The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Wed, 29 Jan 2025
Shauna Rae joins Matt and Abby to share her journey of overcoming challenges shaped by her rare condition, pituitary dwarfism. She opens up about facing discrimination, struggling with infertility, escaping an abusive relationship, and why she’s keeping her boyfriend’s identity private. This episode is sponsored by LiquidIV, Acorns Early, Beam and AdoreMe. LiquidIV: Get 20% off your first order of Liquid I.V. when you go to https://LiquidIV.com and use code UNPLANNED at checkout. Acorns Early: Head to https://acornsearly.com/unplanned or download the Acorns app to get started. Beam: Try Beam’s best-selling Dream Powder and get up to 40% off for a limited time when you go to https://shopbeam.com/unplanned and use code UNPLANNED at checkout. AdoreMe: For bra and panty sets for as low as $19.95, head to https://AdoreMe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What challenges has Shauna Rae faced due to her condition?
I was in a very abusive relationship and it happens to like one in four women. Oh, it's fine.
No, it's not fine.
It's not fine. Nothing's fine about that. It's fine now for me. It's very easy to be prey in this world as a tiny little girl. My parents taught me that from a very young age. Any guy that's interested in you, you have to read into them because there's a chance that it's about your size.
How do you feel about not being able to have kids?
It's a little hard with TLC because they reopened it. Then after they found out how much it was going to cost, they could not do it unless I paid for it myself.
Today on Unplanned, we sat down with the 25-year-old star of the TLC show, I Am Shauna Rae. At just 3 feet and 10 inches tall, Shauna's life has been shaped by her battle with pediatric cancer, which left her with a rare condition called pituitary dwarfism. The condition significantly stunted her growth as a child, and now, as a woman, she faces discrimination.
We dive into her struggles with predators, infertility, keeping her boyfriend's identity private, and how she escaped an abusive relationship, all on today's episode. Shauna Rae, welcome to the Unplanned Podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I love how your Instagram bio is, I listened when my mama told me not to grow up. Whose idea was that?
Oh, it was mine. I think I was looking for a stupid bio when the show started because I wasn't on social media. I took a whole social media break. And then when the show came out and I was looking, I was like 19. I was like, what do I do? I'm short. And my mom was like, you listen to me. To Riley or something. Oh yeah, I listened.
And then I was just, I listened when my mama told me not to grow up. And I was like, mom, look at my thing. And she's like, I like it. I like it. I was like, I'm in it. She's like, I made it. I made it to the captions. She didn't know what it was. That's funny. I was like, my mom is not social savvy at all, but.
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Chapter 2: How has Shauna dealt with infertility struggles?
Yeah.
And then they're like, oh, okay. I'm going to go now. Like, yeah, that made you feel uncomfortable, didn't it? Because you were an a-hole about it. But when people are genuinely asking, they usually like walk on eggshells. They're like tiptoeing almost, actually physically. And then they're like, can I ask you a question? And I'm like, yeah. And they're like... So what happened?
Is there a reason you're short? Because you're obviously not a kid. If you watch me work or do anything or talk to me, you can evaluate. I feel like if you're smart enough or you have enough common sense, you can realize I'm not actually 8 or 10 or whatever. I mean, even kids can do it, so adults can do it. It's not that hard for them. It's just some brain power. Yeah.
Kids are honestly probably better at it because they like don't have- The judgments.
Yeah. Yes. Wait a second. Okay. So do kids treat you in a way that you like to be treated more so than adults do?
In a sense, they still want to color with me. They still want to play games with me.
Okay.
They think, like, I'm just a mature kid almost sometimes. And then there's sometimes, like, they're like, no, I'm older, but they just think I'm an older child.
Okay.
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Chapter 3: What was Shauna's experience escaping an abusive relationship?
they're emotionally or mentally handicapped and you know maybe they won't respond exactly like a mentally aged human that age, still treat them like that because treating someone as younger or less than is when we get those issues.
