The Unsolicited Podcast

141. Tommy Slept Through Another One

28 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Scheduling this podcast is way harder than you think it is.

140. Making Dinner Plans for 15 Min

14 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The title doesn't lie. We talk about we're gonna do after the podcast for like the first third of this episode. #SorryNotSorry #BlessUp

139. Manifesting Starlight

07 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Kelly talks about manifesting. Jack's hungover. Tommy got pissed off by a twisted tooth stranger on the train.

138. We Address the Big Issues at Hand (The Oscars)

31 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Yeah, that's right. We went there.

137. Scamming Scammers with a Scary Phone Call

24 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Kelly tries scamming scammer and does that scammer CALL US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PODCAST??? Tune in to find out!

136. Kelly's Face Hurts and Tommy's Late (Over Zoom, Sorry)

17 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We had to do this over Zoom so the sound sucks. Sorry. Technology failed us.

135. 3 Year Anniversary!

10 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Wow, can't believe we made it this far.

134. Thinkin' About Ass Kickin' Shirts

03 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Great minds, people!

133. Off Our Meds and a Surprise "Celebrity" Guest

24 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We're talking over the Internet again. Something about antidepressants and third dates.

132. "Marry Me" and Jack's Wild Joshua Tree Story

17 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We reconnect after a crazy Super Bowl weekend.

131. Valentines Day Plans and Double Downed Beef

10 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Shorter ep 'cause Tommy showed up late and had a real estate investment class at 5:30pm.

130. Kelly Ate Bad Turkey And Tommy Doesn't Understand 14

03 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The gang has to speak over the Internet once again because Kelly ate bad turkey and Jack uploaded this late because he forgot.

129. We're back! And Tommy has some mad Luis disses

27 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Episodes 126-128 were pulled for a family emergency. Go to 51:00 for mad Luis disses.

124. The Poop Episode

11 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Jack ate bad Chipotle and now has food poisoning, but UH OH! He has a date tonight too! Does Jack almost poop his pants during the podcast? Tune in to...

123. The Real Wedding Recap

04 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's much crazier than predicted...

122. Banking for the Wedding Pt. 3

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We did it! We made it to 3! Tommy got married and everything's good! Halloween is comin up... oooooh spooookyyy...

121. Banking for the Wedding Pt. 2

21 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This one's the best of the series. We hit our flow. Tommy called some folks but claimed they called him.

120. Banking for the Wedding Pt. 1

14 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy's headed out of town again so he can FINALLY get this wedding over with. So we recorded 3 in a row. See how we mentally fall apart over the next...

119. No Headphones on a Couch Bed

07 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We're finally back from our 2 week break and don't have much to show for it.

118. Tucchus Problems and the VMAs

16 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Some spell tucchus with two "c's" and some spell tuchus with one. People can't agree. We don't discuss this in the ep. I just thought you'd want to kn...

117. Tommy Showed Up and Brought His Tiny Internet With Him

02 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy made it! We talk about how we can't get cancelled and more people are coming out of the woodwork supporting not being naked around your pets... ...

116. Tommy's Not Here

26 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We stalled as long as we could've, but alas, he never showed. Listen to our shitty improvised songs making fun of him for 30 minutes.

115. East Coastin' and Songs About the Hole in Your Butt

19 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy went to a Phish concert and made some friends. Kelly has a new name for buttholes. Jack's there.

114. Lost at a Phish Show with a Balloon Totin' Uncle Fucker

12 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This is a short one since Cap'n Tommy is back on the east coast with his tiny Internet.

113. Firey Joints and 90s Action Films Re-Imagined

05 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We stopped recording like 15 minutes ago and I've already forgotten what we talked about. Something about hurting joints and the antimitter, antmeter,...

112. Crinkled Emails and Oiled Butts

29 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy's back in the studio!

111. Call Me On Facebook

15 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's a good day for white guys, but a bad day for Internet connection. Probably our worst ep yet. Quality sure has dipped these last few, huh?

