It's All Hard
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Why does Ryan say “it’s all hard” and what does that mean for building a career?
Going on my friends. Welcome back to the Ryan League podcast, where we love to keep things short and sweet for you each and every week. А I recently turned forty. And I keep thinking about man, what I wish someone would have told me like ten years ago. And what I wish someone would continue to tell me as I think about my future, growing anything, reaching my goals, essentially. Мі On this lifelong attempt of trying to reach my potential. What I wish. Someone would have told me ten years ago, what I wish someone would continue to tell me is it's all hard. It's all Hard. Sometimes We could be searching for an easy street. But If you're going to do anything significant. There's going to be Something hard. In fact
I haven't really met the person. Who has it easy? If you're in sales, it's hard. If you're in finance, it's hard.
How does avoiding a difficult decision create extra “interest” for your future self?
People that are knocking on Doors, going door to door, selling stuff, that's hard. Building a clientele from scratch, that's hard. Getting told no. By people you're actually like trying to genuinely help? That's hard.
Leadership. Hard. Being led to It's hard. Parenting, heart, marriage? Hard. Starting over. Hard? Staying the course? It's
all hard. And I I know it's like, man, I would really love a season when it's not hard. I just I'm not sure that that season is ever going to come because hard isn't the obstacle to the life you want. Hard is the price of it. The freedom you're after, the family you want to provide for, the future you keep picturing on your drive home, none of it goes on sale. It costs full price in the currency. It's hard.
What examples show how hard problems change when you postpone them (e.g., rent vs. money management)?
I mean people all the time who's like I I just wanna be at that place where It's not a grind every day where it's easy and I just keep thinking, I mean What place is that? I mean I've met millionaires who are Stressed out of their mind. I've met plenty of CEOs who can't sleep. I've met people who are at the top of their field. Who are dealing with problems most people can't even imagine. Some people look at them and go, Well man, you got the title, man, you got the position, you got the money and it's like Yeah, but the problems In their life didn't go away. They they just got upgraded. Like i when you're broke it's like The hard is paying rent, but when you got money, the hard becomes like managing that money.
When you're single, the hard is The loneliness when you got married, the hardest compromise. You can't be selfish anymore. When you have no platform. The hard part is getting notice, but when you got the platform, the hard part is handling the criticism. Hard doesn't leave anybody. It just changes outfits.
Why do procrastination and emotional regulation make hard conversations even harder later?
But here's the part I've really been thinking about lately. Some hard things get harder. The longer we avoid them. Some of us aren't struggling because we chose something hard. We're struggling because we keep postponing something hard. There is a decision That you know you need to make. But you don't wanna make it because it's hard. There's a conversation you know you need to have, but you keep putting it off because It's going to be uncomfortable. There's a boundary you know you need to establish. There's somebody you need to confront. There's something you need to admit. There's something you need to stop. There's something you need to start and we Convince ourselves that by avoiding it We're avoiding the pain.
But we're not. We're just transferring the pain. To our future self. And usually. We transfer it.
How does delaying a tough leadership conversation affect team dynamics and resentment?
with interest. Interestingly enough, psychologists who study procrastination have found that procrastination isn't always a time management problem. Sometimes it is an emotional regulation problem. We know what needs to be done, but doing it produces an uncomfortable feeling, so we avoid the task. To make ourselves feel better right now. The problem is Your present self gets the relief. While your future self gets the bill. Think about how often this happens in leadership. You know someone isn't performing well but You don't want to have the conversation, so you wait. Now. They think they're doing fine. And you wait some more. Now everybody else on the team is frustrated because
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does Ryan say “it’s all hard” and what does that mean for building a career?
0:01–1:09
2
How does avoiding a difficult decision create extra “interest” for your future self?
1:09–2:10
3
What examples show how hard problems change when you postpone them (e.g., rent vs. money management)?
2:10–3:27
4
Why do procrastination and emotional regulation make hard conversations even harder later?
3:27–4:26
5
How does delaying a tough leadership conversation affect team dynamics and resentment?
4:26–5:38
6
What’s the cost of waiting to set boundaries in relationships versus addressing them now?
5:38–6:49
7
Why is choosing between “hard now” and “hard later” more important than seeking an easy season?
6:49–8:26
8
How can listeners develop the habit of making uncomfortable decisions today?
8:26–10:24