The Wittering Whitehalls
Episodes
An Engagement Ring, A Songwriter & An Exploitative Neighbour
10 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We all hate losing things. As you scramble around, hoping against hope that the next thing you see will be the thing you're looking for.... This weeks...
LIFE LESSONS: "If you're giving advice, be nice."
06 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Mr Whitehall is still battling a malady, but Mrs Whitehall is back in the business of handing out sage advice. What to do if you're criticised by an o...
Nursing, Copycats & Guitar Lessons
03 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Mr Whitehall dragged himself from his sick bed this week, all in the name of fulfilling his duty to you, the wonderful DL's. On the slate for discussi...
LIFE LESSONS: "Give it the beans..."
30 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are you a fussy eater? Do you know, or deal with a fussy eater? Mrs Whitehall does! What can be done with those who just won't give new things a try a...
Solo Activity, Nosing About & The Other Jack
27 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Whilst it might be confusing to hear Mr & Mrs Whitehall in their Putney home one moment and half way across the world the next, it is well worth i...
LIFE LESSONS: "Press the microphone button!"
23 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A mystery has been solved in the world of The Wittering Whitehalls... It turns out that what first appeared to be mischief was, in fact, a simple misu...
The Local Council, After-Show Rituals & Tour Diaries!
20 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
They're back and they're, frankly... All over the place! Recorded just before they hopped on a plane to Singapore, we start in Whitehall Towers for th...
LIFE LESSONS: "Be true to yourself."
26 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Come and join Michael & Hilary for a Boxing Day life lesson, born out of a legendary nativity performance from DL Wendy's son... You can email you...
Stockings, Cards & Christmas Movies (with special guests Jordan North & William Hanson!)
23 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's a great big Christmas special mash up in the podcast universe this week, as Jordan & William from Help I Sexted My Boss join Mr & Mrs Whi...
LIFE LESSONS: "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story."
19 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We can all agree that the stories you hear on The Wittering Whitehalls are very interesting and thoroughly amusing, but are they consistent? Luckily, ...
George Martin, Christmas In The Garage & Poached Turkey
16 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What would happen if for whatever reason, Mrs Whitehall was unable to produce the wonderful Christmas lunch that she has done so many times before? Wh...
LIFE LESSONS: "There's not an awful lot you can do about moths."
12 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
So, what can you do if you've got a moth problem? Well.... Not much, but also not nothing. As always, Mrs Whitehall is here with some pearls of wisdom...
New York, Tasmania & Yawping Cats
09 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The team at Whitehall Towers are fairly certain that this week sees the very first use of the word "yawping" on the podcast. Find out what it means wi...
LIFE LESSONS: "Answering the door? Put on a coat!"
05 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There are a couple of emails to deal with this week... First of all, a DL with access to the very highest rungs of power and influence and second of a...
Light Packing, Flying Cars & Shoegate
02 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Another week, another 'gate' at Whitehall Towers. What on Earth took place during 'shoegate'?! Plus, Julie from Taunton has a husband that refuses to ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Dim the lights and relax."
28 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's not often that things get testy at Whitehall Towers whilst the podcast is in session. Stronger words are usually reserved for pre and post-record...
Wobbly Shoes, Hugh of Orange & Sightseeing On Tour
25 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's an all sorts episode this week. There's an update from the DL who once dressed as Donald Duck (you remember, don't you?), a question about entert...
LIFE LESSONS: "Mulch your beds."
21 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
At this time of year, the green-fingered DL knows that there's work to be done in the garden. Luckily, David the gardener is on hand with some handy h...
Wardrobe Malfunctions, Toothgate & Katie from Kent
18 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Not all of us have suffered a wardrobe malfunction, but todays DL certainly did. Plus, some Christmas present advice and a cheeky voice note from Kent...
LIFE LESSONS: "Get yourself a towel that nobody else has got."
14 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's time for the maiden Wittering Whitehalls voice note! Remember to keep sending them in to the number below. Find out what DL Jenny's particular qu...
