Tim discusses the “ceasefire” in Gaza, the impending Tik Tok ban, his decision to bail on the inauguration, and the audacity of realtors trying to sell houses in LA after the fires. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: VIIA If You’re 21+, Go To https://viiahemp.com/ And Use Code ‘TIM’ to receive 15% off AND, if you’re new to VIIA, get a free gift of your choice a Helix Go To https://HelixSleep.com/TimD for 27% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows (MLK Day sale through 01/22/25) ShipStation Go To https://shipstation.com And Use Code ‘TIMDILLON’ to sign up for your FREE trial ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8 Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
Chapter 1: What is the ceasefire situation in Gaza?
Alpro. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Are we excited about the ceasefire? I am pumped about the ceasefire between Israel and Hamas. It's a ceasefire, baby. What happened to that? What happened to the days when Bruce Springsteen would write a song like that? It's what I desire, a ceasefire. And it would be... Ein Moment.
Ich fühle mich nicht so, dass wir genug davon heute haben. Wir haben keine Momente. Wir haben keine. Wir haben keinen schönen Moment. Wie einen schönen, weißt du. Nun, die Leute sind an Israel wütend, weil der Zerstörung am Sonntag offiziell beginnt. Und gestern, glaube ich, haben sie ein paar Leute getötet, die den Zerstörung feiern. That's what happened.
There was a bunch of people celebrating the ceasefire and Israel killed them. Well, listen, have you ever said, I'm starting a diet on Monday? What do you do Sunday? It's lasagna night. So, Israel is starting a diet of no killing of the Palestinians on Sunday. They're starting a strict ketogenic diet. No carbs killing Palestinian babies at all, for any reason, on Sunday.
Chapter 2: How does Tim Dillon relate diet to the ceasefire?
But up until Sunday, you're going to loosen the belt loop a couple, no? I mean, it's like Sunday we're going to do the right thing, but tonight we dine in hell. I mean, that's kind of the... Israel ramps up deadly airstrikes on Gaza after a ceasefire deal is reached. They need a few days to get it out of their system, from what I understand. They need a few days.
You can't go cold turkey on killing. You have to ease off. You gotta ease off. You know, when I was in fifth grade, I was coming down a hill in Goshen, New York. It's a suburb in Rockland County. It might be Putnam. Either Putnam or Orange or Rockland County. It doesn't matter. The point is, I was coming down a hill. I pumped the brakes, I flew off the bike, and I got scars on the elbows.
Rocks and everything went on the elbows, because I pumped the brakes, and I flew off. I mean, I'm sorry, I jammed on the brakes. I didn't pump them. You gotta pump the brakes. You gotta slow down at a speed that doesn't just jolt you. And I didn't, so Israel's gonna have to, you gotta give them a minute. They've really been killing now for the span of, what, two years? Is it two years of this?
A lot of it, right? Almost two years? It's almost two years of them kind of, you know, killing. So they have to take a little, you know... And hopefully, you know, by Sunday, they can kind of, like, chill. And now Hamas... Remember Hamas? Hamas is going to let the hostages out.
But before that happens, right here it says, Israel, Hamas, cease for ideal will go into effect too late for Akram Abu Ahmed to see his children again. His family's sole survivor after an Israeli airstrike. Ahmed was sleeping in the area of Gaza City in the early hours of Thursday, celebrating the news of the truce when he heard a loud sound and he was thrown into the air.
Dustin screams around me. For Israel to attack. Like, it's a party to celebrate the truce. And Israel... I mean... It's really, it's really, it's out of line, but also, like, there's a level of irony there that cannot even fully be understood unless you are one of the people at that party having fun.
Maybe there's a dance, like, kind of like a ceasefire, like, you know, like one of the dances they do. And then... Here it is. This is going on. Everyone's happy. And then you go, hold on, what's that? What's that noise? Look at how happy everyone is. Then, then, then there is a noise and everybody looks at each other and it's like, you know, It's to curb your enthusiasm, music.
Because, you know, you're out there celebrating a ceasefire and then you get killed. During the ceasefire celebration, it's one minute, it's a celebration of a ceasefire. The next minute, someone's leg is in your lap. And you're like, what is going on? I thought we were done with this. But Israel says, no, no, no, no, no, Sunday. You're a little early. You're a little early.
We're starting this Sunday. Today is not part of it. I wonder if Israel said that. Today is not part of it. We're going to get a few airstrikes in before we start. And they killed 115 people. Well, I'm going to call this right now. I don't know if I'm right. And I'm going to say this and people might get angry with me or people might not agree with me.
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Chapter 3: What are the latest updates on the TikTok ban?
They think it's bullshit. They're right. Doesn't mean everything on TikTok is great. Doesn't mean everything is well sourced and balanced. It means that it's a place where they can get a bunch of different perspectives all over the place. So soon I started to see videos pitched directly at me. Welcome notes created from the American TikTok user who recently arrived on Red Notes.