100. No Cell Service In The Ocean

08 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sorry for the rough intro. Tommy's tiny internet strikes again. And of course we pull another hang up prank on a listener

109. Opossum Attacks and Cold Calls

01 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy doesn't like this ep. Seemed fine to me.

108. Worst Episode Yet 'Cause of Tommy's Tiny Internet

24 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This one sucks, but we laugh a lot.

107. Jack and Kelly Are Maybe Invited to the Wedding

17 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.

106. The Ice Ball and the Soft Spots (feat. Kelly's Mom)

10 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This is a good 'un! 

105. Isaac the Plumber Returns!

03 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dats right. He back.

104. Small Mouths and Chubby Bunny

27 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Idk what happens in this, as usual. Enjoy.

103. Jack and Gavinski Played Basketball? Gimme a break...

20 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This is unbelievable!

102. Cute Buddy Banter

13 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I dunno. Tommy says "cute buddy banter" at some point and it makes us laugh. We probably call it back a few times.

101. Dioxipan, Primsipin, and Other Suppositories

06 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What did we talk about? Who the Hell knows. Something about the various drugs we take to get by and Tommy gets upset.

100. EPISODE 100 LIVE ZOOM!!!

29 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Holy crap you guys, we did it. We accomplished our live zoom with a bunch of you guys. Thank you to everyone who showed up, and for all of those that ...

99. It's The Final Countdown (to episode 100)

22 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Alright you degenerate fucks, we're coming up on episode 100. We'll post a link in the Unsolicited Group on Saturday the 24th for a 4pm PT start. If y...

98. Peepeepoopoopenis (with Milynn Mapalo)

15 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We have a very special guest in the studio this week, Kelly's future sister-in-law, Milynn! Plus, Tommy gets to speak to his bag piping nemesis, live ...

97. This Episode Sponsored by Mental Health

08 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Another mind blowing episode where multiple times the questions refer to something we've already talked about. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

96. 1-800-Mark-BYEEEEE

01 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy's back!!!!!!!!! We give Jack a new stage name and Kelly is tickled at a glorious call back... 

95. One, Two, Three Cat. ...............CAT

25 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's our last coast to coast podcast (for now). Slight technical difficulties, but you guys don't care. BECAUSE WHO CARES ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE?

94. Tommy and Jack's Blood Feud

11 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy cuts himself off, we learn how he pronounces a prehistoric bird's name and we sent another asshole to heaven. 

93. The Obituary Hour

04 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

**NEW SEGMENT ALERT!!!!** Now that I know you guys read this shit, there's a lot more pressure. Now I'm frozen. A-N-X-I-E-T-Y. Just listen, why dont...

92. Skinny Mirrors (with Forrest Shaw)

25 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sorry guys, we recorded this 2 days ago. I have no recollection of what happened. But no one reads this anyway, do they? 

91. A Visit From The Boss (with Jim Jefferies)

18 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Jim makes his debut to the degenerate fucks. Enjoy!

90. Jack's Food Reviews: The Musical

11 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We start out with the most boring 10 minutes ever (time machine tip: skip it! or don't. Maybe it's not so bad). Most importantly, we learn about a guy...

89. Obredon Needs His Egg Cream

04 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Another rousing edition of this or that: this week it's prescription drugs vs. elves from Lord of the Rings.  This game defeats Jack. 

88. The Ass Kickin' T-Shirt

28 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy "got his ass kicked" by an insurrectionist. Epic. 

87. Doctor Dentist Lawyer Cop

21 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Gonna be real honest, the title is the only thing I remember from this episode. It will have to ALL be a surprise. 

86. I've Got a Fever and The Only Presciption is More Controversy

14 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

OH YOU WANT CONTROVERSY? LISTEN HERE BUCKOS- WE GOT ALL THE CONTROVERSY YOU NEEEEEED. 

85. Ferris Wheel Reviews

07 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy got a fiance, Kelly got ghosts and Jack's got a new mission- try to shit out as many in tact fruity pebbles as possible.  @walkinwithtommy ...

