonks: Character Study, Part 1

16 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Tonks as she makes her series debut. With her signature bubble gum pink hair and pig snout nose, she's always sure to be a la...

Into the Pensieve: The Berenstain Bears

09 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Stan and Jan Berenstain's classic series, focusing on three books that influenced their childhood most - Too Much Junk Food, ...

Petunia Dursley: Character Study, Part 3

02 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to wrap up the conversation about Petunia by talking about her arc in the second set of two books and the final one book. Alice and Martha d...

Petunia Dursley: Character Study, Part 2

19 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, Alice and Martha cover Petunia's storyline in the second set of two books, reviewing her relationship with her sister-in-law and her contin...

Petunia Dursley: Character Study, Part 1

12 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha move to discussing Order of the Phoenix Real Weirdos, unfortunately skipping over the realest weirdo of all (Bungy) due to lack of so...

Into the Pensieve: Beezus and Ramona

05 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha talk about the first book of Beverly Cleary's Ramona series, discussing ways in which they may or may not be very similar to these tw...

Severus Snape: Character Study, Part 7

28 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha dive headfirst into the Pensieve to analyze the Prince's tale, along with the rest of Snape's arc in the seventh book. It's time to p...

Severus Snape: Character Study, Part 6.2

21 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha finish up their discussion of Snape's arc in the sixth book, from his handling of the Sectumsempra incident to feelin' a bit overwork...

Severus Snape: Character Study, Part 6.1

14 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The first half of the sixth book has Snape victorious, as he intercepts Tonks's patronus, finally lands his dream job as DADA instructor, and tries hi...

Severus Snape: Character Study, Part 5

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's another zero, then, for Potter as he continually messes up in Snape's class and even has to start Remedial Potions. Snape continues to improve hi...

Severus Snape: Character Study, Part 4

24 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Snape's double agent arc continues seamlessly in the fourth book, as he continues to threaten and mock students like Neville and Hermione (most certai...

Severus Snape: Character Study, Part 3

17 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha resume their Snape character studies, this time focusing on his arc in the third book. Remember, anything mean he does can be fully e...

Take Five, Take 27: Prisoner of Azkaban, 130:01-THE END

10 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim close out the Prisoner of Azkaban Take Five series with an in depth conversation about the freeze frame a...

Into the Pensieve: Sylvester and the Magic Pebble

03 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss the first picture book of the Into the Pensieve series. Hear about all of the ways Sylvester impacted Martha's childhood, fro...

Barty Crouch Jr.: Character Study

26 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Was he truly the most loyal Death Eater? Did dementors change significantly over the course of the series? Didn't we cover this in a previous episode?...

Into the Pensieve: Junie B. Jones

19 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss the Junie B. Jones series by Barbara Park in the third Into the Pensieve episode. For in memories, we enter a world which is ...

Take Five, Take 26: Prisoner of Azkaban, 125:01-130:00

12 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In the penultimate Take Five episode on Alfonso's magnum opus, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the almost-final five minutes of P...

Lily Potter: Character Study, Part 2

05 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha conclude their discussion of the Pillsbury Doe Girl, including a refresher on where her iconic nickname originated. Most of this epis...

Back to School Special with Leandra

03 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Leandra for a Back to School extravaganza! Alice, Martha, and Leandra rank some of Hogwarts' more questio...

Lily Potter: Character Study, Part 1

29 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss the Pillsbury Doe Girl's "arc" in the first seven books, up until the Prince's Tale memories. From her charitable modeling ca...

Take Five, Take 25: Prisoner of Azkaban, 120:01-125:00

22 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week's five minutes feature Harry and Sirius almost dying as Harry waits for his father to show up, Hermione demonstrating an impressive mastery ...

Into the Pensieve: Holes by Louis Sachar

15 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In the second Into the Pensieve episode (well, technically the first *official* Into the Pensieve episode), Alice and Martha discuss Holes by Louis Sa...

Take Five, Take 24: Prisoner of Azkaban, 115:01-120:00

08 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Harry and Hermione continue their time travel, running through the woods and performing uncanny werewolf impersonations. As usual, Alice, Martha, and ...

Wormtail: Character Study, Part 2

01 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

There's lots to discuss as Alice and Martha dive into Wormtail's arc in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books! Kick back and enjoy some elf-made wine in...

Wormtail: Character Study, Part 1

25 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss one of the most sympathetic, charismatic, and charming characters of the series, Wormtail. It's honestly hard to believe he h...

The Boxcar Children Deep Dive

18 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha take a break from their usual topic of discussion to explore another influential book series from their childhood, The Boxcar Childre...

Take Five, Take 23: Prisoner of Azkaban, 110:01-115:00

11 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice, Martha, and recurring guest Shut Up Tim discuss a riveting five minutes of Alfonso's magnum opus. There are lots of questions and surprises in ...

Cedric Diggory: Character Study

04 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to talk about the Spare, whose arc is unfortunately far too short!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters...

Albus Dumbledore: Character Study, Part 7

27 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha round out close to fifteen hours on everyone's favorite headmaster. The proper eulogy may already be complete, but there's still plen...

Take Five, Take 22: Prisoner of Azkaban, 105:01-110:00

20 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha are joined once again by their friend and recurring guest, Shut Up Tim, to discuss the top five Michael Gambon moments in this myster...

Albus Dumbledore: Character Study, Part 6.2

13 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha finally get the chance to properly eulogize Dumbledore, but don’t worry — our Dumbledore character studies aren’t over yet! My,...

Albus Dumbledore: Character Study, Part 6.1

06 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha pursue that flighty teptress, Dumbledore, discussing his arc in the sixth book up until Harry procures the absolutely crucial horcrux...

Albus Dumbledore: Character Study, Part 5.2

30 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha resume their discussion of Dumbledore in the fifth book, this time focusing on his relationship with the Ministry of Magic and his ro...

Albus Dumbledore: Character Study, Part 5.1

23 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's relationship (or lack thereof) with Harry in the fifth book, and will pick up with Dumbledore's relationship (or...

Take Five, Take 21: Prisoner of Azkaban, 100:01-105:00

16 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

There might not be much dialogue in these five minutes, but what dialogue there is is absolutely brilliant (good doggie... good doggie!!). Alice, Mart...