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A big conversation that comes up with me is grooming and predator. You know, pedophiles are a big topic with me, especially now that I'm dating.
How do you approach that?
It's very easy to be prey in this world as a tiny little girl. And my parents taught me that from a very young age. And they were like, look, any guy that's interested in you, any person that's interested in you, you have to read into them. Because there's a chance, even at a young age, like they could have a little tingle feeling. that it's about your size.
So I grew up knowing that and that was scary. I think there could have been a little more cushion in that because I was scared to date. I was scared to flirt with anyone. I was scared to even be asked out. When I was asked out on the cafeteria the first day, I was like,
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Chapter 4: Why does Shauna keep her boyfriend's identity private?
I wanted to ask you, how does that feel as the woman in that situation if any man that is romantically interested in you is being called that? How does that make you feel? It's...
upsetting as a person and the fact that I have to live my everyday life and constantly battle FBI watch list comments and stuff like that. But I don't look at it. I try not to look at it. I tell my current significant other to not look at it. I told Dan to not look at it, but he did. And I think at the end of the day, it's more sad because I'm just looking at the lack of education.
None of them on the internet want to listen. And it's just the fact that they haven't met me in person to understand that I am just a human being. I'm just short. Yeah, you're an adult. Yeah, I'm just a tiny person. There's women who are 3'8 out there that get the respect. And I'm like, but they maybe have more... boobs and butt and the hip area. And I'm like, I'm a skinny stick.
It's my body type. I'm sorry. Like, and it, it makes me more upset knowing that Tommy or a male person in my situation could go out there and be like, look at the model I'm dating. She's six, five. And everyone would be like, Yeah, you go. You get that, girl. Look at you. And then it's reversed for females.
I think for females in a disability, it's a little worse just because as a male, we always expect them to get... more and improve their lives. And as a female, we're only as good as our significant other or what we look like and what we can provide for our significant other more likely. I think people are looking at me and like, oh, she can't provide anything. She can't have kids.
What is she going to provide a dude? And I've had that question when it comes to dating. Oh, what is she going to do for you? She can't cook for you. She's not going to be a good wife. And I think that's where a little bit of it comes from is like that societal stereotype of they can't do as much as we can.
So why would someone in an abled body choose them versus another abled person who can provide them more of what society expects to be provided by a woman?
Have you had illegitimate, you know, scary situation with a pedophile before? Yeah. What happened?
So my uncle worked at a bar, and he always watched me. Always made sure. He knew. He knew bars were creepy. Yeah. And so he wasn't working, but my dad and some family members and I went in, and I went to the bathroom, and some guy followed. And it was just really uncomfortable for a second. Like, I just... Did he go in the bathroom?
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Chapter 5: How does Shauna handle public perceptions and discrimination?
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You do drink. I'm sure that's like very...
interesting atmosphere for other people like have you been questioned so many times i'm more questioned from the public than the people that check your ids and the bartenders and stuff you know i have a new york id it's hard to copy they put so many things on it everyone's like these new york ids i can't even scan them i gotta like type you into the system sometimes i'm like yeah i get that
I'm like, but that's fine for me because you pulling up the system, that means you can't deny it. And I mean, there's been situations where I was like at a restaurant bar and they kept checking my ID. Like it was like, everyone come check the disabled person's ID. It's like, you won't believe it.
But I've had more instances where I'm sitting at a table or I'm drinking and then you can hear people over. Is she old enough to have that? Susie, it's not your business. It's not your business. Drink your Shirley Temple and talk to Bill and have a great day. Leave me alone. So it's a lot of other people being invasive when they don't have the right to.
how how uh how old were you when you started drinking um i think we had like samples of things when i was younger there was a couple stories my mom says where i stole her mike's hard lemonade like straight out of chemo and was just down and then he was like they smell sweet they smell like a lemonade and she's like where's my fat toddler and i'm just running with a mike's and she's like oh my gosh shauna
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Chapter 6: What insights does Shauna provide about dating as a woman with dwarfism?