Sure, so Red Note is the Chinese Communist CCP. They're like, you think TikTok's bad? You have no idea. And it proves an interesting point. Nobody is going to put their phone down. They will join Al-Qaida's app. It doesn't matter who has an app, by the way. What North Korea puts out an app, they're on that. There is no morality when it comes to boredom. You need to scroll. You're bored.
So it doesn't matter what nefarious group puts out an app. It does not matter if the Assad family, who just got kicked out of Syria, if Bashar Assad puts out an app, these kids are on it. Because they're bored. They're bored and they want to scroll. They don't care. Satan himself could put out an app. If the algorithm is enticing to these kids, they're on the app. They don't care.
They're going in. Red Note is not even the least of it. As soon as a terrorist group finds a way to entertain Americans, it's over. It's over. Truly. If a terrorist group found out that Al-Qaida is wasting their time with cells in America trying to pull off attacks. If you listen to the Sean Ryan show every day, it's somebody else talking about Al-Qaida.
Chapter 4: What is the impact of TikTok on American youth?
But if they're wasting their time, what they should start doing is dances in their backyard to get American teenagers on their side. It'll happen very quickly. It'll happen overnight. All you have to do is figure out an app that's entertaining because America wants to be entertained. I want to be entertained. We all just want to be entertained. So entertain us to death.
Kill us through entertainment. That's what you have to do. Das ist das, was die Chinesen wahrscheinlich realisieren. Sie sagen, wir brauchen eine App, um diese Leute zu entertainen. Das wird sie überwinden. Und es wird. Es wird. Also, wenn du eine Terrorgruppe bist und du willst einen Mark machen, musst du wirklich eine soziale Strategie herausfinden.
Du musst eine soziale Medienstrategie herausfinden, um amerikanische Jugendlichen zu enttäuschen. Nun, das ist eine Frau oder jemand von anderer Gender, who's talking about her experience on the Red Note app. Let's listen to her. Let's see what she's got to say about Red Note, the Chinese app. I joined Red Note.
You can only do 15 characters, so my handle is pretty sweetacres and it's missing an E right there. Ich weiß nicht. Es ist ein totaler Kulturschock. Es gibt viele Sachen, die nicht auf Englisch sind, aber ich bin bereit. Ich habe mich entschieden, mit der Goat Run Club Video zu beginnen, der erste, der viral wurde. Bis jetzt habe ich ein paar Likes bekommen. Weißt du, was ich meine?
Chapter 5: How does Tim Dillon view the real estate market in LA?
Aber das lustigste Ding, und ich weiß nicht, ob das ein Übersetzungsproblem ist, oder ob sie wirklich denken, dass das Tiere sind, aber... Ich habe viele Kommentare bekommen, die sagen, oh mein Gott, die Pferde sind so süß, wie die Haare, die Pferde, sie sind Haare. Und es sagt, sie sind Haare, Pferde, kleine, kleine, so viele Pferde, Baby, ruf!
Also sind das die chinesischen Leute, die direkt kommentieren? Ja. Also die chinesischen Leute sind nicht sicher, ob es eine Pferde oder eine Haare gibt, es ist egal. Vielleicht ist es nicht die Sprache. Vielleicht ist es nur so, dass es nicht übersetzt wird, wie wir es denken. Well, this is a great, this is fun because now it's China and America getting together. And that's kind of interesting.
I watch a lot of those Chinese videos. I like them. The Chinese rappers, those Chinese rappers and they rap and they make food. And some of the food looks good. Some of it's a little frightening. But it's cool if you ever see those like Chinese rappers. It's like a family of older. They do music and then they're also cooking like crazy food. I think they are big on TikTok.
I watch all that creepy Chinese food stuff, where it's like really creepy Chinese food. Like a really... Like a really creepy Chinese dish that they make. Like you'll see like a woman with a machete just hacking up a jellyfish and then eating it with her bare hands. I watched that. I watched that. And I don't care who made it. I don't care if North Korea made it. It's interesting to watch.
It's interesting content to watch. You watch something like really creepy on TikTok. That's what people want. And that's why we're all powerless. The algorithm is gonna win. So there's nothing you can really do about it. There's nothing you can really do about it. The mukbang, all of these things. People started with, like Trish Paytas started with mukbangs.
Trish Paytas is now on like a world tour. Obviously she's very talented, but like, you know, you can get people, you can entice people any way you want. You gotta get them in. You gotta gross them out. You gotta, like, captivate them in a certain way. And then you have them. And it's not good. I'm not saying this is like quality. I'm just saying you're kind of paralyzed in front of your phone.
