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Something my wife and I have been testing that has changed our relationship, and will change yours too.
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---Transcript---
Hey everybody, this is Russell. Welcome back to the Marketing Secrets podcast. I got a really cool hack for your language. It's going to change your entire life. All right. So this one's simple. This is probably four years or five years ago, back in the very beginning of my podcasting days, back before Marketing Secrets, back when it was the Marketing in Your Car podcast, for my OGs. You guys remember that?
I shared something that I was doing with my kids that was really fun. And I talked about how, when you meet most people, when you go to the grocery store or something like that, "Hey, how's it going?" They're like "Good." Or you see someone at the airport, "Hey, how's it going?" "Good." You start traveling, "How are you doing today?" "Good." Everybody's like, "Good, good."
And good is boring. Good is the enemy to great, right? And so I started teaching my kids. I was like, "Hey, when somebody asks you, 'How are you doing?' Instead of saying 'Good,' say, 'I'm awesome.'" I think just try that. So my kids started doing it, I started doing it. I remember, I had to be at the airport at six in the morning, and the cashier when you're buying your gum and your water's like, "How are you doing today?" Because they have to ask that. Ad you're like, "Doing awesome." And they're like, "Oh, I wasn't expecting that." And it just shifts the person you're talking to every single time.
It was like so simple, so dumb, but for the last four or five years, and I'm not perfect at this, but I always try. When someone asks how I'm doing, I never say "Good." All right? Instead I say, "I'm doing awesome." And it just kind of catches them. Even if I'm not doing good. I'm like, "Oh, I'm doing awesome." And then they're like, "Oh." and it shifts them. And it shifts you.
So that's a little language hack. Right? So there's little things like that, that I'm always looking for, that are super dumb and super easy. And I found one the other day. Someone posted on Instagram, I'm not sure who it was. I think it was Lisa Bilyeu, but I'm not positive. So I'm going to give her credit, but it may not have been. But what she said, I think, or whoever it was, I think it's her. But the person who said it said, "Next time, instead of saying, 'I'm sorry,' shift it to, 'Thank you.'" And I was like, what? And then she gave an example.
She said, for example, let's say you're running late and you run out to the car. Instead of saying, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm late," instead say, "Hey, thank you so much for waiting for me." Little shift. Now I want to show you how huge this actually is. Okay? When you say, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." What does that do to you? It brings guilt upon you, then the person feels badly. "Oh, don't feel guilty. No, it's totally fine, la la la." And it shifts this whole conversation, where everything's based on guilt and remorse and feeling bad about something. And it just ruins the whole thing. Where you shift it to say, "Oh my gosh, thank you so much for waiting for me," suddenly the person's like, "Oh, you're welcome."
And you just gave gratitude to that person. That person received gratitude. Like, "Oh, no worries. It's totally cool." And all of a sudden, it shifts the entire dynamic, the feeling, the energy, everything shifts after that.
Now this has been a fun one for me because my amazing wife who I love so much, she definitely... Guilt drives her a lot of times. And so she says, "I'm sorry," everything, over and over and over again. And so I've been playing this with her just to see what happens. And so she had to leave for a couple of days and I had to run the kids and everything, and it was crazy, hectic, and stressful, and hard. But as her husband and as the man, I'm like owning it. Right? I'm doing it. I'm doing all the things. I'm doing the hard work. And I'm feeling really, really good about it.
And she called me, she was like, "Oh, I'm so sorry that you're doing all this." And I'm like, "Don't feel sorry. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I'm freaking stepping up. I'm your man. I want you to be thankful for this." And so I told her, I said, "Hey, instead of saying, sorry, say thank you." That makes me feel better about it. I don't want to feel like, man, like I'm this stranger. Like she feels sorry, and now there's guilt. She feels guilty, then I feel guilty that she feels guilty. It just ruins the whole experience, versus her saying, "Thank you."
And so for the last week and a half, two weeks, she's been doing this. Instead of every time she's slips and catches yourself like, "Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh wait, thank you so much for doing that for me. Oh, thank you for taking care of the kids. Thank you for stepping up. Thank you for staying late. Thank you for coming home early. Thank you for..." And just shifting it from "I'm sorry," to "Thank you."
And I cannot tell you the shift in my energy and her energy and the experience together. It is night and day. For me, as the receiver of that, has been amazing. And so I want to share that little hack with you because I promise you, for some of you guys, this will change your life. This will change your relationships. Don't say, "I'm sorry," anymore. Unless you do something stupid, go say sorry. You should be apologizing, but for every situation that's like, you're late, you're on time, someone's doing a favor for you, whatever. Shift it from "I'm sorry," to "Thank you."
And that little tiny shift, as little as it seems, it changes the energy of the moment, changes the person's attitude, changes your attitude, makes them feel gratitude, it makes you feel gratitude. It makes them feel gratitude and everything good will come from that. And so, anyway, I wanted to share it with you guys today because it's exciting for me. And hopefully it'll be an exciting tool for you as well.
So that said, you got two tools now. Number one, "How are you doing today?" "Doing awesome." Number two, "Oh, thank you so much for waiting for me. I appreciate that." Those two little shifts will change everything. All right. Have fun with them. Try it out. Let me know how it goes. I appreciate you all. Thank you guys for listening.
Did you notice that? I said, "Thank you." If I had said, "I'm so sorry I wasted your time today. I'm so sorry that you had to take four minutes to listen to this today." It would have been different, right? So thank you. Thank you for listening. I appreciate you taking the time today. Hopefully gave you value. You guys give me value by listening and I'm grateful for that. Anyway, that said, appreciate you guys. Hope you enjoy this episode and we'll talk to you guys all soon. All right. Bye, everybody.
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