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The Teen Commandments

Society & Culture Comedy Kids & Family

Episodes

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Your Turn: Rock Choirs & Water Sports

25 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Sara and Clare return to discuss dubious wiping techniques, passions for Rock Choirs, and a fresh batch of your wildest stories - from water sports to...

Sweet Sixteen & Tiny Little Skirts

23 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week on The Teen Commandments: Clare reveals what she got up to in church club, Sara's planning many teen birthday bashes, and there's lots of ch...

Your Turn: Awkward Texts & Actual Maggots

18 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for another Your Turn! Sara and Clare read more of your brilliant stories - from the terrifying things you've discovered lurking under you...

Hair Disasters & Fourth Wing Review

16 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week on The Teen Commandments, Sara and Clare are chatting about group hair dyeing sessions, fruity scenes in books, cheating at school, and Clar...

Your Turn: Bunking Off & A Soiled Jumpsuit

11 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for another Your Turn, where Sara and Clare get to hear from you guys!! Get ready for stories about bunking off school for a shag, discove...

Female Icons & Teen Heartbreak

09 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week on The Teen Commandments, Sara and Clare are chatting about their fave female icons, first breakups and the 16-week ab challenge. You can al...

Your Turn: Cheeky Poems & University Disappointment

04 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Your Turn! Sara and Clare read through more of your fantastic stories this week. Teens pranking teachers, dealing with university reje...

Teen Mental Wellness & Mystic Meg

02 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Teen Commandments! It’s World Teen Mental Wellness Day (2nd March), so Sara and Clare chat about the ever-changing language of menta...

Unhinged Dating Advice & Fructis Garnier

25 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Another Your Turn is here! This week, Sara and Clare unpack your teenage crushes, relive the dubious dating advice we grew up with, and share more sec...

Teen Crushes & Kiss-A-Grams

23 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to the Teen Commandments! Sara and Clare are reading out your ultimate teenage crushes, chatting about how to really bond with your kids,...

Your Turn: Mooning & Jacuzzi Mayhem

18 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for another Your Turn where Sara and Clare hear from you guys! Get ready for stories about darting around in the nude, the art of a good m...

Teen Female Friendships & Heated Rivalry

16 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In today's ep, Sara reveals how she recently tried to bond with her daughter over Heated Rivalry...uh oh! Clare and Sara also chat about female friend...

Your Turn: Saucy Hotels & A Suspicious Briefcase

11 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Another Your Turn is here! Sara and Clare share your wildest stories - including a fruity encounter in a dumbwaiter, a mum saving the day, and a surpr...

Pheromones & Changing Bodies

09 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Sara and Clare are chatting through some VERY important topics such as their first pubes, Valentine's Day, the power of pheromones, and their u...

Your Turn: Stinky Skirts & Eating Hair

04 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Your Turn! Sara and Clare dive into more of your brilliant stories this week featuring an unfortunate white stain, some bondage gear, ...

Cuban Heels & Lemon Dildos

02 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week on The Teen Commandments: Clare shares a blind-date story involving Cuban heels, Sara talks about discovering new hobbies in your 50s, and t...

Your Turn: Feather Bowers & A Quickie In The Woods

28 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for another Your Turn! Sara and Clare read more of your stories about where you got fruity as a teen and uncover even more of your wild te...

Hot Teachers & Getting Fruity Outside

26 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week, Sara and Clare have a natter about blushing infront of teachers, shagging in graveyards, and accidental snooping! We've got a new instagram...

Your Turn: Celebrating 100 Episodes & The Comeback King

21 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

On this week's 'Your Turn', The Teen Commandments turns 100! Woohoo! Sara and Clare chat about kids singing along to Eminem, angsty teenage diaries, a...

New Studio & The 'Everything Shower'

19 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today, you're joining Sara and Clare in their swanky new studio! Fear not, it's the same podcast you all know and love! As usual, you can expect updat...

Your Turn: Nicking Booze, Eye-rolling, and Name Calling

14 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to another 'Your Turn' ep! You can expect more tales of cringed-out teens, ruthless name-calling, and Sara’s shocking realisation that ...

Communal Vibrators and Clare's Empty Nesting Movement

12 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Happy new year folks! Sara's starting the new year off with a trip down memory lane and has found some pretty terrifying memorabilia in her old d...

Your Turn: Dildo Revelations and Falling in the Bath

07 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Hiding teens in the garden, ‘wanker of the week’ made it to Paris and hidden bottles in the bushes.Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch...

Car Park Crying and Diary Confessions

05 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

A tale of two teens: Sara has a Parisian jaunt with her girl and Clare waves hers off on her big adventure. Tell us your teen stories! You can get ...

Your Turn: New Years Eve Special

31 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Teens urinating down the side of the house, minor burn injuries and walking in on a bit of doggy style. Tell us your teen stories! You can get in tou...