Master of Ceremonies, A Photo Request & Musophobia
11 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You DL's know your stuff, that's for sure. This week, a soon to be married DL needed to put her fiancé right about what Mr Whitehall would and wouldn...
LIFE LESSONS: "It's not ungrammatical, it's just silly."
07 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's been a little while since the Whitehalls have called Uncle Neil and this weeks email is the perfect opportunity to check back in with him... You ...
Imposter Syndrome, The Wrong Present & Historical Jesus
04 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Does Michael Whitehall ever suffer from imposter syndrome? What do we think...? Plus, buying an anniversary present and some of the best place names y...
LIFE LESSONS: "Don't give up."
31 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's not long until Mr & Mrs Whitehall accompany their son to New York for a show at the Carnegie Hall! So, how are the preparations coming along?...
Trick Or Treating, The Mystery Cone & A First Time Comedian
28 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We're into Mr Whitehall's favourite time of year... It's the spoooooooky season of halloween and he just can't get enough of it. On the slate this wee...
LIFE LESSONS: "A bit of dirt never hurt."
24 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a tired Mum of two is hoping that Mrs Whitehall can help to bring a bit of calm and order into the equation. Let's see... Make sure you're ...
Spiders, Bingo & Plant Wars
21 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Unfortunately, for the arachnophobes among us, it's the time of year where our eight-legged visitors begin to show themselves. This week, an emailer e...
LIFE LESSONS: "The devil is in the detail!"
17 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A couple of weeks ago, Mr & Mrs Whitehall were invited to The British Podcast Awards to present some awards. What a lovely treat. However, on this...
Attracting Attention, Family Crests & Going On Holiday With A Stranger
14 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There's almost nothing that Mr & Mrs Whitehall can't apply their wide-ranging experience and vast wisdom to and this week is no different. On the ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Try this trick when you're taking a picture..."
10 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There seem to be a lot of farmers getting in touch recently and today, it's the turn of Emmersen, a 'plant sex expert' from Canada. Gosh. Make sure yo...
Elvis Presley, Winston Churchill & Oxford Airport
07 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's a top tier edition of The Wittering Whitehalls this week. Find out the link between Winston Churchill and Oxford Airport and prepare to be taken ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Try a six second kiss, or a twenty second hug."
03 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Oxytocin is important, apparently. This week, Mrs Whitehall gives you a shortcut to oxytocin-infused bliss. It's all inspired by an email about huggin...
Corfu, Old Friends & Old Flames
30 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Whitehalls managed to sneak off for a little few days in Corfu, so how did it go? Plus, revisiting old romances and some big news regarding some l...
LIFE LESSONS: "Honesty & openness is the way forward."
26 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There are several things they say you should never discuss, but none of the rules apply when it comes to conversations between The Whitehalls & th...
Hoof Trimming, Teen Holidays & A Swedish Office Debacle
23 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Are you familiar with 'hoof trimming'? DO NOT look it up if you're eating, or generally hate things that are DISGUSTING. Plus, including the wrong rec...
LIFE LESSONS: "Never leave the house without a hat."
19 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Time for the 2nd dose of the week. Here's an email from an anonymous DL who is open to suggestions regarding his hair loss. Make sure you're subscribe...
New Series "Drop", Donald Duck & Roast Potato Gate
16 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
And just like that, they're back! Hilary & Michael, back on the sofa at Whitehall Towers answering your emails in the way only they can. Balance i...
LIFE LESSONS: "If there's the option of a picnic... Take it."
22 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
So, here's the final say from the Whitehalls before a little break. Keep an eye out for their return in September! Meanwhile, a DL inspires talk of al...
Ageing, Helping Out & Ditching The Booze (with special guest Nick Grimshaw!)
19 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Lovely Grimmy joins Michael & Hilary for the series finale to discuss how getting older works, why you should learn to say "no" and the upsides of...
LIFE LESSONS: "Keep up with the house maintenance!"
15 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There are ACTUAL experts on hand for todays life lessons, yes lessons plural! There's plenty to learn, so don't be distracted by Mr Whitehall standing...