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And she was like, it's automatically. I'm not even going to talk about this situation. It's a C-section. You're too tiny. I was like, yeah, no, I don't want a break. And she's like, so we would do a C-section. You would be on watch. We would have someone come in and check on you if you're house sit or on bed rest.
And you would probably be on specific prescription prenatals because I can't take a one a day. without having an overdose of calcium or vitamin E or something. And I've spoken to that with them at Stony Brook. I've been on prescription vitamin D for a very long time because I couldn't take a one a day. I was just puking. Right.
And I'm like, I think I have an overdose from the symptoms, my doctor. And she's like, yeah, sounds like it. I'm going to just prescribe you the right amount for your body. And that's going to be the same situation for when I'm pregnant. I mean, I'm sure they would up it a little bit. Like, I've always been low on iron. So they'd probably give me a little boost of iron for the child. But...
Honestly, I've kind of just thrown it to the wind because if I do decide to have a family, it's going to be adoption or surrogacy or something because I value my life enough in a way, which is weird. I would probably get an abortion if it was going to put me at risk just because I don't want my child to grow up without a parent.
I think that's a bigger hole in someone's life than deciding to have a child at the right moment. I am pro-choice in that way because if I got pregnant myself, I'd probably have to get an abortion. There's a very high chance of it.
And you're saying because that would kill you? It could hurt me.
It could kill me during the birth. It could kill the child. And because I've always known there's a medical risk to me being pregnant, I've always been pro-choice with that because... There's a lot of unfortunate situations that can happen with anyone with pregnancy. And we have to evaluate her health and my health and the woman's health. And it takes a lot out of the body. And that can be scary.
And I feel like sometimes that's not worth the risk of bringing a child into this world when there's other children in this world that can be loved.
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Chapter 7: How has Shauna's upbringing influenced her views on safety and relationships?
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Yeah, I explain myself to my dog's vet. I explain myself to people at the grocery store. I explain myself to the gas station people. It's hard, but I mean, you have to look at it as like maybe that person's going to walk away differently and the next person that comes in, they'll be a little less harsh too and they'll be more respectful too.
Is it ever easier just to stay home?
Oh, yeah. Isn't it easier to stay home away from everything?
Yeah.
I feel like it's the best vibe. Just stay home. Don't have to deal with anything. But if we don't go out, then the world shuns us.
Do you find yourself wanting to stay home or do you go out because you want to make a difference?
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Chapter 8: What are Shauna's thoughts on societal expectations for women with disabilities?
Is he older than you?
He's two years older.
Okay.
Yeah, he's 27.
Gotcha. Yeah, obviously like you're keeping a lot of information about him private, which I totally respect and I can totally understand from how crazy it can be when you share all the intimate details of your life with the world. We've been there, but I know that you have experienced that on a completely different level than we have.
So I guess like what have you shared about him or what are you able to share about him? Because I'm genuinely curious who this person is.
Um, well, I mean, his name has been out there. His name is Trent. Um, he's the sweetest guy I've ever met. He's 27. He's got like those Midwestern morals. Um, and he just, he literally, he works in it, set up most of my gaming systems and got me started there. He's the reason I actually started it. And, um, He's really intelligent. He's really anti-social.
He's just... He's not as common sense smart, I will say. He's a little... I had to teach him girls are going to come on to him and flirt with him. I didn't know that happens. Yeah, you may be a nerd, but girls are still going to come on to you. He's such a cute little nerd. He's just the sweetest thing. I can scream... for something like we're out of toilet paper and he's running towards me.
If I drop something, he's running into the kitchen. He's like, I'm going to take you out of the kitchen because there's glass on the ground and I'm going to take care of this. I feel like if I was abandoned on the side of the street and I didn't know where I was, he would come and get me. And that's what I've always wanted. I've wanted someone that was going to give me that safety and
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