The Wittering Whitehalls
Episodes
A DL Meetup, Opening Post & RUBIES!
23 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
What is the traditional gift for a 40th wedding anniversary? If you didn't already know, this episode will tell you in no uncertain terms: It's RUBIES...
LIFE LESSONS: "Say it with a smile."
19 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Because The Wittering Whitehalls has been trucking on for so long, there are lots of well-established traditions that we all love. This week, it's one...
The Brits, Emus & Lumpy Downloads
16 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Mrs Whitehall made the MOST of the Brits the other week... Sadly, Mr Whitehall had other plans which involved staying at home and most definitely, not...
LIFE LESSONS: "Need to be productive? Get in the bath."
12 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Do you have a bath? Could you gain access to a bath if not? Mrs Whitehall says that if you need a to have a good think, you can't beat a nice hot soak...
Goody Two Shoes, Stubbornness & Favourite Weird Smells
09 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
It's a packed one this week, DL's. The mail bag at Whitehall Towers was brimming with thoughts, feelings and stories, from class clowning, to an older...
LIFE LESSONS: "Give them the WRONG time..."
05 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Do you deal with persistent latecomers? Mrs Whitehall has PLENTY of experience in this area with a certain someone who you might have heard of...You c...
Upgrades, Inheritance & Bearing A Grudge
02 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Another week and another surfeit of emails, with a surprise guest out of the blue! How might you get an upgrade on a flight, do you hold any grudges a...
LIFE LESSONS: "Keep a spare key... Somewhere..."
26 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This week, DL Joel has a right old tale to tell! What a situation he found himself in!!You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to TheWitter...
Pyjamas In Public, Spring Break & Housework Dancing
23 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
All DL's are going to have ideas about what makes a 'classic' WW's episode, but surely any time Mr Whitehall is bursting into song (more than once) ha...
LIFE LESSONS: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
19 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
We've all heard Mrs Whitehall's tips on keeping this and that in the fridge to use again... A smidge of this and a dollop of that... Well, this week's...
Introducing: Up To Speed
17 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Wittering Whitehall listeners, if you love gossip, scandal and rivalries - we’ve got a podcast we think you’ll love!Step inside sport’s greatest...
Fasting, Fixing & Superstition
16 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever sit and watch or listen to The Wittering Whitehalls, thinking "I wonder what, exactly, Mr Whitehall is reading at the moment." Has that ev...
LIFE LESSONS: “Break it down into manageable chunks.”
12 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Every DL email (or WhatsApp!) that comes into the inbox is a treat and keeps the Whitehalls wittering, but sometimes a DL goes over and above with det...
Bulldozing, Transparent Facilities & Red Trousers
09 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
You surely know them... The red trouser brigade? Maybe you're one of them! This week, a DL needs help with their presumptuous brother and the Whitehal...
LIFE LESSONS: "Don't start too early..."
05 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
As we go through life, we're sometimes compelled to get shot of everything and start again... This week, a DL has questions about her Mother, who seem...
Words of The Year, Madeira Mystery & Replaced by The Dog
02 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Hopefully the wait wasn't too long... The Wittering Whitehalls are back on the airwaves and it's time to hit the ground running in 2026. A quick look ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Don't set yourself up to fail."
08 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Having kept you company throughout the Christmas and New Year break, (if you got one, that is) Mr & Mrs Whitehall see out series 10 with some trad...
Grumpy Moments, Snipey Comments & Big Sit Down Chats
05 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
2025 was a big year in the land of The Wittering Whitehalls... A tour? Done and dusted? 10 series?!! You'd better believe it. They'll keep coming too,...
Introducing Unlikely Friends - Unlikely Friends
01 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a mini Spice Girls reunion on Unlikely Friends this week as Emma Bunton is joined by the incredible Mel C — and Sporty Spice comes prepared w...
LIFE LESSONS: "If in doubt, say nowt..."
01 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM WHITEHALL TOWERS! Wishing you a prosperous, healthy and fulfilling 2026 and thank you for being a DL! For the first episode of the...