It's why the Costco family, the demon ball, except the Rizzler, who I don't think knows. The Rizzler is unaware that he's surrounded by demons. You can see the Rizzler sometimes kind of quizzically look at them because they're so obviously demonic, the rest of the family, Big Justice, AJ, the sister and the wife. are obviously the representation of an entity, a biblical entity called Baal.
It's actually evil. And that's why they do the incantations. I've explained it a million times. But the Rizzler, I don't believe, is part of Baal. Because the Rizzler is not in their family. The Rizzler was picked to kind of market Baal and the evil family to the public. So every now and then, the Rizzler will do something like human, like cry, right? He'll be upset.
We never see AJ and Big Justice show human emotion. Weil Baal eine schwierige Zeit damit hat. Der Dämon. Der Rissler kommt rein und er wird verärgert. Und jedes Mal, wenn er die Rest der Familie anschaut, wird er sagen, oh, ich bin nicht wie sie. Ich denke, der Rissler sagt, es gibt etwas in ihnen, das nicht in mir ist. Und das, mein Freund, der Rissler, ist Baal.
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Chapter 6: What are the implications of hostages being released?
Das ist die biblische Entität, der Dämon Baal. But what this has opened, by the way, the Pandora's box that this has opened, and the reason that I talk about these algorithms and what they're pushing, people have called it brain rot, people have called it, you know, there's all kinds of names for it. But what it is, is absolutely meaningless, pointless, garbage, that you are being...
FED, that is being mass marketed to you and your children that doesn't make you smarter or sharper. And it doesn't mean that there's not good stuff on there. It doesn't mean that there's not really important and impactful stuff. It means that a lot of what is going on right now, like for example, there are so many people reviewing food that
And it's not even from an educated, they're not educated, they're not chefs. They don't know anything about food. They don't know anything about anything. And they just go to a place and they eat the food and they go, this was good. That's it. They go to a place, they just sit there, they go, I'm trying Raising Cane's new fucking, or Dave's Hot Chicken's new fucking hot chicken fries.
And they got the fries and then the hot chicken and this sauce and this and that. And then it's just somebody eats it and goes, that goes hard. Das ist das Video. Jemand, der französisch isst, sagt, das geht hart und das ist es.
Und dann beginnen all diese Unternehmen, diese Leute zu sponsern und den Geld zu zahlen, um zu diesen Plätzen zu gehen und diese Sachen zu essen oder diese Sachen zu probieren. Also ist die Zukunft der Unternehmensarbeit in Amerika SponCon. Only. The future of entertainment in this country is companies paying people, teenagers, adults, whatever demo they're trying to get.
It's paying people to go and try their products and review them positively on apps like TikTok or YouTube. Instagram, whatever it is. They're basically... You just... They just... Yo, that slaps. Yo, that goes hard. Sometimes it's like a teenage kid and then sometimes like a full-on adult. Like an adult who just pulls up outside of a Sonic and goes, I'm gonna try the Sonic whatever.
And then they're sitting in a car and then they're eating the Sonic and... Und ich weiß nicht, es ist wie, ich wette, am Anfang von diesem, Sonic war so, das ist schrecklich. Das ist wie eine schreckliche Person, die sich aufhört, Essen in ihren Gesicht zu schieben. Wir wollen das nicht. Wir wollen es nicht.
Und dann, ich wette, nach einigem Zeit, kamen sie rein und riefen die Zahlen und sie sagen, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, das ist wirklich gut. And the executives were like, wait a minute, are you sure? This thing's a monster.
And they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, but this millions of people are watching this morbidly obese person who cannot sit in their car, eat and then make the sounds like that weird, that like... And the executives of Sonic Republic, wait a minute, this is gross. We hate this, right? And they go, no, no, no, no, no. It's actually great. It's actually motivating.
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Chapter 7: What does Tim Dillon think about content creation on TikTok?
It does well. The guys, they're playing golf in Scottsdale. They go, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's actually great. Wait, wait, hold on, Bob. Bob, that guy I showed you who screams about the cookie and the chicken's big. No, they actually like it. No way. They love it. The numbers are up. People are going in and they're getting these cookies and they're taking photos with them.
That guy is getting bit like it's got a shock. The executives at some of these companies that this content actually drives the numbers. So now that they know it does get ready. Get ready for the onslaught, because now they know. The executives of these companies know. The word we're going for is cringe. It's not, like, it's like, it's gotta, like, it's gotta, people have to be puzzled at first.
Like, it's about to get real weird out. Not that it's not weird around, I don't even, the drones might be a campaign for Arby's. We don't know what's, the drones could be Arby's. They might go, well, yeah, those drones that were over the military, it's Arby's.
Like, it's gonna get so weird and so crazy with the way that companies are gonna choose to advertise stuff to you because they know that you have to initially be repulsed. You have to initially be repulsed. Like if I was KFC, I'd go, take a chicken tender and leave it by the scene of a murder. That's what I would say.
