Be The One: How Leaders Win by Owning Themselves | Karl Sherrill
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I'm going to be an impact to somebody every time I interact with them. I will never be perfect at it, but I'm going to try to do the best I can to be the positive influence on people. Why don't you be the one that makes a difference, a positive difference? Like, why don't you be the one that, and see if people would come and complain to me, even at work or at home about stuff in a community. And I'm like, let's just talk through that. What if that person just needs you to be positive? You don't have to agree with them. What if you just be kind to them today? Like maybe that changes the environment they're in. I'm an insurance junkie by trade, and so acronyms flow all over the place. And I figured out, let me take one, and how can I talk about that message in an organized pattern?
And so I just kind of came up with own yourself, nurture others, and expand your influence, which is the acronym that I use for this story.
This message is part of kind of what I've been trying to lead to in my life and also the way that that carries over into how I lead my teams and how that's been a development over time is kind of the big idea. I mean, it's a function of how it carries into every single thing that you do when you get to a point where you understand. I no longer, being a leader for me becomes the big idea, which is I'm just who I am. I happen to have been blessed with experiences and life experiences that have allowed me to uh, fail miserably and to succeed very, very well. And all of that mix, I would say many, uh, much of my years, you know, when I was growing was how do I, how do I hide the failures? How do I get by over the failures?
How do I defend against the failures? And then how do I embrace my success and get more success? And then the secret became that chasing those two different things was more stressful and challenging than just being really clear about who I was and what I wanted to be. And then let that just carry over into how I lead.
What was the catalyst to create that reframe in your brain? Because I think a lot of people never, they never reframe it the way that you did. They get caught in this constant loop of hide my failures, overemphasize my success and try to chase more. And that I think we both can say, and I would completely agree with you, there's no happiness in that down that path. Certainly no long-term happiness. So what was, what was the catalyst for you to reframe that idea in your mind?
I think more than anything, being a father, right? And my fatherhood and leading at home had lots of ups and downs over the years as you grow and you have kids and nobody tells you how to do it. And then you look around and you see people that are doing it well and it all looks like success. And obviously with social media and other things that puts that in front of people, you just kind of wonder sometimes, you know, When it's not what you see, that everything else is defined by the world as success, you start to question how are you leading at home. And so as my children grew, I began to see things like, I mean, silly examples of like just being so caught up in how they did in school at an early age and how important that I thought that was during that time.
and going through middle school, and then as they reach high school, and then the whole, everything in middle school is about getting into the right spot for high school, and how high school is all about college, and there's really, I've got a whole other tangent we could go on about higher education to today's environment, but how all of that pushes you to lead differently than maybe how your heart feels. What my heart was saying when I had young children was, I want them to be healthy, I want them to be happy, I want to enjoy that time with them. And I certainly did. But every once in a while, you would let the world creep in to say, well, yeah, but they need to be doing this, and they ought to be doing this, and they need to be playing more of this, and they should be doing.
And so the world began to dictate how I thought about the way I wanted to define success as a father, as a family for my children.
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