Nodes, Thrift & More Nodes
29 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week is, somehow, all about nodes... You'll find out why. In the post-Christmas but pre-new-year fog, Mr & Mrs Whitehall convene to shine a l...
Happy Christmas from Whitehall Towers!
25 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What a treat! A Christmas Day special from Mr & Mrs Whitehall, straight from Whitehall Towers, to wherever you find yourself. Whatever you're doin...
Gliding, Skating & Christmassy Carpe Diem
22 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Despite it being strongly against Mr Whitehall's wishes, this is a quite Christmas-heavy episode. 'Tis the season after all. Get ready for tinsel, min...
LIFE LESSONS: "Never trust a bannister."
18 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a DL shares plans for their 30th birthday party, to gauge whether it'll be a hit or not... The bottom line? Do what you want! It's your bir...
BARELY ALIVE IN SALFORD: "I s*x your body now?"
15 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In the final date of The Wittering Whitehalls: Barely Alive 2025 tour, Michael & Hilary played to a sold out crowd at Salford's Quays Theatre. It ...
LIFE LESSONS: "We don't want AI art."
11 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There's no doubting it... AI is here and it's only going to get bigger, in all of our lives. But what about the AI art scene? Is it a danger to real a...
Chicken Parmo, Gen Z & A Hospital Mixup
08 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Back on the road, for the last couple of this particular tour - The Wittering Whitehalls found themselves in Stockton-on-Tees for a wonderful audience...
LIFE LESSONS: "Elf on the Shelf? Try this..."
04 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week's email comes from a DL who sounds less than enthusiastic about the magic of Elf-on-the-shelf... Naturally, Mr Whitehall agrees completely, ...
Video Meetings, Honours & Trends
01 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You might think Mr Whitehall is a man immune to following a trend... You'd be wrong! Plus, a strange online habit from a DL's boss and whether or not ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Go heavy on your condiments."
27 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Mrs Whitehall is full of life lessons this week, to make up for the weeks where she's concerned she didn't explicitly deliver any. No danger of that h...
BARELY ALIVE IN CREWE! "Absolute RUBBISH!"
24 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
As Mrs Whitehall is so keen to tell you, Crewe is a MAJOR junction in terms of rail travel in the UK... But they weren't just passing through. Mr &...
LIFE LESSONS: "There's CCTV everywhere..."
20 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Whilst the subject of this weeks email isn't at all funny, there was at least a bit of light in the darkness of it all. Flashers are apparently still ...
BARELY ALIVE IN BRADFORD: "HOW MUCH!?"
17 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In the second visit to Yorkshire on this tour, Mr & Mrs Whitehall got right into this Saturday night show, with a fantastic crowd. Expect unfortun...
LIFE LESSONS: "Prolific is prolific."
13 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's not the first time Mr & Mrs Whitehall have been asked for podcast recommendations, but there are so many these days - it's tough to keep up! ...
BARELY ALIVE IN BIRMINGHAM! "Extra large and extra hard..."
10 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In the first of three nights of live shows on the bounce, Mr & Mrs Whitehall stopped off in bustling Birmingham for a rip-roaring evening. Expect ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Take the stairs."
06 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Whitehalls returned from the Richmond Theatre, just down the road to Whitehall Towers; the shortest journey home yet! For this life lesson, a DL w...
BARELY ALIVE IN RICHMOND! "I think I'm in there..."
03 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On to Richmond and what a fantastic audience they were... The Whitehalls met Charlie and glossed over whether or not he was old enough to be at the sh...
LIFE LESSONS: "Play to your audience."
30 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
As the dust settles on another wonderful tour show, Mr & Mrs Whitehall are back at Whitehall Towers to consider a life lesson... All brought on by...
BARELY ALIVE IN GUILDFORD! "It's always AMERICANS."
27 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The tour carried on without pause this week, to the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre in Guildford! Listen out for the moment Mr Whitehall commits fully to throwi...
LIFE LESSONS: "Sir will do."
23 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
After the DL's had left the auditorium and the long journey from York back to Whitehall Towers was complete, it was time to fire up the microphones on...
BARELY ALIVE IN YORK! "We've finally done it!"