Dietary Requirements, Playing A Character & 'Rawdogging'
12 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You might have heard the term 'rawdogging' before, but rest assured that it is not THAT which Mr & Mrs Whitehall find themselves discussing this w...
LIFE LESSONS: "You can do an awful lot with rhubarb."
08 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, DL Rachel suggests that this type of episode should be called a recipe-sode. Nice. Still in the garden at the BBH with all sorts of aircraf...
Doppelgängers, Hot Wax & Fatherhood with My Father
05 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
And now for something completely different... This week, Mr & Mrs Whitehall come to you from the garden of the BBH (do we all know what that means...
LIFE LESSONS: "Always keep the receipt!"
01 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A receipt can save you a lot of aggravation if you can lay your hands on it and this week, Mrs Whitehall has a very good example of just that. Plus, d...
A Wedding Dress, A 'SCUDL' & Throop
29 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What on earth is 'Throop'? Find out today! Plus, a tricky situation with a wedding dress, a relocation recommendation and the tale of Poundbury.You ca...
LIFE LESSONS: "The Grandparents know what they're doing!"
25 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a DL whose going back to work and worried that the headstrong toddler might get the best of her grandparents! Mrs Whitehall says... Don't w...
Pimple Popping, Artificial Intelligence & Shakespeare
22 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Now THERE is an episode title! This week, hear exactly what happens as an 84 year old man is introduced to the spot popping part of the internet. Wow....
LIFE LESSONS: "Setting your lights on timers before a holiday? Do this!"
18 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Security is important and if you're leaving your house for any length of time, you don't want anyone snooping around. Mrs Whitehall has the advice you...
A Sewing Machine, An Organ & Seven Miles To Bermondsey
15 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There's been a bit of showbiz mingling this week. Aside from all that, your excellent emails continue to come in and this week, it's time to talk abou...
LIFE LESSONS: "If there's an old man in YOUR seat, let him sit in it."
11 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's a "what would you have done?" episode this week. Mr & Mrs Whitehall had an exchange over seating arrangements in Greece and were left puzzled...
Downsizing, Hotel Musts & Tinkering In Toronto
08 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's time for the Monday fix of witterings for you, the DL! This week, advice on how to emotionally prepare for a big house move, what Mr Whitehall's ...
LIFE LESSONS: "If you buy a second hand car, don't buy it from a friend."
04 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's possibly only happened once before in Wittering Whitehalls history, but it's a Mr Whitehall hijack episode today. Let's see if they can find time...
Dinner Parties, Man Caves & Audiobooks
01 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Occasionally, Mr Whitehall will make an email from a DL much more complicated than it needed to be. You'll find an example within this episode. Plus, ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Don't leave packing to the very last minute!"
27 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Are you a last minute suitcase packer, or have you got everything laid out weeks before you leave? Mrs Whitehall is usually very organised, but on the...
Recommendations, Empty Nests & "Buh-Bum"
24 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, there's some inside information on bread packaging (see Mr Whitehall's rant from a couple of weeks ago), some suspicious podcast recommenda...
LIFE LESSONS: "Try vermouth in your risotto..."
20 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The delectable Patricia Hodge finally returned to Whitehall Towers to fulfil her promise to teach Michael how to make risotto. How did it go and what ...
Old Fashioned Food, Goats & A Summer of Sport
17 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Does Mr Whitehall enjoy the post-war, British culinary classics of the fifties and sixties? Let's find out! Plus, oodles of sport and a DL who wants t...
LIFE LESSONS: "Do a final sweep!"
13 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How's your memory? Even if it's absolutely spot on, it's always worth having that last look around to see if you've forgotten something!Make sure you'...
Cohabiting, University & Dream Analysis
10 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
For reasons unknown, an anonymous DL has sent in a very odd dream to be unpicked by Mr & Mrs Whitehall this week. How do you think that went? Plus...
LIFE LESSONS: "Use a loo brush."
06 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's possibly fair to say that most of us have wielded a loo brush from time to time... But what alternative use has Mrs Whitehall found for the mucki...