Parenting Promises & It’s Behind You!

29 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Clare’s leather moment, entertaining tweens and panto procrastination. Plus both Sara and Clare solemnly pledge to improve their parenting in 2026. ...

Your Turn: Getting fleeced at Christmas

24 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Getting fleeced at Christmas. Plus one teen’s deafening exhaust & a PE teacher who’s PE lesson we can’t unsee Learn more about your ad choices...

Christmas Extravaganza 

22 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Clare’s accidentally come in fancy dress & Sara’s festive jumper nearly causes a panic attack. Plus do your teens join in on Christmas Day and you...

Your Turn: A Police Chase & Teen Braces Fancy dress escapades and a Jilly Cooper love-in, plus one mum’s ambush in the bushes.

17 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch using the Comments or Review sections on your podcast app. Or you can Email us at hello@teencommandm...

Red Carpets and Blended Families at Christmas 

15 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Will things ever be the same now Clare’s mum has hit the red carpet? Plus Sara and Clare discuss how to cope at Christmas, when you’re apart from ...

Your Turn: Elephant in the Bed & Teens on Tour

10 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Bedroom mortification, a swearing grandma and a boob-tape horror story. Plus, teen travel chat that brings Clare to tears. Tell us your teen storie...

Car Breakdowns & Stage Debuts  Clare’s traumatic trip home from Sara’s Children in Need Challenge, plus (literally) show-stopping nativities & fancy Christmas fairs.

08 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Clare’s traumatic trip home from Sara’s Children in Need Challenge, plus (literally) show-stopping nativities & fancy Christmas fairs. Tell us ...

Your Turn: Broken Phones & Selective Hearing

02 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Phone shenanigans, boozy teen antics and empty nest feels. Plus selective hearing severe enough for a doctor visit. Tell us your teen stories! You ...

Christmas Prep & Household Havoc

01 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Attempting to keep the Christmas magic alive with the teens. Plus Clare discovers some DIY teen-style. Tell us your teen stories! You can get in to...

Your Turn: Operation Sober-Up & Groupchat Rants

26 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A house party goes feral, a spectacular calendar fail and one mum’s groupchat toilet rant. Plus listeners’ reactions to Sara’s Marathon Challeng...

Children in Need Challenge Debrief 

23 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A special one-off episode! Sara spills all on her Great Northern Marathon Challenge for BBC Children in Need - surprise visitors, an unexpected royal ...

Your Turn: First Time Fails & Stuck in the Mud 

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Back of the car dunking, carpet nightmares and family pranks. Plus uni fresher transformations and first time fails. Tell us your teen stories! You...

Empty Nests & screenagers

17 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

As 50 looms, Clare contemplates an emptying nest. Plus the great screen battle and will the Children in Need challenge break Sara? Learn more about yo...

Your Turn: Throwing Up & Embarrassing Teachers

12 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Parents behaving badly, post rave escapades and water parks.PS - Thank you for all your emails supporting Sara on her Children in Need challenge  Ou...

Challenge Week & Mocks Hell

10 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Exam prep, teens losing stuff and gutter treasure. Plus Sara takes on her massive Children in Need challenge. Tell us your teen stories! You can get ...

House Parties & Sibling Sabotage

05 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Car journey chaos, sibling sabotage and heartbreak in Italy. Plus house party carnage & one Mum’s brush with a Facebook ban.   Tell us your teen ...

Teen Talk & Raves Abroad

03 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Clare joins the 50 club whilst her teen raves abroad (send prayers). And the mystery of teen lingo.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in tou...

Your Turn: Running Away & (Un)Caring Teens

29 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Care home carnage, parenting while poorly, and nostalgic ‘90s swearing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Halloween & Teen Charm

27 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Teens acting suspiciously sweet and the true horror of Halloween: teen outfits.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch using the Co...

Your Turn: Raunchy Reads & Ocean Accidents

21 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fashion regrets, funfair flings & raunchy teen reads (remember Ralph?). Plus, not one, but two ocean accidents! Tell us your teen stories! You can ...

School Reports & Teens at Work

19 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

School reports then and now, Clare meets the girlfriend, and teens taking on the world of work.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch u...

Your Turn: Fashion Disasters & Mum to the Rescue

15 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

From ‘90s raves to trolley rides, drunk teens and holiday romances. Plus, the fashion crimes we’ll never live down.   Learn more about your ...

Messy Teens & The Pill

12 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

From glamourous award ceremonies to the grime of teen bedrooms. Plus, contraception talk and a meatball meltdown.   Tell us your teen stories! You ...

Your Turn: Headteacher Revenge & A Hairy Horror Story 

08 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Mad bus dashes, graffiti payback & gusset shocker. Plus, one mum’s hairy moment.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch using the Com...

