it's not over.are things out of your control? yes. does it feel crushing to not see any progress as you try to improve your situation? absolutely. but it doesn't mean you can't change.be patient, focus on the things you can control. find out what you can change moving forward, DO NOT get stuck ruminating in the past. that's how you build resentment towards yourself.sending you all tons of love and peaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!https://stan.store/thezurkieshow
Full Episode
Sometimes you couldn't change anything at all. It had nothing to do with how you acted. It was genuinely them. You know how sometimes you get broken up with? It's not you, it's me. Most of the time that's Cap, but sometimes it's true. It's true. It really isn't you. It's the other person that is not... They're not ready. She wasn't ready. They're not ready. What do you do when there is no hope?
None. Your brain has basically made your environment into a shell for you to sit in and realize how bad everything is in your own life, how bad everything is in a situation that you're in. You are holding on to dear life. with your girlfriend, boyfriend, partner. You have had multiple conversations about trying, trying to save this relationship, but you can tell you're more in it than they are.
They're checked out. They're checked out on a first-class flight to, I don't know, Hingeland. In moments like that where there is no hope, Things are out of your control. You have submitted your paper that you low-key, you know, waited to the last minute to submit. You know, it happens.
There is this level of anxiety and this fear that still holds on and grips tight onto a lot of the situations and a lot of the hard moments in our life. And this thought has helped me a lot. It's actually helped me realize that some things are better left out of our control. And that is asking yourself, what can you change? What can you change?
Because in a lot of situations, you can't change a lot, right? The way in which you acted, the way in which you did something, you said something, it is what it is. Famously, it is what it is. You cannot do anything to really revert that. You decided to hook up with somebody you're not very proud of. Hey, it happens, fam. Come on now. What can you change?
You can't really change anything about that. You know that you had a lackluster year at school. You promised yourself that you were going to do better. You were going to lock in. You were going to learn trigonometry or something, you know. And halfway through, you're like, this is cooked. Like, whatever. It's fine. What can you change?
In a lot of the situations in our life, we can actually change a lot. We can. But a lot of that has to come from reflection. From realizing that the way in which you acted was not the way that you wanted to act or it was bad in some kind of way. It made you feel bad. It made somebody else feel bad. It was a bad outcome. Without reflection, you don't know what you can change. You don't, right?
To the same point, sometimes you couldn't change anything at all. Sometimes they just, they did not see your worth. They did not see your value. And that's why the relationship ended. That's why you felt distant from them. You felt them pulling back from you. That's why. It had nothing to do with how you acted. It was genuinely them. You know how sometimes you get broken up with?
It's not you, it's me. Most of the time that's Cap. But sometimes it's true. It's true. It really isn't you. It's the other person that is not you. They're not ready. She wasn't ready. They're not ready. Going back to feeling hopeless. There was a period in my life where I would wake up every morning and look at the ceiling and I felt like I was in a reptile cage.
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