Sharing Digs, Awards Ceremonies & Breaking World Records
03 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever wanted to break a world record? One DL this week would love to... But doesn't have the time. Plus, awards ceremonies and a Hen Do proble...
LIFE LESSONS: "Don't go too hard..."
30 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
As summer approaches, you might find yourself with renewed vigour to start living a healthier life, full of good food and plenty of exercise... But be...
Helpful Hindering, Herbal Tea & Daredevils
27 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, The Whitehalls have been hobnobbing with the great and good. Plus, trying to be helpful but making it worse, herbal tea and what ever happe...
LIFE LESSONS: "You rest, you rust..."
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This weeks life lesson comes not just from Mrs Whitehall... In fact, it comes courtesy of a Mr A Schwarzenegger...Make sure you're subscribed! You can...
Red Flags, Letter Writing & Split Infinitives
20 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you were to have a rummage through the Wittering Whitehalls mail bag, you'd find dozens of emails trying to wind Mr Whitehall up about language, gr...
LIFE LESSONS: "Always make an extra portion."
16 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's always a relief to be able to pull something out of the freezer if you can't be bothered with making dinner. Mrs Whitehall advises just that, bas...
Worst Pain Homework, Binge Watching & A DL Pilot
13 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They're back and ready to do it all again! Michael & Hilary are primed with another crop of your fabulous emails and they've got plenty of thought...
An Exciting Announcement!
09 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Would you like to come and see The Wittering Whitehalls LIVE work in progress shows? On May 28th & 29th, you can see Michael & Hilary live at ...
LIFE LESSONS: "You CAN teach an old dog new tricks." (with special guest Patricia Hodge!)
18 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The marvellous Patricia Hodge very kindly stayed a little longer, to assist Mrs Whitehall in a pointed life lesson. Michael has got some homework to d...
Godly, Noble & Hilarious (with special guest Patricia Hodge!)
15 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What a fabulous guest to end the series with! Patricia joins Michael and Hilary on the sofa at Whitehall Towers, to discuss baby names, least favourit...
LIFE LESSONS: "If you're doing something illicit, make sure you're wearing a sturdy walking shoe."
11 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's one of the more wordy life lessons, but it's a valuable one nonetheless. Also this week, hear Mr Whitehall proven wrong on the pronunciation of a...
The Gift Registry, Roses & Turning 30
08 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's a trademark 45 minutes or so of Wittering from the Whitehalls this week. They end up all over the place, from towel bundles to charades and beyon...
LIFE LESSONS: "Always double and triple check, before you post something!"
04 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Mrs Whitehall recently had a social media mishap. Do you ever post pictures online? If you do... Be absolutely certain what's in the picture before yo...
Practical Jokes, Craft Projects & Home Videos
01 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Never mind the fact that 'wittering' is in the title... This week, the Whitehalls get further off track than they've ever been before. Even so, they s...
LIFE LESSONS: "Never trust a fart."
28 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Despite Mr Whitehall's preference for more 'upmarket' content, as he calls it, sometimes there will be an inevitable slip into the gutter. That said, ...
Body Hair, Caving & A Friend's Sister
25 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Wittering Whitehalls is almost always eclectic, but this week is all over the place! Michael addresses his habits around bodily hair, a DL has a s...
LIFE LESSONS: "Our worst fears are in anticipation."
21 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How are you with public speaking? This week, a DL has got a new job (yay!), but may have overstated his ability in this particular arena. Fear not, be...
Pronunciation, Funerals & Trooping The Colour
18 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's all about light and shade, this game. This week, The Whitehalls have all their usual laughs and rants, plus a more thoughtful email from a young ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Warm it, before you whip it in."
14 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Wittering Whitehalls is not a podcast awash with double entendre, but it's a phenomenon that will crop up from time to time. Mrs Whitehall conside...
Health & Safety, Fancy Shoes & "Where Do Babies Come From?"
11 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Good luck to anybody having to answer the "where do babies come from" question. It can be a tough one! Also this week, Rob, the health & safety of...
