I used to be the first person to find a distraction from my feelings. after years of feeling worse and worse about myself and my relationships, I ended up figuring out that I just needed to face the quiet. I needed to let people talk before I put words in their mouth.sending you all love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
Full Episode
If you want to know if somebody is telling the truth or not when you ask them a difficult question, give them silence. Give them silence. Ask the question and let them answer. A lot of us like to put things in other people's mouths. What I mean by that is we like to voice assumptions. We are trying to be in denial of let's say a person who has...
told us that there was a guy we didn't have to worry about and we definitely had to worry about them and something went down and we're trying to be in crisis mode and still figure things out but in the back of your mind you know what happened you know what went down and so we go into this investigation right on some Sherlock Holmes and eventually it's us and the other person sitting in a room talking and as they answer
What we do is we just, we build out their answer for them. Oh, I know you did this because, you know, you just, you felt like I was neglecting you. Oh, I know you did this because I wasn't paying as much attention to you and maybe I felt you, you know, I made you feel belittled. No. Let them answer the question. Because if you say it for them and it's not true, They can agree with it.
They can let you live with it. But I think that there is so much power if you learn in your life to enjoy the silence. I love silence. I love it in conversation. I don't think it's awkward. I don't think it's weird. I think it's telling. Silence speaks volumes.
Oftentimes, it speaks volumes when I make a joke that is brain rotted, and somebody that I care about goes, and I'm like, oh, I'm cooked, I'm done, it's over. It's over for me, because they don't know about friggin' packet. They don't know about friggin' packet, and you know, and bro, they don't know about any of that, and it's just like I'm talking to a wall. Oh gosh. Maybe I'm the problem.
You know what? Actually, revision, I'm the problem. But I've learned to enjoy the silence because there was a time in my life where I really didn't like silence and I thought it was a bad thing. And I thought that I needed to insert myself into, you know, every conversation, everything. And I couldn't just be myself and just exist. The other day I was with two of my homies.
We were working on something together. And one of them brought up the fact that they listened to an underground artist named Koi. Shout out. And the other, his eyes lit up and said, you listen to Koi? I listen to Koi. And both of them just immediately clicked and had a moment. And I remember I was sitting in the back of the car and I was just like, dang. Dang.
I felt like the where my hug at person. You get me? You know, that one friend. Oh, where my hug at? Get away from me, bro. Oh, my. Hell no. Hell no. And I wanted to have some of that excitement of like, oh, I know this artist, too, even though I didn't know them.
And I don't know, I was a little envious of that, but I remember in that moment I was like, wait a minute, this is a beautiful moment where two people are figuring out that they both have similar interests and that they have a similar vibe. That's a really beautiful thing. Why should I insert myself into that? Why can't I just experience it? As an outsider. As somebody who's just looking in.
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