I'd say, wait for someone to get murdered and then take a tender and leave it by the scene of the murder so we can get involved. Just take it. Be careful. Because we don't want them thinking you murdered the president. But just roll a tender by a body and take a photo. And then we become part of the news. Like the way that companies are going to market stuff now.
Like when I was growing up, they never had any respect for you. It was always like they played on your emotions. Like the Budweiser Clydesdales would like take a knee after 9-11, you know. And it would be like from one American icon to another. oder die Frogs, Budweiser, du weißt, was ich meine.
Jake von State Farm, all diese Sachen, all diese Flow von Progressive, all diese Charaktere, die du gewohnt hast, okay? Diese Kampagnen wurden gebaut, um diese wackigen, zähnigen Charaktere. Jetzt bauen sie Marketing-Kampagnen um psychologisch unstable Menschen. That Costco guy will take his family Benoit-style, he will take them out somehow.
It will end, that Costco marketing campaign will end worst in Fogel somehow. It will end worst in Jared Fogel, the pedophile who lost a bunch of weight eating the BMT or whatever he ate. I'm telling you right now, they're now just reaching out to psychologically unstable people who consume their products day in and day out. Auf Kamera.
Und diese Unternehmen sagen, wir sollten mit diesem Psycho in den Bett gehen. Wir sollten in den Bett gehen mit diesem Nutjob, der Sirup trinkt. Es wird ein Kerl sein, in der IHOP-Parking-Lade, der Sirup aus den Dingen trinkt. Okay? Und IHOP wird sagen, wir sollten in den Bett gehen mit diesem Kerl. Wir sollten mit ihm was tun. Why not? And you see what happens.
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Chapter 8: How are companies changing their marketing strategies?
It's no longer like double mint gum with the hot chicks. We're no longer going that route. We're no longer getting a model. We're no longer doing any of that. We're getting someone that looks like the people. We're getting a monster. We're going to get a monster to market the shit. Because that's who it's for. So we're going to get a monster to do it.
We're going to find, we're going to hand select one of these demons from the internet. And we're going to stuff their pockets with money. And we're going to go fill a tub in your house with Raising Cane Sauce and bathe in it. You're a monster. And that's what we want. We want you. You're a monster. Okay? The old school ones like McDonald's and Burger King, they're not quite getting it yet.
You can still see they're trying to do like that old school shit and it's not really working. They're still trying to do, they're like, at McDonald's, but they need to find a monster. Like if you're a fast food company and your sales are low, if they're dipping, you gotta get a monster. Like Wendy's has got to get a monster. What about a guy on death row whose meal is Wendy's?
It's his last meal and he eats Wendy's every day until they put him to death for the murder. He murdered two sisters. He murdered and raped two sisters and lit their bodies on fire in the woods in rural Tennessee. And he's going to the chair or whatever they have. He's going to lethal injection. But he's gonna eat Wendy's the night before.
That's what we're, you know, he's gonna eat a Big Bacon Classic before they strap him to the gurney. Und er muss, und sie werden ihm seine Familie Geld geben, aber er muss über Wendy's reden. Wenn er da oben ist, verpackt, bereit, sich zu injizieren, muss er über Wendy's reden. Auch über den ersten Schuss.
Der erste Schuss, um dich zu schmerzen, und dann der zweite Schuss, der deine Organe schließt. Auch wenn sie dir den ersten Schuss geben, musst du über Wendy's reden. Und den zweiten Schuss, natürlich, kannst du nicht. Sie müssen das beherrschen. Sie müssen jetzt ein Monster bekommen. Oder eine Familie von Monstern, um Ihr Produkt den amerikanischen Menschen zu verkaufen.
Und wenn Sie das nicht tun, sind Sie verrückt. Die Enauguration kommt. Donald Trump wird inauguriert. Die FBI wird von einer non-spezifischen Terror-Frage geäußert. There's going to be a lot of military. I'm not going to go. I thought about going. I was invited and I appreciate that. I was invited to VIP and that's very nice of them. But I've got a birthday coming up. I've got shows.
I've got things. I've got this. We have fires in LA. My house is burned down. I lost my home. We're going to have a GoFundMe up for me very soon. It's tough to see everything you've built. You know, a dream that I worked so hard for. Go up and smoke. Literally. Literally. And we're going to have a GoFundMe up for me to just get me even. As Vegas Matt would say, get even or get even worse.
I just want to get even. Just make me whole. Just make me whole. Taxes, insurance, to mortgage everything together, we need about 4 million to make me whole. Hopefully I'll run into a few friendly faces. U.S. Capitol Riders return to D.C. to celebrate Trump's inauguration. If you are a Capitol Rider, is this not the greatest day of your life?
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