I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this fictional comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from the pasta jar of filth that stores the thoughts, dreams and fuck ups of my fans as they try to salvage their lives from their overblown emotions that went terribly out of control and left them with nothing more than guilt, shame, and blood on their hands. Still, I love each and every one of you, seeing as I empathize with the lost and the losing and because I am perched in limbo until the end of time as your favourite Vigilante Cannibal Nun Agony Aunt. And after that garbled mess of an introduction, there is nothing left for me to do but to welcome you to the show. Welcome to Episode 22: Ballyhalbert & Monstrous Attitude.Our first letter today is from Bridy from Ballyhalbert, the most boring town in Northern Ireland where I read on REDDIT from someone called Dinosaur in a Party Hat that for every housebound, elderly, human resident there are 10 rats, and this is circa 1950, so they also had the zombie budgies on the loose, remember? Well, Bridy has no question, she just needs an outlet and says that her and her husband can’t talk about sex, let alone have any, and here is what they do instead. And on she goes.And the second letter is from Terry from Alice Springs circa 1970 who asks, "How do I discipline a 16-year-old son with a monstrous attitude? And just as an aside, I have a very good meat grinder in the garage."REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comST VALENTINE’S DAY MASSACRE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Valentine%27s_Day_MassacreFANNYSTOWN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_townlands_of_County_WexfordHIP-HOP - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hip-hopPARASITE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ParasitismTOMMY COOPER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_CooperBALLYHALBERT - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BallyhalbertREDDIT - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RedditALICE SPRINGS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_SpringsPROFESSIONAL MOURNER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_mourning

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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