Teen Tribes & Meeting the Girlfriend 

05 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Meeting your teenager’s first love, friendship fallouts, goths and why Sara’s upcoming Children in Need challenge is reminding her of childbirth. ...

Your Turn: Riot Vans & Kicked-In Doors

30 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Uni shenanigans & the world’s biggest “back scratcher”. Plus, fire crew chaos for snoozing teen.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in ...

Teen Heartbreak & Blockbuster Video

28 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Clare’s been chatted up, Sara’s been clingy and both of them have been counting to ten (thousand) with their own mothers this week.   Tell us y...

Your Turn: Wacky Races & A Wee Problem

24 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pick-up threats & juice carton chaos. Plus, Clare confesses bum-thing shocking.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch using the Comment...

Teen Fashion & School Trips

21 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

School trip snogs and teen fashion confessions, from under-bum to rave dummies.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch using the Comment...

Your Turn: Wild Ravers & First Time Tangle

16 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Park bin-cident, first-time tangle & wild clubbing kids. Plus, teens expecting you to KNOW EVERYTHING.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in ...

Home Alone & School Rules

14 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Clare’s hoping her kids (& house) survive as she heads off for some sunshine & NO RUNNING IN THE CORRIDOR as we look back at those pesky school rule...

Your Turn: Teen Tantrums & Wacky Backy

09 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Door-slamming Olympics and holiday babysitting mishaps. Plus, two smokin’ hot hilarious tales of herbal misadventure.   Tell us your teen stories...

Menopause & Big Blue Knickers

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Navigating menopause, results day confessions & Clare attempting deep squats. Plus, P.E. flashbacks… anyone up for rounders?   Tell us your teen ...

Your Turn: House Sitting & Gala Nightmare

03 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Questionable road trip safety, swim drama & one teen’s (almost) explosive house sitting attempt.   Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touc...

Back to School & Affection

31 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Festi fun, Dutch leanings & back-to-school scramble. Plus, getting hugs from your teens & pucker up for smacker flashbacks!   Tell us your teen sto...

Your Turn: Drunken Nights & The 2-Question Rule

26 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Soggy towels make a comeback, family dinner interrogations, and doorbell bum jokes. Plus, some ‘90s night-out nostalgia - warning: may contain Taboo...

New Uniform Faff & Holiday Romances

25 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Yoga class parps, new uniform panic & the highs and lows of teen holiday romances!   We love to hear your teen stories! You can get in touch using ...

Your Turn: Police Calls & Beach Chaos

20 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Prom mum takes a tumble, missing exchange students, and a hairy birthday moment. Plus, house parties,  police visits and a surprise cameo from Pamela...

Murdery Hikes & Uni bound

18 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Teens off to university, Sara’s near-death gardening drama and Camp Bestival prize chaos. Plus, Clare’s teens get super outdoorsy… everyone plea...

Your Turn: Keeping Calm & “Effort” 

13 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sara & Clare are back with more of your teen tales! Stand by for hair cut catastrophes and Disneyland meltdowns, plus one listener bumps into their sc...

Road Trips & Street Safety 

11 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Road trips, catcalling, long haul flights & the horrors hiding under your son’s bed!   We love hearing from you! You can get in touch using the C...

Your Turn: Solo Travelling & A Garden Surprise!

06 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The Teen Commandments inbox is brimming with hilarious gems from listeners! From house parties to transport trials and sneaking out at night-time. Plu...

Family Arguments & Teen Drinking

04 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sara and Clare chat sleepovers, alcohol, and confrontation with your teens.    Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch using the Commen...

Your Turn: DIY Eyebrows and Makeshift Condoms

30 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sex workers on the sidelines, those infamous DIY Eyebrows and makeshift condoms! Tell us your teen stories! You can get in touch using the Comments o...

Mum Dancing & Teenage Fashion 

28 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Family gigs, teen body image and Crossed Wires, plus Sara & Clare are bringing Teen Commandments to Camp Bestival.    Tell us your teen stories! Y...

Your Turn: Family Dinners & Home Alone

23 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The inbox is bulging with everything from bullying tactics and teens ignoring the dinner bell, to post-party soggy sofas & bath time validations.   ...

Siblings & Teens Negotiating

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Best Friends Sara Cox and Clare Hamilton on sibling rivalry, secondary school taster days, teens calling a ‘House Meeting’ and helicopter parentin...

Your Turn: Teens in Trouble & Dance Moms 

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

As ever there are some absolute cracking emails in this week’s episode.  One listener reveals the most cringing story involving a dog and a used c...

Summer Jobs & Water Parks

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Gather round everyone whilst Sara & Clare try and unpack the astonishing minds of teenagers. This week the best friends want to know why kids are tau...

