Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Libraries Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

The Tony Kornheiser Show

“All the Ice Cream is Gone”

08 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What has Tony planted in his vegetable garden?

0.031 - 8.052 Tony Kornheiser

Hey, it's Tony. On today's show, we will talk to Barry Zerluga about starting his new job with The Athletic, and we'll dive into the NBA playoffs with Tim Legler. But first, commerce.

0

11.38 - 14.007 Unknown

Previously on The Tony Kornheiser Show.

0

15.303 - 42.812 Tony Kornheiser

If you're SiriusXM, take note. The victory is getting the live person. Oh, yes. Getting away from the chat bot. Yeah. The robot. Just hang tight. Hang tight. Anyway, so at least one of the numbers that Joel Dollinger gave me was good. That's outstanding. And I'm grateful for that. And I don't want to even talk about the SiriusXM one. I'll just talk about it briefly. When you finally get a person.

0

44.108 - 46.895 Unknown

The Tony Kornheiser Show is on now.

0

47.016 - 61.737 Tony Kornheiser

It's unbelievable how that strikes a chord with people because all of us go through the same thing. You get someone offshore. They tell you we can't tell you where we are. But you can ask for my social security number. And I'm supposed to give that to you, but you can't tell me where you are.

61.938 - 69.251 Unknown

Follow the script. There is a great story in the emails about a very high-profile figure that was trying to deal with customer service.

69.451 - 70.533 Tony Kornheiser

Okay. Well, I'll get to it.

70.553 - 73.719 Unknown

What's your go-to SiriusXM channel these days? Still Coffeehouse?

74.5 - 78.041 Tony Kornheiser

I don't listen to it ever. I don't listen to it ever.

Chapter 2: How did the Nats perform in their recent game?

313.097 - 341.989 Tony Kornheiser

They are par 4, par 4, par 5. Here's my scores yesterday, and they are generous because I didn't bother to make the last putt. 6, 7, 8. I had a snowman on 12, and on the other par five, number five, I had a snowman. Were you tempted to go for the nine on 13? Six over. No, I was not. Just for the card. 13 was my only par of the day. I hit a tee shot on with a seven wood.

0

342.009 - 344.393 Unknown

Well, you had a small bucket at the previous three holes.

0

344.413 - 352.072 Tony Kornheiser

It's just unbelievable how terrible I am. Had I finished 18, I only finished 16. I shouldn't say I finished 16.

0

352.212 - 358.45 Unknown

Were the misses coming from the final 100 yards or were you just like blading wedges across the green and then leaving something in the bunker?

0

358.47 - 359.252 Tony Kornheiser

I couldn't hit a tee ball.

359.62 - 361.602 Unknown

I topped every tee ball after number two.

361.743 - 362.303 Tony Kornheiser

I don't do that.

362.704 - 364.346 Unknown

No, you drive like a single-digit handicap.

364.366 - 385.713 Tony Kornheiser

So I assume that I was teeing the ball up too low. I don't know. Had I completed 16, I would not have broken 100. I didn't complete 16 because when I put the first two balls in the water, I said, that's it, I'm done. I'm done. It's the only water in the court. I put them in the water. So I'm done. So I'm a terrible, terrible player, saved only by the fact that I love it.

Chapter 3: What are Tony's thoughts on his golf game?

764.13 - 779.177 Tony Kornheiser

Yeah. Maybe you've got people, maybe it's eyes on and 24 hours a day, they got people on the sides looking for people who jump or fall into the water. Why would you take a cruise? I know it looks good. I know they do really good advertising.

0

779.217 - 779.477 Unknown

They do.

0

779.497 - 793.651 Tony Kornheiser

Don't do it. They do. Don't do it. The Hantavirus. Is this going to be like COVID? Well, no. No, it does not. Now, the problem with Hantavirus, as I've researched it... The problem? There's lots of problems. The problem is you die.

0

793.811 - 810.394 Unknown

The big problem is that it's got like a 40% mortality rate. Oh, my God. Now, COVID, I think, compared to it was like 0.05 or something like that. So we don't want that to go deep. But... It's such a virulent... Inhaling rat feces! Yeah, stay away from rats is one good tip.

0

810.414 - 820.594 Unknown

But it is such a virulent, fast-moving disease that the symptoms show up very quickly and you get it very quickly that it's very difficult to spread in a wide way.

821.196 - 822.498 Tony Kornheiser

Nobody wants to take this boat.

822.799 - 822.859

No.

822.839 - 850.686 Tony Kornheiser

No, Canary Islands were like, don't bring it here. And nobody wants to evacuate the people and put them on airplanes. Nobody wants to do that. But, I mean, you know, if people had a choice, they would just say, just keep the boat moving. Keep it away from us. We'll drop food and just keep the boat moving. Now, this is, once again, about cruises... You can get sick. You can jump over the side.

850.907 - 853.253 Tony Kornheiser

A rogue wave can knock you over.

Chapter 4: What are the implications of Ted Turner and John Sterling's passing?

1135.284 - 1141.492 Tony Kornheiser

You went to the athletic. You began to work in May. I think you were off until May. How is it so far?

0

1143.154 - 1167.181 Barry Svrluga

Coming to the end of week one here. And I'm hoping it is, you know, a reasonable version of my old job that can, you know, serve the fans of Washington and give them some insight about the teams that they care about. I spent the last couple of days at Nats Park. getting to know the new people there and writing off something yesterday.

