Tim examines the Matt Gaetz scandal, ICBM’s for Christmas, F1, how many Italians are on social media, Trans-Republicans, getting blitzed with your parents, female incels and why he didn’t grow up with game night. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Morgan & Morgan For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim Blue Chew BlueChew.com & Use Code: ‘TIM’ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
Chapter 1: What scandal is Tim Dillon discussing?
I don't know what they do. But they're in the kitchen making a stir fry or something. And then they just hear Matt Gaetz. But Matt Gaetz, friend of the show, like our friend Diddy, friend of the show, withdrew his nomination for attorney general. And I believe, am I correct about this? He's now on Cameo.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe I saw that.
This has been the worst 48 hours of this man's life. Can you imagine going from thinking you were going to be the attorney general and then you're on Cameo wishing people a happy birthday? Is this really true? Is he really on Cameo? He's charging $500 to make bespoke fan videos on the Cameo. If you don't know what Cameo is...
Cameo, and no shade to anyone who's on Cameo, by the way, but Cameo is not ideal. It's not the ideal career setup is to be on Cameo getting random requests for birthday messages and then having to fulfill them Now there's a lot of talented people on it and blah, blah, blah, whatever disclaimer you want. I will never do it. I don't care how desperate I am. I will never do it.
I will first, I will defect to a foreign country. I will, I will do anything but cameo. Why didn't he just go back to driving the minors over to state lines? Why are you on cameo? Have you no dignity? I mean, say what you want. Can you imagine? Say what you want about Ghislaine. Do you think Ghislaine Maxwell would want to be out of jail right now so that that bitch could be like, hello?
Hi, Teresa. Happy birthday. It's just like Maxwell. Your friend Lauren sent in a request here on Cameo, and she wants you to know that you're gorgeous, darling. You don't look a day over 38. Happy 40th. Like, no. Do your time. Do your time. Sit in the cell. So Matt Gaetz, he has problems, this person, because here's the thing about Matt Gaetz. He's uncanny. Is this real? Is life real?
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Chapter 2: What does Tim Dillon think about Matt Gaetz's career shift?
Yes.
I served in Congress. This is his cameo bio. It says, I served in Congress. Trump nominated me to be U.S. Attorney General. That didn't work out once I fired the House Speaker. That was a reference to events in October of last year when Gates triggered the historic removal of Kevin McCarthy, a fellow Republican, the first Speaker ever ejected by his own party.
So now Matt Gaetz, the issue here is that Matt Gaetz has been accused of sex with an underage woman.
Trafficking.
Yes, trafficking.
Trafficking and having parties with women.
Sex parties, and then some of them are underage.
One of them was 17, apparently.
And they've testified against him in a closed-door session.
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Chapter 3: What accusations are against Matt Gaetz?
Go into the woods. There's a gun in my mouth. I don't care. Don't do cameo. Now, are we going to play his cameos right now?
I think we should see one of them.
This is unreal. This man, and I don't know anything about this. I know very little about him, really. We're going to move on soon to talk about... Biden is trying to kill everyone now. He's trying to kill everyone. But before we move on to that, the only person looking forward to a nuclear war with Russia is Matt Gaetz because then he can get off cameo. Play one of these, please. Horror, horror.
Hey, Toby.
What is that? Is this real?
Hey, Toby, Matt Gaetz here.
Let's stop this for once. Let me just say one thing. Trump transition team, of which I know some of the people. We've had the vice president on the show. You know, many people in the comedy community have been super chill about it. But I know some of you listen to the show. This can't be what this can't be. This it's not going great with that. Right. Going smoothly.
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Chapter 4: How does Tim Dillon feel about Cameo?
Like, I just hope my hope is my goal is. Because I want the country to succeed. Even if Kamala or anyone were to win, I would still be giving them advice. I gave them advice. I gave the Democrats advice. They don't listen. They don't listen. The Republicans listened to my advice, which is why they won. Truly. In the beginning, they were like, Kamala's a communist. It didn't work.
