Co-parenting with an addict: divorce & raising a son w/ autism ft Laura Clery
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What warning and overview open Laura Clery's conversation about addiction and abuse?
trigger warning please note this episode contains themes of abuse suicidal ideation and drug use he broke into my house and threatened me i was on my way to the courthouse to go get the restraining order and as i hear bang bang bang i turn and there he is oh my gosh you probably know laura clary from her viral comedy sketches stand-up comedy or one of her new york times best-selling books over the last decade she's built a devoted audience of more than 26 million followers but behind the laughter her life was quietly unraveling
I look on YouTube and there's a video from him titled, I separated from my wife. I'm getting all this hate. You monster, you witch. I call 911 and I'm like, my son, he's six years old. He's nonverbal. He's been missing for 10 minutes. Obviously thinking of all the worst case scenarios, like was he hit? Was he taken? Like you just don't know if you're ever going to see your son again.
We talked with Laura about her ex-husband's secret relapse, escaping what became an abusive relationship and raising a son with autism all on today's episode. Just so that I pronounce it correctly, Clary, right?
Some people say Cleary and some say Clary and I just accept both. I don't know how to pronounce my own last name.
Are you serious?
No, I think it's Clary. You think it's Clary? I'm pretty sure. Who can we contact?
Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome Laura Clary to the pod.
Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. You know, I've never flown anywhere to do a podcast before. Oh my gosh. You're my first flight. We're so honored. Seriously. Honestly, you guys are so honored. We are.
We are. Wait, what, what was it about us that made you like agree to flying to us?
My publishers made me.
What did they say?
They were like, it's a great podcast. You need to get on there.
I love them.
Oh, sorry.
How did Laura discover and manage her son's autism and elopement behaviors?
Bleep that.
We'll bleep it out. We can mute it.
Oh, man. Sorry. I got to watch my language. My daughter is five. She goes... I go, pretend to be me. And she goes, oh, I need coffee. That was her impersonation of me. And I was like, that was good. And then she was like, you guys need to get in the bath right now or no more screen time. We need to get in the bath. You're filthy. And that was her next impression. And then her third one was, where the f*** are you? my purse. And I said, Poppy, I don't say that. She goes, yes, you do. So I really need to watch my language. Just bleep it.
We definitely will. I think some people do listen to our podcast with their kids in the car. We typically keep it clean, but... I'm curious.
It's like for kids too. Oh, not for kids. No. Okay. Yeah.
Okay. But I mean, hey, as a mom to a five and seven year old, what's your take on that? Do you let your kids cuss? Are you not?
I think it's so funny when kids swear. But I also say if my daughter ever says a little swear word, I'll say don't ever say that in school. You can... Say it at home, fine, but never in school, never out. And she understands. I don't think it's a big deal. My son, and I don't condone it either. And I really do try to watch my language. I just have a mouth like a truck driver, unfortunately. I'm working on it. Progress, not perfection, people. But my son, I remember he's on the autism spectrum. And so he was nonverbal. He was diagnosed just under two with level three severe autism. And they were told, I was told he might never speak, might never be independent. And that was very terrifying. So when he started to speak, every word was celebrated.
So when he walked around going, oh, shit. I was like, he said, oh, you know, it was to be celebrated.
When was it that he first started speaking?
Well, he just turned seven. And I would say around six is when he really started putting sentences together. Yeah. Just spontaneous sentences. I remember just getting him to say one word was, it took hours and hours of therapy. And then now he's at the point where He'll look at me and go, mommy, let's go for a walk. Or I want toast and almond butter. Yeah, it's hard for him, but he works so hard at every word.
How often, because I've been listening to your podcast.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What warning and overview open Laura Clery's conversation about addiction and abuse?
0:00–1:48
2
How did Laura discover and manage her son's autism and elopement behaviors?
1:48–11:04
3
How did Laura get sober and what does AA teach about resentment and recovery?
11:04–51:39
4
How does Laura define giving and service in recovery?
51:39–53:12
5
Why did Laura try a co-parenting podcast and what happened next?
53:12–55:10
6
How did public posts lead to CPS, stalking, and a restraining order?
55:10–59:25
7
What practical advice does Laura share for co-parenting, inclusion schools, and healing?
59:25–1:44:56
Speakers
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