Tim examines holiday luck, good bets, the United Healthcare CEO, the snacking industry’s optimism, Hunter Biden’s pardon, a dictator’s DJ daughter and the president’s latest nap. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Omaha Steaks Our listeners get an extra thirty dollars off with Promo Code TIM and a thirty-dollar reward card when you shop early. That’s fifty percent off at a Ibotta Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code TIM. Thats I B O T T A in the Google Play or App Store and use code TIM Gametime: Get The Gametime App & Use Code: 'TIM' Blue Chew BlueChew.com & Use Code: ‘TIM’ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
Chapter 1: What holiday themes does Tim discuss?
If you're offended to that, you've done well enough. I would like some Christmas music as we watch Christmas. Die Verabschiedung der CEO der United Healthcare Company. Und wiederum, ich weiß nicht viel über den Fall. Ist da etwas zu wissen? Was ist da zu wissen? Ich habe etwas über Nancy Pelosi in einer kongressiven Investition gelesen.
Ich weiß nicht, was passiert ist, wer was gemacht hat oder warum. Ich werde dir das Tweet in einem Moment lesen. Aber mehr wichtig ist, dass es eine Fable ist. But it's real people, it's a holiday story. It's a story about the unknown, about the unknowable. It's kind of magical. And I'm not, again, I'm not making light of this man's death. I don't know this man.
But I know he died doing what he loved. And I know that he died participating in the world.
Okay?
And I'm sure maybe many of his family or friends are watching this or someone's sending it to them and they feel... Es ist Weihnachten in New York und jeder sitzt bei der Feuerwehr. We're killing CEOs of healthcare companies. It's Christmas in New York. It's Christmas in New York. Men in hoodies are shooting their enemies. It's Christmas in New York. The kids are throwing snowballs.
People are throwing bullets. People are ice skating. In Central Park People are getting shot at point-blank range in the dark It's Christmas in New York Have a coffee and kill Have a coffee and kill Have a coffee and kill your enemies No one really cares
no one really all right let's watch the i hope that's a classic who does that hallmark i want to get on that now this is what we call music and it's that and it's the the song i did about the that eden galan that that eurovision israel palestine song i did but Let's watch a news. Can we watch a little bit of the CBS News on this? Because a lot of people don't know about this.
Remember that movie John Q, where the guy, you know, Denzel Washington's like, you denied my son an operation, then he takes everybody hostage. People are thinking that's what this is. That for whatever reason, someone has made a political stance to kill the CEO of a healthcare company. And by the way, let me say this right now. I never support random acts of violence.
I don't think they are a good way to change policy. That's not something that we support on the show. I was against it when during 2020 there were riots and people's businesses were getting burned down and people were losing their livelihoods. I believe that you cannot just lash out violently and kill people. But it is Christmas and people get emotional. During the holidays, this is true.
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Chapter 2: Who was the United Healthcare CEO and what happened to him?
Hunter's laptop has photos of this guy smoking crack and fucking hookers with guns to their head. And Biden has a chance to make this go away. And he does. That's what family is for. And if you're a family values guy, if you're a family values guy, you gotta respect a man for pardoning His crackhead son. You respect him. That's his son. That's my son.
The other one died of brain cancer because he was in a burn pit in the war. This is the only son I've got left. And yes, he's a crackhead. And yes, he fucks hookers with guns to their head and takes photos of it and puts it on a laptop that he then turns in to get fixed. And then it all leaks out into the press and it's embarrassing. Yes, but he's my son.
And yes, he probably did cocaine at the White House. He's my son. He's my son and he's of course, maybe he's cracked a few women across the face. You know what a crack argument is like? You know what it's like when you're arguing with a hooker on crack? Okay? Standards and practices go out the window.
When you're arguing with a Ukrainian whore on crack, you can't be held responsible for what you do. No one's at their best when they're fucking a Ukrainian whore with a gun to their head. That's not how any of us should be judged. None of us should be judged like that. None of us should be judged while we're fucking Ukrainian whores with guns to their head.
Whilst on crack, we should be judged by our paintings or the nice things we say. We shouldn't be judged for our shady business dealings with Burisma, an energy company we had no business working for. That's not how we should be judged. We shouldn't be judged when we toot a little cocaine in the White House. Because it's boring. Government's boring. We shouldn't be judged by that.
We should be judged by the nice things we do. He's a painter. Look at the paintings. And of course, if you had the chance... To make this go away, if, you know, Trump's getting in there, Trump's gonna start to look at all of the things, all of the lawsuits, lawfare, indictments pursued, all of the Russiagate stuff, maybe the assassination.
Trump's gonna look into the weaponization or what he feels or perceives as the weaponization of the Justice Department against him. He's going to look at the prior administration's behavior and activity. If Biden can get rid of the problems that his son has, he's going to do it. And he did it. He owes nobody anything. He's dead. Biden's elderly and dead. He barely knows where he is.
He hates the Democratic Party. He's just trying to shield his only crackhead son from retribution. He knows there was fuckery. His son was let loose in the Ukraine. God only knows what Hunter Biden was doing in the Ukraine when he was working for that energy company. God only knows what he was up to. Can you imagine bumping into Hunter Biden in Kiev when his father was the Vice President?
What he was offering? What was on the table? He was a crackhead. Do you know what he was offering people with the access? He was, my father is the vice president. He was calling drug dealers and threatening them, going, my father is the vice president. If you are not in this hotel with Rock in an hour, I'm going to have you killed. There's no way he was conducting himself in a reasonable manner.
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