20 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's ALIVE! Finally, after years of saying it would happen, here are The Wittering Whitehalls LIVE in a theatre, in front of a real audience!! Recorde...
LIFE LESSONS: "If you're flying solo, don't wear the onesie."
16 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Mr Whitehall's back is still bothering him, but it's not getting in the way of this weeks 'light' helping. A DL asks this week whether he was aware of...
Standing, Roaring & Discussions At The Dinner Table
13 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Mr Whitehall is not at his physical best this week, following a mild back injury... That doesn't stop him from exercising his theatrical skills, thoug...
LIFE LESSONS: "It's not the 1950's any more."
09 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
An email from a DL all the way from Newfoundland this week! But should she come out of semi-retirement to do a fun job that gives her a break from hou...
Cybertrucks, WFH & The "Cotswolds"
06 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Where are the Cotswolds? Well, Mr Whitehall has a pretty good idea of where ISN'T the Cotswolds... More on that later. Plus, the Cybertruck, more init...
LIFE LESSONS: "Let them make their own mistakes!"
02 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's not easy dealing with kids, at ANY age and the Whitehalls know that plenty well enough. This week, a DL seeks advice over their son and his girlf...
The Annexe, Tired Winston & Spirit Animals Revisited
29 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Whitehalls are back to accompany you into the Autumn and there's no hanging about... This week, Mr Whitehall takes a very scientific, very in-dept...
LIFE LESSONS: "Emojis might not mean what you think..."
04 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's time to test the emoji knowledge of two octogenarian men... Roll up, roll up! Mrs Whitehall, inspired by a curious DL, is going to quiz Michael a...
Victoria Wood, Sitcoms & ASMR (with special guest Neil Stacy!)
01 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What an absolute TREAT! We've all heard plenty from Uncle Neil over the years on The Wittering Whitehalls, but here he is for a FULL EPISODE! Hear all...
LIFE LESSONS: "Couples who cook together... Are more than welcome to do so!"
28 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This weeks email comes from a DL who's trying to reach a conclusion, but are they way off the mark? Plus... dog vomit, chives and delicious ice cream!...
Dire Straits, Vans & A Platypus
25 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
So, what happened to Churchill's platypus, gifted to him during the war, by the people of Australia? The mystery is solved! Plus, Mrs Whitehall behind...
LIFE LESSONS: "How to get guests to leave when the night's over!"
21 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's awkward, isn't it? You've yawned, you've cleared the plates, but the guests still aren't leaving. How would Mr & Mrs Whitehall deal with some...
The Spitfire, Shaving & Changing Your Mind
18 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
250 episodes and still going strong! So, how to celebrate? Sequins of course... And a sartorial nod to Winston Churchill. Naturally.There's not a DL i...
LIFE LESSONS: "Try new things. Face your fears!"
14 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This weeks life lesson is for DL Helen who is off on a cruise... But she's suddenly become nervous about the idea! Don't worry, Helen. You'll be fine!...
Old Gits Road Trip, Neighbourly Apologies & Councillor Ollie
11 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Whitehalls have been all over the place this week. The West Country has been well and truly explored and they've got the souvenirs to prove it. Pl...
LIFE LESSONS: "Don't leave your keys near the front door..."
07 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What is a bowl if it's got a lid? Is it still a bowl? Just one of the ideas to be discussed on this very episode. The focus this week is home security...
DAMs, Thames Swimming & The Wittering Whitehalls, The Musical!
04 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Could we ever, in this lifetime, see a musical incarnation of The Wittering Whitehalls? A DL asks exactly that question. Plus, is there an answer to t...
LIFE LESSONS: "Waste not, want not."
31 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The DL's are nothing if not resourceful. This week, a DL shares an invention called 'dust of the garden'. What on earth can it be?JOIN THE WITTERING W...
Pogs, OnlyFans & ***** Lane
28 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever enjoyed even a moment of the funny place names, a DL comes through with possibly the biggest hitter yet. See what you think. Plus, reme...
LIFE LESSONS: "There's always another restaurant..."