And I'm like, no, no, no. She believes in nothing. And she doesn't know anything. And then they switched. And then they won. Am I saying it's me? No. But... It was good advice because she's not a communist. She has no integrity in calling some... I know a lot of communists and they have integrity. They're wrong, but they believe in things. She believes in nothing.
So what I'm saying now is that I just don't want a situation where three or four of the people that have been nominated are on camera. Please, God. Can we not have three or four of the nominees end up on Cameo? Please, God, I don't want to see RFK and Tulsi on Cameo, who I think are both very qualified and should be in. I just don't want to see Pete Hegseth on Cameo.
The goal of this administration cannot be to deliver nominees directly to Cameo. That can't be it. Cameo is salivating at the slate of people that are up there now. This can't be the way it's supposed to work out. Now, whatever Gates has done, and I imagine it's not great. Imagine Gates has problems because he's not going back to Congress. He's out.
I don't know what he's going to do, but here he is, and we're going to watch his cameo.
And I mean, this is... So this Hey Toby one is a pep talk one, but this holiday one just dropped while we were taping this one.
Play the holiday one. It's a holiday episode. Okay.
What's up, Deb and Terry? This is Matt Gaetz. I wanted to wish you a very special happy Thanksgiving. You've got a terrific son-in-law, Eric, and I know your daughter, Kelly, is very happy, along with Eric, to be there enjoying your terrific cooking in Utah. Thanks for being in the fight. Thanks for backing President Trump and all of our efforts to save the country.
It's, you know, it's a time of Thanksgiving, but I'm giving thanks to all the opportunities we have ahead for our country to get our trade policies right, to stop the invasion at our southern border, to get the economy humming. And I have not gotten over the shock and excitement from this election. I thought we were going to win, but I had no idea.
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Chapter 5: What are Tim Dillon's views on nuclear war?
It's almost like this group of people doesn't have loyalty to a particular political ideology outside of the interests of their financial backers who happen to sell weapons and run a very profitable machine all over the world. So they'll show up on Fox News and then they'll show up on MSNBC. It doesn't really matter. Whichever way the winds are blowing, that's an oligarchy. We all know what it is.
Bill Kristol will say the Iraq war is a great idea. When the Republicans roll into that, you'll see him on Fox. Then he'll go to MSNBC and go, I hate Trump and I'm a never-Trumper and we need to confront Putin. We need to arm Ukraine. We need to go into Iran. which is the new hilarious thing, by the way, this Iranian plot to kill Trump, which is clearly fake. The Iranian CIA wink-wink plot.
It's the Iranians. The Iran is trying, yeah? The Iranian plot. Why would Iran try to... Just think about this for a minute. Why would Iran try to kill the candidate who's less likely to go to war with Iran? Why would they kill the guy who's presenting himself as the anti-war candidate? Does that make any sense to anyone? I'm not saying you have to be a political genius. Think about this. Iran...
Okay, you have Israel and Hamas. You have Israel and Iran. All of the issues happening, it's a democratic administration that is funding Israel and certainly not in any meaningful way backing down Netanyahu or anything. And it's not like Trump is running on this bellicose, I'm going to kill all the mullahs in Iran thing.
He says things here and there, but he's presented himself and he's surrounded by people, for the most part, who don't want to go to war. Why would the country of Iran want to assassinate the president of the United States? It makes... zero sense in a logical way, it would mean the total destruction of Iran. They know that. They know that. Why would they do it? I don't think they're doing it.
I don't actually think it's them. I think it's somebody else is blaming it on them. And this is from people who are much smarter than me and know more things than I do. But why would it be Iran? It's odd. That's like Syria is going to kill Taylor Swift. What is happening? What are you talking about? Where's Gates? Let's play. This is the first ICBM used in the history of war.
I'm sorry, in the history of this war. Oh, wait, any war? The view of the intercontinental ballistic missile used today by Russia with multiple reentry warheads on a city in Ukraine. It's possibly the first use of an ICBM in the history of war. Take a look at this. It is a beautiful, and by the way, send this to everyone as an e-card for Thanksgiving. Send it to them as an e-card for Thanksgiving.
