The Toast
United We Swirl: Thursday, November 7th, 2024
Thu, 07 Nov 2024 16:56:35 -0000
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Chapter 3: Who are the performers set for the CMA Awards?
You always do. It's a tough week. Yeah. But this is where boys become men. And I've been in this job for a long time. And I know people like to complain about my story selection, but it's times like these. You bitches will be grateful.
Manner maketh man. Yeah, because I was even thinking like, even my own media consumption, whether it's TV or TikTok, it's only election stuff. And like, what are the celebrities doing?
Now you'll be able to appreciate my flair for the obscure. It's true. I will be able to appreciate like your food news, your biz news, your- It's actually like not food and business. The stories are actually deece. And also the thing about the celebrities, and of course there's so much election news, but like so many celebrities were like-
involved if they were being present it was like for the election so like they were all sort of like off doing that it really left a small pool for like non-partisan celebrity things you mean bipartisan celebrity things and or non yeah actually yeah non yeah anything but partisan yeah yeah I mean this the toast is non-slash bipartisan like those are our pronouns non-slash bi
The toast is anything but partisan.
It's so true. All are welcome here. I've seen actually, I've also seen like a lot of discourse regarding influencers and the election, like people's response either being too much, not enough. And I think my, and it makes sense, but my TikTok algorithm like definitely thinks I'm a chronically online person and like these crazy takes. It's like, where would they get that?
They think that this is what I want to see because just by the sheer amount of time, it's a logical conclusion to get to. So I've really seen some wild stuff in the last couple of weeks. And you can count on, I'm sorry, in the last couple of days, you can really count on the toast to just be here doing our thing. Yeah.
Consistent. That's what we're going to do. And I know like a lot, like I've been receiving a lot of praise. People like love it. And then people like, you guys are gross. Okay, fine. Like I literally, you can't please everyone. I just want to do my job, please.
If the anything but partisan strategy like doesn't work for you. A, B, P. Den, the toast is not for you. And the good news is, is there are so many partisan things out there for you. We are anything but partisan. I love that.
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Chapter 4: What twist did Dave Portnoy reveal in his feud with Zach Bryan?
We're just for the swirlies, like all swirlies. We are United We Swirly. Title, title. United We Swirly. United We Swirl. Yeah, that's better. United We Swirl. Because it's a verb. When you think of swirly, like the word swirly, what do you picture swirly? Um, like maybe that blue emoji that's like a swirl.
Or like a little swirl. I always, always picture an ice cream cone. Like maybe I'm just fat. Like I just, cause like when you go to like Tasty Delight or like any place that has vanilla and chocolate, you're like, can I have a swirl? Right? You say that. Yeah, vanilla chocolate swirl. Yeah, swirly. When I think of a visual representation. But a swirl is different than a swirly. It's not.
When I think of a visual representation of the word swirl slash swirly, like I think of an ice cream cone. But now I think of a gorgeous girl who's having a great day. Yeah. That's what I think of now. Who's got a song in her heart. Yeah. And has joy to share with the world. And joy in her eyes. Yeah.
That's beautiful. Is anything but partisan. By the way, people have been so funny in the comments because somebody was like, dare. No, wait. I have a dare for you guys. Dare you to give actual advice instead of telling people to break up with their boyfriends. Like, I can't.
Okay. I actually, I need to discuss that comment because I feel like yesterday I did a rare thing and saying like, maybe it's time to hit the eject button. I feel like I typically, I'm in like, I'm typically last to say that, especially when people like are married, I'm a work it out sort of person.
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Chapter 5: What casting choices did NBC consider for Michael Scott in The Office?
And then I feel like I get flack for like giving men too much credit or benefit of the doubt or like having too low of a bar. It's better. That's a really good point. Seriously, I can't win. And I can't care. Maybe if some lesbians could write into us about their problems, like that would make it a lot easier. Yeah, but then I don't think we'd be the right ones to be giving advice. Oh, please.
I have two lesbian best friends. Don't start with me. Oh, please. I know, please.
I have tons of lesbian friends. Sure, sure. Sure you do. Oh, you know what I'm doing tonight? No. Brian actually invited us to this event that I'm actually so excited about. It's like a Joan Rivers comedy show tribute with like, you know, Nikki Glaser, like lots of like top comedians and all the proceeds go to Joan's charity and got in. In Gaza? No, no, in God's. God's will we deliver.
God's love we deliver. Thank you. Not in Gaza. In God's love we, similar. And I'm so excited. One, because I haven't seen The Swirlies. And two, like, I just, I don't know why I'm acting like I'm going to see Joan Rivers. Like, she's not going to be there. But the vibes are like, the vibes are high. Am I wrong for feeling like you should be up there shaking that thing? You are not wrong.
Okay, okay. Even though you know, like, my favorite thing to do is sit. Like, the last place I would want. I wouldn't be looking forward to tonight if I was, like, there. If you were, like, working. No, I want to sit and, like, have a drink and, like, be with my friends. But it's, like, comedians doing, like, comedy in the Elk of Joan Rivers?
I think it's, you know how they do, like, Kennedy Center Honors where, like, most of the times the person is alive. But they have people come and, like, do your songs or your shtick and, like, talk about you. I think it's very much like that. Yeah, like... I'm glad that you're going and supporting, but I'd rather see you up there shaking that thing.
You know what came up on my time hop the other day? Not time hop. By the way, iPhone literally put time hop out of business with their memories thing. By the way, I still use time hop. Shout out time hop. Do you know what came up on my time hop? Do you know what I'm about to say?
no do you remember when we like got a tour of Joan Rivers old apartment yes and the air conditioning wasn't on it was so hot um yeah although we have like all these pictures inside of her house like really weird I just was reminded of that that's like an underrated thing that we've done yeah things we did that walk through an apartment yeah that's no longer owned by Joan but at one point was and hasn't been renovated so if you watch her documentary which you know I have a piece of work you recognize a lot of it from her documentary
Yeah, and we walked it. Yeah. A guided tour. It's kind of a sick apartment. It is sick. Half of it was like maid's quarters. Yeah, it's very Gilded Age.
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