Chris Williamson’s Advice to Men: How to Survive a World of OnlyFans and AI Girlfriends
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so you're in first of all thank you for doing this you're in the middle of a nationwide tour speaking live before big audiences and there's a q a component in every uh every gig every performance and you're getting questions directly from young men what kind of questions are you getting consistently
A lot of them around directionlessness. I'm out of full-time education. I'm in my early 20s or I've just left a relationship or I've worked for a while and got myself to a state of success. that felt unfulfilling to me and I don't know where to go. And I think that this sort of speaks to the lost archetypes, the train tracks and the examples that would have previously been laid out for young men. And directionlessness is a huge one. um trying to find a balance between drive to improve and gratitude and self-love for the moment uh the sort of um you are enough versus hustle bro blend guys want to be able to go and conquer they want to really achieve things in the world but also they realize if they're permanently looking over the shoulder of the present moment waiting to see what comes next
they might miss their lives. You know, there's this idea called the delayed happiness hypothesis, which is basically that as people move through life, they always promise that happiness will arrive when? Once I have got the graduation, once I have got the next job, once I've got the girlfriend, once I've got the house, once I've paid off the mortgage, And what you realize is that this idyll that you are running toward is actually your death and you've just speed ran your entire life. And I think that they're becoming increasingly more aware of that, which is good. I think it's a balance between wanting to be more and being enough already. And this is a tension that exists inside the mind of everyone, but I think men especially.
And those are two big challenges. I'm stuck in terms of direction. I don't know where to go. And I'm trying to balance high standards with self-love.
I don't know where to go. So they've completed... The task set before them, they made it through in the U.S. 16 years of school. And they get all their little merit badges or whatever. They're graded along the way and everyone's so proud. And then they graduate and they kind of like they have no idea what to do.
I felt this. I did two degrees, a bachelor's and a master's at university with a year in industry as well. So I was at uni for five full years. I was in full-time education for 18 years. And it's kind of like being on a set of train tracks for a long time. And yeah, you're sort of a passenger and you get to move up and down the carriage and contribute a little bit. But the destination that you're going toward has been prescribed for you. And then it's kind of like being thrown off the train into a car with no roads. Just saying, hey, good luck. Try and find your way. And I think that the challenge is... a lot of the rules and the advice that would have worked for grandfathers and maybe even fathers of these guys, the archetypes and the roles that they would have previously stepped into aren't there in quite the same way.
There's been a lot of structural changes that have adjusted the landscape that men and boys exist in over the last 50 years. And that means that a lot of the role models and examples and well-trodden paths don't feel like they're there in the same kind of way. So navigating those structural changes as a young man is not easy. So what did you take your degrees in? What did you study? A bachelor's in business and a master's in international marketing. I can't remember either of them.
And then did you go into international business when you left school?
Not even remotely.
What did you do?
I sat down in my first ever seminar, the week after Freshers Week and the first week of university, sat next to a guy and I said, I've spent all of my money partying in my first week of university. I'm skint, I've run out of cash. I need a job. And he's like, well, I'm going to go and hand out flyers for a nightclub.
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