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The Upshot

Comedy Sports

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Loris Karius rejected from Berghain and Matt Le Tissier vs. the shapeshifting lizards

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join Zachary Sweeney-Lynch (https://twitter.com/zachary_sl) and Jack Rivlin (https://twitter.com/jackrivlin) for Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling...

John Daly: let’s party cocksucker

09 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

He was the big hitting, booze-swigging, chain-smoking bad boy of golf.The blazers tried to ban him, but John Daly was the people’s champion.From kni...

Extra Shot: Sven’s boozy breakfast and Brooklyn Beckham sacked again

04 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week. This week: Jesse Lingard’s nightmare in Seoul, u...

Kidnapped teammates and McMuffin melees: a Scottish football special

02 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

These days, the Premier League is filled with sinister billionaires and Gucci-clad stars doing Tik Tok dances with Salt Bae.But up in Scotland, footba...

Extra Shot: wonderkids in strip clubs and Arteta’s tribute to seedy saunas

28 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week. Club chairmen gobbing on fans, Luke Littler turns ...

Gary Neville: mini-retirements and mashed potato meltdowns

26 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Gary Neville is a seriously intense bloke.He bollocks innocent school boys, yells at potatoes, and humiliates his own brother in front of millions of ...

Extra Shot: when Courtois shagged De Bruyne’s girlfriend and Sean Dyche’s restaurant scrap

21 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week. Ainsley Harriott caught in a football riot, belove...

Brian Clough: feuds, fairytales and fookin’ cheats

19 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There aren’t many football managers who’d start a fight with Muhammad Ali.But Brian Clough isn’t most football managers.The acid-tongued genius ...

Extra shot: Messi hungry for blood and Jesse Lingard’s awful chat up lines

14 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week. Samuel Eto’s mafia revolution, Tyson Fury’s pl...

Faustino Asprilla: Colombia’s finest export

12 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Faustino Asprilla once summed up his philosophy: "lots of sex, no rules and pure life.”The Newcastle cult hero boozed on the team bus, brought a gun...

Extra shot: Jadon Sancho’s playstation addiction and cocaine smuggler Quincy Promes back in cuffs

07 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week. More F1 toilet antics, Pep insults Foden, and a mo...

John Terry: Captain, Leader, Bellend

05 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

John Terry is a proper wrong'un.The ex-Chelsea captain punches paps, pisses in pint glasses, and shags on motorway hard shoulders.This is the story of...

Surprise Shot: the Christian Horner WhatsApp leak

01 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As Christian Horner’s WhatsApp message leak online, Jack brings you a surprise mini-edition on the gory details of a saga they're calling Google Dri...

Extra shot: Mourinho’s undercover nemesis and George Best’s Bond Girl bust-up

29 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Jurgen Klopp’s trousers cost him a job, the espionage ...

F1: the stories Drive to Survive won't tell you

27 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

These days F1 drivers have all the personality of a gently steamed leek.But they weren't always so dull. From shootouts with drug lords to “int...

Extra shot: Premier League weed farms and a Tinder date gone wrong

22 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.This week: A Premier League weed farm, Erling Haaland’...

Jesé Rodriguez: a wonderkid gone wild

20 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You might remember Jese Rodriguez as a misfiring Stoke striker with a penchant for godawful nightclubs.But his off-field antics are worthy of a soap o...

Extra shot: Heung-Min Son’s hotel scrap and an FA Cup love triangle

15 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.This week: Son’s ping pong ding dong, Fergie’s spout...

Touré of booty: Kolo and Yaya’s outrageous adventures

13 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Ivorian brothers hoovered up silverware, shagged in car parks and led secret double lives.From cursing managers to comparing knobs, this is the st...

Extra Shot: Beckham hounded out of Hong Kong and Christian Horner’s ‘inappropriate pic’

08 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.This week: Beckham and Messi face the rabid mob in Hong ...

Hitmen, uzis and nautical gangbangs: the NFL’s biggest wrong’uns

06 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Firing Uzis at snowball fights. Begging cops for blowjobs. Smoking crack on game day.The NFL is filled with some absolute mad dawwwwgs.As the Super Bo...

Extra Shot: Rashford’s miserable bender and pornstars crash Mahrez’s Eid party

01 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.This week: Rashford’s awful Belfast bender, Riyad Mahr...

Harry Redknapp: he’s not a fackin’ wheeler dealer

30 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

They don't make 'em like Harry Redknapp any more.The West Ham gaffer struck deals like Del Boy, bollocked players on live TV, and sent fans on as subs...

Extra Shot: defenders snogging dogs and Pele's secret lovechild

25 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.This week: Claire Foden's in cuffs, Pele’s secret love...

Graham Stack: Arsenal’s unruly Invincible

23 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There was one player in Arsène Wenger’s Invincibles squad who couldn't be tamed.He punched fans, crashed the team bus and flogged fake Gucci to Thi...

Extra Shot: commentators on coke and Ronnie O’Sullivan’s filthy habit

18 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.This week: The frat boy who took down Ajax, Wesley Fofan...

Mario Balotelli: the Italian Nutjob

16 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Mario Balotelli was the Premier League’s most notorious nutcase.From lobbing darts at teammates to burning his own house down, the striker wreaks ha...

Extra Shot: porn star keepers and that Sadio Mane rumour

11 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to Extra Shot, our new Thursday show where we discuss the funniest stories in sport this week.On the pod this week: footballers dragged into t...

Crack pipes and grave robbing: snooker’s golden age

09 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

These days, snooker crowds are full of dozing pensioners nibbling corned beef sandwiches.But the sport was once a hotbed of booze, crack pipes and sha...