Take a look. Can you play non-copyrighted holiday music while this happens? Yeah, I'll put it up on YouTube. Because I think it's about attitude, and I think it's about the way we present something. I don't think it's about the raw facts. I think it's all the way you look at it. Perspective is reality. Is there a way to make Russia firing an ICBM, can we make it feel real?
Can we make it feel nice? Do we have to focus on the negative aspects?
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of the ICBM mentioned?
Chapter 7: What commentary does Tim Dillon provide about U.S. foreign policy?
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Hey, das ist für dich. Egal wie du frühstückst. Ob mit deinem Lieblingsmüsli, einer fruchtigen Bowl oder cremig schaumigen Kaffee. Mit Alpro wird jedes Frühstück einfach für einen gesunden Start in den Tag. Mit wertvollen Vitaminen und Mineralien. Ohne Zuckerzusatz. Und immer phantastisch lecker.
Alpro. In honor of Military Appreciation Month, Verizon thought of a lot of different ways we could show our appreciation. Like rolling out the red carpet. Giving you your own personal marching band. or throwing a bumping shindig. At Verizon, we're doing all that in the form of special military offers.
That's why this month only, we're giving military and veteran families a $200 Verizon gift card and a phone on us with a select trade-in and a new line on select unlimited plans. Think of it as our way of flying a squadron of jets overhead while launching fireworks. Now that's what we call a celebration because we're proud to serve you. Visit your local Verizon store to learn more.
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Chapter 8: How does Tim Dillon critique modern political loyalty?
This week people are taking the lyrics of Defying Gravity and really holding space with that and feeling power in that. I didn't know that that was happening. I've seen it, yeah. That's really powerful. That's why I want it. I didn't know that was happening. I've seen it on a couple posts. I don't know how widespread, but, you know, I am in queer media, so that's my, you know. That's pretty cool.
Yeah, but yeah, it's happening. I've seen... Okay, well, that's lovely.
That's great. Celebrities are so crazy that this is the thing. You see all these celebrities now trying to do podcasts because they realize Hollywood's just been fed into a shredder. You know, it's been fed into the mulcher from Fargo. That... I mean, there's just... It's crazy to watch celebrities try to be human beings on the internet. It's one of the craziest things I've seen.
It's like mega A-list celebrities who are now trying to be people on the internet is the craziest thing I have ever seen. The great thing about celebrity when I grew up was the mystery, the mystique. You didn't really know about these people. You didn't really want to. Because when you walked into a movie, you wanted to see...
somebody who you knew was an amazing actor or actress, you'll disappear into that role, right? You didn't want them to have been doing podcasts for years. You didn't want to know everything about them before they became whoever, you know? Like if Shiv Roy, if Sarah Snook from Succession had had a podcast for five years where she talked about her pussy, it would have lessened it.
You want her to be Shiv Roy. I don't care about Sarah Snook. No one does. We care about Shiv Roy because she's an amazing actress. And if Sarah hears this, there's no offense. but we want you to live in a little jungle in Australia and play with your koalas and kangaroos. And then when we have another great role for you, we want you to emerge as that.
We don't want to see your omelet or whatever you had. It ruins it. It ruins it the same way. I don't want to see Matthew McConaughey on two pairs. No offense. I want to see Matthew McConaughey be doing really cool actor shit. I don't want to see him trying to be a relatable human being. The only human being I want to see is Matt Gaetz.
Where the fuck is his cameo? In honor of Military Appreciation Month, Verizon thought of a lot of different ways we could show our appreciation. Like rolling out the red carpet. Giving you your own personal marching band. or throwing a bumping shindig. At Verizon, we're doing all that in the form of special military offers.
That's why this month only, we're giving military and veteran families a $200 Verizon gift card and a phone on us with a select trade-in and a new line on select unlimited plans. Think of it as our way of flying a squadron of jets overhead while launching fireworks. Now that's what we call a celebration because we're proud to serve you. Visit your local Verizon store to learn more.
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