0

1167.502 - 1189.989 Barry Svrluga

And I'll head out to a little commander's availability later today. So get my feet wet in familiar territory subject-wise, but a little bit unfamiliar territory in terms of where it's published. I mean, I haven't had a First day on a new job in 23 years. So it's a little unsettling at some level, but really comforting at another.

0

1190.27 - 1196.002 Tony Kornheiser

So you went to the Nats game yesterday? I did. You went with the other 300 people in the stands?

0

1197.365 - 1201.949 Barry Svrluga

I counted 310, but, you know, we'll... We can quibble.

1202.13 - 1224.432 Tony Kornheiser

Yeah. I mean, so I watched. I mean, I watch you all the time. This is not new. And I should tell people that you were there at the start of the Nats in Washington, right? Or shortly thereafter, weren't you, at the first year? No, I was the first beat writer at the Post, yeah. Okay, so you know the Nats. You know the history of this particular franchise as well or better than anybody.

1226.154 - 1246.101 Tony Kornheiser

There was a regime, the Mike Rizzo regime, that lasted a long time. They were swept out. A guy came in from Boston who's 35 or 36 years old, hired a manager who's 33 years old, who, you know, it's all new. They cleaned house. What do you think of the kid manager? What do you think so far?

1247.002 - 1274.132 Barry Svrluga

So, I'm impressed. I mean, listen, I've been watching in the time that I was off. It is, they handle things much, much differently. I did not meet Blake Butera until... Wednesday, when I went there for my first time professionally, certainly handled himself well. I'm not going to concentrate on the age. I don't want to demean them for being 20 years younger than I am. That's not their fault.

1274.152 - 1281.927 Barry Svrluga

They were given these jobs and entrusted Paul Taboney with leading a brand new baseball operations department. But I will say, Tony,

Chapter 5: How does the hantavirus pose a threat to public health?

2172.34 - 2178.387 Unknown

Let's get those tomatoes in the ground. We've got, you know, obviously Mother's Day. We've got the PGA next week. They're opening up stores here.

0

2178.647 - 2179.929 Tony Kornheiser

Yes. One on Bethesda Row. Yes.

0

2180.269 - 2181.01 Unknown

It's very exciting.

0

2180.99 - 2207.492 Tony Kornheiser

Johnny O, we're so happy for Johnny O. Oh, yeah. I forgot to ask John McClure about Johnny O. I should have done that. But that's wonderful. TK Plant. TK Plant. Things are in the ground. Plays in Tim Legler, who was on the PTI show yesterday and was wonderful, as always. And I'm just, I guess I'm curious in a general way. You're there, you watch all these games. Many of these games are routes.

0

2208.213 - 2219.985 Tony Kornheiser

Many of them are not close. But better teams are winning these games. I'm just sort of wondering, has anything truly surprised you so far in the playoffs where you go, wow, I did not expect that?

2221.427 - 2231.848 Tim Legler

I think if I had to call out one surprise, it would be Denver going out as early as they did. I think also... You know, they dealt with injuries.

2231.948 - 2248.527 Tim Legler

Boston being home already is a surprise to me, but again, they had a pretty critical injury, and that series flipped on its head in a way that I didn't really see coming when Joel Embiid returned to that lineup, and that really was the difference in the Boston-Philly series. So I think that we're sitting here...

2248.844 - 2256.412 Tim Legler

You know, in the early stages of the second round, and we don't have Boston or Denver still playing. I guess that would be my biggest surprise.

2256.872 - 2278.679 Tony Kornheiser

Yeah, I think that makes it much easier for Oklahoma City and or San Antonio, I think, is a logical challenger. But it just it looks like people are sort of fading away here. And Oklahoma City looks really good all the time. But there's always a but. They're playing far weaker teams, far weaker teams.

Chapter 6: What insights does Barry Svrluga share about covering the Nats?

3248.452 - 3249.554 Tony Kornheiser

Why am I so dumb?

0

3249.715 - 3251.218 Unknown

T-Mobile sounds like the way.

0

3251.358 - 3267.912 Tony Kornheiser

Yeah, well, I've heard that also, you know. And I got Derek West helping me, except I don't understand all of it. There's another one here. My name is Christian Everhart. I'm 13 years old. I'm writing to you from St. Michael's, Maryland. I've been there. I'm currently stuck in the back of my dad's car.

0

3267.892 - 3283.721 Tony Kornheiser

Likely headed over the Bay Bridge, which I know is your personal nightmare, or listening to the latest show. My dad absolutely loves the podcast, so I'm still trying to figure out if your struggle to call Amazon or your AT&T bill rents are meant to be a master class in broadcasting or just a warning for my future. I'm actually starting my own podcast.

0

3283.741 - 3297.197 Tony Kornheiser

I've decided to model it after yours since you're clearly the best. I figure if I can master the art of complaining about the price of crab cakes, Buster Olney's potatoes, and the true origin of a Lilyhammer jacket, I might eventually get people to send me free ice cream and golf shorts just to keep me quiet.

3297.597 - 3314.015 Tony Kornheiser

I promise that when my show hits it big, I'll never refer to you as pal, buddy, or chief. I'll also make sure my car is cleaner than Wilbonzo. From what I hear, that isn't saying much. Hope Chessie is feeling better and you've finally sorted out your cable problems. Stay safe, and if you're on your bike tonight, do wear white. Christian Eberhardt, St.

3314.035 - 3316.28 Tony Kornheiser

Michael's Maryland, which I'm sure a little help from his dad, maybe.

3316.32 - 3316.64 Unknown

Maybe.

3316.66 - 3317.342 Tony Kornheiser

I'm going to take a shot.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.