Your Turn: Half Penny Sweets & DofE 

08 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Countless cracking emails from the listeners this week, with stories of teenagers pooing in strange places and pocketing half penny sweets.    A l...

Perms & Curfews

07 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fresh from the Gogglebox sofa, Sara and Clare are back in the Teen Commandments shed trying to work out the mind-bending behaviour of teenagers.  Th...

Your Turn: Sneaking Out & The Chocolate Fairy

02 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve dived back into the inbox and there’s some absolute corkers from you!   In this ‘Your Turn’ a teen steals from mum’s snack stash so...

Teen Travels & Celebrity GoggleBox  

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After nearly 3 decades in showbiz has Clare managed to get Sara cancelled? Brace yourselves as the pair make their Celebrity GoggleBox debut (catch up...

Your Turn: Secret Gardens and Tampons

25 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sara and Clare are back to read all your excellent emails in this week’s Your Turn.   A listener’s been in touch about a not-so-secret garden ...

First Loves and Bullying

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sara and Clare are back, trying to work out the chaotic minds of teenagers.   This week a new gaming gadget has appeared in Sara’s house and Clar...

Your Turn: Festivals & Coming Out 

17 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time to open the inbox again and get your stories.  A non-parent has been in touch, which Sara & Clare are thrilled about. He’s just he...

Stealing & Raving 

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s been a busy week at TCHQ: Sara’s taken out a swanky gym membership to bond with her son, and Clare’s been left totally speechless by her te...

Your Turn: Teens Decorating & WHY? 

11 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for the legends, aka the Teen Commandments listeners, to share their brilliant teen tales.  One mum is all L plates & pure panic as she ...

‘Urgent’ Phone Calls & Money Madness

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s episode comes live from the shed, where Sara Cox and Clare Hamilton try to understand the primitive behaviour of teenagers.  Why do te...

Your Turn: Fun Sponge & Ouija Boards

04 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Your Turn, where Sara and Clare attempt to untangle the bird-brained behaviour of teenagers, courtesy of your brilliant emails. This week ou...

Social Gatherings & Teens Flopping

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, Sara and Clare’s best-friendship is firmly solidified by the sniffing of a beefy face. Summer holidays are looming which means a house f...

Your Turn: Periods & Poos 

28 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Come on in for period chat, as one listener has tampon trouble plus a mum’s been in touch to share the most memorable moment of her parenting life. ...

Sports Day & Snogging

26 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Best friends Sara and Clare welcome you back to the Teen Commandment shack where they try and make sense of the startling behaviour of teenagers. It’...

Your Turn: School Reunions & Revision Hell

20 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hey gang, welcome along, it’s Your Turn where Sara & Clare dive into your emails to see how you’re coping with this “parenting teens” lark as ...

School’s Out & Being Grounded

18 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome TC crew! You know the saying “you’re only as happy as your least happiest kid”? Well, it’s been a gold star week for Sara and Clare at...

Your Turn: Teen Wars & Chatting-Up Clare

14 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sara & Clare go through your emails, letters, stories and confessions about parenting teens and your own naughty teenage years.   One mum’s been ...

Teen Bedrooms & Grandparents 

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Find a space, get comfy, help yourself to drinks… Sara and Clare are here for you, trying to tackle even more bonkers teenage behaviour.  This wee...

Your Turn: Tears & Love Bites

07 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

More of your mind-blowing gob-smacking stories and confessions in this week’s Teen Commandments, Your Turn! A listener shares the heart shattering...

Prom Season & Late Night Chats

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sara Cox & Clare Hamilton are back in the shed with more tales of mind-foggling teen behaviour.  Sara and her husband had a romantic weekend away wh...

Your Turn: The ‘Everything Shower’ & Peeing Off Piste

04 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Emails from Teen Commandments disciples have been plucked out of the inbox for Sara and Clare to share with the world.    There’s talk of Imperi...

Teens Arguing, Exams & Hank the Hunk 

27 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s not been a glamorous start to the week at TCHQ! Clare’s been playing the role of both referee and nurse with her teenagers, and Sara’s take...

Your Turn: Chores, Unpacking & Party Pooper (literally)

23 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

More hilarious tales of teenager behaviour, courtesy of your fabulous emails.    One dad has done a ‘deal’ with their teen to avoid them both ge...

Heroes, Hikes & Public Rows

20 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Heroes, Hikes & Public Rows   This week Sara and Clare strike a pose as they become beauty influencers - kinda.    Another man makes an impress...

Throwing Stuff, Sun Cream & Totting Up Your Totty

15 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Your Turn goes international as Sara and Clare open up the email inbox via Cyprus and Manchester. Sara’s on sunscreen duty, treading the fine lin...

Holidays & Hair

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week’s Teen Commandments  comes with an all-inclusive buffet and sea views. Sara is on holiday with two teenagers, feeling thoroughly left ou...

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