#1535 - Mouni Roy Explores Relationships With Sadhguru
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What is the purpose of this conversation about relationships?
Welcome to the Sadhguru Podcast of Mystics and Mistakes.
My question is, complexities of any relationship, why do they beyond a point become complex? Whether it's between girlfriends, whether it's between boyfriend, especially relationship between a girlfriend and a boyfriend and husband-wife.
Namaskaram, Moni. So you are beginning to taste the sourness of relationships. Of course, everybody knows the sweetness of relationships too, but there is also a lot of sourness. Unfortunately, today we have embodied this from the West again, that if you are to the word relationship, people are generally thinking of body-based relationships, or in some way it has to be between a man and a woman,
Why does the Western view limit relationships to body‑based connections?
or whatever else, but essentially body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they are body-based relationships, usually the excitement about each other's body will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate is not ultimate after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of it. when the main draw which brought people together is kind of melting away, without knowing why they start being unpleasant to each other . Because essentially such a relationship is towards extracting sweetness from another person, extracting happiness from another person.
How does trying to extract joy from a partner create bitterness over time?
So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody, after some time you find when it doesn't yield the same results as it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important, when you're young, certain things may happen as you start growing older. When I say older, from yesterday to today, you're older. I'm not saying you're old, Moni. I'm just saying from yesterday to today, you're little older. So today, you must be thinking in terms of that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships, any kind of relationship that you hold, If relationship is based on your expression of joy, not on extraction of joy, for this you must become joyful by your own nature first of all.
If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant overflow of joy, if it is so, and your relationship is only about sharing this, then you don't have to worry about the normal circus that people go through in terms of relationships.
If you focus on being an exuberant overflow of joy, how does that change relationship dynamics?
Managing relationships. means in day-to-day life, a relationship may not stay just in one area of life. Once people are together, they will have to share many things. Naturally, you will start stepping on each other's toes for many, many small things that happen. Because of this, There will be many interactions or you can even call them altercations. They will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis.
Why is self‑management the key to harmonious relationships rather than trying to control others?
People think they can manage, after some time you will see you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in such a way that you are a natural, exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen. And relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get, you are not getting. If you eliminate this need within you that you are a natural overflow of joy, if this one thing you do, you can have fabulous relationship with every kind of people. irrespective of who they are. They don't have to be your kind. With all sorts of people, you can hold wonderful relationships.
May you have the most beautiful relationships in your life.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the purpose of this conversation about relationships?
0:01–1:23
2
Why does the Western view limit relationships to body‑based connections?
1:23–2:12
3
How does trying to extract joy from a partner create bitterness over time?
2:12–3:19
4
If you focus on being an exuberant overflow of joy, how does that change relationship dynamics?
3:19–3:51
5
Why is self‑management the key to harmonious relationships rather than trying to control others?
3:51–4:46