24 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Just a friendly piece of advice not to listen to this episode whilst you're eating! DL Phillippa has a horror story from a restaurant in Rome which ha...
Sliding Doors, Elvis Presley & Spotted In The Wild
21 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you checked out the FULL VIDEO EPISODES of The Wittering Whitehalls yet? Why not!? Go and have a look on Global Player & YouTube! So... A hug...
LIFE LESSONS: "You can't be good at everything."
17 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When the DL's have a cracking story to tell, The Wittering Whitehalls are all ears. This week, "Mrs Chips" (it's possible this is a pseudonym!) has a ...
Keepsakes, Wading In & Churchill Books
14 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
DL Kody describes some previous advice from Mrs Whitehall as "wading in, handbag first" in this episode. What a delightful turn of phrase! Plus, a lov...
LIFE LESSONS: "Violence is not the answer."
10 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No violence, please. We're all better than that. This week, a DL posits a theory that Mr Whitehall might be all together more gentle than the image he...
Indecisiveness, Country Life & Sashaying...
07 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Well, if that title doesn't cover everything you need it to, frankly, what have we become? The Whitehalls are on hand this week to help a DL who is bu...
LIFE LESSONS: Never give up!
03 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Mr & Mrs Whitehall had a wedding to go to this week, so how did they get that wrong? Suffice to say that they did! Plus, an update from DL Claire ...
Theft, Water Leaks & The Sewing Machine Museum (revisited)
30 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know where your stop cock is? Behave yourself. This week, a tale of house ownership and the nightmares that can come in tow. Plus, Sewing Machi...
LIFE LESSONS: "No games at the table, thank you."
26 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you're throwing a dinner party, you're more than welcome to entertain your guests however you like, but if Mr & Mrs Whitehall are in attendance...
Vengeance, Nail-Biting & Toby Jugs
23 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are you familiar with Toby Jugs? You will be after this weeks instalment of The Wittering Whitehalls! Plus, getting revenge on your partner (is it eve...
LIFE LESSONS: "Let sleeping dogs lie..."
19 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We all love a good tale of romance and especially one that was almost lost to the mists of time... That's exactly what DL Cristoph has this week! JOIN...
Pulling Out The Stops, Alleviating Tantrums & Cooking Rabbits
16 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This weeks episode gets quite rude in parts, but sometimes it's exactly what's required! There's an update from last years organ-playing DL, a very ch...
LIFE LESSONS: "You can't improve the future, without disturbing the present."
12 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There's a lovely voice note from Jacqui this week, sharing the wisdom of her lovely Grandmother. Plus, what was all the drama on Mrs Whitehall's birth...
Dr. Who, Childhood Memories & Shooting Your Bolt Early
09 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you got your tickets for the very exciting Wittering Whitehalls Barely (A)Live tour yet?? What are you waiting for?! Meanwhile, back on the podca...
LIFE LESSONS: "You CAN have too many paintings."
05 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to collections, we all know Mr Whitehall is right up there... But is there a system? Does he consult Mrs Whitehall before making an addi...
Restaurant Etiquette, Old English & Sodington Hall
02 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hands up if you've been missing Uncle Neil?? He's back today! Quite out of nowhere, with a sudden need for an explainer on old English, The Wittering ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Run your own race!"
29 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You can spend your life trying to change those around you, but sometimes it's ok not to bother... So says Mrs Whitehall! JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS...
Pigeons, Swiss Rolls & A Grumpy Patient
26 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Can you believe it!? Nearly 3 years since it all began; Mr & Mrs Whitehall are back for SERIES 9!!!! There's an awful lot to catch up on, in terms...
LIFE LESSONS: "Join the local cricket team..."
01 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Perhaps it's not a 'life lesson' as such, but it's a very specific query on this weeks bonus episode and it marks the final instalment of the series! ...
Teaching, Stripping & Accepting Help (with special guest Laura Smyth!)
28 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We love a guest at Whitehall Towers and for the finale of Series 8, Hilary & Michael welcome comedian, writer and all round excellent human being,...
LIFE LESSONS: "Try a bread maker!"