Diego Maradona and Napoli: mafia pacts and benders at the Vatican

03 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Diego Maradona and Napoli: it was football's wildest romance.A head-spinning cocktail of devotion, chaos and glory - plus enough drugs to kill a horse...

Unhinged ultras and car chases: the wildest stories of 2023

27 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Cocaine-fuelled car chases. Ultras invading orgies. And Kyle Walker waving his willy around a Manchester bar.It’s been a wild year in the world of s...

Steve Bruce: The No.1 Geordies’ Detective Agency

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

He fights gangs, pens murder mysteries and once served a stint in the slammer.Steve Bruce is not who you think he is.From con tricks to cabbage crimes...

Joey Barton: This Charmless Man

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Joey Barton is fucking mental.He punches children, quotes Nietzsche, and once sunk his teeth into his own club captain. And that’s just the tame stu...

Crazy Gang: how to win cups and traumatise people

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It was football’s wildest fairytale: in ten years ramshackle Wimbledon went from non-league to the top flight and FA Cup glory.But that’s only hal...

Galácticos: Real Madrid’s sesh-head superstars

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The year is 1999 - Real Madrid are at war.Legendary striker Raul brands the dressing room “a cesspit of lies, treachery and whispers”.Something ha...

Erling Haaland: I eat the heart and liver (with Lars Sivertsen)

22 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Erling Haaland isn’t like other humans.He gorges on chicken livers, raps about world peace, and wakes up to the Champions League anthem. Every day.A...

Ian Botham: weed, wickets and waitresses (with Dom Joly)

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Trigger Happy TV creator Dom Joly joins us to discuss a tabloid sensation who smoked weed, punched coppers and made magic on the pitch.From drug scand...

Roy Keane: shove it up your bollocks

08 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone knows Roy Keane is a mad bastard.The United legend humiliated teammates, knocked out opponents and scrapped with his own manager.But there’...

Adrian Mutu: all the gear but no idea

01 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You might remember Adrian Mutu as a promising Chelsea striker with a taste for cocaine.But Class As weren’t his only vice.From high speed car chases...

Serie A stalkers and rugby-playing cannibals: a Halloween special

25 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Rugby playing cannibals. Stalkers in Serie A. Ghostly visitations from the late George Best.As Halloween draws near, we’ve braved the haunted crypts...

David Beckham: the stories Netflix won’t tell you

18 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With his good looks, magic right boot and penchant for queueing, David Beckham is a national treasure.But you didn’t tune in to hear about all that,...

Sacre Bleu! French football’s strange and sordid decade

11 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Masked hitmen. Sex tape blackmail. Organ harvesting allegations.It’s been an incredibly weird, sexually charged, and occasionally glorious decade fo...

Mike Ashley: Sports Direct’s biggest mug

04 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Mike Ashley's Newcastle reign was a disaster for fans, and behind the scenes it was booze-soaked chaos. The giant mug magnate enjoyed 14 years of dru...

Tiger Woods: Get in the hole!

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Drug-fuelled car crashes. 121 mistresses. Shagging the next door neighbour's daughter.No one does scandals like Tiger Woods.But if you think you know ...

Neil Warnock: he’d fookin’ die for you lot

20 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

They don't make managers like Neil Warnock anymore. He gave team talks naked, cut his players' toe nails and picked the team based on his wife's drea...

Wayne Rooney: the gran, the myth, the legend

12 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When Wayne Rooney burst onto the scene in 2002, there was only one nagging doubt.Would he have the sordid private life to match his undeniable footbal...

Rugby’s biggest reprobates: drink, drugs and “disgusting forfeits”

06 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you like to think rugby is a civilised sport played by gentlemen, stop reading now. From dealing drugs to defecating on dancefloors, the sport is ...

Mauro and Wanda Icardi: football’s wildest romance

30 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

From human trafficking charges to arson, Mauro Icardi's love life has thrown up some ludicrous drama. The former PSG striker and his wife Wanda are t...

Michael Owen: England's weirdo wonderkid

23 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

For a bloke who won the Ballon d'Or and lit up the World Cup, Michael Owen's life is comically dull. The England legend has never tasted tea or coffe...

Ronaldinho: Parties, prison and polygamy

16 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In the mid 2000s Ronaldinho was the king of football... and an absolute shagger. But the madcap world of the buck-toothed genius was about to come cr...

Biggest wrong'uns of the 2023/24 Premier League season

09 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League doesn’t just specialise in high quality football and obscene sums of cash - it does a lovely side business in scandals too.Ahead ...

Shane Warne: Spin, sex and suspicious partners

02 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Shane Warne wasn't like other sportsmen. A sex-mad cricketing genius, he once summed up his life: "I smoked, I drank, and I bowled a bit of leg spin....

Nicklas Bendtner: Boob job blackmail and bedding Baronesses

26 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You might remember Nicklas Bendtner as a misfiring Arsenal striker with godawful tattoos. But what he lacked in goals, he made up for in scintillatin...

Chelsea’s season from hell: Blunders, bust-ups and Boehly

19 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When Roman Abramovich sold Chelsea, the fans feared the worst. And it turns out they were right! Todd Boehly's first season in charge has been an abs...

The scandalous saga of Jermaine Pennant

12 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ankle tags. Threesomes with Ashley Cole. Cat murder cover-ups. No one embodied noughties football excess like Jermaine Pennant.Jack and Zach from The ...

This is The Upshot podcast

04 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to The Upshot podcast. Each week, we'll pull back the curtain on your favourite sports and dives into all the stuff BBC and Sky wouldn’t tou...

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