Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. J.D. Vance says war is done in a year. How cool is that?
Chapter 2: What does JD Vance say about the Iran War?
One more year. We've been a little skeptical here of the vice president, J.D. Vance. But I think it's fair. One more year of a war that no one wanted that we seem to be losing sounds like a good deal. I mean, another 12 calendar months of humiliation on the global stage with economic ramifications for all seems fair. It can't end tomorrow. Another year of a humiliation for this country.
And further proving that we are not militarily capable in the way that we thought we were. J.D. Vance says, Iran war will be history in a year. Well, good. And what kind of history will it be? That's the real question. Fun history. Remember that war in Iran, you'll say, wasn't that a hoot? Fun, fun, fun. The war in Iran.
Trump wants Karg Island, which is the home of the Iranian oil infrastructure. President Trump said the U.S. military will attack Iran very hard tonight. But then he keeps doing this thing where he threatens Iran. the regime with a bombing campaign or ground troops, or he kind of, you know, teases nuclear annihilation and then nothing happens. So it's an interesting strategy.
We just threatened to do something and then nothing happens. And then the Iranians tell us to fuck off. And then we go, Hey, you want to end the war now? And they go, not really, not really. So I think the Straits of Hormuz are closed again. Here's the other thing about these wars. After a while, you just start losing, like, you know, you'll be talking to people.
You go, is the Strait of Hormuz open or closed? They go, I don't know. Who knows? After a while, like the Russia-Ukraine thing, it made me think about it. They're in year four of that, whatever the hell that is. Wars don't work anymore. Russia should have been able to beat Ukraine, even though we gave Ukraine a bunch of shit. We gave them a bunch of weapons, some money.
But Russia should have been able to handle that, but they didn't. And we should have been able to take care of Iran, but we didn't because wars don't seem to work anymore. You can't win these things unless you start nuking everybody and there's nothing to win. What would you even win? If you win, you lose because now you have this country that you have to control.
We all learned all of these lessons with Iraq and Afghanistan and actually we learned them before that with Vietnam, but no one really cares because there's a lot of money to be made in war. And there's a lot of money to be made in the chaos right after a war, in like the aftermath of a war. So the goal here, I don't even know, is the goal to win?
Do the people who push this stuff even believe we can win? Do they even want to win? What is winning? Or is it just kind of like, what if we just had chaos before? And missiles flew around, and they killed some of our guys, and we killed some of their guys. And, you know, we hold some territory, give some territory up. That's what they're doing in Ukraine and Russia.
I don't even know what's going on in Iran. No one knows. But it doesn't seem to be. You can't govern the world anymore with this use of force, right? You have to do it the way the Chinese did it. They did it with like TikTok. They did it with corporate espionage. They're doing it with a Belt and Road Initiative. They're going all over the world. They're like building schools.
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Chapter 3: How do sports fans react during the NBA Finals?
He goes, I know some of you are transferring, but most of you, this is it. This, you went to Fresno Community College and now your horrible life starts. And I like, did he, does he say most of you or some of you? Go back. Let's run that back. And to be honest, I think he says some of you. I don't even think he says most of you. He knows they're not going anywhere. Where are they going?
Where the fuck are the kids at Fresno Community College going? You are about to be handed Israel. It will open doors you cannot see from where you're sitting right now. I know some of you are transferring. Some of you. That was me. That was him. And to be honest, the next part is harder than this part. It is because it's a real school.
You will sit in a classroom and feel like everyone else knew something you were never told. Yes, they did. Who their father was. They knew who their father was. They did know something you were never told. This is your father and he has a job. Of course they know something you weren't told. Who is this guy, by the way?
This is like a guy who works at the, this is like the regional manager of Geico that they bring in here. And God bless him. What does he do for a living? Oh, Stanford electrical engineering class of 25. Wow. He started at Fresno Community College. There's always one. And then they bring him back. Let's finish out his little statement there.
Because, by the way, ain't nobody else going to Stanford. That's it. And he should tell them that. He should go, I went to Stanford. None of you will. I'll tell you where you're going to end up. You're going to end up in a rest stop bathroom choking down cock, whether you're gay or not. Elon Musk has a trillion, a billion, ain't nothing, and a hundred millions a joke. You can't get a house.
A house is $3 million. A smoothie is $45. And an Uber to go kill yourself is $89 to go get in a suicide pod. So shut the fuck up. I went to Stanford and you're not gonna. You don't have the money in your bank account to order an Uber to once a suicide pod. You're going to borrow that money from a friend to go and end your miserable life. Elon Musk has a trillion dollars. You've got shit.
You've got shit. Going to a steakhouse now for a meal costs what you pay for rent. So it's over for you. Your generation's been fucked, and you'll continue to be fucked, and many of you will go insane. This is what I would say. Many of you will go insane, and the process will be quick. It won't be long. It won't be something that takes place over years. You will snap.
Quickly, you'll be in traffic, you'll get the 15th job rejection, and you'll snap. And that's when you're going to want to grab a weapon. And a lot of people on this commencement speech will tell you to not do that. Not me. Not me. We've left you no choice. We have left you no choice but to grab a weapon now. because we have put you back. We're putting you back in the bush.
You're going back to nature. You're going back to the jungles again. You will fight for food. You will fight for water. You will trade, and you will barter, and this is your life now. I'm sorry. Favors, ask somebody for a ride so you can sell your blood or semen or whatever you got left. Unless you find a way. Unless you find a way to go on Polymarket. And it's not an ad for Polymarket.
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Chapter 4: What sparked the recent riots in Belfast?
Things get hot, literally and figuratively. So unless people feel like they can wrestle some control of their country's back, we all have to build an isolation bunker. All of us have to be in the bunker, not just Barry Weiss. Good night.