84. I'm Not A Plumber, But... (with Isaac Heckert)

17 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Isaac Heckert joins us this week, but do not be confused- he is definitely NOT a plumber. He has a podcast that is doing a live Christmas Eve viewing ...

83. Porn is weird? (with Luis Castillo)

10 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luis joins us again from *bleep* podcast to talk about, I dunno, whatever--and porn! Also this was a hell of an episode to upload because the files di...

82. Fans Only

03 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

What would you do if you found out your mom had an OnlyFans account? Find out this week. 

81. Listen Up, Assface.

19 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

If Tommy falls off a boat, you think he'll be able to get himself back on by himself? Find out this week.

80. Let's Break It Down

12 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Jack asks Tommy to "BREAK IT DOWN" this week and Tommy needs to mask his gaping hole. 

79. Sorry, Mom

05 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

That's all. 

78. This Episode Is Shit

29 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

No, really, this episode felt like it was all about shit. How to shit, when to shit, who to shit with, or how to cleaning shit. Just absolute shit. Th...

77. Slitknoppers

22 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy came up with this episode's name. That's all you need to know. 

76. Goat Yoga

08 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The gang is back together in the same room and Jack sends Tommy sinking to the bottom of the ocean like a pile of bricks after Tommy calls him a weak ...

75. A Little Bit Late

03 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

All we need to say about this episode is: LAWYER COP THEME SONG!!!! For all your theme song/sting/jingle needs, email: [email protected]

74. Drinking Out Of Cups (with DJ Qualls)

24 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

DJ QUALLS IS BACK!!! And true to form, Kelly went to the bathroom and the boys couldn't figure out how shit works.  Rate, review, subscribe and ...

73. The Social Dilemma

17 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Jack and Kelly are IN STUDIO! Which means Kelly's sound quality finally doesn't suck anymore!!!! This one gets intellectual. Listen if ya wanna get le...

72. That One Scene From Monsters University, Sport

10 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We laughed a lot this week. JACK HAS A DATE! Kelly does a secret challenge with both of the guys, we decided if sex is a proper birthday gift and Tomm...

71. Taking a pue

03 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy still refuses to come home. Everyone make sure to go to his instagram and let him know he's needed back in LA. Couple of Urban D's for ya this w...

70. Still kinda nice

20 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

For all the degenerate fucks who survived last week's drinking game, welcome back! Sorry to blind Jon whose message wouldn't play. Ah, fuck. You're no...

69. Nice

13 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Nice.

68. Dr. Richard Fuchmiyass

06 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We MAY have gone a little overboard on the hillbilly accents this week. CARPE DIEM.  Follow us @theunsolicited3 @tommycaprio @jack_w_hackett @ke...

67. https://web.facebook.com/flx/warn/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fbit.ly%2F32TJgCF&h=1

30 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

You gotta listen to find out why the episode is titled that. DEMS DA RULEZ!! Follow us on social: @Jack_w_hackett @walkinwithtommy @kellyblackheart @t...

66. Purple Headed Yogurt Slingers

23 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We're back with NO TIME DELAYS! This episode welcomes 69 new sponsors and features one uppers, yogurt collectors and a nude cat sleeper. (That doesn't...

65. Catfishing a Catfisher

16 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

If there are any time or audio delay issues this week, just know I TRIED MY FREAKIN' BEST. Our worst run-ins with the cops, Tommy is stringing along a...

64. Would I Be The Asshole?

02 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Our first ever Would I Be The Asshole? And if Tommy's got anything to say about it, yes.  Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. AND TELL EV...

63. Organized Orgies?

25 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The mushrooms are kicking in so I don't know what to write here.  Kbyeeeee!

62. Reunited and it feels so...

18 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Weird!! It's so strange to see each other face to face. Last time before Tommy heads off to Joisey for the rest of the summer.  What will he do i...

61. The Revolution of 2020

11 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Our thoughts on everything from Black Lives Matter (Very PRO this!) to what does it mean to defund the police? Plus, of course some lighthearted Am I ...

