in today's economy, don't let people live rent free in your head... but don't ignore the patterns you notice. https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
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And it's painful when you show somebody every side of you. You're vulnerable to them. You tell them things you would never tell anybody else. And they take all of it and use it against you, weaponize it against you. Why would you trust anyone ever again? You wouldn't. I used to think that all you needed to do to get over somebody was forgive and forget. Just move on.
Say that it happened and c'est la vie. Life goes on. But I remember a conversation I had with my father. It was after I had had like a relationship for two months in like middle school. And I was cheated on, which is like, how do you, anyways, it just, it happened and it was weird and I don't know.
But in that moment, I talked to my dad, and he told me, you know, James, one thing you have to remember is that when people make mistakes, you can forgive, but you don't forget. You never forget.
And his beautiful Eastern European accent, it tickled my eardrums, and I just, I have not forgotten that piece of advice. Because I still use it today. Forgive, but don't forget. It sounds counterintuitive. Don't you want to forget the bad things that happened to you? Don't you want to just get that out of your brain? Well, of course you do. Everyone does.
I don't want to sit here and harp on the bad things that have happened to me. I mean, what's the point? There's so much more to do. There are so many better uses of my time. I can spend that time being in love with the things that I do on a daily basis, spending that energy with people that I like. But there is something to be said about remembering. You have to remember the bad.
I've learned that in the moments that I felt the most wrong was done to me, I couldn't forget it because I didn't want it to happen again. And this is a very common problem. I'm sure everyone has a friend who continuously gets in a terrible relationship with a partner that just does not care about them. And every time you try to tell them, girl, bro, they're not good for you.
And they keep going back. That is because They have done the first part. They have forgiven the past person or in a lot of cases, they don't even do that. They're still hung up on their ex because the amount of people that are hung up on their ex in this generation is insane. But they forget. They forget. They move on. Kind of. They don't fully move on.
I think that they pretend that they move on, but they just look for the next fix. The next person that is going to give them that satisfaction of being with somebody, even though they don't like them. I don't think this is right. I don't think this is right. If you want somebody who is going to love you for you and who's going to be a genuine partner, wouldn't you want to remember them?
The ones that were not it. Like, yo, that was not it. You'd want to remember. You don't want to keep making the same mistake and expecting different results. It's not how it works. Going back to what my dad told me, I really kept that close to me.
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