LIFE LESSONS: "Everything Frittata..."
07 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Hands up if the episodes with recipes make you hungry! Mrs Whitehall has another budget busting recipe this week, with a few meanders, avenues and all...
Step Counting, Incense & Bluetooth Mishaps
04 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Hilary managed to persuade Michael into wearing her smartwatch, in order to count his steps. Find out what happened next... Plus, burning i...
LIFE LESSONS: "It's often easier to pull than to push."
29 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Hilary & Michael tackle your traditional midweek query and offer some (occasionally) sage advice. Make sure you're subscribed! You can email your ...
Sexist Remarks, Solving A Mystery & Dating In DC
26 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a DL is compelled to write in her kind thoughts on a previous DL's email and there's a 40 year old mystery to solve, involving a lamp post ...
LIFE LESSONS: "Sit down and shut the f*** up."
22 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Mr Whitehall quite effectively distills the life lesson down this week, into one easily remembered phrase. So, what should you do Make sure you're sub...
American Tourists, Celebrity Products & Retro Toys (with special guests Woody Harrelson & Laura Louie!)
19 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Well, this is a bit of a surprise... A mid-series appearance from a pair of BIG guests! Woody Harrelson and his lovely wife Laura join Michael and Hil...
LIFE LESSONS: "Join The National Trust... For Uncle Neil."
15 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's always nice to get Neil on the phone and that's exactly what's happening this week. As it turns out, he's uniquely qualified to answer this weeks...
National Service, Running A Pub & Motorway Services
12 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a member of the armed forces asks about Mr Whitehall's military life (or lack thereof), a landlord tells the story of how he made his dream...
LIFE LESSONS: "Let people know they're in your thoughts."
08 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's another hand written letter this week. It's lovely to keep in touch, by whatever means, because it reminds people that you're thinking of them, e...
Winston, Alternative Medicine & A Lovely Update
05 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a DL has a BIG question about Winston... What will become of him!? Plus, complimentary and alternative medicine and an encouraging update f...
LIFE LESSONS: "Draw the battle lines early."
01 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's true to say that the DL's are a fabulous bunch, across a huge variety of age categories. Apparently, the Witterings of the Whitehalls appeal to e...
The Ick, Toddler Tantrums & A Tricky Wedding Situation
29 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Stop what you're doing folks... Michael Whitehall is about to learn what "the ick" is. Plus, never mind the 'terrible twos,' it's the 'thunderous thre...
LIFE LESSONS: "Make sure you've got a boxset downloaded."
25 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, an anonymous emailer needs advice on how to get through a holiday with their boyfriend's family in very close quarters. The Whitehalls are ...
Tellings Off, Bad Influences & Ghostly Images
22 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever seen Elvis in a piece of toast? Perhaps you glimpsed John Lennon in a patch of damp? This week, an emailer brings news of Margaret Thatc...
LIFE LESSONS: "Get the first few rounds..."
18 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's an A-lister heavy anecdote type of week this week... Get ready for some big name drops...Make sure you're subscribed! You can email your quest...
Pantomimes, Adrenaline Junkies & Turning Into Your Parents
15 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's back to brilliant, business as usual for The Wittering Whitehalls this week. Three brilliant emails, answered in their inimitable style!You can e...
LIFE LESSONS: "Get with the tech!"
11 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Do you think Mr Whitehall is particularly at ease when it comes to using modern technology? This week, Mrs Whitehall explains why it's important for h...
Turin, Berlin, Los Angeles & Beyond...
08 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Back again and this time, much sooner than usual! The Whitehalls are wasting no time in getting back into business following the Christmas break and t...
LIFE LESSONS: "Be prepared!"
14 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It's the final instalment for series 4, but the good news is that you don't have too long to wait! Once Christmas & New Year are out the way, The ...
Hidden Snacks, The Future & 'Would You Rather?' (with special guest James O'Brien!)
11 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You've probably picked up on the fact that James O'Brien is a favourite at Whitehall Towers, so it's very exciting to have him on as a guest! Recorded...