60. SPACE JOKES!!!!!

28 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Is space travel going to become the new air travel? Is it petty to not share finances with your spouse? What's your favorite dad joke!? Tweet us @theu...

59. A Kinda Smart Episode

21 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Don't listen if you don't wanna be learned! Just kidding, there's only a LITTLE bit of smart stuff. Check in with the gang and see what the GOP really...

58. Men in Thongs?

14 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Should you have to wear pants in a Zoom meeting? Should men wear a thong to walk a day in a woman's....asscrack? And a whole new twist on Urban D. Als...

57. The Underwear Goblin & a...talking dog: man's best friends?

07 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We talk ideal mythical creatures, take a try at becoming Oreo's new marketing team and shove another round of Urban D in your ass.

56. Nascar Driver or Sheriff from Alabama? (with Jaclyn Marfuggi)

30 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Tommy's NOT depressed. His main squeeze joins us for a while to talk about deliberate farting in relationships. We also do a solid 10 minutes in bad s...

55. Mornin' Ass

16 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Another remote episode talkin' about morning ass vs. night ass, Oil Tycoons (?) and gaming in relationships.  Thanks to all our sponsors and sho...

54. A 7 Second Delay

09 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join along in our journey of confusion as we try to figure out if each of us are doing bits or if our audio is just off. We also talk pranks gone wron...

53. Topless Around the Family Dog?

02 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back-- some somber updates, a heated AITA discussion and some more Urban D for ya on another quarantine 'cast.  Thanks again to all our ...

52. The Quarantine Cast

26 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Hey heyyyyy, we're coming to you live from each of our living rooms because we are on super lockdown. How has the last 2 weeks gone? Well, it feels li...

51. The Tuesday Mornin' Dook

19 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Well it's very obvious that we had NO idea we'd eventually be quarantined when we recorded this episode. We were younger then, and full of plans.

50. A Real Highfalutin Episode

12 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week we take some more LIVE CALLS. Tommy makes up a couple band names, we talk news on the new JJ podcast and more! Thank you so much to all of ...

49. It's Our One Year Anniversary!!!

05 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

IT'S BEEN A YEAR! How?!?! Thanks for joining us on this stupid journey. We love all your participation and sharing laughs with you all. Listen to hear...

48. There's So Much Blood! A Vegas Recap and more

27 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Kelly didn't die! Well, yet. Jack and Kelly talk about their "trip" to Vegas and we answer our first live call on air! Also- just say no to snakes on ...

47. Guess Who? The Movie

13 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The gang gets together to pitch hit movie and TV ideas and talk shit about the routines of morning people. (BLEH)

46: 46. I Like Turtles

06 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Coming in hot from Kelly's dimly (NOT) lit apartment- are women funny? Aren't turtles amazing? And are you using your Alexas to the fullest?!

45: 45. A public apology to Popeye's

30 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Kelly sets the record straight on whether the Popeye's chicken sandwich is good enough to stab someone over and Tommy's main squeeze Jaclyn (@jaclynma...

44: 44. The Anti-Hitler

23 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This episode was recorded while Jack was still too excited about the sound board. So....

43: 43. The Grundle Gang (with Justin Martindale)

16 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Very famous comic Justin Martindale (@justinmartindale) joins the Unsolicited Crew to talk Oscar noms, fashion faux pas and ponder the meaning of a Te...

42: 42. Dr. Thomas Caprio

09 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This feels pretty self-explanatory. Tommy becomes a doctor.

41: 41. Merry Fuckin' Christmas

26 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

A special Christmas (or whatever other holiday you celebrate) episode. ENJOY!

40: 40. So Many Assholes in Heaven!

19 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

WARNING: If you don't want to hear Jack and Kelly laugh for 4 minutes straight, don't listen to this episode.

39: 39. Roofies, Indian-Style & Acid Flashbacks

12 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Honestly, I took too many edibles and can't really remember what this episode is about. Figure it out for yourselves.

38: 38. The Asshole Is The Power Source

05 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Heyooooo- this week we talk about the new trend of taint tanning. Show of hands (or hemorrhoids), who's in?