24 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This weeks DL is living with a man who, like so many, has decided that enough is enough with ultra-processed food and that he must start making his ow...
Derrick Destruction, Wrong Speed & Bowls
21 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are you listening to The Wittering Whitehalls at the correct speed? It might be worth a check. Plus, the sadness (or indifference) related to throwing...
LIFE LESSONS: "Crime doesn't pay..."
17 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Whilst this weeks lesson isn't completely black and white, it's important to do the right thing. When a DL asks the question "have you ever stolen som...
Birthday Arrest, Renovations & Water-Ma-Trout
14 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Apparently, a 104 year old woman was recently arrested for her birthday, because that's what she wanted... Perhaps Mr Whitehall would like to celebrat...
LIFE LESSONS: "You can't control nature."
10 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Every now and again, a DL writes in with a corker of a story. This is one of those occasions. Strap in DL's... It's time for #BeaverGateYou can email ...
Safari, Java & A Swiss Army Knife
07 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There are DL's LITERALLY all over the world. This week, we're introduced to a 19 year old DL, doing his National Service in the Swiss Army! Plus, why ...
LIFE LESSONS: "There's nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree."
03 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have a quick guess... Where are the Whitehalls this time?? It's Dubai! It's time to dish out some advice to some young, travelling DL's about how to m...
UFO's, The Shoey & Beans Off Toast
31 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
At this point, the tour nears it's end and Mr Whitehall is quite ready to go home, but that does not mean the podcast stops... No, sir. The Whatsapp m...
LIFE LESSONS: "Try the shower!"
27 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Nobody likes ironing. Surely this much, we can agree on? Luckily, Mrs Whitehall is on hand to tell you what you can do instead. Meanwhile, Mr Whitehal...
Corpse Flower, Havers Revisited & Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu
24 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
That's definitely the longest title ever, for a Wittering Whitehalls episode... Find out what it means within! Plus, a namesake spider, a footless sea...
LIFE LESSONS: "Write it down."
20 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a lovely DL sparks a conversation about keeping a diary to remember what you've been up to. You can email your questions, thoughts or probl...
Possums, The Rider & Final Thoughts (with special guest Jack Whitehall!)
17 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You'll even hear Mrs Whitehall say this at the beginning, but this was originally supposed to be a 10 minute 'Tour Diary' entry to slot in somewhere, ...
LIFE LESSONS: "You never know who you might bump into..."
13 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The DL's always deliver, but this week, one particular DL has knocked it out of the park. Ladies and Gentlemen... Mr Chris Willey.You can email your q...
AI Podcasting, Cold Water & Caravans
10 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
With the way technology is going, it might be possible for The Wittering Whitehalls to continue forever, regardless of whether Mr & Mrs Whitehall ...
LIFE LESSONS: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
06 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's a very old adage, this one, but how will Mrs Whitehall expertly apply it? It all starts with an email from a DL who found something amazing in Th...
Marmalade, P.G. Wodehouse & Vasectomies
03 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Whitehall travelling circus trucks onwards and you find Michael & Hilary in New Zealand this week. Regardless of location, there's much to dis...
LIFE LESSONS: "It's all about perception."
27 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You're never too old to learn something, that's for sure. This week, the Whitehalls learn something about coded messaging and what people might be com...
Impulsivity, Inner Monologues & The Mercator Projection
24 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There is so, so much to take in this week. Hands up if you already know what The Mercator projection is? Plus, more control panel misery for Mr Whiteh...
LIFE LESSONS: "Try everything once."
20 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Still in their Sydney hotel room, the Whitehalls are challenged to try something they've never tried before, but can Mr Whitehall be persuaded??You ca...
Churchill's Mower, Afternoon Tea & Moving Back Home
17 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Wittering Whitehalls are officially, 100% international! Thousands of miles from Whitehall Towers, from a hotel in Sydney, Australia - Michael &am...
LIFE LESSONS: "Speak to Citizens Advice!"
13 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you got a landlord problem? Perhaps The Wittering Whitehalls can help... Or not, as it turns out. However, Mrs Whitehall reckons there are things...